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Knowing when to Speak up and when to Zip it up!

What do you do when...

You meet your friend who is currently in a relationship or courtship, and you know without an iota of doubt that should this courtship lead to marriage, there’s bound to be misery, which might or might not lead to divorce? I mean, all the red flags are waving dangerously in your face, and giving you cold shivers, but you don’t really want to say anything because you don’t feel it’s your place.

If this person was a chummy buddy of yours, whom you could share everything except toothbrush and underpants with, it would have been easier for you to speak up, like hot knife on butter. But even though this person is your very good friend, you are not close.

So you feel you are in a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation.

I met a lady out of the country about 3 years ago. We started talking because we needed to work together in the hair care industry. I met her in 2014 for the first time. Between 2014 and 2015 when I met her for the second time, we had grown a bit closer, and I knew she had started a relationship. Anyway, during my next visit to her, I noticed few red flags.

The worst Uber driver I ever encountered

I've had a number of experiences using Uber, mostly pleasant. I started using Uber long before they came to Nigeria, mostly because I go to some cities that have wacky transportation system, like Los Angeles, etc. The major attraction for me when traveling somewhere is how easily I can move around without having to inconvenience my host, and some cities do a poor job of providing that.

I've used Uber in Lagos Nigeria only twice. Most of my Uber trips have been in different states in US and quite uneventful

Last week, I decided to take an Uber ride from one part of Houston to the other. The first red flag was that the driver was on a 4 star rating. Any Uber rider knows that this is pretty low for Uber, and personally, this is the lowest Uber rating I've ever encountered. I heard that they allow as low as 3 star rating in Nigeria, I’m not sure though.

I made up my mind right then that I would give her a 5 star rating in order to improve the driver’s rating so the driver doesn't get kicked out of Uber services. I always give Uber drivers 5 stars though, so this wasn’t a big deal.

My ride came as planned, and the driver was an Asian female, most likely Chinese or Hong Kong, from the way she looked.

It was supposed to be a 1 hour 20 minutes trip. She picked me up and the ride was uneventful. She only asked if my house got flooded and if I was married (side eye).

Then after like 30 minutes of the trip, she said she would have to drop me along the way, and I should get another Uber ride because she doesn't have enough gas. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I felt this must be the joke of the century.

I asked if I was going to be billed for the whole trip, since my account had been debited. She said it would be just for the miles she drove. Right in the car, without allowing me to respond, she ended the trip! I decided that this lady won’t get a penny from me even if it was my last blood I had to give.

How Tropical Storm Harvey affected me personally

I was on my way to Houston when Harvey struck Houston. Before the trip, it had been hitting other towns in Texas but I didn't know Houston would be affected.

While all the news about how bad Houston was hit was flying round the world, I was either somewhere in Cairo, or up in the sky, doing my own flying.

I got to JFK, where I was supposed to be on transit to Houston and I was slammed with the bad news.

Girl, you are not going anywhere today

The storm was terrible and the airport had been closed.

It was like my own hurricane hit me. This kind of thing had never happened to me before. I'm not supposed to be in New York now. Where in the world am I going to sleep? Where am I going to get unplanned money to spend? I was devastated.

The airline wasn't going to cover for inconveniences because it wasn't on an international leg, and it fell under natural disasters. They put me on the flight for the next day.

I counted my loss and went to sort myself out. After all, it was only for one day. Right?


My short but interesting interview on Wazobia Max

Hello people. Hope we are all doing well? Sorry for the absence of post last week... and yesterday. Been trying to clear up some last minute tasks in a jiffy.

I got invited to appear on Hello Nigeria, on Wazobia Max, as the inspirational woman of the week sometime last month. Even though the interview was short (in my opinion), it was enjoyable. And I like the fact that the video was put on youtube some days later, for my records. I don't understand why they titled the video with what they did though, lol.

Looking at how my cheeks appear, it's apparent that TV definitely makes me look bigger. Or maybe it's just Wazobia Max screen, lol.

I talked about several aspects of my life, and was able to cover a lot in such a short spate of time. I will appreciate it if you can watch the nterview below, and give me feedback, or just say what you think about it.

Expecting your comments. Thank you lovelies

My last major fight with my Mother

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I grew up in a house ruled by fear!

Well, that could be considered an exaggeration.

What I meant to say is that the fear of my mum was the beginning of wisdom. Being a school teacher who would later go ahead to work with my dad in his company, it was no surprise that she was a strict disciplinarian. She made it her life's mission to make sure that her children were 'not spoilt'

Caning, spanking and painful punishments were regular guests in the house that sometimes stayed for days on end.

There were advantages to the way my mum raised us but of course there were several disadvantages. The pros included raising disciplined children, who got to learn values very early in life and so much more.

One of the cons is that you will probably not be very close to your parents I.e. You won't be able to open up to them or give them intimate details about your life. This would most likely linger into adulthood.

Another con was that you tend to fear your parents very early in life. This means that you do the right things mostly out of fear, like “I dare not disobey mum or else I'm dead”

And then you grow up to the point where you have to make your own decisions. You are no longer motivated by fear of your mum. It's at this point that some kids choose to rebel. After all, what can mummy do to me? All she would do is shout and shut up. Kids always grow up to be immune to shouting and threatening parents.

