Don't Call me Mama (9) - Labour is not that serious. Or is it?

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope we are all staying home, having a great time with family and friends. This fuel scarcity and traffic doesn’t have part 2, but we will still have a great time this holiday season because we choose to not let our spirit be down. I have a Christmas gift for you towards the end of this post

We are almost at the end of this series, and I’m very happy I went through with it. Without much talk, here goes my labour experience.

I always thought that when labour contractions start at home before you go to the hospital, the woman will be screaming and sweating and rolling on the floor, then she will stop and then start again. Or at least, if she doesn't scream, she will at least be moaning in pain

So continuing from last edition, when my labour started, I only knew because my contractions became more frequent. When the castor oil kicked in the contractions, I kept walking to and fro in a straight line in the living room for 2 hours and watching tv at the same. When the timing between contractions shortened, I knew I was definitely in labour. And when my mucus plug came out sometime later when I was on the phone, I knew there was no question about it. I casually said to the guy I was talking to on the phone

“I’m going into labour. You are the only one who knows now. Don’t tell the others yet. I will be a mother by this time tomorrow, and I will send you guys the picture of the baby.”

The guy was like “Oh wow, okay… congratulations.” I’m sure he must have been confused about what to say to me and how to respond because one minute we were discussing, and the next thing, I tell him I’m in labour, and then we keep discussing like nothing happened.  

After this time, I wanted to stay back home for one more hour just to be sure especially since I didn’t want to be charged for false labour at the hospital. I guess because I wasn’t screaming and rolling all over the floor, I didn’t want to take it too serious but my mum convinced me that it was time to go to the hospital. It was when I got into the car that I realised the reason I wasn’t feeling so much pain even though the contractions were very real.

I had gone through this process before but more severe and painful when I had the red degeneration of fibroid, so my pregnancy contractions were like child’s play compared to it.

Before I left for the hospital, I left a message for my husband about the development. My mother later said I shouldn’t have done that, so that I would just come out of nowhere and surprise him with a baby, lol. Apparently, she was just about to find out that my husband and I are gossip buddies number 1, and found it hard to keep things from each other. When I got to the hospital, the first nurse I met kept looking at me with suspicion like “girllll, you can’t be in labour right now.”

She kept asking questions “when is your due date, how severe is your pain, when was the last time you experienced contraction/pain?”

All I heard was “yeah right! Labour indeed. Madam, go home and don’t waste my time. You are not in labour.”

Anyway, she examined me. I expected that I was going to be about 1cm or 2cm dilated. My people, I was 5cm gone!

Don't Call me Mama (8) - How to manipulate your delivery date

I'll skip my journey to the US for delivery because there was nothing special about it except that they didn't know I was pregnant especially because of the kind of top I wore. I told the immigration officers though, and all I needed to provide was evidence that I had enough money to sort my bills out.

I moved from New York to Houston to have my baby and then to San Antonio one week after delivery to wait for six weeks before returning to Nigeria.

By week 38, I was so ready to pop but my baby wasn't ready to come out, I guess.

I'm on a regular cycle of 26 days so I had 2 estimates due dates, one for 28 day cycle and another for my own 26 day cycle, which was just 2 days before the 28 day cycle one.

When I was 39 weeks, I was still 1cm dilated which is what I had been for the previous 4 weeks so I was slightly worried cos I didn't want to be induced to labour. I kept hoping that I would go into labour somewhere between 39 and 40 weeks but it didn't happen.

I had been researching the use of castor oil to induce labour naturally and after many considerations, I decided to use it on my 26 day cycle EDD.

Now here's the deal about using castor oil to induce labour

Don't Call me Mama (7) - I solved the Mystery behind women eating their unborn children

“There’s a problem with your result.” The doctor said to my husband and me as he took an intense look at my medical report.

I was getting ready to leave the country to continue my pregnancy journey, and I had to take all necessary tests along with me even though the new doctor I was using said they would still take their own tests. I decided to take tests in Nigeria, so I would be armed and equipped with all my medical records.

“What could be the problem?” I thought. At least, I was sure I wasn’t HIV positive. I had read that much from the medical report.

“You said this is your first baby. Right?” The doctor continued.

“Yes sir.”

“And you have never been pregnant before.”

“Yes sir.” I said emphatically. “Even this pregnancy sef ehn, I was dashed by force.” I thought.

I think what I was hearing was, “If you have been pregnant before, now is the time to confess.”

“Your test says you are rhesus negative.”

"Okay, what is the implication of that?" I thought to myself'. I was silently wondering where this was leading.

Don't Call me Mama (6) - Nigerian Parent - American Baby! Why the Trend?

For me, the decision to have a baby within or outside Nigeria was determined by many factors, and the prestige of having an American citizen as a child had nothing to do with it. I would be taking one after the other.

Cost: This was one of the major factors of the decision. Over and over again, I would count the cost of travelling out, hospital visit, transportation, flight, etc., and I would ask myself if it was worth it. It was damn costly. I considered the pros and cons. What made my mind settled about all of these was that I considered the whole venture as an investment, rather than an expense. Let’s face it, as for now, a blue passport gets people so many opportunities than a green passport does, from education to business, etc. So I closed my eyes, spent the money, knowing I would drink gari for some time. I could have bought a plot of land, scratch that, three plots of land in Epe side, or brand new car, but I decided that this is a good thing to sacrifice for my child. The only way I could cushion the effect on my pocket was by cutting cost where I could. I found affordable hospitals, stayed with family, etc. All in all, I spent about $11,000.00. It’s still paining me till now, but it’s all good. At least, I didn’t borrow a dime, and I can boast that I owe no hospital or any American organization money, so I’m grateful.

Education: I was more convinced that I was doing the right thing for my child when ASUU went on strike in August. I was like “when will this ever end?” The same strike they’ve been striking since my Uni days? Just to drive it home, I finished secondary school 17 years ago. And they are still striking now? Are these the schools I would consider sending my child? Or will I have a child in this country and then spend tens of thousands of dollars sending my children to school abroad in future? Hell no. I would rather sacrifice now, and rest later than rest now and sacrifice later.

Don't Call me Mama (5) - What's Gender got to do with it?

Right from my single days, I always knew I never wanted to know the gender of the foetus in my womb when I eventually got pregnant. I always fantasised about when I have a baby, and the doctor would say “Congratulations, it is a boy” or “Congratulations, it is a girl” and the look on my face would be that of genuine surprise and excitement about the reveal.

I communicated this to my husband when we were courting, and also after we found out about the pregnancy, and he was very cool with it. At least, I thought so.

Early in the pregnancy, I sensed that my husband wanted a girl subconsciously, even though he was not aware of it. He was always looking at cute toddler girls’ video in IG, you know those ones who play pranks on adults and also have sharp mouth, lol. Later, I started thinking, hmm, a girl would not be a bad idea, even though I really had no preference.

When I went for my first ultrasound, it was too early to tell the gender, and that was when we found out about the fibroid.

