Hello and Goodbye!

Hello beautiful people. Sorry for disappearing for 7 weeks. I was ill, and when I got better, I could hardly get the motivation to write or blog. Thank you for asking about me, even though no one really asked about me, lol.

Anyway, I am back... to let you know that I am leaving this 2018... to come back in 2019. But if I decide to come back in 2018, don't scream, cos I am rebelling against culture, and I can choose to go back on my words anytime.

Next year, I will most likely be changing my voice/style on this blog to the more natural/gist style we were used to in the old days of blogging, cos right now, all the formality and blogging professionalism is just killing and boring. Please pray for me, that my 2019 will be better than 2018, and I won't lose my passion for blogging. Y'all also should be encouraging, and comment on posts jo, cos I know you read them.

Anyway, my laptop battery is almost dead. Happy new year in advance. See you in 2019

Chasing the next level, WIMBIZ conference, et al

Why do we like looking forward to the next phase of our lives, so much so that we don’t enjoy the current phase? Societal pressure hasn’t made this easier. As a single girl, people are looking forward to your marriage. As soon as the wedding is over, the womb watchers won’t get their eyes off your midsection until they spot a bulge. And once your first child started toddling around, they ask you why you are taking too much time, with stories of how gaps between siblings shouldn’t be too wide. It’s as if we are always chasing the next level, and hardly catching it before it slips away again. Personally, I am guilty of not enjoying the moment because I am always worrying about how to accomplish the next goal on my list. I wonder if I will ever get to the point when I will be at peace enough to rest, and say to myself “I have tried.”

I don’t know if it’s just me experiencing this, but doing business hasn’t been so palatable this year of 2018. There has been more misses than hits, and lord knows I worked my head off this year. I can’t really tell if it’s because I took some wrong steps, and didn’t calculate well, or if it’s just an economic thing affecting everyone. I will like to hear what you all think about this.

I left Instagram… again. I wasn’t as pissed with it as I was in the past, but I wasn’t just having it. I think I have found a way to maintain a social media presence without being there, just that it might cost me. Anyway, I’m still exploring my options. Let’s see.

I went for WIMBIZ conference last week. It was really fun, and eye-opening in some aspects. I don’t think I will be going again though, cos I think it’s too expensive for what I got from it. I used to wonder how they always get to fill the hall, despite the high cost. It was when I got there I found out that 80% of the attendees were sponsored by their companies i.e. big corporations in Nigeria. Very few people brought out their hard earned money to attend, like me.

Below is my look for the Wakanda-themed after party for WIMBIZ. I felt overdressed cos most people didn't follow the theme at all. They just wore Ankara blazers and trads. Such party-poopers, lol.

My new friend, Chibu, photobombing my selfie, lol.

The Dangerous wave of Distorted Feminism

There’s a dangerous wave of distorted feminism sweeping through social media now, so dangerous that ignoring it will only guarantee its rise.

I was particularly taken aback this past weekend when I came across rants bashing women who were interested in fighting for their marriages, honouring commitments, or even wanting to get married. I really don’t follow trending topics so I wasn’t aware it had gotten bad… women directly attacking marriages and calling for its extinction, unabashedly spewing vulgar words, throwing morality out of the window, and preaching the gospel of indiscriminate sex since you know “we are all adults.” And if you are happily married, you dare not show face on such forums to defend the sacred institution, lest you be torn to pieces.

I do not doubt that there are bad marriages out there, but is the solution to bad marriage “no marriage?” There are bad bosses and jobs out there, how come people are not clamouring for job extinction? There are bad political leaders all over, but no one says we should eliminate civic leadership. There are so many bad things out there, as a result of the perversion of the good, but we don’t see people piking up placards to protest their continuation.

The Vain Body Journal: There's a new Celeb in town!

My days at the Gym have been going on well. I strive to make a minimum of 4 days in a week, though I almost did 5 days last week, but laziness got the best of me, lol. Have I lost weight since I started? I don't know but I think so. The thing is I didn't weigh myself before I started gyming so there's really nothing to compare with. One thing I can say is that I feel better internally, and my body is a bit more toned. If I keep at it, all my muscles will be popping in a few years time, lol.

Now guess who the most popular member of the gym is?
.
.
.
.

A year since my life changed for the better

Hi beautiful people. I am so grateful to God for His faithfulness over me and my family. Can you believe it? My son is one year old today. Seems just like yesterday when he came into this world. The past one year has been a very interesting one. I have learnt and unlearnt. I can look back now, and just say Thank you Lord.

He has provided for us, and taken care of my son. We have never been to the hospital since he was discharged after birth. We have never had any accident, or domestic mishap. Everything has been smooth, and it's not because I am such a childcare expert.

I rarely put my son's on Internet but today is his birthday, and he has put this beautiful video together, for you to celebrate him. Watch and enjoy.

Let's talk about The F-WORD

Hello beautiful people. If you are a Nigerian, I wish you a Happy Independence Day in arrears. My prayer is that Nigeria will be the great nation it really deserves to be.

It's been a long time that I've been excited the way I am now. Last week, something good happened to me, and it set me aflame. It got people talking on Social Media, Instagram especially. I released my first Spoken Word Video titled The F-WORD.

There is an ongoing, albeit unnecessary battle between sexes in this age. The F - WORD has become a vulgar word that is forbidden to be uttered in many places, but unless we face, head-on, these battles that are threatening to tear us all apart, we'll all be headed downhill, and no side will come out as the winner.

The Vain Body Journal: I'm in love with the Shape of You

As you all know, I’ve been going to the gym for about two weeks, and I’m loving it so far. I am now more physically active than I was, I know have to deal with the guilt that used to plague me daily about me not working out.

