How I got a kinfe scar on my right cheek

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This post is dedicated to Naijawife

If you are an avid reader of this blog, you probably already know that I have a knife scar on my cheek. Sometimes, the scar is very obvious, most times it is not. It all depends on if light is reflecting on that side my face when the picture is being taken, or how sharp your eyes are in reality.

When you look at me on a normal day, this is what you see.

However, if you look at my right cheek well, you will notice the scar. Emphasis on look well. I don’t know if it looks like a tribal mark because nobody has ever asked me if it is a tribal mark. This is what you will see.

So how did this very famous scar end up on my cheek? And no, the bike guy did not stab me on the cheek, lol. Naijawife asked me this on twitter.

Believe it or not, this is a true story, no matter how ridiculous it might sound to you. There are three main characters in this story. Me, Mama Bunmi (My mum’s tailor), and my Dad. So which of these three characters was responsible for this scar?

It all started when I was 5 years old. There was a girl in my class called Damilola Osho. She was very slim, wore neat uniform, shiny GL earrings, very neat weaving, and cute lips. In my opinion, she was a beautiful girl. Not loud beauty like that of Toke Makinwa or my yellow pawpaw sister, but that kind of cool and calm beauty. The thing is she had this short vertical tribal mark. I went further to form my ignorant opinion, that it was this short tribal mark that made her beautiful, and I felt if I had that mark too, I will be beautiful like her.
I then decided to give myself a beautiful tribal mark, like that of Damilola Osho.

I don’t know how come, but that day, there were just two people in the house – Mama Bunmi and I. Mama Bunmi was sewing clothes, as usual, and I was just idle. I saw it as an opportunity to quickly make myself beautiful like Damilola Osho.

So I took a big kitchen knife, and went straight to my mother’s dressing table. My goal was to give myself tribal mark without bleeding or feeling any pain. I therefore started making impressions on my cheek with the knife, but I saw no change. I tried harder. I ended up slicing the knife all over my face. I saw a few impressions here and there, but I knew they would fade soon, cos they were not deep (like Damilola’s own).

After about 30 minutes of trying, without any real success, I felt it wise to meet the only adult in the house. So, off I went to Mama Bunmi to help me fulfill my dreams of being beautiful like Damilola Osho. I showed her the knife, and told her to give me tribal mark in a way that I won’t bleed. She looked at my face, with all the knife impressions I had already made, and told me that I should wait for my dad, and when he gets back at night, I should tell him to do it for me.

Seeing that my dad was the more understanding, and less strict of my parents, I felt it won’t be a big deal asking him, and he would oblige me, just like that.

That night, I watched him eating, as he was gisting with my mum. Immediately he finished, I just took the knife to meet him, and pointed it at him, asking him to give me a tribal mark.

All I heard was...

“Will you get out of here right now?”

I scampered away like a scared rat. It was at that point that I knew that for my usually cool and nice dad to shout at me like that, my request must have been ridiculous.

But you see, the damage had already been done. One of the impressions went deeper that I actually thought. The cut was not deep, just a surface skin one, but the scar, as we now know, is going to be there for a life time.

My dad and I. I was six here.
About few months after the knife incident

You can read about another encounter between my dad and I here.

P.S: I searched for Damilola Osho on facebook after writing this post I saw her instantly. She still looks beautiful, and hasn’t really changed much. The only thing is, I can’t see the tribal mark. It has probably faded away, or covered by her foundation and powder. Anyway, I sent her a friend request, but she never accepted. I believe it is because she doesn't remember me, but I remember her. After all, she is the reason why I have the scar in this first place. See how funny this life is.

Five things I learnt from hanging out with Berry and Cakes

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Okay, as you guys know, I like Berry cos I feel she is down to earth, open, free, and fun to be with. I was not really sure about Cakes, even though he has sent me free cake in the past. I had only met him twice, when Berry brought him to one Natural Hair meet up, not long after they started dating (I just said hi, cos I didn’t know he was her BF then), and at their wedding. So, I had never really had the opportunity to talk to him.

I was supposed to meet up with Berry at Nike Art Gallery on May 24, after I was done with my teens. When she said she brought Cakes, I was fearing internally cos I pictured Berry being all happy and fun, while Cakes facial expression will be like “Lady, why are you here? Don’t you know three is a crowd?” But since my appointment was with Berry, I dragged myself to the venue.

Let me just say by the time I was done with Berry and Cakes, I was blown away. So what did I learn from this amazing couple?

Don’t be insecure

You know that thing where you are talking to your friend, either male or female, and their spouse comes, and you start changing the topic? There was nothing like that. Most of the time, the whole thing went like this. Berry introduces a controversial subject with Cakes, they argue, argue, argue, I look dumbfounded as each of them tries to convince me that he/she is the right person, Berry stands up, starts roaming about to God-knows-where, while Cakes gists with me for so long, in the line of the topic, Berry comes back, and tells me not to mind him, and then leaves again to roam about, Cakes continues… and I think this happened like thrice. I did not see any shred of insecurity in Berry, and Cakes did not have the three-is-a-crowd look I expected. It was the exact opposite. If I did not know better, I would have said he even planned for me to be there.

Be your spouse's best friend

The strong friendship between this couple is just so apparent. No one needs to tell you, and I think that’s what makes their whole union interesting. They laugh, argue, banter like kids, it’s just so great to watch them in their elements. There’s no such way anyone can put up that kind of front, no matter how good an actor you are. They told me they fight, though I did not see them fight, and gisted me about an occasion. They argue… mostly about relationships, lol. How both of them ended up at the venue is another story. Let’s just say they are full of drama.

Don't be fooled. Berry is not taller than me. I was wearing
the only pair of flat sandals I have, while she cheated.

It is cool to be down to earth

You think Berry is fun and down to earth? Then you should meet Cakes. He is very open, and obviously deals with people with an open mind. I mean, right in front of me, this guy told someone on the phone where he was without even knowing the person he was talking to at first. I learnt a lot about him, his past struggles, business, relationships, family, etc., all the time when Berry left me to babysit her husband, while she was roaming about exploring artwork. The kind of attitude they display obviously draws people towards them, and is an amazing combination.

You just need a good example

Many people complain about marriage, its burden and all. After hanging out with Berry and Cakes, I told them the truth, which is that ‘They are such an amazing couple, and hanging out with them just makes you want to get married.’ I told them I like them, and that is when they started talking about their ‘serious fights’. My prayer for them is that they just maintain whatever they are doing to make their marriage great, and they will surely see it through to the end. So whenever you are doubting the whole marriage institution, just get a good example to inspire you, whether younger couples like Berry and Cakes, or older ones that have weathered storms together.

I repeat. