Monday, May 2, 2016

How do bleating marriages survive?

Source
I hear that for two people to survive in any kind of relationship, if one is a goat, the other must be a sheep. So what happens when two people have a strong inclination to being goats? It invariably means one of the goats must consciously shed his goat personality and be a sheep.

If this happens continuously, then the goat-turned-sheep begins to resent the goat-remained-goat. So how are they to truly survive in this relationship? Not the kind of survival where everyone is just there doing their own thing, but pretending to the whole world and on social media that everything is fine, and they are the best couple in the world by displaying their well painted horns online. But the kind of survival where both goats are truly happy as a couple and individual Bucks and Does

My question is can two people who have very strong personalities have a good marriage... truly good marriage void of resentment?

I have never been married before, so I would like to hear from you all, both married and single.


Monday, April 25, 2016

Now that you've killed me... The big question


The Beating Goes On (2013)
by Sigi Kolbe

With bitterness in your heart, You looked me in the eye, Thought of the government that failed you
Stabbed me in the chest after you tightened the noose you wrapped round my neck
Pulled the trigger that took my life, But took your soul in turn, and now that I’m gone
Does it make you a better person

You came home drunk, met me happy
Looked me in the eyes, but my excitement filled you with spite
You dragged me down the stairs
Ripped my fragile strands of hair off my scalp, the look on my face now that of fear
My head continuously bouncing off the descending steps like a Bball in the hands of Larry bird
Like an iterative step, you repeated the process over and over again
Cos stupid me was ready to stick with you over and over again
Till my life refused to stay one last time
And in protest, it said goodbye the final time
Now that I’m dead, with no more human bags for you to punch without reason
So tell me, has it made you a happier person?


This was a piece I wrote as part of a script for one 'Stop the Violence' spoken word video campaign I was involved in two years ago. We were 6 artists involved in the project. As usual, everyone wrote about why domestic violence is bad. I chose to flip mine, and write it in the voice of the abused, specifically when she was already dead.

I did this because, I know of men that beaten their wives to death. My friend never grew up with her mum because of this. The last memory of her mum she had was of her giving birth to twins in the labour ward after the husband beat the living daylight out of her, and the woman just gave up. Maybe she never wanted to return to the man alive anyway. My friend was about 10 years old, now left with 4 younger siblings. She became a mother very early. 

I have another story of my friend's aunt whose husband beat to death also. A former friend of mine also almost choked his wife to death. He was not remorseful. She still didn't want to leave him after that. He was even the one who kicked her out, with two kids that were less than 3 years old.

My question is how do these men feel, knowing they are the cause of their wives death? Are they remorseful, are they relieved? Do the faces of their children send them constant reminders, and cause them to repent, or are they happier? 

I don't have the anwer to the above question, but that was what inspired my part of the script.

So do you know anyone that has killed his wife in the process of wife battery? If yes, can you let us know, in the comment section, how he felt long afterwards?

You can watch the video project below.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Heat vs Cold. Which kills faster?



I spoke to someone who told me what she had been doing to cope with the heat. It is not news that the global warming is fast becoming a global warning, and it is not smiling with us in Lagos again. To make things worse, situations like this that would have been a non-issue by people sorting themselves out with their generators has now become a big deal because people don’t have fuel to power their generators. This season has become a leveller, and the number of people who can now form ‘status’ have drastically reduced.

Back to the story, she said she couldn’t sleep, no matter how much she tried. No amount of baths or manual ‘fanning’ could stop the heat. So she took her cover cloth, dipped it inside water, and squeezed it. In its damp state, she laid it on the bare ground, lay on it, and immediately, she was able to sleep.

I saw the sense in what she was trying to say. I was hot, so I created a soothing situation for my body, and it cooled me down. But alarm bells rang in my head. Was that even healthy for the body, especially the bones?

Is sleeping on something wet the way to go? Wouldn’t that lead to hypothermia or anything similar? I understand adjusting the temperature of the environment to regulate the weather and our bodies’ reaction to it. But sleeping directly on wet cloth?

Maybe some have tried it in the past, and it has worked. I am not a medical doctor, so I can’t give a definitive answer to this. But it doesn’t sound like something healthy for our body.

What do you think?

Monday, April 11, 2016

The making of Yoruba Demon(ess)es



The pressure on young ladies to get married is real. It is like if a man doesn’t find you, then do yourself a favour and find a man. Many women therefore hustle to get this done, and once this is achieved, Hallelujah, we can now move to stage two.

This stage is where things get comical, where the ladies have to insert themselves into their boyfriend’s families, especially in Yoruba culture. I have seen demons turned to angels, stingy girls suddenly become Santa Claus, introverts turned extroverts, just to make sure they are accepted at first. The ploy to spoil the in-laws is very real.

In Yoruba community, the communal culture and respect is very important. In-laws seem to have so much power. They can make or mar the woman’s marriage if the man is not strong or mature enough to shield his family from external influences.

I therefore see the fake smiles plastered on young girl’s faces when they are with in-laws, the unwilling courtesies bestowed on every family member, the loads and loads of bribes disguised as gifts. The thing is the in-laws know these things too, in many cases. But what do they care? After all, they are the beneficiaries of these things.

Coming from a very small and private family, I have always wondered I would be able to fake my way through this process. Thankfully, my mother always told me to be myself, and not to start what I can’t finish. There’s no need going to a man’s house, and fawning over your mother in law if you are not a natural fawner.

You hear Yoruba ladies who sight their in-laws, and they go “Oh mummy, you are looking so young, your skin is glowing o, mummy. This your hair, where did you make it? Ha, you like fixing? Don’t worry, when next I’m coming, I will buy Peruvian for you, bla bla bla.” They say all these, knowing 90% of everything is a LIE. She isn’t glowing or looking younger. In fact, her hair isn’t properly made.

I have seen a situation where there was a lot of fake fawning. It was so bad that I just had to walk away in irritation.

The unfortunate thing is that such acts cannot be sustained. After a while, the real person comes out, and the in-laws feel cheated because they feel the initial actions were just a front to get into the family, and they start saying things like the woman is a pretender. They might even tag her a Yoruba Demon who is just showing her true colour.

One of my closest friends is from a family of 4, i.e. she has just one sibling, her brother. She got married into a royal family. When she was courting, she used to tell me of how they used to be at the family house every weekend, cos there was always one party or the other. She would enter a room, and there could be as much as 50 in-laws seated in a circle. The bad part was that you couldn’t stand in the middle of the circle, and greet them all at once. Each in-law would require his/her own greeting. Even though my friend was a natural fawner, it was just too much. It was at that point I knew I could never get married into a royal family.