I found out that the gym is a good place for networking, though I haven’t started doing that because I just have one hour to spend at the gym in the morning before I resume work, so right now, “ain’t nobody gat time for that…”

Anyway, one morning, as I was dressing up to leave, a lady came in to the dressing room. First thing I noticed was that she really had a great figure but her stomach was protruding. She was slim, but not very slim, slim with the right amount of hips, butts, and breast. If not for her stomach, she would have been a perfect hour glass. I automatically assumed that she’s just someone with a great figure, but just had a baby. She changed to her gym shoes, brought out a workout waist belt, which is the rave on social media, and wore it.

I them asked her if she just had a baby. She smiled with a surprised look on her face, and said “Me? No o. I am not even married.” I wondered who sent me message, but quickly improvised the situation, and said “Oh, sorry. I was asking because of the belt you are using. Please tell me, does it work?” She said it works a bit. She can even wear the belt all day, only that it will make your shoulders look abnormally bigger than your body. I thanked her, and told her it was important for me to know because I just had a baby (even though I really wasn’t interested in the belt. I was just making conversation because I really liked her figure, and wanted to let her know without being weird).

She went on to say she doesn’t have any child. The only issue is that she adds weight in her stomach region when she’s growing bigger, so she wants to work on her stomach so she can add weight in other regions while keeping her stomach flat.

All the bells in my head immediately rang at the same time, and my mind went

BLASPHEMY!

I screamed “Nooooooo, please don’t add weight. Your figure is perfect. Why would you want to do this? Just work on your stomach. People are killing themselves in the gym to have a body like yours.”
This lady wasn’t fat, wasn’t thin. The closest person I can compare her with is Ciara so you can understand better. I was just so surprised that someone who looked like that wasn’t happy with her body, so I just told her that “Well, I understand. We ladies are never 100% happy with our bodies, no matter how good it is. There’s always something we think can be better about it.”

She went on to say that it is not that she isn’t happy with her body, but she realized that people don’t respect her because of her body structure. They take her for granted because she doesn’t have the body mass to go along with whatever respect she wanted to command. To summarize the whole story, her figure was sabotaging her!

In my mind, I was like “what is this woman saying? So what does she want someone like me to say? I am short, petite, and not fat. Should I jump inside the river? Lol.”

In my own opinion, and according to my own experience, people might take you for granted when they first see you, but if you are good at your craft, know your onions, and are confident in the way you speak and carry yourself, once you open you open your mouth, everyone will take a seat. This is my opinion and I stand by it.

I made my opinion known, and she agreed. Her major worry though was the lack of respect given to her before she even opens her mouth to speak. However, I begged her not to add weight because people were dying to have her body. I told her how she would love this body in her mid-forties and fifties, when she doesn’t really age fast. We laughed over it, she kept thanking me for the compliments, and she said she won’t add it again.

As for me, I pondered on the irony. When it comes to body goals, many of us are not satisfied. We want what others have. Fat people want to be slim, slim people want to be fat. We want to be taller, we feel our legs are too long. We want bigger hips, while some are paying for hip reduction surgery. We wear coloured contacts, while some hate their naturally-coloured eyes. It goes on and on and on. We are always in love with other people’s body. We might as well be looking at other women out there singing “I’m in love with the shape of you.”

So at what point do we say “look at my body. I am 100% happy with it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing in it for the world.” I will be honest enough to admit that I haven’t gotten to that point yet. Please, let me know if you have or haven’t.

The Vain Body Journal: The Decision

Last Sunday, I came out of the blues, and decided that it was time, I have finally decided that enough is enough. I can’t take this anymore.

I would start going to the gym!

No, I am not big or fat or anything of that sort...

But still, I didn’t like my body. In my own estimation, my hips were flabby, bigger than they were before childbirth, I had “church mothers” arms, and my stomach hasn’t gone down totally (I’m not as bothered about this as I should be because if I’m going to be having another child, then why go to the stress to flatten something that would most likely protrude shortly after?). Anyway, I wasn’t just feeling myself, and I was unhappy about it, so I decided to take the bull by the horn.

I would like to state some underlying factors that made me start going to the gym.

Firstly, I believe every lady, no matter how modest they are, has something she is either vain, obsessed or near-obsessed about. It can be looks, fashion, shoes, fit-fam, cosmetics, hair, power, control, children, books (for the nerds), etc. For me, it is MY BODY. I won’t even lie or hide under the docks about it. I love to look at my body, and be okay and confident with it. If I am not okay with it, I won’t be 100% happy, and I will keep working and ranting till I get to the point when I am okay with it. A lot of things contributed to this vainness though, but there’s no need to mention them here.
When I told my husband that I was going to start gyming, I told him it’s because of some things, including not liking the way I look and feel. He said he likes me this way. But as far as I was concerned, if I don’t like it, that is what matters, since it is MY body, and I am the one stuck in it for life.

Secondly, I have always been team healthy-eating, healthy-living. Everyone who knows me or reads this blog knows that. For some years, I have been that lady who works out daily. I stopped in my first trimester because of nausea and vomiting, and resumed in my third trimester. I stopped again after delivery, and resumed 2 weeks later (just running at first). I kept trying to tailor the workouts to my new life demands, switching from mornings to night, styles to styles, etc. After a while, I just fell off the bandwagon because of time constraints. And for about three month, it had been hard to get back there. I had previously decided to be leaving my nanny at home with my son instead of us all going to work together, so I could trek to work and trek back home, which will take me about 1 hour 30 minutes per trip, but when my nanny disappeared, I ditched this plan because I need to get super-used to this new one before I leave her alone with my son. I then decided that maybe this home workout programs isn’t okay for this phase of my life… at least, till I get my grind back.