By the time I went for the second ultrasound, I was on admission at a different hospital, suffering from the red degeneration of fibroid. Immediately my husband and I entered and I lay on the bed, I told the man conducting the ultrasound that I didn’t want to know the gender so he should keep the news to himself.

During the third ultrasound, my husband wasn’t in the room. The guy started his thing, and the next thing I heard was

Don't Call me Mama (4) - Casting off the cloak Society places on pregnant women

How long does one keep the news of a pregnancy secret before telling it to close friends and family?

Well, I don’t know. I’m not even sure there’s a standard time, though I hear people say you can tell family after three months, i.e. the first trimester. I got pregnant in January, but found out about it in the second week of February. We decided we would tell our mothers in April. I chose that time, not because it was anything special, but because I would need to start making travel arrangements, which would require me informing my aunt, who I was considering as a possible host. Of course, I would never tell my aunt without telling my mum first. That was the major determining factor for me.

The funniest thing was that our mothers already knew I was pregnant before we told them, lol. How did they know?

My mother-in-law said she dreamt about it, and her dreams are always real. That woman is gangster. She also dreamt about the gender of my child, and she was accurate. On the day I had my baby, she told my husband I was going to have my baby that day because she had seen it, lol. Again, she was right.

As for my mother, she started suspecting I was pregnant after she called me on two occasions and I told her I wasn’t feeling fine. I, Atilola Moronfolu, am always feeling fine. Even when my body wants to give up on me, I talk sense into it, and tell it to get back to work, lol. So for me to have succumbed to the point that she could hear weakness in my voice, she put two and two together.

Our mothers were very happy, as expected of African parents, that their children didn’t have to ‘wait’, and that they would be having their first grandchild, on both sides.

Those were the only people I officially told. Every other person found out when they saw bulging stomach, which I successfully concealed for five months before giving up and crying to my husband that I have no more clothes to hide my stomach.

People were generally happy for us. Only one person openly voiced out the swiftness in which I got pregnant.

Like many other situations, such as marriage, society tries to define how you should be when you are pregnant. And for many of their expectations of me, I defied them.

I refused to buy or wear maternity clothes because I don’t like them. I had just one maternity top, which my sister bought for me. Apart from that, I continued to wear my regular clothes till the very day my baby dropped out of me. It wasn’t a struggle for me because thankfully, I didn’t put on weight and my tops were enough for my bulging stomach. I must say I am a very bad prospect for maternity businesses.

Secondly, I continued to wear my high heels. In fact, I wore heels till I left Nigeria at 34 weeks. It was a matter of if you don’t like it, carry your eyes elsewhere, lol. Anyone who knows me knows my heels are not the low type. I mean, if we call something high heels, then they should be high. Right?
I just refused to fit into the stereotype of the pregnant woman look. The one with swollen face, swollen feet, fat laps in her flat slippers or shoes, arms supporting her waist, with stomach protruding out of a very ugly maternity gown. Please, that wasn’t me, and I wasn’t going to let society put me in that mould with their constant side comments. I wanted to be the perfect stylish preggo, and that was what I was.

On two occasions, I was face to face with this issue

After church, someone sent my husband a message reading “Your wife is pregnant. Right?” to which he answered in the affirmative. The next thing the sender sent was “but her legs don’t look pregnant.” Translation: You need to tell your wife to stop wearing heels. Even if your wife doesn’t know better, you should know better.

On another occasion, during my last bout with Red degeneration of fibroid, which got aggravated when I was in church, before we left for the hospital, a doctor tried to attend to me in church. She was only able to give me painkillers. She told me to make sure I hide my heels from the doctors when I get to the hospital so they won’t wrongfully diagnose my condition by looking at me and sending me back home because I was on heels. She said even though she knows the heels had nothing to do with my issue, some doctors would want to find the easiest thing to blame my pain on instead of carrying out a thorough check. Thankfully, I always have a pair of slippers in the car, so ‘hiding my heels’ was not a problem at all.

As regards wearing heels while pregnant, the jury is still out on that. I know it has a lot to do with posture and the change in centre of gravity as the body changes. I’ve never been one to wear flat shoes, so flat shoes might have even been more uncomfortable for me. If you ask for my advice, I would say do what is best for you, your body and your health.

And now that the baby is here and growing, many people expect that one will drop all these ‘Sisi’ ways, and get into the motherhood role. Things like your dressing, hairstyle options, and even tiny stature should change. I don’t buy all that crap. As long as one is a responsible person and mother, carrying oneself and living a life that one’s children won’t be ashamed of, that’s all that matters. If you like, keep wearing your skinny jeans, dye your hair purple and shave it by the sides, it’s your life.

As for me, I know I have the choice to write my own story the way I want it to be read, and that is exactly what I would do.

Please, let us know your opinion on this post in the comment session. What do rules do you think a pregnant woman should or should not adhere to?

Don't Call me Mama (3) - Six Things No One told me about Pregnancy

The pregnancy journey is indeed an interesting one. It is like a trip you take, and you encounter many strangers, both pleasant and unpleasant, along the way. The thing is whether you like it or not, you will have experiences that will be very surprising to you, and most of them, you will be shocking  because no one prepared you for the journey. Without more talking, here are some things I definitely wasn't prepared for when I found out I was pregnant.

That I will be a nine-month spitting machine

I started spitting some weeks after pregnancy. It started like a joke, till I had to start carrying a stainless cup everywhere I went. I tried everything under the planet. I tried bitter kola, ginger, ice cubes, minty sweets and gum, crackers, everything. Nothing worked. It just got worse. They said it would stop when I was like 5 or 6 months gone. It never did. Even when I had my baby, I kept spitting for about the next 6 hours. And just like that, there was no urge to spit.

The condition is called ptyalism, and it sometimes put me in some embarrassing situations. I remember going for a meeting, and I underestimated the length of the meeting so I didn’t have enough sweets with me. I was down to my last butter mint sweet, and the meeting wasn’t even half way. I told my pastor, mehn I’m in trouble. We asked the man we were meeting with for sweet. I basically said excuse me sir, there’s an emergency “I need sweet right now.” He was confused, but had to get me sweets from one of his subordinates, after which we explained my condition. After that day, I switched from using minty sweets in meeting to using strong minty gums. I used to sleep with tom tom in my mouth at night, in order not to spit on my husband’s chest where I had to lay my head on because of pain emanating from my left ribs. Later the tom tom stopped working, so I switched to minty gums, but they made my mouth feel somehow in the morning. We basically settled to laying tissue paper on part of his chest so that when I moved from unconsciousness to sub-consciousness, and the spits starts dripping out, the tissue will prevent his chest from taking the hit of my condition. The guy basically sacrificed his chest for me for months. He is the real MVP, lol.

That everyone’s journey is different

When I got pregnant, my eyes made the mistake of seeing Ciara dancing with her big baby bump, and moving mountains, while I could hardly lift my hands, even though my stomach was as flat as a drawing board.