My friend has been married for 6 years now, and they don’t go to the family house or buy aso ebi every weekend anymore. They don’t do all those greeting of 70 people. In fact, they stay away as much as they can. It just wasn’t sustainable.

My opinion is that if you are a naturally polite, friendly, respectful and well-raised person, there won’t be need for fake smiles or shady compliments whenever you have to meet in-laws. Even if you are quiet and reserved, your character will shine through and speak for you. You will naturally understand that there are some places you shouldn’t go empty handed the first time. It won’t be bribery or effort to win people to your side so you can get the man to propose, it would just be second nature.

The main thing is just to be yourself, and people would love you for you.

Monday, April 4, 2016

The strings that connect Everyone

Hi people. How is everything? So much has been happening in my life lately. I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, hardly getting sleep. And still, work must continue, Rhyme and Reason is this June. The thing is we still can't afford to drop any ball cos excuses don't get the job done. My life is changing rapidly before my eyes, and I don't feel prepared for this transition.

Because of this, I can't even cook up a proper blog post for you all, so please, enjoy the piece I have posted below. It is about what everyone, irrespective of who you are, rich, poor, sinner, saint, tall, short, white, black, handsome, ugly, will go through. Please read till the end, cos there's a climax.

Everyone is born
Everyone lives
Everyone hurts once in a while,
no matter how rock hard everyone tries to be or how everyone tries to hide it with a fake smile
Everyone feels pain
Everyone feels their problem is peculiar to them alone
Everyone feels isolated sometimes
whether rich, poor, kind, wicked, short, or tall
Because Everyone knows no one is immune to life’s rise and falls

Everyone feels loved at least, once in their life time
Everyone loves to live a lovely life, receive love, even though not Everyone might be able to reciprocate the lavish love on the one who loves them

Everyone has experienced insanity cos at a time
Everyone has taken an action
For which no one could offer a sane explanation,
but it doesn't matter because eventually, Everyone meets with the consequences for their actions

Everyone knows what it means to genuinely smile,
still Everyone knows what it means to cry from a heavy heart when love walks away by a thousand miles

Everyone has felt happy, sad, loved, disappointed, betrayed, angry, burdened
But Everyone knows that these emotions are unique to no one, so Everyone is not sympathetic since Everyone feels it is not a big deal

Everyone wants to live a good life,
have a yacht or two, and a house by the lakeside,
inexhaustible money in the bank, servants at their beck and call, anything to make this hard life worth living
Even though Everyone knows not Everyone will be willing…
or able to pay the shilling
it takes to get this life Everyone craves for so they could be chilling

Everyone has an assignment, a purpose, a destiny to fulfil
But sadly, not Everyone fulfils their dreams or understands their calling, and they get carried away by life’s deceptive thrills

In opinions and matters, Everyone thinks they are right
Which really is not bad, if at least, Everyone would learn to respects one another's rights
And then Everyone won't be facing potential danger caused by religious spite
And some who push their belief down everyone’s throats like peer-pressured high school drinkers forcing down their rum
resulting in so much intolerance which Everyone is now suffering from

Everyone says no one should be a quitter, and even quote quotes about quitters never being winners
But if Everyone thinks of it, in this, Everyone has been a hypocritical critic, because at least once, Everyone has quit something
Everyone fails at something, so Everyone shouldn’t feel bad if they fall, because of what Everyone will say,
cos the truth is Everyone can rise up again

Everyone has regrets, something they would erase if they could turn back the hands of time or repress
Everyone has secrets, something Everyone would gawk at
if they found out what scar Everyone was really hiding underneath their clothes, or the truth about the itchy scalp
covered by Everyone’s skull caps

Everyone doesn't want to grow old
But eventually Everyone grows old
Or at least Everyone prays to grow old
Because sooner or later Everyone realises that even though they didn't want to grow old, the only alternative would be to die young, and that is worse than growing old
Which, if Everyone really thinks of it, might not matter
Because at the end of the day,
Everyone dies

Monday, March 28, 2016

What do you do when witches are eating your hair?

(This post has appeared on africanaturalistas.com)

When I was in senior secondary school, I had a close friend who had a coin-sized patch at the left side of her head. That patch made her look very strange and weird, and she sometimes came late to school because she was having to attend one appointment or the other, in order to seek solution to her hair problems

One day, she confided in me and said they had seen a white garment pastor who said it was witches eating that part of her hair and anytime the hair tried to grow, witches would keep eating it.

She told me this in all seriousness, and so I took her very serious

But even at that age and exposure, I knew there was something a bit off about blaming witches for one’s hair loss. I mean, we have heard of witches drinking and sucking blood, and because of that wreaking havoc on human lives and hair, which I don’t even want to get into since this is not a religious or metaphysics blog.

But witches eating hair???

What exactly do they want to use the hair to do? How does the hair increase their power? It’s a different case if the seer said they were plucking it with their hands, so my friend could look unattractive to guys, and should affect her chances of marriage. But he said they were eating it. Oh puhleeaaassseee.

Oh Please
Source
Anyway, about a year or more later, the witches decided to stop eating my friend’s hair, and her scalp completely filled back up. Maybe they had done a lot of deliverance and anointing services, and the witches couldn’t resist the pastor’s powers anymore. And that was the end of the story.

Fast forward to this year, I suddenly remembered my friend, who is now a runway model, and I laughed. My career as a Holistic Practitioner of Trichology has exposed me to several cases of hair and scalp disorders.

So I began to replay the whole situation of my friend’s hair loss in 1997-1998. She had nothing more than Alopecia Areata. This is a form of here loss caused by an auto-immune disorder, where the body wrongly recognizes cells of part of the hair as harmful. And then, it begins to attack that area, and kill off all the cells, just like what chemotherapy is supposed to do to cancer cells.

Since it’s an auto-immune disorder, nothing can be done about it to treat it internally. In many cases, after a while, it corrects itself, and things go back to normal. The length of time it takes for it to correct itself varies from person to person. This condition, in many cases, is triggered by severe stress with a combination of other things.

Source
Of course, my friend and her family didn’t know this. They saw a very strange, inexplicable patch of her hair that wouldn’t fill up. They had no explanation for it, and the next thing was to resort to a white garment pastor who told them that witches had been eating her hair, thus sending them on a wild goose chase of anointing and deliverance. To be honest, I don’t blame them. We know that people fear what they don’t understand.

So the question now is… what do you do when witches are eating your hair? The answer is simple. Just see a trichologist!

