Dangerous Sex

So one night, I unlocked my door, and walked into my room. NEPA was on their usual duty, so I shined the torch of my phone.

What did I see?

Two creations of God… having sex… in my room.

The worst part? They didn’t even flinch when I entered. My presence did not matter to them. They just carried on like no one had entered, and it was their territory.

I was so angry.

How dare they do this to me? How dare they have sex in my own room? Didn’t they know how I reacted to their colleagues trying to do the same thing by my window?

My room is a spinster’s room, and no sex… ABSOLUTELY NO SEX should go on there.

First thing I did was calm down, turned on my camera, took several pictures of them at far and close range, so I could use as evidence in case anyone ever accused me of wickedness in future.

And then in my pious rage, I took my insecticide, and sprayed them. I sprayed and sprayed in anger.

Evidence in the court of law

BLOODY COCKRAOCHES.

Then and only then did they flinch, and then they fell down from my wall.

Do you know the worst part? As they were dying, they did not disengage. They were still joined together, as they continued to have sex even in their final moments on earth.

These roaches were gangster. They would rather die together than allow anyone separate them. Well, if only humans would learn from them.

Anyway, when they get to their next life, they would warn their mates, and tell them to keep away from @ilola’s room because any sex that goes on there is a DANGEROUS SEX, and it would only lead to death

Monitoring Spirits on BBM

Happy new year my people. Thank God for seeing us through 2015. It was a great year for me, and I enjoyed the peace that surpassed all understanding. I never shook, through any storm. I never even felt any storm, lol. 2016 will be a greater year for us all in Jesus name.

If you are my friend on BBM, you would know by now that I am of strange ways when it comes to BBM updates. I might not upload a picture or status for a whole year, then update for 2 weeks, and disappear for a whole year again.

In my opinion, BBM is more personal than facebook, Instagram, blogger, and the likes. Anyone on your BBM is supposed to be closer to you than the general gbogbo ero. I have noticed that some people add you up on BBM not specifically because they want to get closer to you, but they want to have their noses all up in your business.

My BBM friends have no advantage over my blogsville friends. In fact, I say absolutely nothing on BBM, and if anyone wants to ‘monitor’ me, the best way to do it is to read my blog, of which the update would come weeks or months later, anyway.

When I first got a blackberry, I used to update status and pictures regularly, but sometime in February 2012, I stopped. I just wished the whole world would go away and leave me alone. But then, I published my first book, Antonyms of a Mirage. People started putting the picture of my book cover on their DP, in order to celebrate me. So I was shamed into coming out of hiding, so I started updating pictures again, mostly with my book cover.

By 2013 ending, I stopped again, mostly because I wanted the world to just leave me alone… again. I noticed that anytime I change my DP, people would start chatting with me. And I didn’t want to chat.
So I started updating DPs at about 1am or 2am when I wanted to go and sleep, when I know people would be too asleep to chat me up.

But then, I would wake up the next morning, and see some chats waiting for me. *sigh*

It was as if they were monitoring me. I couldn’t even upload a DP in peace. I started getting scared of uploading DPs, lol.

People would be greeting you, asking directionless questions, trying to strike up chats that go nowhere, just because you changed your DP. So I left my phone totally blank. It was time to start chatting with people who remembered me regardless of whether I change my DP and status or not.

At this time, I had started losing taste for my pictures. For over two years, I had stopped displaying my pictures, not even on my birthday. People hardly knew my birthday (which was intentional, as I took it off all social media pages), and for the people who knew, they won’t put up my picture on their DP, since mine is blank, and they get the message that I don’t want to be acknowledged. For the ones who actually go out of their way to put it up (like old time friends), I reach out to them, and tell them to take my picture down. And till now, that’s how it has been.

I don’t celebrate my birthday, anyone’s birthday, new year, new month, Christmas, Easter, Salah, trips, or anything on my DP.

So it got to a point I asked myself “why should I be afraid of uploading anything on the DP of the phone I bought with my money?”

Anyway, I am no more afraid. I have learnt that when people chat you up, you don’t have to reply immediately, you can wait till you have time. And if you don’t want to chat, you can end the conversation by giving answers that leave no room for dialogue, in a very polite manner. Eventually, people get the message, and just leave you alone.