Don't call me Mama (2) - The time I felt like ripping my baby apart

My first trimester was a very rough and challenging one. I became someone I didn't recognize.

I found out that I was pregnant on February 9. The first wave of weakness hit me on February 14 when I went to my parents’ house to pack some items from my old office room. Things I would normally lift sent me to a realm of tiredness I couldn't come out of hours later. The sweet and sour Chinese sauce my husband ordered to celebrate valentines didn't go down well in my mouth and stomach.

It was like a downward descent from that day. Morning sickness hit me like Anthony Joshua’s punches. I could hardly climb the stairs without almost passing out. Sometimes climbing the stairs to the fourth floor rendered me immobile for 3 hours. My tiredness and weakness made me very unproductive. And the unproductiveness sent me into depression because I was... well, unproductive. I felt I was producing nothing and had nothing to show for my existence on earth. During this period, I resented the whole pregnancy thing, and almost felt like slashing my stomach open and ripping out the baby.

Spices irritated me. Cooking my breakfast for was left to my husband. I threw up a lot in the mornings. I threw up till my eyes bulged out, veins showed on my temples, and specks of blood came out sometimes.

I was so convinced that my tiredness was peculiar to me. Surely, pregnant women can't be feeling this way. I see them all around going strong with their business and other affairs. I was a novice, my husband was a novice so I pressured him to call doctors and find a solution to my problem immediately because I just couldn't continue life this way.

Don't call me Mama (1) - Lust visited, and the visitor got lost

I started my period at the age of 11, and never for once since then had I missed my period. They were as regular as a tax calendar. So imagine my shock when 6 weeks after marriage, the period got lost, considering the fact that we were not planning to have a child immediately. I felt we had been careful, counting the cycle. What a joke!

I told my husband about the lost period and told him I was suspecting pregnancy because I had never missed a period. He kind of laughed it off, saying "it's like you are eager to get pregnant." I felt like punching him. After another 2 days, when the ‘lost’ wasn't found, I told him again, and then we brought out the pregnancy kit

I had bought two pregnancy test strips at pound land last year October. Even though I wasn't married, my wedding was around the corner, and I figured that at least 9 months from then, we should be trying for a baby. I felt it was a good idea to save money by buying the strips for 1 pound each and keeping them for a year than coming to Nigeria to buy them at an exorbitant price in Nigeria

So I used the strip, and it gave a negative result. I was a bit relieved but still confused. “If I'm not pregnant, where exactly is my lost period?” We had been suspecting that maybe it was the antibiotics I used 3 weeks earlier that messed my cycle up, but mehn, I've used antibiotics before and nothing bad happened.

A week later, still nothing. I confided in my friend, and we decided that I should use the second strip which I had been miserly with. I used it.

It wasn't negative

It wasn't positive

It was invalid!

Kai. Wahala. There goes my last strip… So much for saving money from pound land.

The next morning, I had a big fight with the husband. In annoyance, I made an unplanned trip to a diagnostics centre. Blood was pulled and what I suspected all along

It was positive!

Don’t call me Mama... My name still remains Atilola

Hey my people. How's everyone doing?  I have a little something for you all. Be sure to read to the end, I promise, it will be worth your while. I gave birth to something and this time it breathes

If you have followed this blog for a while, you will know that I like delivering new projects from time to time. And for most of those projects, I always announce it on the blog when they are ready, mostly because you don’t know where support can come from.

I have delivered many things on this blog, from books to events and concerts, programs, etc. but never in all these times has any of those projects breathed life.

It is my great pleasure to announce to you that for the first time ever, I delivered something, and it's breathing, lol.

My baby is 15 days old today.

Introducing the first Spoken Word school in Nigeria

Hi guys. How's everything going with you all? As you might know, I have been teaching teenagers and youths Spoken Word poetry for some years now, with the exception of 2017. Some of my student have gone ahead to win various competitions including War of Word's, God's Children Great Talent, etc.

Ever since the 'tutorship' started and grew, I knew I had to open it up to the general public somehow, especially because of the demand from various people all over Lagos

Anyway, as a result of the demand and the current gap, we have set up a full academy, with various tutors to teach different aspects, both theory and practical.

And with this said, we introduce to you the first Spoken Word school in Nigeria, Spoken Word Academy for Youths (SWAY)

This school will run session by session, with each session lasting for a duration of two months, and then the students graduate. The students stand to gain a lot of knowledge about Spoken Word and Public Speaking. At N10,000.00, it sure is a

Yaayyy, I appeared on a Vlog - Discovering Naturals

Having an active Youtube channel is something I've always wanted, but never really gotten to, because it doesn't make sense to start something you can'be be consistent with, especially on Social Media. So for now, I just stick with putting my Spoken Word videos on Youtube, if I can obtain them from events I'm invited to.

Last week, I got the opportuninty to shoot a very short Vlog with Discovering Naturals for her channel. DN is one of the writers for my hair blog, African Naturalistas. She is our kids hair care expert. If you haven't been reading our blog, you should do so. It is a great repository of information for natural hair care. Our online store where you can get all our products is africanaturalistas.com/ourstore, or just click here.

We got together, hung out, discussed, and did some school runs with the kids. The video below is what happened as a result. It's quite short. Watch it, and lemme know what you think.

How education affects your shopping practice

Source

There's a research that says the more a woman is educated and enlightened, the more she shops. And the more a man is educated and enlightened, the less he shops.

This is a research based on data and properly collected facts. Even if it wasn't, I'm inclined to agree. What about you?

If you agree with the research, why do you think this is the case? Is it because the more enlightened a woman is, the more empowered she becomes, causing her spending power to increase day by day?

The more empowered a guy is, the more interested he becomes in other things, his responsibilities increase, and the less he needs to prove to people that he's a success by what he puts on.

Let’s bring it closer to home a bit, and look at our Nigerian people. Who's more invested in the aso ebi thing? The women of course. We don’t see the men going all crazy about how they’ll shop for one Aso ebi or another. Sometimes, it’s like the richer the women, the more expensive the aso ebi.

Knowing when to Speak up and when to Zip it up!

What do you do when...

You meet your friend who is currently in a relationship or courtship, and you know without an iota of doubt that should this courtship lead to marriage, there’s bound to be misery, which might or might not lead to divorce? I mean, all the red flags are waving dangerously in your face, and giving you cold shivers, but you don’t really want to say anything because you don’t feel it’s your place.

If this person was a chummy buddy of yours, whom you could share everything except toothbrush and underpants with, it would have been easier for you to speak up, like hot knife on butter. But even though this person is your very good friend, you are not close.

So you feel you are in a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation.

I met a lady out of the country about 3 years ago. We started talking because we needed to work together in the hair care industry. I met her in 2014 for the first time. Between 2014 and 2015 when I met her for the second time, we had grown a bit closer, and I knew she had started a relationship. Anyway, during my next visit to her, I noticed few red flags.