Lastly, I am a money manager, and I like to get the value out of every penny spent. I’m not a fan of paying for gym memberships when I can do the workouts at home. However, I know that at this point in my life, accountability is what I mostly need. If I can’t be accountable to myself, I will be accountable to my money, lol. If I bring my hard-earned cash, and pay for gym membership, lord knows I will squeeze everything out of that money, thereby making me get my desired results.

So yes, many changes are happening in my life, and going to the gym is one of them. What about you? Do you work out? Do you do it at home or at the gym? Which is the most effective for you, and why? Let’s know in the comment section.

P.S: I realize that I’ve been getting a lot of writing inspiration whenever I’m at the gym, so I will be doing a gym/workout/health/fit-fam series, from time to time, the first of which is this post. The name is of course, the Vanity Body Journal. I hope you all like it. Have a great week

Unbelievable Nanny Woes (2)

Hello people, hope you had a great week. I just want to update you on how my nanny woes continued, and eventually ended. I you haven't read the first post where I documented my nanny woes, you can read it here.

As at the time I wrote last week's post, I was waiting for three candidates to come to my house to be interviewed. I eventually interviewed them, and two of them stood out for me. I was quite impressed with them, their willigness, exposure, and other things, even though I was not okay with distance of their houses from mine, since it is a live-out job.

I decided to go for the lesser evil. She resumed the next day, did some cleaning in the kitchen, and prepped her food. On our way to work, we took a detour for nanny medical test. Her bloodwork was done, and we waited for the result.

When the attendant came out, she was like "Madam, carry your child." I instantly knew something was wrong, and I was like "Oh no, not again."

She had Hep - B, and was therefore not qualified to work as a nanny or in a restaurant. I was devastated, the girl was devasted. She kept begging me not to tell the agent (she was more concerned about the agent knowing than about the status of her health). She said she didn't want any of f her family members to know, but I told her she needed to get to the doctor to treat herself, and test her 3-year old daughter to know if she's infected. I doubt she listened to me though. On my own part, I had to disclose the truth to the agent so that he wouldn't send her to another family, who might be too carefree to carry out the appropriate tests. I also needed to get an immediate replacement, as the development threw a spanner in my wheel for that day.

I immediately called the second choice to resume the next day, even though she wanted to live-in. I had to increase her salary a bit because her house was much farther than the first choice. We did her medicals, and everything was fine. She's quite smart and literate. My only issue with her is that she said she is going back to her town in December, and might not come back because the stress in Lagos is too much for her. I was quite pissed cos if she had told me before, I probably wouldn't have employed her and done the medicals for her. I've informed the agent to start loooking for other options for me for that time.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

Unbelievable Nanny Woes

I’ve heard many people narrate their bad experiences with helps, nannies, or search for nannies, and I’ve always looked at them from the point of “pity” saying “eeya” in my mind. Well, right now, I’m very unhappy to say that I have my own terrible nanny stories to narrate. While I have not had an outrightly bad nannies, I recently had a series of unfortunate events, and I am currently in between nannies.

Firstly, I had to replace my nanny when we got into the month of july because the most terrible sets of attitudes I have seen in an elderly person. I got a younger person who was almost perfect in every sense, and then just like that, her mother died, or lemme say “they said her mother died.” One minute, she was in the house doing her work as normal, and the next minute, she was in her village, and I wasn’t even aware. I was later informed, and asked to send money so she could come back, which I did. Let’s just say that up till now, I am yet to see her. I couldn’t reach her nor her family members. If only I knew that this was the beginning of my nanny woes.

The first day without a nanny, my husband volunteered to stay home with my son because we believed my nanny was going to resume the next day like they promised. No show!

The next day, I took my baby to work, and I assigned a staff (who he absolutely adores) to babysit him. By this time, the family members had stopped picking my calls, and I knew there was foul play.
When the nanny didn’t resume the third day, I told him to send me some people to interview so my disappearing nanny could be replaced, which he did.

First day, I interviewed three girls. What stood out was that these ‘nannies’ lie a lot. They say they finished secondary school, yet they cannot read and write. This was very annoying, and I disqualified some people based on this because I just believe liars are dangerous people to have working so close to you. On this day, I decided to go for the last girl I interviewed cos I genuinely liked her. She seemed agile, smart, and ready to work. She said her past employer lived in my estate (she didn’t know I lived in that estate cos the interview took place at work). She had to leave the job because her mother died. I told her to take me to her past employer cos there was no way I was going to employ her, knowing her former madam live few doors away from me. She told me she had to go and get the contact number from her second sim at home, and she would meet me on the way home. Let’s just say that was the last time I heard from her.

I was so disappointed cos I really liked her. I had to go for the second choice, whom I didn’t really like because she seemed sluggish and lackadaisical. I told her to resume the next day, but the next day, she was nowhere to be found. I was kinda glad cos I prayed to God that if she wasn’t meant to work with me, God should make her not resume.

After informing me of the girl’s refusal to resume, he sent me four more girls to interview, and two stood out for me. The most perfect one lived too far from me, and I was concerned about this (it’s a live-out nanny job). She lived in the same area with my first nanny, and I remember distance being an issue with her. So I called the agent to discuss the two options, and he said my second choice, who lived close to me said she didn’t want the job again because I was asking her many questions. Ehhh, egbami. You want to interview for nanny, and you don’t want me to ask you questions??? I should just trust you and give my child to you? Funny thing is that she passed the interview in flying colours. I even spoke to her former boss in front of her, and he gave her glowing recommendations. She wasn’t happy about this. I said if I took her, she would be going to the hospital for nanny test. She wasn’t happy about this too. I just concluded that she was a spoilt little child who wasn’t ready to work, so I went for my first choice who seemed perfect in every way, apart from home distance. I told her to resume the next day, which she did.