Atilola Moronfolu (HPT) is a certfied hair care expert and a holistic practitioner of trichology certified and accredited by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners and Mahogany Hair Revolution, Los Angeles, California. You can visit her Hair Clinic website by clicking here. To book a hair clinical appointment with Atilola in Lagos Nigeria, send a mail to hairconsult@africanaturalistas.com or call 07061141501.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Please help me determine the next direction of my life

Where's everyone?

For sometime now, all the blogger oldies have been disappearing one by one by one, like water leaking from a bucket with a very tiny hole in it.

This has translated to the fact that if I still want to remain on blogger, I have to start deliberately making new blog friends, and accepting the fact that the old ones might never come back again, or would just come once in a six months to update us.

Making new blog friends isn't exactly a walk in the park. You have to DELIBERATELTY reach out to new people, drop blog links, etc. I also feel like the randomness of my blog style and op-ed write ups was what made sense to my old blog friends, but might not cut it for the new blog friends I want to make. This might also be evidenced in the fact that the kind of phase I'm entering into soon would not allow for such randomness.

This now means I might have to serious evaluation about this blog now. I mean at some point, I used to rake in 60 to 100 comments every week. Now, we are just doing 15 to 20. This goes to tell me that the Nigerian blogosphere has evolved. And what do they say about businesses that refuse to evolve with the times? They go under.

Another option would be to go under, i.e. shut down the blog. But I refuse to do that. Almost every (99%) blessing I enjoy in my life now i.e. career, business, marriage, travels, spoken word deals in and out of the country, etc. is directly or indirectly as a result of my presence on this blog. So shutting down the blog would be like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. Also, writing is my life. If I'm not writing for people to read, I'm sure I would just die.

Source
Another option would be to keep writing, but not consistently, so I don't feel any pressure. But knowing me, this would never happen. I'd just die of self guilt because consistency is what keeps me going in every area of my life. Either I'm in or I'm out. NO MIDDLE GROUND.

So how do I get this blog back to level it used to be before, and even surpass it? It means it has to evolve. Content wise, and audience wise?

And that brings me to the most difficult part. How? How do I evolve? A lot of people are now blogging about lifestyle, the places they go, review about the food they ate, etc. but that's not me. I want to be more intentional than that. I want people to come here, and not leave the same, I want people to look forward to visiting the blog every Monday

So what do I do?

Do I change the theme to entrepreneurship (That's not the only thing I am, and writing about business weekly seems like a boring thing to me)
My life as a spoken word artist (This is so limiting)
My life as an author (Too seasonal)
Do I stick to the randomness and just focus on finding new friends? (I think it has gotten me this far, but won't take me forward)
Do I have to do a minimal blog redesign?

So in short, I'm confused. You guys are wise. Can you give me suggestions on what to do, how to make this blog evolve? I've been feeling this burden for almost a year now, so give me that opportunity to bounce my ideas off you. Please don't look at the reasons I stated in the list just above, just advise of your own accord. Thanks

I'm eagerly looking forward to seeing what you would say to me.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Am I the legitimate daughter of my father?

As a child, I used to watch as my father jumped ropes. He did it with so much fluidity that it was like magic. It was as if his feet never left the ground, yet rope kept going over his head again and again and again. He was like the proverbial cat with nine lives, whose feet never landed, just his toes.

We all had our own jump ropes but ours was tattered with broken handles and worn out ropes. We skipped clumsily, bent our knees and jumped so high like we were trying to prove to the world that we had the potential to grow taller than our infancy would allow.

My dad was a fitness buff. Even in our days of living in flat, he bought table tennis boards and kept it in the compound for everyone to use, just so he could play on it, considering the fact that he couldn't put it in his apartment.

Even though I admired him, I never wanted to be like him because he called me a lazy girl. Every Saturday morning, he made me and my siblings lie down and do sit ups and crunches, something I detested and still do. He pinned my ankles and knees down and shouted “sit up, you can do it. Don't let your legs move.” And I replied loudly “I can't, I can't. I can't sit up if my knees don't move. When he saw that I really couldn't sit up, he will say “Ati, you are a lazy girl” and move on to my other siblings who were blessed with better fluidity than me.

You see, my father's definition of lazy girl was a lady who wasn't agile, active and nimble, who couldn't hold her head amongst men, especially in the career world. My mum's definition of a lazy girl was someone who couldn't hold her own in the kitchen and take care of the home. Between both of them, I obviously had no choice but to turn out to be superwoman if I didn’t want to fit into their differing standards of a “lazy girl.”

Fast forward to my teenage years, my dad tried to teach me to swim. By this time, I had changed my mind. I really wanted to be like my dad. I pleaded with him to teach me how to swim. “I'm traveling out this Sunday.” He would say. “I'm going to the gym by 7pm. If you can meet me at the office, we would go together and I will teach you.”

And so I would move mountains to make sure I was at his office by 7pm on a weekday, and off to La’ Campagne Tropicana we went. He would hold my stomach try to make me float and teach me. It was so difficult. After about 5 times of this kind of trips, I gave up. I had become a lazy girl once again. So every Sunday we went to La’ Campagne Tropicana. He did all his gyming and all while I just played around and watched him. But I guess watching him was the only training I needed at that time.

Thankfully, my father had been blessed with another daughter when I was a teenager. I guess he didn't want to make the same mistake of her turning into the same lazy girl I had become. So he started her fitness training while she was still a toddler. To the gym they went every Saturday. To be honest I couldn't be bothered with his new companion. He had found a new play child, and the pressure was now off me.

He taught her to swim, a feat he couldn't achieve with me. They danced together, raced around the house together, a bigger house this time. Together, their reality was different from mine, growing up in a flat, and my dad pinning my legs down and screaming “sit up sit up.” They were best friends.
On a Saturday, they went to the gym together, did their swimming lessons. That was his last day on earth. No he didn't die while swimming. I wish he did though, it would have been far better than the way he was gunned down. She was 6 then.  I doubt she remembers him much .

I used to be a dancer, and we would rehearse all night like it was nothing. I had the energy of twenty people compressed into my small body. But someday in my mid-twenties, I danced rigorously to 5 songs and got tired. At this point, I knew I had to take all my dad’s earlier warnings and get my fitness game on. I couldn’t be one of those women who in their forties looked like they were really in their forties, and would reminisce on how they used to be so agile and youthful before marriage and kids took their toll on them.

And so I picked up my skipping rope, dumbbells, shoes, fitness gears and all. Now every morning, I jump ropes with nimble feet and fluidity. I do more than my dad ever did. I squat, I lunge, I push up, I crunch, I kickbox, I do everything I’m challenged with. I am no more a lazy girl. I am now the daughter of my Dad.