The worst Uber driver I ever encountered

I've had a number of experiences using Uber, mostly pleasant. I started using Uber long before they came to Nigeria, mostly because I go to some cities that have wacky transportation system, like Los Angeles, etc. The major attraction for me when traveling somewhere is how easily I can move around without having to inconvenience my host, and some cities do a poor job of providing that.

I've used Uber in Lagos Nigeria only twice. Most of my Uber trips have been in different states in US and quite uneventful

Last week, I decided to take an Uber ride from one part of Houston to the other. The first red flag was that the driver was on a 4 star rating. Any Uber rider knows that this is pretty low for Uber, and personally, this is the lowest Uber rating I've ever encountered. I heard that they allow as low as 3 star rating in Nigeria, I’m not sure though.

I made up my mind right then that I would give her a 5 star rating in order to improve the driver’s rating so the driver doesn't get kicked out of Uber services. I always give Uber drivers 5 stars though, so this wasn’t a big deal.

My ride came as planned, and the driver was an Asian female, most likely Chinese or Hong Kong, from the way she looked.

It was supposed to be a 1 hour 20 minutes trip. She picked me up and the ride was uneventful. She only asked if my house got flooded and if I was married (side eye).

Then after like 30 minutes of the trip, she said she would have to drop me along the way, and I should get another Uber ride because she doesn't have enough gas. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I felt this must be the joke of the century.

I asked if I was going to be billed for the whole trip, since my account had been debited. She said it would be just for the miles she drove. Right in the car, without allowing me to respond, she ended the trip! I decided that this lady won’t get a penny from me even if it was my last blood I had to give.

How Tropical Storm Harvey affected me personally

I was on my way to Houston when Harvey struck Houston. Before the trip, it had been hitting other towns in Texas but I didn't know Houston would be affected.

While all the news about how bad Houston was hit was flying round the world, I was either somewhere in Cairo, or up in the sky, doing my own flying.

I got to JFK, where I was supposed to be on transit to Houston and I was slammed with the bad news.

Girl, you are not going anywhere today

The storm was terrible and the airport had been closed.

It was like my own hurricane hit me. This kind of thing had never happened to me before. I'm not supposed to be in New York now. Where in the world am I going to sleep? Where am I going to get unplanned money to spend? I was devastated.

The airline wasn't going to cover for inconveniences because it wasn't on an international leg, and it fell under natural disasters. They put me on the flight for the next day.

I counted my loss and went to sort myself out. After all, it was only for one day. Right?

Wrong!!!

My short but interesting interview on Wazobia Max

Hello people. Hope we are all doing well? Sorry for the absence of post last week... and yesterday. Been trying to clear up some last minute tasks in a jiffy.

I got invited to appear on Hello Nigeria, on Wazobia Max, as the inspirational woman of the week sometime last month. Even though the interview was short (in my opinion), it was enjoyable. And I like the fact that the video was put on youtube some days later, for my records. I don't understand why they titled the video with what they did though, lol.

Looking at how my cheeks appear, it's apparent that TV definitely makes me look bigger. Or maybe it's just Wazobia Max screen, lol.

I talked about several aspects of my life, and was able to cover a lot in such a short spate of time. I will appreciate it if you can watch the nterview below, and give me feedback, or just say what you think about it.



Expecting your comments. Thank you lovelies

My last major fight with my Mother

Source

I grew up in a house ruled by fear!

Well, that could be considered an exaggeration.

What I meant to say is that the fear of my mum was the beginning of wisdom. Being a school teacher who would later go ahead to work with my dad in his company, it was no surprise that she was a strict disciplinarian. She made it her life's mission to make sure that her children were 'not spoilt'

Caning, spanking and painful punishments were regular guests in the house that sometimes stayed for days on end.

There were advantages to the way my mum raised us but of course there were several disadvantages. The pros included raising disciplined children, who got to learn values very early in life and so much more.

One of the cons is that you will probably not be very close to your parents I.e. You won't be able to open up to them or give them intimate details about your life. This would most likely linger into adulthood.

Another con was that you tend to fear your parents very early in life. This means that you do the right things mostly out of fear, like “I dare not disobey mum or else I'm dead”

And then you grow up to the point where you have to make your own decisions. You are no longer motivated by fear of your mum. It's at this point that some kids choose to rebel. After all, what can mummy do to me? All she would do is shout and shut up. Kids always grow up to be immune to shouting and threatening parents.

Now the danger is if there was no other motivation to do the right things apart from the fear of your parents, you would most likely not do the right things when that fear fizzles out

In my own case, it played out in a funny way.

When bloggers go too far... just for a story

Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who read and commented on my last blog post. I can see women don't joke with sensitive issues like this.

I ended up calling my client, and she seems to be doing very fine now. She will resume the new job, and see how it turns out, although from what is currently being said, the new job seems offer a supportive environment to women, and enables them balance career and family. If you haven't read it, please do by clicking here, and lending your voice. This is because my client read the post, and is actually seeing the comments. So you can use the comment section to get to her.

Source

So something odd happened last week after the post was published. I was getting calls from a 'private number', which I kept cutting off because my number was recently used in a spam text, causing so many unknown numbers to call me, including 'private numbers'.

The person kept calling, so I picked, with the intention of cutting it immediately. Alas, I heard the voice of a well-spoken lady, who is a blog reader.

How the toilet changed her life forever

N:B- This post has been edited, by removing very descriptive details, to protect the identity of my client. 

By the virtue of my job as a trichology practitioner, I encounter women of all ages, varying backgrounds and life experiences, at my hair clinic

Many times, during consultation we have to go down to the personal area of their lives, and I must say, this is one of the things I enjoy most about my work as a trichology practitioner. The fact that women who were previously strangers to me can forget their inhibitions and get personal with me.

Recently, I was discussing with a mother of three. She's a very young career woman, basically got married early. She took a year off her career to focus on her family, and will be resuming a new job soon. When it comes to family support and child care, she's blessed with a supportive mother in law and good domestic hands. She seems to have it all, and obviously, she's basically done with child birth (she has both genders)

Anyway, in the course of our discussion, it was revealed that her IUD had fallen out for sometime, and she wasn't aware, so she continued having sex with her husband, assuming she was protected all these while. It wasn't until the stuff came out while she was using the toilet (hence the topic), that she realized she hadn't been protected. At least, let's thank God it didn't get stuck in her system and cause infections or some other serious internal problems for her.

As at the time she came for consultation, she was waiting for her period, and her hCG level couldn't have been high enough to give a definitive pregnancy test result.

Anyway, some days later, she told me she was pregnant!

The most complex project I have undertaken!

Yaayy! I can't keep calm!!! The third edition of Rhyme and Reason, which we have tagged Eversion is here. Last year's own, Excision is the dopest event I've attended, and I say so, not because it is my event, but because it is true.

I believe, by the grace of God, that Nigeria is about to experience something like it has never before experienced. This is because Eversion will be the first Rap and Spoken Word Musical in Nigeria. Just think about being on broadway, watching Phantom of the Opera, but instead of the dialogue to be in music and normal speech, it is Rap and Spoken Word instead. The whole production started in January, and a lot of work has gone into it.