The next day, little miss perfect was given money to go to the hospital for nanny test, while I went about my business at work. A series of test routines that was supposed to take about 60 to 90 minutes (it is a crowded mother and child hospital) ended up taking 7 hours! She left around 8.30am and returned at 3.30pm, and this was the result she gave me.

Not only was my “little miss perfect” pregnant, she forged the hospital report to make it look like she wasn’t pregnant, and that the hospital had made a mistake, hence the tipex. She wasn’t even smart enough to know that any idiot would see this, and know that it had been doctored. The handwritings look nothing alike. It all started making sense. Why she had been gone for so long, why her phone had been switched off, etc. Everything I did from then on was in a state of shock. I told my assistant to follow her to the hospital, and ask for who used tipex on the report (I honestly didn’t think she did it. I assumed she begged a staff to help her cover her lapse in judgement). Anyway, she saw we were serious, and we told her to confess, and she said she’s really pregnant. I was shocked. This girl was 21 years old, who looked like a 16 year old, and had the voice and innocent smile of a 10 year old. She said it happened last month wither guy in her neighbourhood, it was her first time ever, bla bla bla, and she would abort the child. I told her I wasn’t going to be a party to that, and she must report herself to her mother. I sent her back to the agent, and we all agreed I should employ her, because whether I liked it or not, she was going to abort the child. She said she was never going to tell her mum because it would break her heart. She was going to resume the next day.

The next day, this girl never showed. I called her, but she didn’t pick. She later sent a message to say she couldn’t do the job again because she had failed me by forging records, and would not be able to face me again. while I applauded her for her bravery, I was concerned about who would now refund the money I spent on her hospital test.

So here I am, without nanny for 9 days. My staff have been responsible for taking care of my son while I work during work hours. As I type this, two people are on their way for interview, and I pray I get someone perfect for the job amongst one of them. They sounded like correct people when I talked to them. Let’s hope they are fit for the job.

What of you? Have you had to deal with nanny, help or staff issues? If yes, how did you resolve them?

My Desert Safari Experience in Abu Dhabi

Hello beautiful people. I will just pretend like I've done nothing wrong, and resume blogging as usual, lol. I don't want to join the ranks of runaway bloggers who disappear, come to apologize, promise to never leave, and then disappear again. Lai lai. #putsonholierthanthouface

A lot has happened o. I have tripped, risen, dusted myself, and gotten back in motion again. We got our NAFDAC number at African Naturalistas. Finally! Let's just say we need prayers in Nigeria.

My only brother got married, and it wasn't in Nigeria. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love destination weddings. It's cheaper than the typical Nigerian wedding, and its way more fuuuunnn. My entire nuclear family went to Abu Dhabi for the wedding, and it was beautiful. I won't be sharing pictures of the wedding because it was not my wedding, but you can see a few pictures of me, my friends, and small family below, lol.

Women and our Hair problems. We can stop the need to deceive men now!

In last week's post, I promised to let you people know one of the things I achieved recently in a future blog post. Well, rather than just mention it, I will tell you what neccessitated into this development in the first place.


Let me tell you the truth... Many women have hair problems! Trust me, I have seen so many things in this my career as a hair expert. Don't believe the illusion created by wigs and extensions.

As you most probably know by now, we have a Hair Clinic at African Naturalistas, where we treat and manage over 50 Hair and Scalp disorders.

Hair has always been a passionate issue for me, and I've always treated it with so much seriousness. It has never really been about money for me, but about helping women with hair issues. My heart breaks when I see one more woman suffering from hair and scalp disorders, largely due to ignorance.

It is because of this sole reason we created African Naturalistas, and it has evolved into what it is today, and will keep evolving.

Here's a slight summary...

A very long time ago, I realised that Africans didn't know how to care for their natural hair, and relied heavily on Black Americans to teach them what to do, even though our hair situations were quite different. So we started African Naturalistas blog

Then people started coming to us for products, because the products available then were all foreign and not very affordable. So we started African Naturalistas Hair Products

Then people started asking for products to treat their Hair loss and other Hair and scalp disorders. We realised that not everyone's issues will respond to the generic "coconut oil and castor oil" remedy, which bloggers are always quick to prescribe. We realised that truly, many ladies' hair issues are unique, and must be treated as such. So we armed ourselves with knowledge, got certifications in Holistic Practitioner of Trichology... and we opened a Hair Clinic

Then we started getting requests from people who couldn't visit our Hair Clinic because of location. While our Hair clinic was and is still effective, we can't reach everyone. We realised also that what many women are facing with their hair right now is as a result of lack of proper hair care regimen, either due to ignorance, or time to study their hair and come up with a proper hair care regimen. So we did the following

We came up with the A.N. 365-Day Natural Hair Care Regimen to help you care for your hair. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, you can get this book, choosing the one that best suits your situation, and manage your hair. This book is our unique invention, because it is not your regular e-book. There are many good things about it, and one of them is that it is an interactive document. You click on your desired date, and all the things you are supposed to do on your hair that day is what appears to you.


I really cannot begin to list the goodness about these documents, but you can check them out here.

Bonus
The A.N. 365-Day Natural Hair Care Regimen is supposed to last you for 365 days. So for example, if you get it in July, you will get regimens from July 2018 to June 2019. But we included a bonus of extra six months worth of Regimen. This offers is valid for only a few weeks though.

Once you have gotten your own 365-Day Hair Care Regimen, and you begin to see result, please don't hesitate to send us pictorial testimonials so other people's doubts can be cleared.

Get is now by clicking here

That month when I sat with ex-presidents, and hit all my goals!

For the first time in a very very long time, I didn't blog for 4 whole weeks! I didn't even visit blogger. Ever since I left social media to concentrate on some of my goals, it was as if another part of life consumed me.