A week after my 6th birthday, and
my Dad was 33, celebrating
his master's graduation. Although he
lied to me that the party was for both
of us when I kept pestering him.
Gosh he told me so many 'lies'. Lol

P.S: I really need you guys to help me with a good title for this post. Something that would instantly grab attention and make you want to read the post. Thanks

Monday, March 7, 2016

InterTribal Marriage can get you into trouble

First of all, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who volunteered to read my novel. You guys are far too kind. Even though I gave two weeks window for feedback, I already have two in already. At a point, I had to stop sending out the novels because I had already sent to 12 people, without counting. I might still send out to more people, if I don't get the feedback I require from others. Thank you. You pipu are just three mush, lol.


I was hanging out with my friends yesterday evening when something happened to inspire this blog post.

My friends (a guy and a lady) are engaged to be married this year.

Guy has been my friend for 14 years, since 2002. At a point, we were very close because we were in the same class and fellowship in university.

Girl has been my friend for about a year. We have ended up becoming extremely close friends. We work in the same department in church, with the teens.

Both are on fire for God. Girl is Yoruba, guy is Igbo, and they really love each other.

Again, they are getting married in a few months. Since it was Mother's Day, guy decides to call girl's mother to wish her happy Mother's Day.

So guy calls girl's mother and they start gisting and laughing. Girl's mother complains about something and next thing guy says "eeya, pele" obviously trying to commiserate in Yoruba.

Girl and I turned to look at each other and then look at guy. We shake our heads and say "see this one, he doesn't know what blunder he just committed."  Guy is oblivious and keeps on shining teeth with girl's mother.

Immediately he dropped, we didn't hesitate to school him about Yoruba and the culture of respect. In Yoruba culture, to talk to elders, you have to put 'e' in front. You can't just say "pele"

Thank God girl is from a sane family. In many Yoruba families, that single blunder is strong enough to get a marriage cancelled, that is if they ever allowed intertribal marriage in the first place.

We told guy that it would have even been worse if girl was the one who was Igbo and guy was Yoruba. Imagine girl going to her Yoruba in laws and telling her mother in law "pele". Heaven would fall after they've called family meeting on her head.

So people how do you do it? How do you respect people of another culture when you don't even know what parameter of the language is considered polite, and what is rude? Or should we just stick to our own tribe and not bother intermarrying? If you choose to intermarry, how does one avoid getting blamed for a blunder one doesn't even know exists?

What is your take?

Monday, February 29, 2016

If you can stomach this love affair, you can help me

Hi dearies. How are you all doing? Hope you are keeping your heads above water, and steering of random and idle words.

That time has come again, when I would ask for your help, lol. I never cease to ask for help, right? Well, I am humble like that.

It's been a while since I talked about books, writing, etc, on this page. In fact, I have not talked about book publishing since 2013. It was very intentional. Even though I did a lot of marketing of my books in 2012 and 2013, it was very tiring, and I decided I wanted to take a break from the whole self-publishing thing, and go the way of traditional publishing if I had the opportunity. As we all know, traditional publishing is almost non-existent in Nigeria. But then, when has something or the lack of something ever stopped me.

All I am trying to say now is I think I want to self-publish another book. In fact, the book is ready. It has been ready since the year 2013. No, it is not a collection of poems, short stories or comic write ups. It is a proper novel.

And this is where you guys come in. I need 10 people to read this book of mine, and assess it, giving their honest opinions, no holds barred.

I don't think it is a boring book, I think it is a page-turner, but there's a comma in this book...

It might rub some people the wrong way.

It features an affair between a young man and a teenage girl.

You see why it might be too sensitive for some people. Read the first paragraph of the book below.

Some people say loving a child the way one should love an adult is either a sign of mental illness or just plain depravity, but I beg to differ. There was definitely nothing sick or depraved about the love I had for (...). One thing about my love for her is that it is real, which is more than I can say about the ones many adults have for one another.

Anyway, I need 10 people to volunteer to read my novel. and then I would decide what to do next about this book of mine. I need book lovers to help me finish this beta reading in 2 weeks. Don't be scared, it won't be boring, lol.

All you need to do is put your email address in the comment session if you want to read this novel, or send your email address to hattylolla@yahoo.com, so I can mail the soft copy to you.

Please help me o. I need to earn in dollars this year, abeg. I gotta publish this book. Help me read this book, so my market can sell.

Monday, February 22, 2016

The Dummy's guide to making money during the Economic financial crisis

(Making the Inversely proportional equation work in your favour)


Do you know that every single second naira falls against the dollar, the monetary value of everyone who earns in naira drops. This means that if you were rated 40% poor last year, you have automatically become 80% poor now.

I am not here to trend-blog or complain about the economy. I just want to open your eye to some facts, and if possible, encourage you with some thoughts.

Before I start, I need to mention the fact that I am not an economist or financial expert. I am just a young business woman who understands mathematics very well. So we won’t be plotting supply and demand graphs, discussing 10 steps to wealth acquisition in the time of recession or spewing economic jargons that frankly no one likes to read. We would not be talking about the government, how to attract investors, diversify the economy, or all the things you have been reading and hearing since December 2015.

We would be talking about just one thing, and that is YOU. In fact, the whole of this article is going to be simplified into just two basic points that even the most simple-minded educated person can understand.

Firstly, to put it straight, this is the worst period to earn in naira, and spend in dollars. The more you do that, the poorer you become. So for now, if you want to buy foreign products, use the money you have earned in dollars. If you haven't earned dollars, please buy Nigerian products. It's that simple.

Now, that’s the first level, which is the most basic way to survive in these times. Earn in naira, spend in naira. The bite of the fall in naira will be reduced on you. But there’s a higher level.

If you are very observant, in this period in Nigeria, there are three categories of people. Firstly, the ones who are all over social media, schools, work, churches, mosques, etc. complaining about how terrible the economy is. I call them the victims.

Secondly, we have the decision makers, who are either trying to salvage the economy or sabotage the economy, depending on the divide you fall into. They are mainly people in the government, who get blamed for everything, ranging from why the naira has descended to a level lower than Jesse Pinkman did in Breaking Bad season 2, to why the cockroach we sprayed in our rooms last night with insecticide refused to die, to why we are having the 7th daughter in a row after trying to have a male child in vain. I call them the villains

And lastly, there are the wise people. They are the ones who at this moment are very quiet. They are not complaining. In fact, they are hiding undeground. They are taking advantage of this situation, and making serious money. That is what they do. They take advantage of every situation you drop them into, and turn it around for their goods. I am in this third category, and you can also join it.

Remember I said when you earn in naira, and spend in dollars, you become poorer. This is an inversely proportional equation. Therefore, the reverse is the case. When you earn in dollars and spend in naira, you become richer.