For the past one month now, I have uploaded about 5 DPs of the quotes I make for Instagram, and the few responses have been positive, yet not intrusive. I really want people to learn from the quotes, which is why I braved up the courage to start uploading again. I think people just get the message after a while, and leave you alone.

I have been a good girl for the past one month. If BBM monitoring spirits start manifesting again, I might be forced to go back into hiding.

Is there anyone who feels my plight, or am I the only strange one here?

The Year called 2015 - My life as the Boss of all

Happy new year to all of you. How was your break. How was 2015? And what would you do differently in 2016?

2015 was a great year. I achieved almost everything I set to achieve, except one thing. I set out to live a well-balanced life this year, because I suffered burnout in 2014, and I was able to do that.

I suffered a setback in the second quarter, but it didn't get me down. The devil tried, but I dusted it and moved on. Depression is a terrible and dark thing, and I am not going down that road.

I had serious peace of mind this year. It was as if the Holy Spirit came down on me, and gave me grace to deal with things I couldn't control. I stopped seeing some things as a disadvantage, but rather, as stepping stones to greater heights.

The first half of the year was majorly me getting some necessary credentials to further my business and career. I like reading, but I don't like school book, so this took a lot of psyching for me. I put my head down, spent time, spent money (loads and loads of it), and went back to school, lol. I read (oh gosh I read my head out), cos I hate failing (you all know that), and A- or B for me is a failure (a mindet I developed in 2007). So I read and read and got board-certified as Holistic Practitioner of Trichology and Advanced Cosmetic Scientist (Two different schools).

I got awards, accolades, recoginitions, plaques, etc. I became an industry-expert.

I gave myself to my teenage students wholly. If you ever invited me to do anything on a Saturday or Sunday, and I declined, well, they are the reason. At the end of the year, I won Coordinator (Teacher) of the year in my teen's church. I honestly think it was the grace of God, cos I don't consider myself that selfless.

I did less spoken word performances than I did in 2014, but oh boy, I made more money in 2015 because my fees increased, and I turned down some performances due to clash in schedule, unavailability due to travel, etc.

I became more diplomatic and more emotionally intelligent in 2015. Teaching the new era teenager and handling about 7 leadership roles would do that to you.

I was the most conscious of my diet and my work outs this year (my mum would ask what weight I am trying to lose). No I wasn't on a weight loss goal, but an active lifestyle is my fuel, and I need to keep my energy level high.

I read only 19 books this year, the lowest I've done in a long time. It's because I kept picking this books that were bigger than the bible to read, lol, such as Les Miserables, My life by Bill Clinton, etc. I'm sure I'd do better next year. P.S: If you see a book called It's Your Time by Joel Osteen, please don't bother reading it. It's just a waste of time, with no real foundation. I have nothing against Joel Osteen o, but men, do yourself a favour and read something else.

Someone called me from UK, and started telling me things like "Nigerian economy is bad, you guys are in trouble, everything is down for you." I smiled and said "Nigerian economy might be bad, but my economy is not bad." And no, this is not motivational speaking, it is pure business sense. I will clarify to you guys in December 2016.

I rocked 2015 like a Boss

But mehn, 2016 is going to blow my mind.

This is my mantra for 2016: A LOT CAN CHANGE IN ONE YEAR.

With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I'm going to be spending this year gunning down challenges like a gangstar (only a word artist can use Holy Spirit and gangstar boss in the same sentence, and get away with it). See my game face below, if you don't believe.

WHY 2016 WOULD BE LIKE OTHER 2015 FOR MOST PEOPLE – A different perspective

(Balancing religious intoxication with the dawning of reality)

While I don't believe in the mob mentality of New Year resolutions, new year- new me crap because I believe you don't have to wait for a new year to get your life back on track, by December 31 and January 1 of every year, I become a total snob. I basically shut myself from the world, do some serious goal scoring, pray for direction, re-evaluate things and do another set of goal-setting that would be scored at the end of the year.

This has worked for me for years. And to the people who ask how come I've been able to achieve a lot in such a little time on earth. That’s it. It's my personal brand to keep my promises to people, so I apply it to my life. I keep my promises to myself.