So many things happened... both good and frustrating, but I can say that even in the midst of it all, life has been good

Firstly, I achieved some major goals in my business, African Naturalistas 

1. We are almost done with our product development for this year, and will soon be releasing many new products into the market. Yaayy!
2. We now have sales representatives all over Lagos, who are making sure our products reach places we couldn't have ordinarily reached. You can find the list of our current sales outlets here.
3. I achieved a major milestone, which I will reveal in my next one or two blog posts

Another thing that happened was a major overhaul in the people around me. Firstly, my business administrator resigned, then people around me started messing up (including my nanny, though she had been displaying a funny attitude for some time now). It was quite disappointing and frustrating. I kept wondering why it all happened at the same time because the more I tried to keep these people around, the more disappointed I was. Anyway, God made me understand that the current crop of people me have to change because the season of my life is about to change, and they didn't have a place in my next phase. At that point, I stopped questioning. When people hear about things like this, one automatically thinks of bad friends and the likes, but these people aren't even friends... just the team of people whose work is to help me fulfill purpose.

I had the opportunity of being main performing artist (spoken word) at a high profile event two weeks ago. Ex-president Olusegun Obasanjo was the chairman of the event... more like he was the organizer of the event (well, it was his NGOs). It was a privilege being addressed by him, having personal conversations with him, and taking pictures with him, along with my family.

The truth is that I debated putting these pictures up so many times, and had to re-edit this blog post so many times because of this indecision. There's a whole lot of my life I don't blog about because I don't feel the release in my heart to do so. But sometimes, we just has to remember that if fear of being seen in a particular way is a major driving force, we will end up imprisoning ourselves. Even though there's always a risk of being misrepresented by malicious people, we shouldn't let it shackle us.

Another thing I learnt is that when you are in the presence of powerful people, never hesitate to speak the truth, not in a brash or insultive manner, but in a way that they'll have no choice to listen, and will appreciate you for it. After all, they weren't expecting you to come and lick their feet when they invited you to their presence. For now, I use my art form of expression, and it will be a shame to waste such a great opportunity to influence people, and shape Nigeria for the better.

Unfortunately, it's time for me to return to social media. While I'm not looking forward to it even though I've hit some of my goals, my publicity won't be possible without it. And this leads me to the announcement below

This Saturday, yours truly will be hosting a webinar on “Chemical Composition of the Hair and how it affects your daily hair care routine.” I know it sounds all science-y, but trust me, it is fun webinar and you will be the main beneficiary of this webinar, in terms of knowledge gained, and how you will apply it. There'll also be a live Q&A session where I will be answering all your hair care questions

To join this webinar, you will need to register using the link below. The good news is that even if you are not around by 6pm this Saturday, the webinar will be available for one week after we go live. You can always watch it later as long you register

Click here to register for the webinar

Happy new month. How was your month of June? What's been going on with you? I will like to know in the comment section

I left Instagram, and here’s what happened

Yes, I did it! I left Instagram, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders at the time I did it. Long before then, I always had the urge to delete the app but I couldn’t gather the courage because I used it mainly for publicity. I felt I was going to lose a lot if I left. The sad part was that my long-term annoyance with the platform had been preventing me from putting myself out there , not my personal life but other areas of my life that I felt should be projected for people to see so I could further grow in those areas.

Anyway, some weeks ago, there was a lot of pressure on me because of things that weren’t going according to plan in my business. Instagram became a form of escapism, with me just wanting to spend 5 minutes, and I end up spending about 20 minutes. And instead of me to focus on solving my problems, I kept escaping from them. Whenever I went on Instagram, and later closed the app, I didn’t feel at peace. I felt like “what am I doing on this app, why am I wasting my life?” So I made the decision to delete the app, and come back when all the things I need to sort out were done.
With so much pain, I sorted some of the kinks out immediately, and had to start others from the scratch. There are still some things hanging, but I will be done soon. Once I am done with most of them, I will reinstall Instagram. To be honest, I am not going back there as a way of rewarding myself for hitting some set goals. I am going there because I need the app to publicise one of my upcoming projects, lol. I guess we can say “Instagram… you can’t live with it, you can’t live without it.”

Do I miss the app?

Honestly, No! if not because I think I need it, I won’t even be going back. Once I log in, I will just post what I need to, and leave. God help me. One of the reasons I was sad about leaving is Lasisi Elenu, SLK, and DANG. It felt like “how can I survive without them?” Ironically, I didn’t even have withdrawal symptoms after stopping the lasisi dosage. It’s like he doesn’t even exist to me.

Am I behind on current affairs?

Ten Unconventional Startups you can practice in Nigeria

I wrote this article for my University class's Whatsapp group, because I coordinate discussions around startups. I felt some people my benefit from it, and since I was the one who put it together, I decided to share it here. Hopefully, someone can pick an idea from here, and make millions from it. Please remember to pay your monthly tithe to me if you are that person.

The good news about these ideas...

• You can run them even if you are a full time worker
• They are scalable (it depends on how big your dreams are 😄)
• You can use IT to run them if you like
• They require little or no investment

So here goes

I went on a Postnatal weight maintainance (diet), and here’s what happened

Hi guys. Hope we are all doing well? A month ago, I wrote about going on my first ever intentional diet and my reasons for doing so. I then followed it up with the reason why I chose to adopt a healthy lifestyle. You can read about that here.

Well, thank God. The diet period is over. I made it through the 30 day program. Did I achieve what I set to achieve? Well, I will write about that at the end of this post.

So what I did was follow the Whole 30 program. You can read more about it here. The Whole 30 thing is not a weight loss program, but it was one of the reasons I chose it… because I wanted to drop some stubborn water weight. The other reason was because I wanted to correct some inexplicable cravings.