This is by far, the most complex project I have undertaken. From sourcing for sponsors, to running a very large organising team (the best ever). As you can tell, it is one storyline, typical of a musical. Eversion focuses on child sexual abuse in the family, which is something that's very rampant, but very hush hush (yes, it is PG13).

It is happening at The Lekki Coliseum next Saturday, 15th July, 2017, and I hope to see you all there.

Here's the trailer below. I just couldn't keep you away from it's dopeness

Lagos! Are you ready?! Rhyme and Reason 2017 presents #Eversion A Spoken Word and Rap Musical Show featuring @wordsbyezekiel, @itsgamie, @ami_thesign, @daboomsha and many more artists! Venue: The Lekki Coliseum Date: July 15, 2017 Two shows 3pm - 5pm 6pm - 8pm Tickets: Students - 2,000 Regular - 5,000 VIP - 10,000 Get your tickets online by clicking on the link in our bio!!! #Eversion #RnR2017 #RhymeAndReason #Rap #SpokenWord #Music #Anticipate #Poets #Rappers You don't want to miss it!

A post shared by Rhyme And Reason (@rhymeandreason_ng) on Jun 22, 2017 at 8:07am PDT

Some pictures of our boot camp

The film director and his crew

Some of the back up singers

Some of the rappers

Some of the dancers

Some of the instrumentalists

As you can tell, it is quite a robust production, but I won't be able to let the main cat out of the bag.

In order not to make this post a very long one, I will stop here, and end by giving us a list of where we can get tickets for now.

1. All Filmhouse cinema (IMAX) outlets in Lagos

• Filmhouse Surulere, Leisure Mall, Adeniran Sreet, Surulere, Lagos
• The Rock Drive Off Bisola Durosinmi Etti Drive Lekki Phase 1

2. Terra Kulture (the bookshop)
Plot 1376, Tiamiyu Savage, Off Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos

3. The following Tastee Fried Chicken Outlets

• TFC Head Office, Plot 1672, Oyin jolayemi Street, VI
• 106, Awolowo Road, Oando Filling Station, Ikoyi 
• Oando Fuel Station, Chisco Bus Stop, Ikate, Lekki  
• 49C, Marina, Lagos
• 21, Opebi Road, Ikeja, Lagos
• 22 Road,2nd Avenue,Festac Town
• 16, Catholic Mission Street, Opposite City Hall, Lagos Island

4. Lekki pickup zone
Lush Mall. 26a, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Lagos.

5. University of Lagos
Call Mayowa on 08121582434

6. Ariiya Tickets
https://www.ariiyatickets.com/new/event-detail.php?eid=366

7. Spiricoco
https://spiricoco.com/events/gig/rhyme-and-reason-the-eversion/

8. We also deliver tickets to your doorstep in Lagos (not outskirts). Delivery is free!
For more information on ticket purchase, please call 07061141501

See you all there next Saturday. When you see me, make sure you shout my name, so I can meet you up. :)

I almost married the wrong person

As young adults, we are most probably familiar with the fact that many disappointments are blessings in disguise. Yesterday, an incident flashed through my mind that made me remember this, and just smile.

Two Decembers ago, when I had accepted that I wasn’t being as sociable as I should be, thereby making me open to matchmaking as a means of making up for the resulting consequences of my ‘socialless’ life, my friend invited me to go with her siblings and their friends for paint balling.

I was friends with her siblings too, so it wasn’t a strange gathering for me. Her brother, who was the main organiser brought some of his friends, who also brought their friends, siblings, in-laws, etc. It was basically a cool gathering of working class adults who wanted to have fun in a sane atmosphere… and a place where you should be able to meet one or two eligible bachelors, lol.

We got there, settled down, and I noticed one of his friends was looking at me from time to time. Bad news was that he brought a girl to the gathering. The boy was what you would call ‘very finnnnneeeee’ – Tall, not really dark, and very handsome. The girl was mixed race, and extremely beautiful. However, she scowled throughout the duration of the event. She stayed alone, and didn’t talk to a single soul. From time to time, this guy would go to sit with her, say some words to her, just to make conversation, and she would scowl even more. We didn’t know the exact relationship between them.

Anyway, the paint balling was over, we had snacks, and left. When she dropped me at home, she suggested that she could hook me up with the guy in question (who is actually her childhood friend). I told her I noticed the guy looked at me from time to time. We talked about the mixed race girl, and laughed at her terrible attitude.

My friend told me about the guy, and his family. I did my own little research on the guy on social media, and he seemed like someone I would like to know more, and date – cool headed, good family, Christian, calm, etc.

Two weeks later, my friend gave me feedback about the situation. Mr Man was really serious about Miss Mixed Race, and was about to take it to the next level with her. So, nothing for me, sorry. To say that I was pained was an understatement.

Exactly a year later, I was at a hotel, taking my professional engagement pictures. We moved to the lounge for more picture taking. There was a guy sitting there, who we had to beg to change his position, so we could get an angle we were aiming for in the picture. He gladly obliged.

It was then I noticed his trousers, and then his face. It was the same trousers he wore when I met him. There were some features that made it unique, which made it easy for me to recognise it anywhere. I looked at him again, and then called him by name.

I asked if he remembered me, and he said I was familiar. It was really strange, with me all in my engagement attire, chatting up this guy looking casual like he was just coming from the gym. I reminded him of who I was, and how and where we met. He then asked what was exactly was happening, why I was all dressed up, and taking pictures. It seemed like the most stupid question ever to me. Wasn’t it obvious? I told him I was getting married, and just taking pictures.

The guy was somewhere beside me in this picture

I told my friend about the encounter. I then found out that it never worked between him and the mixed race lady (big surprise?), and he could be slow and sluggish at times… and basically hadn’t made much of a progress in the space of that one year when I met him, and when I met him again.

I later pondered on this ‘coincidence’, how on December 2015, I meet a guy whom if I had been given the chance, I would have jumped ship with, and November 2016, while getting married, I see, basically doing nothing. So if I had gotten my wish then, I probably would have jumped in and then out, and wouldn’t have met the guy I eventually got married to.

I personally think that second meeting wasn’t a coincidence. It was just God’s way of reminding me/us that sometimes, when we don’t get that thing that we think is good for us, it is because there’s something better awaiting us, and our ‘wish’ was never in God’s plan for us in the first place.

What do you think about this? Has something like this ever happened to you… you missing out on something, only to find out it was a blessing in disguise?

My Husband stopped me from working!

It's rainy season here in Lagos Nigeria, and the rains have been heavy in the past few days. Unfortunately, I now live in an area where when the sky cries, the whole estate feels it because the topology of this 'high brow' estate doesn't really make sense when it comes to properly draining off rain water.

So basically, when the rains are very very very heavy, just forget about going out, at least through the estate's main gate. Not even a very high SUV can pass, talk less of tiny cars like mine. There's one tiny back end road that they open in times like this, but it takes about one hour to get out of this estate, using that road, and it is so bad that it spoils cars, plus the final exit is not even close to the estate at all. What many people do is just to stay and work from home in these situations, or they find a way to walk on water like peter, or get their cars to swim in waterlogged bad roads.

