The Disturbing trend of Baby Skin-Bleaching



There is a disturbing trend going on amongst new mothers in Nigeria, and it emanated from the glorification of light skin. It comes from the fact that many people elevate people will light skin over those with darker skin. It has always been an issue amongst black African adults, but many of us never guessed that it would be such a cancer that would permeate into the choices we make when we raise our children.

As a mother to a fairly light skinned baby, you get to hear comments like "Oh wow, he’s light. That's nice." To be honest, that is not an issue for me. The issue is when people start to compare their babies’ skins, with inference that the lighter the baby, the more beautiful.

This menace has gotten so bad that mothers are toning bleaching their babies’ skin. Oh yes. We now lie to ourselves saying things like “we are maintaining the colour of the baby’s skin. We don’t want the baby to lose the light skin, and be darker.” But who really are we kidding?

Firstly, if the baby is truly light, why does the skin colour need to be maintained? We know that to maintain the shine and true tone of a skin, what you need is to bathe the baby well, oil well, or moiturise well. A dash of Shea butter here, A teaspoon of Coconut oil there, and you will be maintaining the skin colour well. But when we begin to act like science students, using our innocent babies’ skins for experiment, mixing shea butter with Funbact-A, we are no more “maintaining” jack. Some mothers even mix the shea butter with other bleaching ingredients, while others outrightly use “toning” serums and bleaching creams. What is wrong with us?

My motivation for adopting a Healthy Lifestyle

Hello people. Like I mentioned in my last week's post, I will be talking about why I chose to intentionally adopt a healthy lifestyle, even though it is not the default mode. Long before the fit-fam thing became a craze, thanks to social media, I have always been mindful of my diet. You can read more about it here

For me, it was never about being skinny or losing weight. I have always been petite, and wasn't interested in losing further weight, lest my sexy hips disappeared, lol. In fact, it was the fear of losing weight that delayed me from starting to work out on time, till I gained more knowledge about how to have a healthy work out lifestyle and not lose weight, and started working out 4 years ago.

1. I eat healthy because of my digestive system

As at 2009, my body stopped being compatible with the regular Nigerian carb kind of life. So if I eat bread in the morning, rice in the afternoon or evening (I can't eat 3 square meals), and continue with this kind of life, I'm asking for trouble with my digestive system. My body started being on heavy demand for fibre. By 2010, I had learnt my lesson over and over again that I became a chronic vegetable soup consumer. It was basically small rice, plenty veggies for me. So even if I didn't want to be fit, my body required it from me

Later, my body rejected milk and dairy, cruciferous vegetables, and then some other stuff. The whole story is here.

2. The idea of being sick makes me sick

Intentional Post-Natal Weight Maintenance

It’s official. I am in another phase of my life, and I have admitted it. *covers face*

This is evidenced by the fact that for the first time in my life, I am intentionally going on a diet. I’ve always been a stickler for eating healthy, and have always maintained a good figure and body weight. My stomach was the only thing that grew big when I was pregnant, apart from the time I had water retention issues after the times I got back from the hospital. The saga forced me to increase my intake of fruits and water.

I wasn’t well informed about the things that could happen to a woman’s appetite while she’s breastfeeding. I began to surprise myself when I started craving for sweet and creamy things. I researched the possible reasons, and discovered that it is a pretty normal occurrence in breastfeeding women. I began to be more conscious from then on, and then my body started holding on to water weight. Apparently, I am supposed to wait till I completely wean my child from  breastfeeding until the last water weight drops.

Even though I am not fat, and my wardrobe didn’t change, I am not currently at my pre-pregnancy weight (51kg). I believe that will happen when I completely wean (I just stopped exclusive breastfeeding yesterday). I don't really take a lot of pictures but I was able to find a picture of me wearing my court wedding dress two months ago. And this is how childbirth and breastfeeding has affected me.

Third part interference in Marriages... and other STRONG nmatters


Hi everyone. Hope we are all doing great, and enjoying our Easter Break? Did I abscond from the blog? No! Never! I can’t even try it, lol. Happy Easter to everyone reading this blog. I hope you are enjoying your long break. So with the recent developments around me, a lot of things have been on my mind, and I would like you guys to weigh in on some of them.

I remember vividly sometime in the year 2012, former president Goodluck Jonathan came to Lagos. I was on my way back home from work when I was stopped at the end of third mainland bridge. It was so painful because I was just about to pass when we were all stopped. No one gave us any reasons. I was just looking at the clear empty road ahead of me yet I couldn't go. We were made to wait for over 1 hour before we could pass. You know the funniest thing? The president did not even pass our road. He passed the other side of the bridge, the one facing the island. So why on earth were we who had nothing to do with his route stopped? I was so pissed with that government that I vowed to never vote for them even though I never did before. So you can imagine last week when the whole Lagos was in a chaos because of a presidential visit. I wondered why we operate an oppressive government. Were those complicated logistics really necessary? Were there truly no other ways the president could have come into town with other citizens getting frustrated? Selah

I'm currently wondering when it's time to start being strict and stern with a child.