Was it easy?
For me, it was. I took care of my snacking challenge by making sure I had enough healthy fruits around me. I was snacking on orange, carrots, bananas, etc. I don’t believe in reducing portions because it would only make one hungry. I believe more in replacing with healthier options, hence my replacement with fruits as snacks.

The Whole 30 program is very friendly to Nigerian menu. Even though there’s a lot you cannot eat, there’s still a lot you can eat, as long as you know how to switch things up, and combine well. I ate loads of plantains, eggs, potatoes of all kinds, potato and plantain porridge, etc. If you love swallows, you will love this diet. I’m not a swallow person so I didn’t take that route. As for Nigerian soups, you can do anything you like, as long as you are not using MSG (Seasoning cubes).

The Challenge
Not being able to steal my husband’s suya, lol. On a serious note, this diet is not friendly to eating out. You basically have to prepare your meals, which wasn’t an issue for me, but there were one or two times when I absolutely had no time on my hands to cook. I depended on fruits in times like these.

Was I tempted?

Dear Single People: You are not welcome here!

In recent times, we've seen a deluge of advice on social media, most especially on Facebook... about marriage. To be honest, many of the advices I come across are quite sensible and will do couples well if only they applied it.

The good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it, is that many of these marriage advices are given by unmarried people and you find in the comment section where people tell them that a single person shouldn't dish out marriage advice because it would only be based on ideals and theories. They say they can never understand marriage if they are not married. One particular blogger turned relationship counselor who is still single does not hesitate to reply saying "I don't have to be married to give advice." Her argument is that you don't have to be married to know what is right in marriage for example domestic violence and cheating, no matter the gender involved, is wrong. But their comeback is always, go and get married first before you come to advise on marriage.

Good News! I still have some more years left to be a lazy wife and mother

It seems like lately, house work has been itching me, lol. It is as if motherhood has brought out one side of me that never existed, and this is very ironic considering my tight schedule. So I single-handedly made baby pap (consisting of guinea corn and millet) for my baby. With the help of my assistants, I did it from the scratch, i.e. buying the ingredients, washing, soaking, grinding, etc. Then I went home and spent three full hours sieving pap, lol. The next day, I ended up with 3 to 9 month supply of pap (I honestly don’t know how long it will really last). I was so proud of myself, I must say.

Anyway, I was feeling like a gee, and decided to make soya bean-plantain nutty meal that would last for about the same duration. In light of this energy, it occurred to me that I have never cooked moin moin since I got married, which is strange considering the fact that my husband likes chattering moin moin outside, and eating at home. So I told my husband that I am on a quest to fulfil his periodical moin moin cravings, and that the one I will make is going to be sweeter and better than the ones he buys outside. All I needed was for him to get me a food processor cos I wasn’t sure the blender I had at home would puree the beans to my satisfaction.

On listening to me, he told me to calm all my initial gra gra down.

The Disturbing trend of Baby Skin-Bleaching

There is a disturbing trend going on amongst new mothers in Nigeria, and it emanated from the glorification of light skin. It comes from the fact that many people elevate people will light skin over those with darker skin. It has always been an issue amongst black African adults, but many of us never guessed that it would be such a cancer that would permeate into the choices we make when we raise our children.

As a mother to a fairly light skinned baby, you get to hear comments like "Oh wow, he’s light. That's nice." To be honest, that is not an issue for me. The issue is when people start to compare their babies’ skins, with inference that the lighter the baby, the more beautiful.

This menace has gotten so bad that mothers are toning bleaching their babies’ skin. Oh yes. We now lie to ourselves saying things like “we are maintaining the colour of the baby’s skin. We don’t want the baby to lose the light skin, and be darker.” But who really are we kidding?

Firstly, if the baby is truly light, why does the skin colour need to be maintained? We know that to maintain the shine and true tone of a skin, what you need is to bathe the baby well, oil well, or moiturise well. A dash of Shea butter here, A teaspoon of Coconut oil there, and you will be maintaining the skin colour well. But when we begin to act like science students, using our innocent babies’ skins for experiment, mixing shea butter with Funbact-A, we are no more “maintaining” jack. Some mothers even mix the shea butter with other bleaching ingredients, while others outrightly use “toning” serums and bleaching creams. What is wrong with us?

My motivation for adopting a Healthy Lifestyle

Hello people. Like I mentioned in my last week's post, I will be talking about why I chose to intentionally adopt a healthy lifestyle, even though it is not the default mode. Long before the fit-fam thing became a craze, thanks to social media, I have always been mindful of my diet. You can read more about it here

For me, it was never about being skinny or losing weight. I have always been petite, and wasn't interested in losing further weight, lest my sexy hips disappeared, lol. In fact, it was the fear of losing weight that delayed me from starting to work out on time, till I gained more knowledge about how to have a healthy work out lifestyle and not lose weight, and started working out 4 years ago.

1. I eat healthy because of my digestive system

As at 2009, my body stopped being compatible with the regular Nigerian carb kind of life. So if I eat bread in the morning, rice in the afternoon or evening (I can't eat 3 square meals), and continue with this kind of life, I'm asking for trouble with my digestive system. My body started being on heavy demand for fibre. By 2010, I had learnt my lesson over and over again that I became a chronic vegetable soup consumer. It was basically small rice, plenty veggies for me. So even if I didn't want to be fit, my body required it from me

Later, my body rejected milk and dairy, cruciferous vegetables, and then some other stuff. The whole story is here.

