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No, You cannot feed my Child!

What is it with Nigerians and their lack of understanding of boundaries? When we were children, our parents constantly drummed into our ears not to collect food from strangers, so you would assume that in today’s world, strangers with good intentions would respect themselves and not even give your children food without the parents’ permission.

My first son is at that age where he’s too old of a toddler to sit in one spot, yet too young to understand instructions like “don’t collect food from strangers.” Because of this, I’m having to do extra monitoring because of some people who just don’t know better.

Earlier this year, I went to the passport office to renew my passport. In the room where I was to capture, my 17 month old son was running around freely and I was awaiting my turn, while monitoring him with my eyes in the very small room. I looked away for about for about a minute, and he had walked towards one of the officers, who was eating small chops, and she inserted puff puff into his mouth just as I turned my head back towards him.

Twenty minus one ways my pregnancy journeys were different

I discovered I was pregnant in September 2018. I missed my period, and that was it. Unlike my first pregnancy, this was intentional on my path. There was unprotected sex, and the period was unsafe, and it happened. You remember when our parents used to lie to us that if a man dare looks at you, you will get pregnant, I am that person. My initial plan was to start trying in October 2018, but decided to start in September because I was too eager, and to get a head start in case September didn’t work out. I have only had unprotected sex in an unsafe period only once in my life, and I have been pregnant twice. So it is safe to say, I need to stay away from men as from today, lol.

After getting pregnant, I expected many things to go the same way my last pregnancy went, except the red degeneration of fibroid of course. I was quite surprised when a lot of things went differently. Looking at it with a bird’s eye view now, I believe this pregnancy was better for me than the previous one. I’m not exactly sure why, but one thing I know is that I was far more active this pregnancy, and went to gym, did treadmills, skips, and hard core work outs well over 30 weeks of my pregnancy.

Below are the similarities and differences I noticed in my two pregnancy journeys. Some of them took me by surprise, but most were pleasant.

Call me Mum of Boys: Two Under Two

Hello Beautiful people. It's been a minute since I last blogged. I took an unintentional break because I was concerting a lot of spiritiual and physical energy in other areas of  my life. A lot has happened in the past few months, scratch that, in the past one year, the most significant of them being that I had a new addition to my family six days ago, on the 18th of June, 2019. One thing I can say is that this boy is a warrior, and a victorious one at that. I honestly believe that if he is shot now, the bullet will deflect from his skin, lol. That is why he is called Lyon.

I currently do not have official pictures of him, so you will help me manage the ones below. In my usual fashion, if you know me, you will know that I will be doing a series on his journey soon. The story is actually more spiritual than physical, so if you are in a phase of believing for something, that looks like it is not forthcoming after such a long time, you want to stay tuned. Don't worry, you won't be waiting for too long, as you will be hearing from me before you can finish saying the word LYON.


Two under Two

A completely honest post: The downside of marriage and motherhood

I interviewed some very smart young ladies over the phone this past weekend. I asked them for feedback over the shortcomings they have noticed on my business page. While their answers were very revealing to me, what struck me was the fact that majority of the trends in my life that I am currently not satisfied with was largely due to my fault.

I have been complaining of less productivity, declining results, etc. But as I traced the timeline in my head, I realised that this negative trend started when I got married, and later started growing my family. It is not that I became lazier or laid back, but I completely ditched some important aspects of my business, and outsourced what I couldn't ditch to people. Outsourcing is not bad, but I didn't occasionally supervise the outsourced areas. And I also realised that the parts I ditched should never have been ditched in the first place, at least, not for so long. This is because this is actually the engine that ran the entire business, something I was completely oblivious of.

Ever since I got married and started building a family, my creativity has been on the decline. Sometimes, I look at old articles and quotes, and ask "was I really the one who wrote these things? Where is my former brain?" It's like since I left my parents' house, my brain has shut down. After I had my son in 2017, I have been under constant pressure (self-imposed), I hardly smile, I can't remember when last I genuinely laughed, my level of productivity has declined, taking my income along with it. I like to think that I've been able to balance motherhood, marriage, and business, but if I am not producing as much result as I used to, then the balance is just an illusion. The truth is I haven't yet found a rhythm that works for me, like I had in my single days. It's like the world is moving forward, while I am receding

Please, if anyone reading this has gone through, or is going through what I am currently going through, let me know in the comment section. If you are already out of it, how were you able to free your mind from being held back.

P.S: I am talking about lack of, or decline in productivity and results, as a result of change in marital status or motherhood, not marital pressure in itself

Death gives no hoot about your plans!

On Friday Morning, as I was just about stepping out of the our for my daily business, I got a call from my brother that my maternal grandmother had just passed. Honestly, I was shocked, and this caused me to scream and then start crying loudly. She was my last surviving relative, and she raised me for the first two years of my existence on earth.