Putting it bluntly, you are a LIAR!

Hello beautiful people. I am so sorry for semi-abandoning this for over 2 weeks, once again. My life is even more fast-paced than it used to be cos I have so much more balls to juggle, but lai lai, we ain't backing down. We going nowhere babyyyyyy.

I had the privilege of performing a brand new spoken word piece for the International Women's Day at the Nigerian Stock Exchange on March 8, 2018. Thank God for His mercies cos He literally had mercy on me. The production I was doing was so overwhelming that it was so difficult writing a new technical piece in rehearsing in a matter of days. I am waiting for the video, so I can post it up.

My second production of Eversion by Rhyme and Reason is over. Gosshhh, it was so demanding that I get to ask myself sometimes "who sent me message?" In my next life, I will run away from the burdens of passion and dream. Lemme just live an ordinary life for once, lol. All in all, I thank God for the success of the production... which was almost 100% if I say so myself.

That being said, please don't say I have come again o... but I don't know why this irks me continuously. People lying about their lives on social media. Very few times, it is an outright lie, but most times, they strategically post things about themselves to distort their reality, in order for everyone to feel they are in a place where they are not really. And I am not talking about glamour or riches here. I am talking about everyday things. In cases like this, it is only people who know them personally that can tell that it's all crap.

What happens when Love and Romance gets perverted?

Two weeks! My longest hiatus from this blog in a long time. It's been mad crazy... my schedule, I mean. I have had some setbacks in my factory, which resulted to loss of products, meaning what of money and manpower hours.

I'm still waiting for 2018 to show me the goodies it has in stock for me because every opportunity I have availed myself to so far didn't yield, but I am not beating myself up for that.

My first production for the year is happening this week, and that has taking everything from me, money, rest, mental energy, physical energy, quality time with family, etc.

It is happening, starting from this weekend, till next weekend. Three days and two shows. I implore you guys to all turn out for me and my team. I can assure you, you haven't seen anything like what we put together before. It is not hype, it's just that there's no way I can explain it until you see it yourself.

It's very similar to Hamilton, if you know Hamilton, or have watched it. It is called Eversion! We did it last year, and are doing it again this year, this time, bigger, we hope. I hope to see you there on one of the days. Yes, I will rapping on stage as one of the casts. And yes, I am the producer.

You can get your tickets on Ariiya Tickets here or on Spiricoco here.





Five selfish traits babies reveal in humans


Before I had a baby, I was never really a fan of babies, and have never really observed how grown up adults react to babies, apart from saying they are so cute, and wanting to carry or play with them. As for me, I just congratulate you, and walk away. When I saw a baby, I didn’t see a human being, I just saw a time-guzzling creature with limbs, and time was a commodity I never had to give to a creature whose communication I couldn’t grasp, lol. The only baby I ever cared for was the last born of my family.

Of course, that changed when I got pregnant. I began to take interest in the biology of creating a new human being, and when my baby arrived, I saw things from a totally different light. More importantly, I began to observe the way adults behave with babies, and handle baby issues. I found it amusing the things a new baby in a family can cause. Most importantly, I observed how self-serving adults could be when it comes to baby matters, and here are some.

1. Everyone wants the baby to look like them
The argument about who the baby looks like is always the most common. You start hearing things like he has my grandmother’s nose to he has my uncle in-law’s toe nails. Every family member desperately wants the baby to look like them or someone in their family, such that they share the baby’s body parts into pieces and attribute different parts to different family members. The worst case is when couples fight because

The Reality (or Myth) of a Well-Balanced Woman



Image result for multitasking woman
Source

Before I got married, and later had a child, I constantly heard about how a woman could not successfully balance the different aspects of her life, i.e. her career role, motherly role, wifely role, ministry role (if she is has one). It is said that at every point in time, at least, one aspect has to suffer for others to succeed.

I have listened to several views on this, especially with the rise of several interpretations of feminism. Some say it is possible, while others say it isn’t. Some ask how come men can do it, while women can’t. Some say it is possible, but very difficult, and a lot of sacrifices will have to be made.

After deliberating on this for a very long time, I came to my own conclusion last year, after having an eye-opening discussion with a friend. And this is it. Whenever there are varying viewpoints and philosophies flying around concerning a particular subject, that is when it is time for you to shut all external chaos and noise, and look for the truth. So I asked myself what God said concerning this issue. Is there anything in the word of God that says I can't have it all, and be a totally balanced woman? Yes, I know sacrifices will have to be made, but it is not an impossibility.