2. The idea of being sick makes me sick

Intentional Post-Natal Weight Maintenance

It’s official. I am in another phase of my life, and I have admitted it. *covers face*

This is evidenced by the fact that for the first time in my life, I am intentionally going on a diet. I’ve always been a stickler for eating healthy, and have always maintained a good figure and body weight. My stomach was the only thing that grew big when I was pregnant, apart from the time I had water retention issues after the times I got back from the hospital. The saga forced me to increase my intake of fruits and water.

I wasn’t well informed about the things that could happen to a woman’s appetite while she’s breastfeeding. I began to surprise myself when I started craving for sweet and creamy things. I researched the possible reasons, and discovered that it is a pretty normal occurrence in breastfeeding women. I began to be more conscious from then on, and then my body started holding on to water weight. Apparently, I am supposed to wait till I completely wean my child from  breastfeeding until the last water weight drops.

Even though I am not fat, and my wardrobe didn’t change, I am not currently at my pre-pregnancy weight (51kg). I believe that will happen when I completely wean (I just stopped exclusive breastfeeding yesterday). I don't really take a lot of pictures but I was able to find a picture of me wearing my court wedding dress two months ago. And this is how childbirth and breastfeeding has affected me.

Third part interference in Marriages... and other STRONG nmatters

Hi everyone. Hope we are all doing great, and enjoying our Easter Break? Did I abscond from the blog? No! Never! I can’t even try it, lol. Happy Easter to everyone reading this blog. I hope you are enjoying your long break. So with the recent developments around me, a lot of things have been on my mind, and I would like you guys to weigh in on some of them.

I remember vividly sometime in the year 2012, former president Goodluck Jonathan came to Lagos. I was on my way back home from work when I was stopped at the end of third mainland bridge. It was so painful because I was just about to pass when we were all stopped. No one gave us any reasons. I was just looking at the clear empty road ahead of me yet I couldn't go. We were made to wait for over 1 hour before we could pass. You know the funniest thing? The president did not even pass our road. He passed the other side of the bridge, the one facing the island. So why on earth were we who had nothing to do with his route stopped? I was so pissed with that government that I vowed to never vote for them even though I never did before. So you can imagine last week when the whole Lagos was in a chaos because of a presidential visit. I wondered why we operate an oppressive government. Were those complicated logistics really necessary? Were there truly no other ways the president could have come into town with other citizens getting frustrated? Selah

I'm currently wondering when it's time to start being strict and stern with a child.

Putting it bluntly, you are a LIAR!

Hello beautiful people. I am so sorry for semi-abandoning this for over 2 weeks, once again. My life is even more fast-paced than it used to be cos I have so much more balls to juggle, but lai lai, we ain't backing down. We going nowhere babyyyyyy.

I had the privilege of performing a brand new spoken word piece for the International Women's Day at the Nigerian Stock Exchange on March 8, 2018. Thank God for His mercies cos He literally had mercy on me. The production I was doing was so overwhelming that it was so difficult writing a new technical piece in rehearsing in a matter of days. I am waiting for the video, so I can post it up.

My second production of Eversion by Rhyme and Reason is over. Gosshhh, it was so demanding that I get to ask myself sometimes "who sent me message?" In my next life, I will run away from the burdens of passion and dream. Lemme just live an ordinary life for once, lol. All in all, I thank God for the success of the production... which was almost 100% if I say so myself.

That being said, please don't say I have come again o... but I don't know why this irks me continuously. People lying about their lives on social media. Very few times, it is an outright lie, but most times, they strategically post things about themselves to distort their reality, in order for everyone to feel they are in a place where they are not really. And I am not talking about glamour or riches here. I am talking about everyday things. In cases like this, it is only people who know them personally that can tell that it's all crap.

What happens when Love and Romance gets perverted?

Two weeks! My longest hiatus from this blog in a long time. It's been mad crazy... my schedule, I mean. I have had some setbacks in my factory, which resulted to loss of products, meaning what of money and manpower hours.

I'm still waiting for 2018 to show me the goodies it has in stock for me because every opportunity I have availed myself to so far didn't yield, but I am not beating myself up for that.

My first production for the year is happening this week, and that has taking everything from me, money, rest, mental energy, physical energy, quality time with family, etc.

It is happening, starting from this weekend, till next weekend. Three days and two shows. I implore you guys to all turn out for me and my team. I can assure you, you haven't seen anything like what we put together before. It is not hype, it's just that there's no way I can explain it until you see it yourself.

It's very similar to Hamilton, if you know Hamilton, or have watched it. It is called Eversion! We did it last year, and are doing it again this year, this time, bigger, we hope. I hope to see you there on one of the days. Yes, I will rapping on stage as one of the casts. And yes, I am the producer.

You can get your tickets on Ariiya Tickets here or on Spiricoco here.

Five selfish traits babies reveal in humans

Before I had a baby, I was never really a fan of babies, and have never really observed how grown up adults react to babies, apart from saying they are so cute, and wanting to carry or play with them. As for me, I just congratulate you, and walk away. When I saw a baby, I didn’t see a human being, I just saw a time-guzzling creature with limbs, and time was a commodity I never had to give to a creature whose communication I couldn’t grasp, lol. The only baby I ever cared for was the last born of my family.

Of course, that changed when I got pregnant. I began to take interest in the biology of creating a new human being, and when my baby arrived, I saw things from a totally different light. More importantly, I began to observe the way adults behave with babies, and handle baby issues. I found it amusing the things a new baby in a family can cause. Most importantly, I observed how self-serving adults could be when it comes to baby matters, and here are some.

1. Everyone wants the baby to look like them
The argument about who the baby looks like is always the most common. You start hearing things like he has my grandmother’s nose to he has my uncle in-law’s toe nails. Every family member desperately wants the baby to look like them or someone in their family, such that they share the baby’s body parts into pieces and attribute different parts to different family members. The worst case is when couples fight because

The Reality (or Myth) of a Well-Balanced Woman

Source

Before I got married, and later had a child, I constantly heard about how a woman could not successfully balance the different aspects of her life, i.e. her career role, motherly role, wifely role, ministry role (if she is has one). It is said that at every point in time, at least, one aspect has to suffer for others to succeed.

