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My last major fight with my Mother

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I grew up in a house ruled by fear!

Well, that could be considered an exaggeration.

What I meant to say is that the fear of my mum was the beginning of wisdom. Being a school teacher who would later go ahead to work with my dad in his company, it was no surprise that she was a strict disciplinarian. She made it her life's mission to make sure that her children were 'not spoilt'

Caning, spanking and painful punishments were regular guests in the house that sometimes stayed for days on end.

There were advantages to the way my mum raised us but of course there were several disadvantages. The pros included raising disciplined children, who got to learn values very early in life and so much more.

One of the cons is that you will probably not be very close to your parents I.e. You won't be able to open up to them or give them intimate details about your life. This would most likely linger into adulthood.

Another con was that you tend to fear your parents very early in life. This means that you do the right things mostly out of fear, like “I dare not disobey mum or else I'm dead”

And then you grow up to the point where you have to make your own decisions. You are no longer motivated by fear of your mum. It's at this point that some kids choose to rebel. After all, what can mummy do to me? All she would do is shout and shut up. Kids always grow up to be immune to shouting and threatening parents.

Now the danger is if there was no other motivation to do the right things apart from the fear of your parents, you would most likely not do the right things when that fear fizzles out

In my own case, it played out in a funny way.

When bloggers go too far... just for a story

Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who read and commented on my last blog post. I can see women don't joke with sensitive issues like this.

I ended up calling my client, and she seems to be doing very fine now. She will resume the new job, and see how it turns out, although from what is currently being said, the new job seems offer a supportive environment to women, and enables them balance career and family. If you haven't read it, please do by clicking here, and lending your voice. This is because my client read the post, and is actually seeing the comments. So you can use the comment section to get to her.

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So something odd happened last week after the post was published. I was getting calls from a 'private number', which I kept cutting off because my number was recently used in a spam text, causing so many unknown numbers to call me, including 'private numbers'.

The person kept calling, so I picked, with the intention of cutting it immediately. Alas, I heard the voice of a well-spoken lady, who is a blog reader.

How the toilet changed her life forever

N:B- This post has been edited, by removing very descriptive details, to protect the identity of my client. 

By the virtue of my job as a trichology practitioner, I encounter women of all ages, varying backgrounds and life experiences, at my hair clinic

Many times, during consultation we have to go down to the personal area of their lives, and I must say, this is one of the things I enjoy most about my work as a trichology practitioner. The fact that women who were previously strangers to me can forget their inhibitions and get personal with me.

Recently, I was discussing with a mother of three. She's a very young career woman, basically got married early. She took a year off her career to focus on her family, and will be resuming a new job soon. When it comes to family support and child care, she's blessed with a supportive mother in law and good domestic hands. She seems to have it all, and obviously, she's basically done with child birth (she has both genders)

Anyway, in the course of our discussion, it was revealed that her IUD had fallen out for sometime, and she wasn't aware, so she continued having sex with her husband, assuming she was protected all these while. It wasn't until the stuff came out while she was using the toilet (hence the topic), that she realized she hadn't been protected. At least, let's thank God it didn't get stuck in her system and cause infections or some other serious internal problems for her.

As at the time she came for consultation, she was waiting for her period, and her hCG level couldn't have been high enough to give a definitive pregnancy test result.

Anyway, some days later, she told me she was pregnant!

The most complex project I have undertaken!

Yaayy! I can't keep calm!!! The third edition of Rhyme and Reason, which we have tagged Eversion is here. Last year's own, Excision is the dopest event I've attended, and I say so, not because it is my event, but because it is true.

I believe, by the grace of God, that Nigeria is about to experience something like it has never before experienced. This is because Eversion will be the first Rap and Spoken Word Musical in Nigeria. Just think about being on broadway, watching Phantom of the Opera, but instead of the dialogue to be in music and normal speech, it is Rap and Spoken Word instead. The whole production started in January, and a lot of work has gone into it.

This is by far, the most complex project I have undertaken. From sourcing for sponsors, to running a very large organising team (the best ever). As you can tell, it is one storyline, typical of a musical. Eversion focuses on child sexual abuse in the family, which is something that's very rampant, but very hush hush (yes, it is PG13).

It is happening at The Lekki Coliseum next Saturday, 15th July, 2017, and I hope to see you all there.

Here's the trailer below. I just couldn't keep you away from it's dopeness

Some pictures of our boot camp

The film director and his crew

Some of the back up singers

Some of the rappers

Some of the dancers

Some of the instrumentalists

As you can tell, it is quite a robust production, but I won't be able to let the main cat out of the bag.

In order not to make this post a very long one, I will stop here, and end by giving us a list of where we can get tickets for now.

1. All Filmhouse cinema (IMAX) outlets in Lagos

  • Filmhouse Surulere, Leisure Mall, Adeniran Sreet, Surulere, Lagos
  • The Rock Drive Off Bisola Durosinmi Etti Drive Lekki Phase 1

2. Terra Kulture (the bookshop)
Plot 1376, Tiamiyu Savage, Off Ahmadu Bello Way, Victoria Island, Lagos

3. The following Tastee Fried Chicken Outlets

  • TFC Head Office, Plot 1672, Oyin jolayemi Street, VI
  • 106, Awolowo Road, Oando Filling Station, Ikoyi 
  • Oando Fuel Station, Chisco Bus Stop, Ikate, Lekki  
  • 49C, Marina, Lagos
  • 21, Opebi Road, Ikeja, Lagos
  • 22 Road,2nd Avenue,Festac Town
  • 16, Catholic Mission Street, Opposite City Hall, Lagos Island

4. Lekki pickup zone
Lush Mall. 26a, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Lagos.

5. University of Lagos
Call Mayowa on 08121582434

6. Ariiya Tickets

7. Spiricoco

8. We also deliver tickets to your doorstep in Lagos (not outskirts). Delivery is free!
For more information on ticket purchase, please call 07061141501

See you all there next Saturday. When you see me, make sure you shout my name, so I can meet you up. :)

I almost married the wrong person

As young adults, we are most probably familiar with the fact that many disappointments are blessings in disguise. Yesterday, an incident flashed through my mind that made me remember this, and just smile.