Now the danger is if there was no other motivation to do the right things apart from the fear of your parents, you would most likely not do the right things when that fear fizzles out

In my own case, it played out in a funny way.

When bloggers go too far... just for a story

Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who read and commented on my last blog post. I can see women don't joke with sensitive issues like this.

I ended up calling my client, and she seems to be doing very fine now. She will resume the new job, and see how it turns out, although from what is currently being said, the new job seems offer a supportive environment to women, and enables them balance career and family. If you haven't read it, please do by clicking here, and lending your voice. This is because my client read the post, and is actually seeing the comments. So you can use the comment section to get to her.

Image result for how far is too far
So something odd happened last week after the post was published. I was getting calls from a 'private number', which I kept cutting off because my number was recently used in a spam text, causing so many unknown numbers to call me, including 'private numbers'.

The person kept calling, so I picked, with the intention of cutting it immediately. Alas, I heard the voice of a well-spoken lady, who is a blog reader.

How the toilet changed her life forever

N:B- This post has been edited, by removing very descriptive details, to protect the identity of my client. 

By the virtue of my job as a trichology practitioner, I encounter women of all ages, varying backgrounds and life experiences, at my hair clinic

Many times, during consultation we have to go down to the personal area of their lives, and I must say, this is one of the things I enjoy most about my work as a trichology practitioner. The fact that women who were previously strangers to me can forget their inhibitions and get personal with me.

Recently, I was discussing with a mother of three. She's a very young career woman, basically got married early. She took a year off her career to focus on her family, and will be resuming a new job soon. When it comes to family support and child care, she's blessed with a supportive mother in law and good domestic hands. She seems to have it all, and obviously, she's basically done with child birth (she has both genders)

Anyway, in the course of our discussion, it was revealed that her IUD had fallen out for sometime, and she wasn't aware, so she continued having sex with her husband, assuming she was protected all these while. It wasn't until the stuff came out while she was using the toilet (hence the topic), that she realized she hadn't been protected. At least, let's thank God it didn't get stuck in her system and cause infections or some other serious internal problems for her.

As at the time she came for consultation, she was waiting for her period, and her hCG level couldn't have been high enough to give a definitive pregnancy test result.

Anyway, some days later, she told me she was pregnant!

The most complex project I have undertaken!

Yaayy! I can't keep calm!!! The third edition of Rhyme and Reason, which we have tagged Eversion is here. Last year's own, Excision is the dopest event I've attended, and I say so, not because it is my event, but because it is true.

I believe, by the grace of God, that Nigeria is about to experience something like it has never before experienced. This is because Eversion will be the first Rap and Spoken Word Musical in Nigeria. Just think about being on broadway, watching Phantom of the Opera, but instead of the dialogue to be in music and normal speech, it is Rap and Spoken Word instead. The whole production started in January, and a lot of work has gone into it.

This is by far, the most complex project I have undertaken. From sourcing for sponsors, to running a very large organising team (the best ever). As you can tell, it is one storyline, typical of a musical. Eversion focuses on child sexual abuse in the family, which is something that's very rampant, but very hush hush (yes, it is PG13).

It is happening at The Lekki Coliseum next Saturday, 15th July, 2017, and I hope to see you all there.

Here's the trailer below. I just couldn't keep you away from it's dopeness

Some pictures of our boot camp

The film director and his crew

Some of the back up singers

Some of the rappers

Some of the dancers

Some of the instrumentalists

As you can tell, it is quite a robust production, but I won't be able to let the main cat out of the bag.

In order not to make this post a very long one, I will stop here, and end by giving us a list of where we can get tickets for now.

1. All Filmhouse cinema (IMAX) outlets in Lagos

  • Filmhouse Surulere, Leisure Mall, Adeniran Sreet, Surulere, Lagos
  • The Rock Drive Off Bisola Durosinmi Etti Drive Lekki Phase 1

2. Terra Kulture (the bookshop)
Plot 1376, Tiamiyu Savage, Off Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos

3. The following Tastee Fried Chicken Outlets

  • TFC Head Office, Plot 1672, Oyin jolayemi Street, VI
  • 106, Awolowo Road, Oando Filling Station, Ikoyi 
  • Oando Fuel Station, Chisco Bus Stop, Ikate, Lekki  
  • 49C, Marina, Lagos
  • 21, Opebi Road, Ikeja, Lagos
  • 22 Road,2nd Avenue,Festac Town
  • 16, Catholic Mission Street, Opposite City Hall, Lagos Island

4. Lekki pickup zone
Lush Mall. 26a, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Lagos.

5. University of Lagos
Call Mayowa on 08121582434

6. Ariiya Tickets

7. Spiricoco

8. We also deliver tickets to your doorstep in Lagos (not outskirts). Delivery is free!
For more information on ticket purchase, please call 07061141501

See you all there next Saturday. When you see me, make sure you shout my name, so I can meet you up. :)