I have listened to several views on this, especially with the rise of several interpretations of feminism. Some say it is possible, while others say it isn’t. Some ask how come men can do it, while women can’t. Some say it is possible, but very difficult, and a lot of sacrifices will have to be made.

After deliberating on this for a very long time, I came to my own conclusion last year, after having an eye-opening discussion with a friend. And this is it. Whenever there are varying viewpoints and philosophies flying around concerning a particular subject, that is when it is time for you to shut all external chaos and noise, and look for the truth. So I asked myself what God said concerning this issue. Is there anything in the word of God that says I can't have it all, and be a totally balanced woman? Yes, I know sacrifices will have to be made, but it is not an impossibility.

Most of the women mentioned in the Bible were not housewives. They were working women, and as far as was portrayed, well balanced women.  So why would I choose to accept man’s philosophy when God hasn't said so. We know that many people's opinions about this are based on the experiences that they and many other women have had. They said, it's the reality of the society we live in. But we also know that reality is relative. Your reality is not my reality

Last week was quite tight for me. By weekend, I found myself having to manage several fronts, and ensuring

If these people can do it, what is your excuse?

Hello everyone. How are we all doing? I’m very happy that the pregnancy series is over. I did not want my blog to become a woman blog, pregnancy blog or mummy blog. I have been trying to be very careful about this because it sometimes seems automatic for a blogger’s new reality to take over the content of their blog, especially when it is a lifestyle blog.

This week’s post is quite brief. I want to talk about the recent trend of people spamming blog comments section with talks of herbalists and hex men helping them get their husbands back or in extreme cases, killing someone like the screenshot below.

I've always thought that there's no way on earth that someone will fall for this, and patronize such people. But then again, if their marketing strategy wasn't working, and no one was patronizing them, they would have stopped this gimmick a long time ago. You might have come across them on your blog if you are also a blogger

Gone are the days when you had to enter one bush to go and look for one 'baba' to do one jazz or the other for you. You can find them right here online, no more traveling to a remote village. One would think that the advent of technology would make us wiser, and send these people into extinction, but no, they wax stronger daily and now have websites and Facebook pages.

I think the several native doctor comment on the blogosphere is by the same person though, just that the person keeps using different profiles and email addresses all the time. Some people have time sha.


Are you aware of anyone who has fallen for these kinds of people? How did it turn out in the end?

So the real question here is what is stopping you? If jazz men, whether real or fake, are innovating, and changing the the demand of the recent times, what is your excuse? Some of us think that our trade is not marketable online, or we have just plainly refused to adapt, but I say if the Babalawos can do it, then you shouldn't be dulling.

Don't Call me Mama (11) - Let's get real: Your child is not your achievement

This week officially marks the end of this series. If this were a book, then this week's edition is the epilogue which is always as important as the book.

After I had my baby, I debated whether I should tell the world I was now a mother, considering the fact that I never even told anyone I was pregnant neither did I take a picture of me being pregnant. Not only did I blog about having a baby, I went into details about how it went down. Sharing things like this puts you in a vulnerable position, where people can attack you, but in the end, I'm glad I did. Even if it just proved to me that the demanding motherhood role doesn't mean I should drop my writing pen, it was a good thing I did.

This week’s edition is something that some people might not see eye to eye with me on. It might even draw criticism from older women and even some young folks, but this issue has always been a burden on my heart since I was a single lady.

When I said don't call me mama in the prologue of this series, I was very serious. Apart from the fact that I didn't want to become old school, lol, it was mainly because I didn't want to lose my identity.

The origin of women being called "Mama Sade" for example is because in those days, women were being defined by their children, which to be honest, might not really be a bad thing in itself, many women were proud of, and it has continued till this day. My issue with this was

Don't Call me Mama (10) - Let me tell you something about E-PI-ZI-YO-TO-MEE

Happy new year to every single person reading this blog post. May the year 2018 bring you all your heart's desires and God's will for your life.

When I became pregnant, I read every single thing I could about pregnancy. I became a walking encyclopaedia. I read books, forums, apps, etc. As informed as I got myself to be, one thing I never paid much attention to was

EPISIOTOMY

I took it like one of those topics we skip in science subjects because we really don’t like them and hope they never show up in exam questions. And even when they show up, we find ways to avoid them because there are four other questions we can toy with, in the “answer three out of five” instruction we have been given. In our world, they don’t exist.

Because I did not take episiotomy seriously, it was not surprise that I never really prayed about it. To be honest, when I was informed that they would do an episiotomy on me because I was too small, I didn’t know the postpartum implications until they started taking place in my own body.

For those who don’t know, episiotomy is when the doctor tears you in your perineal region so they can bring the baby out easily. They usually perform this when the baby is too big to come through your vaginal area, and they don’t want the baby to tear you.

I consider episiotomy to be a caesarean section done on the vaginal area. Period!

After my labour, my epidural wore out, and a couple of hours later, I knew that there was something in the dictionary called PAIN. I was on heavy dose of pain medication every four hours. Urinating was hell, standing was hell, sitting was hell, I could not function without pain medication. I was literally looking at the clock to see when it was going to four hours from my last medication.

I got discharged almost two days from the day I walked into the hospital, and the degree of my suffering went to another level. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t use the other rest room, so I became constipated. Almost 48 hours after I walked out of the hospital, I went back to my doctors. I was in so much pain that I was crying as I explained my plight to the doctor. As far as I was concerned, my life was over.