Source

Anyway, last week, one of these very very very heavy downpours happened, and we were all 'trapped' in the closet estate.

See how happy I am. How do you like me now?

Many times, I feel there's something wrong with me because I don't agree with the trend of everyone going to Facebook to announce to the whole world, how they have the best husband in the world.

A lady comes to celebrate her husband on Social Media (addressing him directly). An example is "Akanni, ever since you made me your wife, my life has never remained the same." yet the note is made public to us all, and the said husband does not even have a Facebook account.

Am I saying it is wrong to give these kinds of affirming statements to your spouse?

Current Relationship Status: It's Complicated

I have always had a love-hate relationship with Social Media, going off social media for long stretches at a time, and then suddenly reappearing to flaunt all my works. In the industries where I play, one has to know how to utilise social media well, in order to stay relevant. I really wish this were not so because there are many times one doesn't just want to share.

This year, it has been a serious HATE relationship for me. I first went of Instagram, and then went off Facebook. Me and Twitter have never really hit it off before, so that one didn't count in the equation. Let's just say Social Media has been irritating me a lot.

To be honest, even though Social Media can be annoying at times, the problem this time around is not Social Media, it is ME. I've been operating under a haze of

Cleaning up a man for Marriage's sake

Thanks to everyone who wished me well in my last post. I am very fine now, and to the cheeky comments, I laff at all of you o.

Two weeks ago, I was with a colleague of 42 years old, happily married with kids. She was talking about how some of our single colleagues of the same age can become married.

Her take is that older successful single women should take a guy who is not considered to be in their social class, financially and other ways, tush the guy up, and marry him. I was extremely shocked that she said this because I never knew people still thought in that light. I know this was a common phenomenon about 10-20 years ago, but I wouldn't imagine that it still happens rampantly.

I am, and have always been an advocate of

My Scary Hospital Experience

Two weeks ago, I didn't blog. I was ill, and admitted in the hospital. If you know me well, you will know this is strange for me. I can't remember ever being admitted into a hospital or ever taking drip in my entire life (although my mum told me this happened when I had measles at about 2 years old).

So here I was in a very unfamiliar territory. I had been rushed to the hospital the night before, and they had asked that I be admitted, but I had begged my husband to

Is Marriage worth waiting for?

I always wanted to get married early in life (at age 24) but I didn't. My experience taught that people who get married earlier than others are not necessarily better in character, more beautiful or better placed. They are just more fortunate, that is if you count marriage as good fortune.

The truth is that people of all ages get married everyday but sometimes it can be painful when as a 30 year old, you get your third heart break in the year and your 23 year old gets engaged and asks you to buy her Aso Ebi. You begin to wonder why especially since you know her boyfriend of two years and you can attest to the fact that he's a really great guy.

What is worse than that though is when you hear about your 37 year old friend who is getting a divorce but she only married a year and half ago, and all you do is scream "after waiting for so long?"

Take these three examples

How to tell if He loves you

There's a quote formed by a friend of mine. It helped me in my single days and has continued to shed light on so many things that crop up in boy-girl relationships up till today
In as much as I have tried to argue with this quote in my mind, time and time again, it keeps proving itself true. This has made me realise the more that no matter how hard we try, the truth will always prove itself right.

The quote says

If he loves you, you will know, if he doesn't, you will be confused 

As indirectly proportional as this quote is, it gives a simple formulaic solution to many issues that keeps single ladies awake at night especially when they are in rendezvous with a guy whose intentions they aren't sure of

I have a friend, who we can call Titi. Titi is a matured single lady who in my opinion is an awesome gift to any man, but she doesn't have a rested mind at the moment and is really eager to meet a guy who really loves her and she loves in return. So whenever Titi meets a guy who shows the slightest bit of interest in being her friend and it seems he also fits into her ideals of a husband material, she starts calculating in her head, and works herself up so much that she reads meaning into everything the guy does. Titi will call me, and talk, talk, talk about this guy who may or may not be interested in her, and become even more confused.

And here's what I always tell her. If he has not come out to clearly express his interest in a relationship, don't let yourself be led on. I was particularly unhappy with the way she allowed a certain guy treat her for about 6 months, leading her on, doting on her one week and ignoring her the next, excusing it with trust issues he suffered from his past relationship. She became so emotionally attached to this guy that it was so pathetic. One minute, she's all giggly because he called to apologise for his actions and they are friends again, and the next, she's so devastated because he hasn't picked her calls for two weeks

Both of us will be gisting, and right in my presence, she'll be calling him, unaware of what she was even doing, and her calls will go unanswered. Whenever her interest wants to wane a bit, he'll be back

It was like he had a leash around her neck, and he was just jerking her in whatever direction he pleased. After a while, I never wanted to hear his name again. I mean, she was an emotional wreck the entire time wondering whether he loved her or not. She was desperate for him, and he knew it so he fed on it, even though nothing was going to come out of it eventually. It was a miracle when she got out of that cycle.

After that episode, she has gotten herself into one or two similar cycles.

And each time I tell her, this thing is not hard as you are making it seem. Guys are not that confused at all. If a guy really wants you, he will chase you with all he has until he gets you. You don't need to scheme, calculate or manipulate him into a relationship. If he's sure about you, he will come straight for you.  We are not talking about guys in their mid-twenties who are not ready to settle down yet. Guys in their mid-thirties upwards (not playboys) are generally direct in their approach and don't have time for long winding courtships that lead nowhere

I told her, you toil too much. When your husband comes, you won't need to toil at all.  Everything will fall into place

So here I am, encouraging any single lady out there (no matter your age) that if a guy is confusing you right now about whether he loves you or not, please don't invest yourself emotionally in that encounter. The best you can do is be friends, with absolutely no expectations of nothing more. Whatever later comes out of it, it’s most probably for the best.

If you are in a relationship that has not been defined (I.e. You don't know if you are friends or boyfriend/girlfriend but you both have feeling for each other), that one is a different case, and easy to solve. Just ask the "what are we" question.

I hope this post has been useful to someone out that. Just remember

If he loves you, you will know, if he doesn't, you will be confused

The real Lucky Ones

This is just a very short rant about how I currently feel



I am of the opinion that those born in the 1800s and early 1900s and lived a full good useful life, then died are the luckiest of all men

They were part of the great developmental era, that have led to the modern day inventions we see today and they are not alive to see the terrible decay the world has fallen into

Many times I envy them, and wish I could

Introducing The Easy Way to Keeping Fit

The highly anticipated health and fitness book by Jane Bernard, The Easy Way to Keeping Fit is finally here. A compendium of her extensive training and robust experience, Jane Bernard shares to readers “The Easy Way to Keeping Fit” (published by AuthorHouse UK).