After returning from crossover service on Jan 1, I saw all the BBM updates on my year of divine manifestation, taking territories, etc., just like it is every year. The social media frenzy was so much that I did a double take, just like I do every year.

Yet, just like every year, with the millions of declarations generated from billions of Nigerian churches, nothing really ever changes for most people. The spiritual high eventually faded away sometime between 2nd of January and 14th of February. So how do we balance New Year religious intoxication with reality?

1. Be specific and practical. In all our religious brouhaha, we like to throw around big vague terms that make us feel spiritual and holy, but we know they are just words. We say this is my year of divine manifestation, I’m soaring on eagle’s wings, this is my year of taking territories.
What is divine manifestation, soaring higher, next level, taking territories? These are powerful words that can change people's lives, and at the same time, be a gold vessel of emptiness in the lives of others. When you hear such words, don't just 'key into it'. Personalise it. Ask yourself 'what does it mean to me?' How does it apply to my life?

Divine promotion to a vulcanizer means that your brand new tire should tear on the way. The more torn tires, the more promotion for him. While divine promotion to you means on your way to that life-changing meeting, nothing must happen to your tire.

If promotion is every year at your place of work, and you get promoted once this year, just like everyone else, is that really divine? What exactly do you need to happen for you to ascertain that indeed, you have been divinely promoted? Be specific and write it down .

Before you start screaming “I’m taking territories,” What does taking territories mean to you? I'm sure you are not thinking of using a time machine to travel back in time to join the Israelites and fight alongside Joshua. So you need to be specific to your own situation. What does a territory mean to you? How are you going to take territories?

Does it mean you are going to buy more physical territories (land) this year? Or does it mean you are taking market place industries?

Who are you taking in the territory from? The devil or another human being

If it is the devil, have you been practicing using the armour of God? How many scriptures can you fight with if the devil hits you unawares this very second?

If it is another man's territory, how are you going to take it? Will you steal it from him? Or worse, will you kill him like they did in the Old Testament?

Or will you follow the rules of wealth-transference by providing services to him, which you have now become an expert at and they have no choice but to come to you?

What exactly does taking territories mean to you? Be specific and write it down. Don't just be using vague religious clichés, because it was declared in church.

2. Watch your tongue
Nigerians take first position when it comes to idle and careless talk. I heard we are the most prayerful nation, so it's such an irony that we have the most caustic tongue on social media and in real life
"The economy is bad, Nigeria is doomed, Buhari is a terrible leader, there's no hope, pastors are just fetish and corrupt...

KEEP QUIET! Seriously, if there’s ever any year to shut up, this is the year

I shake my head at the intensity of some people's words. After you have used all your might to receive prophesy, you use your tongue to destroy what God wants to do.  Your mouth would follow the direction of your tongue. Run away from idle babbles, and steer-off social media beer parlour discussions.

It's not compulsory to talk on social media. I had 14 posts (not links) on Facebook last year, but it looked to the whole world like I had about 200 posts because the very few posts gathered steam. It is intentional. The posts (whether video or text) were carved intentionally to be positive and project something. For this reason, I’m impressed when people say “we always see you on Facebook” considering that I was hardly on Facebook.

If you don't have any good thing to say about your situation or that of the country, don’t say anything. The wise people are the ones who have been able to create success by their choice of words. BE WISE so that you won't sing the same song by the end of the year

Lastly
3. Irrespective of prophesies and annual church declarations, your year would not be different if you don't start taking actions.

After prophesying and declaring, if you resume Monday morning, doing the same thing you did last year, I can assure you that you would be singing the same song you sang at the end of 2015 when 2016 comes to an end. And then you'd be anxiously waiting for 2017 to come, so you can make the same old mistakes

I won't talk of goal setting, goal scoring, SMART rules, vision boards (these are the tools I use, anchored on scriptures and revelations), etc. because the purpose of this post isn't really to tell you how to achieve your goals in 2016.

It is to let you know that in all your New Year intoxication, due to the fact that a new year has magically turned you a walking-on-water superman, just because your pastor prophesied and the annual church declaration has been released, it is really you and your actions that would make the change in the end.