So you would think that in situations like this, many people would wake up to this reality, and take advantage of the situation, instead of complaining about how Buhari or Jonathan has ruined the economy.

The world is now a global village, so don’t think you cannot earn in dollars. Not only can you export products, you can export services and intellectual properties. When you write a book and sell on amazon, do you earn in naira because you are a Nigerian? No, you earn in dollars and pounds.
Google adsense pays bloggers in dollars. As an editor catering to writers all over the world, you would get paid in a foreign currency. There so many services you can sell on fiverr.com. The common factor here is that the market be international.

There are so many services you can sell all over the world without leaving the comfort of your room. You don’t even have to take your bath if you don’t want to. The days of people rushing to work every morning as the only option to earn income are fast plunging into oblivion. If you are still stuck in that era or mindset, get ready because the moving train is about to leave you behind.

This is the time when any idea you are developing should cross the boundaries of Nigeria. And if you are exporting physical products that are in wide demand, lucky you, it is your time to get rich while others are crying.

As a one-liner bonus, I’ve said this and would keep saying it. Watch your tongue. Don’t spew careless words this season. If you don’t have anything good to say about the economy or your situation, don’t say anything!

In essence, what I am saying is that it is not all gloom and doom that everyone seems to think it is. Don’t believe the inverse hype, people are getting rich. You can choose to join them or sing the bandwagon canary song. It is your choice. The question is “are you willing to put in the work it takes?”

Monday, February 15, 2016

I think there's something wrong with me

Please, don't be fooled by the title of this post. It is not as serious as it sounds.

But seriously, I think there's something about me. This is a secret I have never shared with anyone before. So it means the matter has reached the level of code red.

So I want to take about 5 minutes to lay my bed at night, but I end up spending 26 minutes because I am using 21 minutes to dance in between.

Yes, I dance in my room, alone, lots of times. So I am wondering... Is this normal?

On Saturday, while scheduling some blog posts, I had to restrain myself, to finish writing the blog post, before jumping up and dancing. It was like my body was just pinching me to get up and dance.

Please, is it normal? Lol.

And it is not just normal move body dance o. It is serious stepping, jumping, twisting, mad moves, Lol. And I always always always dance in front of the mirror. And no, it's not work out (I already work out vigorously every morning). I'm also not trying to lose weight (I have no weight to lose)

I used to be a professional dancer, but never a partying person like that. So I was basically a stage dancer. But never make the mistake of inviting me to a party when 70% of the attendants are my friends, then we gonnn burn the dance floor. Anything less than 70%, I won't even attend.

Now, I don't really dance again. I'm just all by myself. But still, I dance all the time, during worship session, just walking to the bathroom, etc. And I do it alone, where I am seen by no one.

Anyway, is it normal? To just be dancing anyhow, just be getting up and be dancing, in the middle of serious work.

One more thing, my dance craze starts anytime from 7.00pm.

Another thing, please someone should help me interpret this one-liner poem of mine below. It's so simple, but no one has given me the answer.





Monday, February 8, 2016

When God cursed me

There's a church opposite my house that conduct services every day. Yes, you read right, every single day. The worst part is that the service holds in the evenings at the same time I'm doing bible study. The church is very small, really small but their loudspeaker is indirectly proportional to the size of the church. And guess the direction of the sound… straight through my window.

As outrageous as the above is, that is not the point of today's post.

Seeing the sound architecture of this church described above, it is therefore expected that I hear every single word uttered in their service, every praise and worship song, every off beat music, every prayer point and the whole sermon. Seeing as this is my current reality, I've learnt to block out the whole thing and just treat it like the noise pollution it really is. But sometimes I can't help but hear some things being said

And so it was that last Wednesday evening, doing my bible study as usual, this prayer point straight from this church loudspeaker, bypassed the word I was studying and hit my brain straight.
"Everybody say father, if I've done anything to deserve your curse, please forgive me in the name of Jesus." 
I immediately looked up, arched my back straight and stretched my ear lobes. I listened intently as the person giving the prayer point repeated it like 3 more times after which the whole congregation started praying.

I instantly became very worried. I kept screaming in my spirit “God doesn't curse people.” In my mind, I was crying for the people.

What kind of church is this? What kind of word is this? Don't people read their bibles? Doesn't the pastor/prayer warrior read his bible? Who will tell these people? Who will show this people the truth?

We are Christians. We are seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We have the same authority that Christ has. All principalities and powers are under our feet where it has been since the work was finished 2000 years ago. God can't curse you because you sinned. That was the whole essence of the cross. If you have sinned, you can come to the cross, obtain the forgiveness which has already been a done deal since ages past, and go and sin no more.

God cannot curse you! In fact, the devil cannot curse you. Yes you read that right.

Can we live under curses as Christians? Yes we can.

We can live under curses due to ignorance of what has been done for us. But once you know your right and the authority that was given to you when Christ resurrected, you place yourself in the position you truly are and begin to command things the way you want them with the mind-set that you already have the victory. You are just going to enforce your right.

Let me stop here on the issue of the believer’s authority because it is deeper than this.

The main things you should know are that…

God cannot curse you. He doesn't curse his children. Don't let someone put something on you that God didn't put there.

Read your bibles abeg. Or how else would you know that someone is spewing nonsense on the altar if you are not educated in the word?

Watch the church you go to. Honestly some pastors are not educated. I have a friend who was made pastor of a parish after spending few months as a worker in that church. He's a fellow blogger so he knows what I'm talking about.

I really don't want to do this but I'm sorry I have to so that the word will get to the ears of the right people. The church I'm talking about is one of the franchised redeemed churches. Maybe someone will tell Pastor Adeboye that regular inspections need to be conducted on their franchise so their members would not leave worse than they came in the first place

Source

Monday, February 1, 2016

If only they stayed this way forever

One of my students is mixed race

Nigerian mother, Indian Father

Her personality is like the sunshine

She lights up every environment she steps in

Always smiling

Extremely extremely extremely sanguine

She never stays down, even when you try to curb her

On Saturday, she was 45 minutes late for the class

Because her parents did not leave home on time

She was the last to come in to class

I did not interrupt the class for her, as I continued

When done with the other student, I turned to face her

She was tense and red

Her unhappiness was like a glass you could see through

My heart broke at her sadness that I took time to explain what she had missed

I continued teaching, and later stepped out of the class for bit

When I got back, she had become the sunshine again

She had done an imagery on my earrings, and nailed it

After the class, I asked

When you got to class, I noticed your face was red

Her brother responded

She was crying on our way

Why were you crying? Because you were late?

Yes. My brother made me late.