The Easy Way to Keeping Fit is presented in an easily digestible yet succinct manner, aiming to address those concerns that promote the propagation of the sedentary lifestyle.

The Easy Way to Keeping Fit is an insightful book created to inspire and educate people on the need to stay healthy and fit, while equipping them on the best ways of drawing up smart goals and achieving the set out goals. It has different sections, aimed at targeting different concerns including; losing weight, gaining weight, getting results, as well as a chapter dedicated to answering those questions that are predominantly misconstrued, among others.

Here are a few excerpts from the book:

A Menace no one is Immune from

Ok, so I had a long bout of illness recently, and lost a lot of energy. Along with my illness came self-pity because I couldn’t function as effectively and efficiently as I used to. My production level went down to almost, and I was depressed a lot of times. Nothing depresses me like not being able to achieve the goal I set for myself.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my motivation level went down to -50. I mean, I lost every drive and motivation within me, that I couldn’t even believe it. Even the things I should normally do, I didn’t do, cos I did not have the will to do.

Yesterday, my mum sent a picture of an SUV on third mainland bridge. I don’t know if you got it. People gathered round the car, just spectating. The owner of the SUV had just gotten down from the car, and jumped into the lagoon.

JUST LIKE THAT

I was shocked. That could easily have been me. I mean, don’t we all have problems? And here I was, wallowing in self-pity, losing the will to move on, just because I lacked enough energy to walk up the stairs, and somebody has problems large enough to warrant suicide, by his/her own justification.
When we are in the heat of our bad situations, it’s always hard to believe that it will pass, especially in that moment of fire, but

IT WILL PASS

Just remember, no matter how bad the situation is, it could always be worse, so thank God for what it is now, though that might be difficult.

My human temperament is Choleric and Melancholy, so it’s always easy for me to slip into self-pity and depression when things don’t go the way I plan, but thank God for His Spirit, who brings a different perspective, and keeps away suicidal thoughts.

Yesterday’s incident helped me remember that even though I am not happy with the way things are going, life will become better for me soon, and park my car on third mainland bridge, and jump off.

Have you ever had to deal with suicidal thoughts? How were you able to handle it?

Top 3 Comments I get as a Newlywed

As a newlywed, when people greet you, it is mostly in reference to your marriage. It is as if the whole world suddenly forgets that there are other existent parts of your life apart from being married. After a while, you begin to wonder when you stop becoming a newly wed in the eyes of people.

Most of these greetigs/comments are not at all offensive to me. I just find the amusing most times. In no particular order, these are the three most common greetings I get

1. How is married life? As a newlywed, nobody asks you how is work, how is your health, how is business, or even how are you doing? It is How is married life? If you are not careful, you might even lose yourself and begin to derive your identity from your new status because that's all people now ask about you.

2. Marriage is sweet abi? Honestly, when people ask this, I don't know what exactly they have in mind. The struggles I had as an individual before marriage are

What my Top 10 blog post says about Blog reading culture

I have been blogging consistently for a little over 8 years, and I have written all kinds of post. I decided to analyse my most popular posts, and see what was unique about them.

1.TGIFridays Experience and 100th Post Giveaway

This is my highest viewed post, with a traffic of…, which is not surprising. From the day I put up this post in 2011, it has been skyrocketing in views. I knew nothing about blog traffics when I wrote about my experience at TGIFridays. I definitely was not looking for views 5 years later. But this tells us that when you write about a popular world-class brand, you are sure to keep gathering views for years and years to come

2. One more Blog Post

You would thing my second highest viewed post has nothing special in its title, but the word “blog post” is a very key word in the SEO world. Then add a good content underneath, you become king. This post is less than 2 years old, yet it made the second spot in my top 10. Lesson, SEO works

3. I want to burst some bloggers' bubbles

This post has two things going on for it when it comes to traffic. Firstly, it reeks of gossip (it is actually a blogville community gossip), and secondly, it has the keyword “blogger”. It seems anything that has the words, blog, blog post, bloggers, how to blog, etc. is always a winner every time.

4. Wordpressers speak back: Nigerian Blogger users are ignorant, backward, etc

I wrote this post during the wordpress vs blogger fracas, which honestly I caused, albeit unintentionally. It turned out to be a very friendly war between wordpressers and bloggers, when the community was still strong. This post made it for two reasons, it is a warzone post, it has the word Nigerian bloggers, and it makes use of a condemning statement about a country, which is not the goal of the post.

5. "I have decided to stop attending church!"

Anything about church condemnation, pastor criticism, how a popular televangelist molested people, sells. These kinds of gossip posts attracts traffic like mad. This post was publicised on all my platfoms, and many people saw me as church girl, also being a teen’s teacher in church. So imagine me going public with my intention to stop attending church. It’s either people wanted to know why or they just wanted to join me in stoning the church, lol.

6. The “It is well” generation.

I don’t think the title made this one popular at all. Firstly, it was publicised on all my platforms, which really doesn’t matter because many other posts were publicised on my platforms too. But this particular post had many keyword in the content itself.  When you read it, you would see controversial words like Femi Otedola,  Farouk Lawan , 170 million Nigerians, Shunemite woman, Horatio Gates Spafford, Chibok Girls, Boko Haram, Elisha, etc. I might be wrong though.  Maybe the word “It is well” is a keyword. All I can say is that it is one of my most popular posts

7. How I hustled to graduate from University
Again… gossip sells. It is of the opinions that I did really well in university, so when a post title begins to claim the reverse, people want to know (things about your personal life they shouldn’t ordinarily know). Just do a post about how you slept with 5 men in 2 months, and see what happens, lol.

8. How I see Nigerian Blogsville (2) – The two clans... not cliques

This holds the same point as number 4. Exactly the same points

9. Almighty's Formula by Atilola Moronfolu

The keyword made this post great. Almighty Formula is a very popular topic in mathematics that can solve any quadratic equation other methods can’t solve. When people google it, they are sometimes led to my post, which talks about another type of Almighty Formula

10. Close Shaves Series – part 4 : The AUR Story

At first glance, there’s nothing unique about this post. But I remember that when I was publicising it on my platforms, the caption was “how I opened my legs for a man”. Just like number 5 post, many people know I don’t believe and engage in premarital sex, and here I am, opening my legs for a man? What is happening here? Again, gossip! (people want to know what they shouldn’t ordinarily know).

So the summary of what I have learnt from my Top 10 posts when it comes reading culture, and this is something you can use if you are interested in growing your blog traffic
1. Writing about big brands attracts traffic
2. All that SEO and Keyword life, they work big time
3. People love gossip. People want to know what they shouldn’t ordinarily know, and if you can keep feeding their desires, they’ll keep coming back for more.

Lastly, let me add that I don’t write for traffic. I’m more about content. If the content is right, people will eventually come. I do not strategically position myself to increase traffic by inputing keywords, spreading gossips, etc. I just write, and I just want people to read. I implore you all to read these top 10 posts, I can assure you that you will enjoy them.