Two Decembers ago, when I had accepted that I wasn’t being as sociable as I should be, thereby making me open to matchmaking as a means of making up for the resulting consequences of my ‘socialless’ life, my friend invited me to go with her siblings and their friends for paint balling.

I was friends with her siblings too, so it wasn’t a strange gathering for me. Her brother, who was the main organiser brought some of his friends, who also brought their friends, siblings, in-laws, etc. It was basically a cool gathering of working class adults who wanted to have fun in a sane atmosphere… and a place where you should be able to meet one or two eligible bachelors, lol.

We got there, settled down, and I noticed one of his friends was looking at me from time to time. Bad news was that he brought a girl to the gathering. The boy was what you would call ‘very finnnnneeeee’ – Tall, not really dark, and very handsome. The girl was mixed race, and extremely beautiful. However, she scowled throughout the duration of the event. She stayed alone, and didn’t talk to a single soul. From time to time, this guy who go to sit with her, say some words to her, just to make conversation, and she would scowl even more. We didn’t know the exact relationship between them.

Anyway, the paint balling was over, we had snacks, and left. When she dropped me at home, she suggested that she could hook me up with the guy in question (who is actually her childhood friend). I told her I noticed the guy looked at me from time to time. We talked about the mixed race girl, and laughed at her terrible attitude.

My friend told me about the guy, and his family. I did my own little research on the guy on social media, and he seemed like someone I would like to know more, and date – cool headed, good family, Christian, calm, etc.

Two weeks later, my friend gave me feedback about the situation. Mr Man was really serious about Miss Mixed Race, and was about to take it to the next level with her. So, nothing for me, sorry. To say that I was pained was an understatement.

Exactly a year later, I was at a hotel, taking my professional engagement pictures. We moved to the lounge for more picture taking. There was a guy sitting there, who we had to beg to change his position, so we could get an angle we were aiming for in the picture. He gladly obliged.

It was then I noticed his trousers, and then his face. It was the same trousers he wore when I met him. There were some features that made it unique, which made it easy for me to recognise it anywhere. I looked at him again, and then called him by name.

I asked if he remembered me, and he said I was familiar. It was really strange, with me all in my engagement attire, chatting up this guy looking casual like he was just coming from the gym. I reminded him of who I was, and how and where we met. He then asked what was exactly was happening, why I was all dressed up, and taking pictures. It seemed like the most stupid question ever to me. Wasn’t it obvious? I told him I was getting married, and just taking pictures.

The guy was somewhere beside me in this picture

I told my friend about the encounter. I then found out that it never worked between him and the mixed race lady (big surprise?), and he could be slow and sluggish at times… and basically hadn’t made much of a progress in the space of that one year when I met him, and when I met him again.

I later pondered on this ‘coincidence’, how on December 2015, I meet a guy whom if I had been given the chance, I would have jumped ship with, and November 2016, while getting married, I see, basically doing nothing. So if I had gotten my wish then, I probably would have jumped in and then out, and wouldn’t have met the guy I eventually got married to.

I personally think that second meeting wasn’t a coincidence. It was just God’s way of reminding me/us that sometimes, when we don’t get that thing that we think is good for us, it is because there’s something better awaiting us, and our ‘wish’ was never in God’s plan for us in the first place.

What do you think about this? Has something like this ever happened to you… you missing out on something, only to find out it was a blessing in disguise?

My Husband stopped me from working!

It's rainy season here in Lagos Nigeria, and the rains have been heavy in the past few days. Unfortunately, I now live in an area where when the sky cries, the whole estate feels it because the topology of this 'high brow' estate doesn't really make sense when it comes to properly draining off rain water.

So basically, when the rains are very very very heavy, just forget about going out, at least through the estate's main gate. Not even a very high SUV can pass, talk less of tiny cars like mine. There's one tiny back end road that they open in times like this, but it takes about one hour to get out of this estate, using that road, and it is so bad that it spoils cars, plus the final exit is not even close to the estate at all. What many people do is just to stay and work from home in these situations, or they find a way to walk on water like peter, or get their cars to swim in waterlogged bad roads.

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Anyway, last week, one of these very very very heavy downpours happened, and we were all 'trapped' in the closet estate.

See how happy I am. How do you like me now?

Many times, I feel there's something wrong with me because I don't agree with the trend of everyone going to Facebook to announce to the whole world, how they have the best husband in the world.

A lady comes to celebrate her husband on Social Media (addressing him directly). An example is "Akanni, ever since you made me your wife, my life has never remained the same." yet the note is made public to us all, and the said husband does not even have a Facebook account.

Am I saying it is wrong to give these kinds of affirming statements to your spouse?

Current Relationship Status: It's Complicated

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I have always had a love-hate relationship with Social Media, going off social media for long stretches at a time, and then suddenly reappearing to flaunt all my works. In the industries where I play, one has to know how to utilise social media well, in order to stay relevant. I really wish this were not so because there are many times one doesn't just want to share.

This year, it has been a serious HATE relationship for me. I first went of Instagram, and then went off Facebook. Me and Twitter have never really hit it off before, so that one didn't count in the equation. Let's just say Social Media has been irritating me a lot.

To be honest, even though Social Media can be annoying at times, the problem this time around is not Social Media, it is ME. I've been operating under a haze of