"You were crying because you were late?" I couldn't believe my ears.

Well, thank God you didn't really miss anything since you were able to catch up fast

"Yes, and I did an imagery on your earrings, and you didn't even know the object was on you."

At that point, I wished that 10 years from now, she would still remain the same.

I wish I could take her innocence and sunshine, and bottle it up

And then someday show her

This is the way you used to be

Don't let anyone tamper with it

Monday, January 25, 2016

Dangerous Sex

So one night, I unlocked my door, and walked into my room. NEPA was on their usual duty, so I shined the torch of my phone.

What did I see?

Two creations of God… having sex… in my room.

The worst part? They didn’t even flinch when I entered. My presence did not matter to them. They just carried on like no one had entered, and it was their territory.

I was so angry.

How dare they do this to me? How dare they have sex in my own room? Didn’t they know how I reacted to their colleagues trying to do the same thing by my window?

My room is a spinster’s room, and no sex… ABSOLUTELY NO SEX should go on there.

First thing I did was calm down, turned on my camera, took several pictures of them at far and close range, so I could use as evidence in case anyone ever accused me of wickedness in future.

And then in my pious rage, I took my insecticide, and sprayed them. I sprayed and sprayed in anger.

Evidence in the court of law
BLOODY COCKRAOCHES.

Then and only then did they flinch, and then they fell down from my wall.

Do you know the worst part? As they were dying, they did not disengage. They were still joined together, as they continued to have sex even in their final moments on earth.

These roaches were gangster. They would rather die together than allow anyone separate them. Well, if only humans would learn from them.

Anyway, when they get to their next life, they would warn their mates, and tell them to keep away from @ilola’s room because any sex that goes on there is a DANGEROUS SEX, and it would only lead to death

Monday, January 18, 2016

Monitoring Spirits on BBM


Happy new year my people. Thank God for seeing us through 2015. It was a great year for me, and I enjoyed the peace that surpassed all understanding. I never shook, through any storm. I never even felt any storm, lol. 2016 will be a greater year for us all in Jesus name.

If you are my friend on BBM, you would know by now that I am of strange ways when it comes to BBM updates. I might not upload a picture or status for a whole year, then update for 2 weeks, and disappear for a whole year again.

In my opinion, BBM is more personal than facebook, Instagram, blogger, and the likes. Anyone on your BBM is supposed to be closer to you than the general gbogbo ero. I have noticed that some people add you up on BBM not specifically because they want to get closer to you, but they want to have their noses all up in your business.

My BBM friends have no advantage over my blogsville friends. In fact, I say absolutely nothing on BBM, and if anyone wants to ‘monitor’ me, the best way to do it is to read my blog, of which the update would come weeks or months later, anyway.

When I first got a blackberry, I used to update status and pictures regularly, but sometime in February 2012, I stopped. I just wished the whole world would go away and leave me alone. But then, I published my first book, Antonyms of a Mirage. People started putting the picture of my book cover on their DP, in order to celebrate me. So I was shamed into coming out of hiding, so I started updating pictures again, mostly with my book cover.

By 2013 ending, I stopped again, mostly because I wanted the world to just leave me alone… again. I noticed that anytime I change my DP, people would start chatting with me. And I didn’t want to chat.
So I started updating DPs at about 1am or 2am when I wanted to go and sleep, when I know people would be too asleep to chat me up.

But then, I would wake up the next morning, and see some chats waiting for me. *sigh*

It was as if they were monitoring me. I couldn’t even upload a DP in peace. I started getting scared of uploading DPs, lol.

People would be greeting you, asking directionless questions, trying to strike up chats that go nowhere, just because you changed your DP. So I left my phone totally blank. It was time to start chatting with people who remembered me regardless of whether I change my DP and status or not.

At this time, I had started losing taste for my pictures. For over two years, I had stopped displaying my pictures, not even on my birthday. People hardly knew my birthday (which was intentional, as I took it off all social media pages), and for the people who knew, they won’t put up my picture on their DP, since mine is blank, and they get the message that I don’t want to be acknowledged. For the ones who actually go out of their way to put it up (like old time friends), I reach out to them, and tell them to take my picture down. And till now, that’s how it has been.

I don’t celebrate my birthday, anyone’s birthday, new year, new month, Christmas, Easter, Salah, trips, or anything on my DP.

So it got to a point I asked myself “why should I be afraid of uploading anything on the DP of the phone I bought with my money?”

Anyway, I am no more afraid. I have learnt that when people chat you up, you don’t have to reply immediately, you can wait till you have time. And if you don’t want to chat, you can end the conversation by giving answers that leave no room for dialogue, in a very polite manner. Eventually, people get the message, and just leave you alone.

For the past one month now, I have uploaded about 5 DPs of the quotes I make for Instagram, and the few responses have been positive, yet not intrusive. I really want people to learn from the quotes, which is why I braved up the courage to start uploading again. I think people just get the message after a while, and leave you alone.

I have been a good girl for the past one month. If BBM monitoring spirits start manifesting again, I might be forced to go back into hiding.

Is there anyone who feels my plight, or am I the only strange one here?

Monday, January 11, 2016

The Year called 2015 - My life as the Boss of all

Happy new year to all of you. How was your break. How was 2015? And what would you do differently in 2016?

2015 was a great year. I achieved almost everything I set to achieve, except one thing. I set out to live a well-balanced life this year, because I suffered burnout in 2014, and I was able to do that.

I suffered a setback in the second quarter, but it didn't get me down. The devil tried, but I dusted it and moved on. Depression is a terrible and dark thing, and I am not going down that road.

I had serious peace of mind this year. It was as if the Holy Spirit came down on me, and gave me grace to deal with things I couldn't control. I stopped seeing some things as a disadvantage, but rather, as stepping stones to greater heights.

The first half of the year was majorly me getting some necessary credentials to further my business and career. I like reading, but I don't like school book, so this took a lot of psyching for me. I put my head down, spent time, spent money (loads and loads of it), and went back to school, lol. I read (oh gosh I read my head out), cos I hate failing (you all know that), and A- or B for me is a failure (a mindet I developed in 2007). So I read and read and got board-certified as Holistic Practitioner of Trichology and Advanced Cosmetic Scientist (Two different schools).

I got awards, accolades, recoginitions, plaques, etc. I became an industry-expert.

I gave myself to my teenage students wholly. If you ever invited me to do anything on a Saturday or Sunday, and I declined, well, they are the reason. At the end of the year, I won Coordinator (Teacher) of the year in my teen's church. I honestly think it was the grace of God, cos I don't consider myself that selfless.