Five things to do when life begins to overwhelm you

Being a driven person who takes life more serious than she takes it easy, I have been overwhelmed by life more times than I would like to be. My recent experience with this made me take a hard look at my situation, and say some truths to myself. I realised that I was not the only one who needed to hear these truths because there are so many people going through similar things. So I have decided to share these tips to help everyone, apart from obvious things to do like 'rest' and 'pray', cos really, we are all going to be overhwelmed at some point in our lives, so we can learn from this.

1. Remind yourself that life is mostly vanity

Some of us are naturally prone to taking life too serious (I’m the number one culprit here). While we need to approach life’s assignments with determination and focus, always remember that there’s a place for balance. And in the end, we take nothing six feet below. Only our legacy and impact in the lives of others will count.

2. Learn to push back 

Say you have 30 tasks to complete in a week, and you humanly speaking, you can only finish 7, ask yourself

How to switch from Old time Blogger to Modern day Blogger

Hello everyone - oldtime bloggers, new bloggers and non-bloggers. I want to talk about something that many bloggers can relate to, and has taken the blogging world by storm

There has been a trend going on for the past three years - old bloggers struggling to keep on blogging, with some eventually giving up, new bloggers coming up, and taking over by storm.

I have been blogging CONSISTENTLY for 8 years, and some things have happened in the course of those years.

Blogging is not what it used to be. Old bloggers  ran a close knit operation. They had a community called blogsville, cos it was like a real village, only that it was online. They were passionate about one another, competing to be the first person to comment on one another's blogs. That was the era on Nigerian Blog Awards (a feat that is getting more and more difficult to pull due to the dynamism of social media). Being a blogger was as easy as ABC. As long as you had content (mostly personal), and you had internet, you were good to go. There was no need for aesthetics or world-class photography. Non bloggers were always jealous, and always stood outside, looking in, praying they could join this virtual blogsville. New joiners praised God for every new comment they got.

Then came blog enemies like twitter. It competed for the attention of bloggers, some falling off the wagon, while some others juggling between both, never for once realising that they served two totally different purposes.

During this period,

Healthy Eating: How to Eliminate Seasoning Cubes from your Diet

In my journey to healthy eating, I have had to eliminate somethings, by choice and by compulsion. You have read about how I have a long list of items my body rejected over time. Read it here again.

I like good food, and I am of the opinion that eating healthy doesn't have to be the same as eating boring, which is the misconception many people have. Instead of elimination, I always prefer replacement.

For example, I will not eliminate food like white rice, bread, cake, pasta, etc., even though they are not good for us. I have successfully replaced these foods with brown rice, brown bread, whole wheat spaghetti, whole wheat pasta, barley, whole wheat flour for pancakes, etc. The truth is that whole wheat flour doesn't taste differently from processed flour, apart from the fact that it's doesn't stick together as much.

Also, instead of eliminating food like fried plantain, fried chicken, etc, I have replaced them with plantain baked with olive oil, baked chicken, etc. The taste is exactly the same.

These things I did, and more to come, has made my food life still interesting, but are far healthier options for me.

For almost 2 years, I have been using My Fitness Pal to count my calories and sync with my Garmin app. The thing about these apps is that you begin to see data of where you are going wrong (or right) in your diet. In fact, you might think you are eating really healthy, but with more information, you will know there are harmful eating habits you need to stop.

First, we all know that the major culprit of obesity is

Doing business is risky, and other random thoughts

Hello everyone, how are we all doing? It's been long I did a set of random posts, and I feel like doing one now. So let's go


I am extremely tired. From Monday till Saturday last week, I was on my feet from morning till night (from 11-12 hours everyday). This week doesn't seem like it will be any different. How does one achieve balance, cos right now, so many parts of my life are out of tune at the moment. By the grace of God, things will get better in a couple of weeks.

I really need a camera. Who loves me, and is willing to get me one? I need it for a banging blog (why rebrand when you are not ready to upload high quality pictures?), I need it for my business (product upload, development, etc), I need it to shoot videos (my spoken word career needs a new life), and so many more reasons. Do I need to tell you more? Oya please get me a camera. I promise to love you forever if you do.

How powerful is African Jazz, really?

Hi everyone? How's life going with all of us? Before we go into today's post, I would like to know what you think about the new look of my blog. Yay or nay? I wanted a whole new look. I felt I had outgrown the straight-faced, very serious Atilola. I wanted to change my brand and aura to something my soothing, welcoming, and flowery hence the smiling pic on the side (I have always preferred my straight-face picture to smiling ones). Anyway, do you think the blog picture does justice to the intent?

So what is your opinion about Jazz? For those of us who might be new to this, I am not talking of Jazz music but Black African Power that is attributed to smaller deities and African gods. I'm sure every African knows these powers exist and are real. So the question here is do you believe in their efficacy?

During our honeymoon in Gambia, we visited to Kachikali Museum, and saw several charms, to be used for different purposes. Although I feel Gambian jazz is a learner where ancient Nigerian Babalowos are (which is understandable, because it is a very small country, it just an experience standing face to face with charms and amulets. See for yourself below.

Destination Wedding Blues - Famzing with Crocodiles and Horses

Hello dears, how is 2017 treating you all so far, and we are all keeping our heads up at the moment.

Confession: I am tired of this wedding series, as I have moved far far away from the wedding phase of my life.

So I will just try to lump everything left in one single post, and resume regular blogging next week.

The next and final day for the wedding retreat was the tour. My newlywed husband said he wasn't going, so I didn't go also. I had to handle logistics of changing rooms from where we wear previously staying to a bigger room, where we would stay together, and spend our honeymoon. So I had to make sure we had a room suited to our taste, then pack luggage, etc.

That night, about 12 midnight, our guests said goodbye to us, and headed back for Nigeria, while we were left alone to face a whole new world we have never experienced.

Destination Wedding Blues - Day 2: Getting the MRS degree

My wedding day started as an ordinary but exciting day. My plan was to have breakfast, and then have my hair styled. By the time I was having breakfast, my pastor's wife 'A', looked at my nails and asked what I was doing to it. I said 'nothing', so she dragged me off to do a manicure and pedicure. Though I didn't fix my nails because it's something I have never done, I got it painted in the french tips style.

This unplanned manicure and pedicure session set me 2 hours behind time. By the time I was ready to take my bath and make my hair, it was already noon, and we were supposed to start taking professional pictures by 4.00pm, since the wedding was to start by 6.00pm.

I wrote my vows during the manicure session (covers face). Let's just say after we read our vows that evening, I wanted to cover my eyes in shame, cos I scored like 2% and by husband (who has been writing the vows for a couple of months) scored like 110%. I also couldn't join the choreography rehearsals that morning

Most of our guests... gathering to pray and rehearse on
the morning of the wedding day

Anyway we rushed off to do my hair, and makeup. We couldn't be ready by 4.00pm, but we were set by around past 5.00pm.

We finally started the photography session, which was supposed to be at the beach, poolside, and garden. As a group, we could only do beach. But we as a couple also did poolside, and just a little garden.