Most of the women mentioned in the Bible were not housewives. They were working women, and as far as was portrayed, well balanced women.  So why would I choose to accept man’s philosophy when God hasn't said so. We know that many people's opinions about this are based on the experiences that they and many other women have had. They said, it's the reality of the society we live in. But we also know that reality is relative. Your reality is not my reality

Last week was quite tight for me. By weekend, I found myself having to manage several fronts, and ensuring

If these people can do it, what is your excuse?

Hello everyone. How are we all doing? I’m very happy that the pregnancy series is over. I did not want my blog to become a woman blog, pregnancy blog or mummy blog. I have been trying to be very careful about this because it sometimes seems automatic for a blogger’s new reality to take over the content of their blog, especially when it is a lifestyle blog.

This week’s post is quite brief. I want to talk about the recent trend of people spamming blog comments section with talks of herbalists and hex men helping them get their husbands back or in extreme cases, killing someone like the screenshot below.


I've always thought that there's no way on earth that someone will fall for this, and patronize such people. But then again, if their marketing strategy wasn't working, and no one was patronizing them, they would have stopped this gimmick a long time ago. You might have come across them on your blog if you are also a blogger

Gone are the days when you had to enter one bush to go and look for one 'baba' to do one jazz or the other for you. You can find them right here online, no more traveling to a remote village. One would think that the advent of technology would make us wiser, and send these people into extinction, but no, they wax stronger daily and now have websites and Facebook pages.

I think the several native doctor comment on the blogosphere is by the same person though, just that the person keeps using different profiles and email addresses all the time. Some people have time sha.


Are you aware of anyone who has fallen for these kinds of people? How did it turn out in the end?

So the real question here is what is stopping you? If jazz men, whether real or fake, are innovating, and changing the the demand of the recent times, what is your excuse? Some of us think that our trade is not marketable online, or we have just plainly refused to adapt, but I say if the Babalawos can do it, then you shouldn't be dulling.

Don't Call me Mama (11) - Let's get real: Your child is not your achievement

This week officially marks the end of this series. If this were a book, then this week's edition is the epilogue which is always as important as the book.

After I had my baby, I debated whether I should tell the world I was now a mother, considering the fact that I never even told anyone I was pregnant neither did I take a picture of me being pregnant. Not only did I blog about having a baby, I went into details about how it went down. Sharing things like this puts you in a vulnerable position, where people can attack you, but in the end, I'm glad I did. Even if it just proved to me that the demanding motherhood role doesn't mean I should drop my writing pen, it was a good thing I did.



This week’s edition is something that some people might not see eye to eye with me on. It might even draw criticism from older women and even some young folks, but this issue has always been a burden on my heart since I was a single lady.

When I said don't call me mama in the prologue of this series, I was very serious. Apart from the fact that I didn't want to become old school, lol, it was mainly because I didn't want to lose my identity.

The origin of women being called "Mama Sade" for example is because in those days, women were being defined by their children, which to be honest, might not really be a bad thing in itself, many women were proud of, and it has continued till this day. My issue with this was

Don't Call me Mama (10) - Let me tell you something about E-PI-ZI-YO-TO-MEE

Happy new year to every single person reading this blog post. May the year 2018 bring you all your heart's desires and God's will for your life.

When I became pregnant, I read every single thing I could about pregnancy. I became a walking encyclopaedia. I read books, forums, apps, etc. As informed as I got myself to be, one thing I never paid much attention to was

EPISIOTOMY

I took it like one of those topics we skip in science subjects because we really don’t like them and hope they never show up in exam questions. And even when they show up, we find ways to avoid them because there are four other questions we can toy with, in the “answer three out of five” instruction we have been given. In our world, they don’t exist.

Because I did not take episiotomy seriously, it was not surprise that I never really prayed about it. To be honest, when I was informed that they would do an episiotomy on me because I was too small, I didn’t know the postpartum implications until they started taking place in my own body.



For those who don’t know, episiotomy is when the doctor tears you in your perineal region so they can bring the baby out easily. They usually perform this when the baby is too big to come through your vaginal area, and they don’t want the baby to tear you.

I consider episiotomy to be a caesarean section done on the vaginal area. Period!

After my labour, my epidural wore out, and a couple of hours later, I knew that there was something in the dictionary called PAIN. I was on heavy dose of pain medication every four hours. Urinating was hell, standing was hell, sitting was hell, I could not function without pain medication. I was literally looking at the clock to see when it was going to four hours from my last medication.

I got discharged almost two days from the day I walked into the hospital, and the degree of my suffering went to another level. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t use the other rest room, so I became constipated. Almost 48 hours after I walked out of the hospital, I went back to my doctors. I was in so much pain that I was crying as I explained my plight to the doctor. As far as I was concerned, my life was over.