I did less spoken word performances than I did in 2014, but oh boy, I made more money in 2015 because my fees increased, and I turned down some performances due to clash in schedule, unavailability due to travel, etc.

I became more diplomatic and more emotionally intelligent in 2015. Teaching the new era teenager and handling about 7 leadership roles would do that to you.

I was the most conscious of my diet and my work outs this year (my mum would ask what weight I am trying to lose). No I wasn't on a weight loss goal, but an active lifestyle is my fuel, and I need to keep my energy level high.

I read only 19 books this year, the lowest I've done in a long time. It's because I kept picking this books that were bigger than the bible to read, lol, such as Les Miserables, My life by Bill Clinton, etc. I'm sure I'd do better next year. P.S: If you see a book called It's Your Time by Joel Osteen, please don't bother reading it. It's just a waste of time, with no real foundation. I have nothing against Joel Osteen o, but men, do yourself a favour and read something else.

Someone called me from UK, and started telling me things like "Nigerian economy is bad, you guys are in trouble, everything is down for you." I smiled and said "Nigerian economy might be bad, but my economy is not bad." And no, this is not motivational speaking, it is pure business sense. I will clarify to you guys in December 2016.

I rocked 2015 like a Boss

But mehn, 2016 is going to blow my mind.

This is my mantra for 2016: A LOT CAN CHANGE IN ONE YEAR.

With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I'm going to be spending this year gunning down challenges like a gangstar (only a word artist can use Holy Spirit and gangstar boss in the same sentence, and get away with it). See my game face below, if you don't believe.


Monday, January 4, 2016

WHY 2016 WOULD BE LIKE OTHER 2015 FOR MOST PEOPLE – A different perspective

(Balancing religious intoxication with the dawning of reality)

While I don't believe in the mob mentality of New Year resolutions, new year- new me crap because I believe you don't have to wait for a new year to get your life back on track, by December 31 and January 1 of every year, I become a total snob. I basically shut myself from the world, do some serious goal scoring, pray for direction, re-evaluate things and do another set of goal-setting that would be scored at the end of the year.

This has worked for me for years. And to the people who ask how come I've been able to achieve a lot in such a little time on earth. That’s it. It's my personal brand to keep my promises to people, so I apply it to my life. I keep my promises to myself.

After returning from crossover service on Jan 1, I saw all the BBM updates on my year of divine manifestation, taking territories, etc., just like it is every year. The social media frenzy was so much that I did a double take, just like I do every year.

Yet, just like every year, with the millions of declarations generated from billions of Nigerian churches, nothing really ever changes for most people. The spiritual high eventually faded away sometime between 2nd of January and 14th of February. So how do we balance New Year religious intoxication with reality?

1. Be specific and practical. In all our religious brouhaha, we like to throw around big vague terms that make us feel spiritual and holy, but we know they are just words. We say this is my year of divine manifestation, I’m soaring on eagle’s wings, this is my year of taking territories.
What is divine manifestation, soaring higher, next level, taking territories? These are powerful words that can change people's lives, and at the same time, be a gold vessel of emptiness in the lives of others. When you hear such words, don't just 'key into it'. Personalise it. Ask yourself 'what does it mean to me?' How does it apply to my life?

Divine promotion to a vulcanizer means that your brand new tire should tear on the way. The more torn tires, the more promotion for him. While divine promotion to you means on your way to that life-changing meeting, nothing must happen to your tire.

If promotion is every year at your place of work, and you get promoted once this year, just like everyone else, is that really divine? What exactly do you need to happen for you to ascertain that indeed, you have been divinely promoted? Be specific and write it down .

Before you start screaming “I’m taking territories,” What does taking territories mean to you? I'm sure you are not thinking of using a time machine to travel back in time to join the Israelites and fight alongside Joshua. So you need to be specific to your own situation. What does a territory mean to you? How are you going to take territories?

Does it mean you are going to buy more physical territories (land) this year? Or does it mean you are taking market place industries?

Who are you taking in the territory from? The devil or another human being

If it is the devil, have you been practicing using the armour of God? How many scriptures can you fight with if the devil hits you unawares this very second?

If it is another man's territory, how are you going to take it? Will you steal it from him? Or worse, will you kill him like they did in the Old Testament?

Or will you follow the rules of wealth-transference by providing services to him, which you have now become an expert at and they have no choice but to come to you?

What exactly does taking territories mean to you? Be specific and write it down. Don't just be using vague religious clich├ęs, because it was declared in church.

2. Watch your tongue
Nigerians take first position when it comes to idle and careless talk. I heard we are the most prayerful nation, so it's such an irony that we have the most caustic tongue on social media and in real life
"The economy is bad, Nigeria is doomed, Buhari is a terrible leader, there's no hope, pastors are just fetish and corrupt...

KEEP QUIET! Seriously, if there’s ever any year to shut up, this is the year

I shake my head at the intensity of some people's words. After you have used all your might to receive prophesy, you use your tongue to destroy what God wants to do.  Your mouth would follow the direction of your tongue. Run away from idle babbles, and steer-off social media beer parlour discussions.

It's not compulsory to talk on social media. I had 14 posts (not links) on Facebook last year, but it looked to the whole world like I had about 200 posts because the very few posts gathered steam. It is intentional. The posts (whether video or text) were carved intentionally to be positive and project something. For this reason, I’m impressed when people say “we always see you on Facebook” considering that I was hardly on Facebook.

If you don't have any good thing to say about your situation or that of the country, don’t say anything. The wise people are the ones who have been able to create success by their choice of words. BE WISE so that you won't sing the same song by the end of the year

Lastly
3. Irrespective of prophesies and annual church declarations, your year would not be different if you don't start taking actions.

After prophesying and declaring, if you resume Monday morning, doing the same thing you did last year, I can assure you that you would be singing the same song you sang at the end of 2015 when 2016 comes to an end. And then you'd be anxiously waiting for 2017 to come, so you can make the same old mistakes

I won't talk of goal setting, goal scoring, SMART rules, vision boards (these are the tools I use, anchored on scriptures and revelations), etc. because the purpose of this post isn't really to tell you how to achieve your goals in 2016.

It is to let you know that in all your New Year intoxication, due to the fact that a new year has magically turned you a walking-on-water superman, just because your pastor prophesied and the annual church declaration has been released, it is really you and your actions that would make the change in the end.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Who trains the woman? Parents or Marriage?

A friend of mine told me something about how somebody she had to work with was very difficult to get along with. She said she always liked to have her way, etc. Seeing, I had no solution to offer, I said “don’t worry she will change. She has no choice. Once she gets married, she will learn.”

Some weeks later, I remembered what I said, and pointed guilty fingers at myself for making such a statement.