I was quite close to her, but I recently started withdrawing from her, because I just couldn't handle her deteriorating state well. At the age of 81 going on 82, we had to forcefully move her from her house to my house (the one I lived with my original nuclear family) so she could be well looked after.

She died at 84 going on 85, with her mind very intact, but her body getting weaker by the day. I didn't go to the house this year to see her. The last time I went to the house was December 30th, for our annual party. I went to her room, greeted her, hugged her, and left after about 5 minutes. I promised to see her again before leaving, but I didn't. This is not a note of regret, but a statement of the facts. Before this, I have never dealt with gradual loss. Every other close loss I've suffered were sudden. If you have been following this blog for a while, you will know my dad was shot and killed by armed robbers at 47, and my cousin was hit by a driver who was texting while driving, while cousin was changing his tire.

Dear Pastor's Wife, It takes both parties to make marriage work

Last week, I saw a flyer on Instagram, where a pastor's wife was calling for women to pray and fast for their husbands for 31 days (all through the month of March). I did not like the feeling the flyer generated in me.

I wanted to like the idea and the thought for calling for a prayer watch, but I did not, and I didn't like that I didn't like the idea... at all. Imagine if everyone is good, and you want to be good also, but you keep being bad, and you don't like the fact that you are bad. You know you should be good, but there's something about this 'good' that doesn't sit well with you... that's exactly how I felt.

I feel every woman should pray for her husband, because under normal circumstances, if it is well for your husband, it would be well for you too. They should also pray for their children. It is normal for most religious women to pray for their entire households, because there's something about a woman's heart that is always drawn towards her home, and its well-being. And for Christian women who are not very prayerful, but desire to be, or ones just struggling with their prayer lives, which is quite common, this special call for 'prayers for husbands' would most likely encourage them to catch the prayer train.

However, the question is... where are the men? Are they praying for their wives?

Elections 2019: My voting experience - The Good, The Sad, and The Lessons

My marked thumb to indicate I had voted

Hello everyone, how was your weekend? How did the elections go in your area? Did you vote?

My area was very peaceful. Yes, there were loads of people, but that was the only unpleasant part. As we proceeded to our polling unit, it struck me how people were having different experiences trying to cas their votes at their polling units. At mine, we had tents, chairs, people taking and calling numbers and names with megaphones, all in an orderly manner. The estate's management and resident volunteers went through great lengths to make sure that the whole thing was conducted well. A former classmate of mine said this was also the case in his estate, only that their estate shared packs of rice and smoothies to all voters. All INEC officials were just doing in my estate was accreditation, and handling of ballot papers. They arrived late though (around 10.30am when some voters had been there since 6.00am).

My experience was the complete opposite of some other people's. Some got to their polling units at 11am, and both INEC officials and residents were confused as to what to do to organise themselves. After sometime, it would occur to someone to take numbers, and eventually, they would find their way through the chaos, and eventually vote. I even saw a video where some ballot boxes and papers were scattered on thr ground, and burnt, but I cannot ascertain the authenticity of the video, when it comes to date, time, and location, though it was rumoured to be on Saturday at Okota.

Seeing these contrasts, I came to a conclusion that an environment is basically shaped by the kinds of people in that environment. It is no wonder some parents will pull an arm and a tooth to make sure their children are raised in specific types of neighbourhoods, even though it is not very convenient for them.

Your Passion is BULLCRAP if...

Hello beautiful people, how are we doing? If you are in Nigeria, I hope you have recovered from last week’s heartbreak. No, I am not talking about Valentine ’s Day, lol. I’m talking about the elections that were supposed to hold on Saturday, February 16th. My heart goes out especially everyone who made unimaginable sacrifices to make sure they could vote last Saturday, such as travelling across the country, shutting down businesses, sleeping in terrible environments, travelling in from outside Nigeria, etc. Please, don’t give up or get tired. We will prevail in the end.

I belong to a WhatsApp group of my former classmates in University. For some time now, nothing serious or life-changing happens on that group. The only thing worthy of note on that group is that one lady terrorises us with political broadcasts, mainly highlighting her anti-Buhari sentiments, and how bad the country is. It is really annoying because the group consists of all kinds of people with different political leanings, but this lady doesn’t display social media etiquette, so I guess it doesn’t matter to her.  Most of her broadcasts are ignored by everyone on this group, but I can guess people are always inwardly rolling their eyes when she posts. As for me, I just wished she would know better and stop. 99% of what she forwards can’t be verified, and are inflammatory.

This morning, this lady put up an online voting poll where people where voting for their preferred candidates, indicating that Buhari was going to lose, and Atiku would win overwhelmingly. A friend of mine replied her saying, social media polls can’t be taken with a pinch of salt because most people on social media don’t have PVCs, and many of the voting population are on the streets, not on social media.

Imagine my shock when she responded saying, even she doesn’t have a PVC.