Why do people always wait for marriage to teach their female wards some lessons?

Let me explain better. You have a daughter/sister/friend who has a very bad character flaw, one so bad that you know that it might hinder her in some areas in future. Instead of you to correct that character flaw, you leave it to fester because “marriage will teach her. Marriage will mellow her. Her husband will teach her real sense… etc”

Source
We therefore bring up severely flawed ladies, unleash them to the claws of marriage to do what the parents couldn’t succeed in doing.

Yorubas even have a proverb for it “Ile oko, Ile eko.” Meaning “Husband’s house is training house.”
Sometimes, it is really bad, as the character flaw that wasn’t corrected makes the marriage unbearable for both parties, and things go south.

Someone told me a true story of this Igbo man...

His daughter brought a man home, saying they wanted to get married. The man refused to allow his daughter marry her suitor. She pleaded with him. He refused. She said they had both prayed. The suitor kept telling the man that the lady was God’s will for him. The man told the suitor that “my daughter is not your wife. Go and find your wife. This girl is not yours.” They called family members, friends, church members, etc. to plead with him, but he refused to budge.

The couple had no choice but to go their separate ways.

Two years later, the daughter brought another man home, who wanted to marry her. Without any stress, her father gave his blessing. Everyone was shocked, as they had started planning how they would have to beg the man to allow his daughter go.

The daughter later went to meet her father in confusion, stating how she didn’t understand her father. She said two years ago, she brought home a very good guy who was every girl’s dream, and he said no. And now, he didn’t even raise any objections. She asked why he didn’t like that other guy enough to allow them get married.

The man’s response…

He said he really liked the guy she brought home 2 years ago, that he was a great guy really in love with his daughter. But his daughter was not a great person, which is why he doubted the whole “God’s will for me is your daughter.” He said his daughter could not keep a home, maintain a kitchen, or raise a family. Her head was too out there, and had absolutely no home-making skills. He said their marriage would have been a disaster, and he didn’t want to do such an injustice to the man. He said he had watched her for the past two years, that ever since she was denied her first marriage, she had calmed down, and started learning basic home-training skills, and was much more better as a person. This is why he did not hesitate when she brought the second guy, because she was now ready for marriage.

His reaction had nothing to do with the men she brought, but his daughter as a person.

This is a true life story.

I really respected the father in this story. Many parents would have been eager to unleash their ill-mannered daughters on such an unsuspecting young man, so she could go and complete her home-training in marriage. But this man was wiser.

I think this is how it should be. Well-rounded girls, and well-brought up men coming together to become and raise a family. That way, marriages have a chance of lasting longer, and they wouldn’t be dysfunctional.

Monday, December 21, 2015

How I ruined my friend's relationship

 Before I go on to talk about today's post, let me just quickly state that I had serious fun in church this weekend. It was our Christmas ball and after party. And I had the enormous task of organising this event of the year. It was quite tasking, but I thank God we scaled through. So this is 0.1% of how it went down below.





There was a time I used to dance practically everyday, because of rehearsals and ministrations. Even that's no more my life, I have decided that I would never let growing up take my dance away. Now, unto today's post.

A former classmate of mine added me up on BBM, and I’ve never chatted with him since he added me up. We used to be on very friendly terms when we just got into school, but later fizzled into mere acquaintances as life went by.

I’m in the gisting mood, so I would tell you what I did.

I met him through another classmate of mine, and he seemed like a really cool and fun guy. We used to gist well whenever we met, and that was all. I had a friend who I used to go and see regularly in my hall. My friend had a roommate who was in 400 level. Due to the fact that I used to spend a lot of time with my friend (who in reality, was my friend’s friend’s girlfriend, and all of us just used to camp there and gist), this 400 level lady became my friend too. This 400 level lady was very smallish (like me) and nice. She looked very young.

Anyway, one day, I went to see my friend, and saw my male classmate in her room. He was a visitor of the 400 level lady.

Lemme take a quick break here, and give you his profile. He is absolutely what you would call tall, dark, and handsome. When you see him, you know you have seen a guy who’s physically an eye-catcher…

Until he opens his mouth.

He’s someone who just talks anyhow, which is why we grew apart in friendship, also a wide gap in moral values.

So back to the story, I saw him in my friend’s room, and gisted with him (we were still friends at this time). He told me he came to see the lady in 400 level.

From that day, I started seeing them together very regularly in different places around school. He, the tall, dark, handsome, and eye-catching. She, the petite, portable and cute one. Although she was far older than him, I began to suspect that she didn’t know. You could see love written all over her face for the guy. The guy was being sneaky, and that’s when I started to sort of dislike him.

What happened next, I can’t really remember, which is very strange because I have a very good memory. So I am going to give you the two versions.

Version 1
I went to my friend’s room, and met the 400 level lady who had now become my friend. She was alone in the room. We got talking, and I asked her if TDH was her boyfriend. She said yes. I asked her why she, a 400 level lady would be in a relationship with a guy in 100 level.

Version 2
I went to my friend’s room, and met the 400 level lady who had now become my friend. She was alone in the room. We got talking. She asked me how I got to become friend with her boyfriend. I told her he’s my classmate, and I asked her why she, a 400 level lady would be in a relationship with a guy in 100 level.

I think version 1 is really it, because I so wanted to divulge this guy’s secret. I can’t remember which one really happened, but the outcome was the same.

She seemed shocked. She could hardly breathe. She kept asking me “Are you sure, are you sure?” I said yes of course. She said “maybe he has a carry over? He told me he’s in 300 level.” I said nooo, we are in the same class. He’s in 100 level.

She kept asking me if I was sure, and I was very happy to slap her back to reality with my assurances. (don’t blame me, I had just crossed over from the age of 15-16 years old, lol).

She started crying, and I started disliking the guy more. After a while, I left.

Some days/weeks later, I saw him. He asked me if I told the girl that he’s in 100 level. He said the girl told him that someone revealed it to her, and he’s suspecting me.

I told him the girl and I got talking, and she asked me. So I told her. I said I didn’t know he lied to her in the first place, so there’s no way I could have covered up for him.

So I said “you sef, why did you lie to her? What are you doing with a lady in 300 level?”

He started giving me incoherent answers and smiling sheepishly, saying I shouldn’t have told her bla bla.

In my 16 year old mind, I did the right thing, and I was proud of it. The guy was a player, and a 400 level lady was just one of his trophies to win, as a jambite. The way she was crying, I suspected she might have slept with him already, and she was regretting that “what a waste?”

Anyway, that’s the end of my gist. I’m sure my older self would handle the situation differently. But I’m still glad I did what I did.

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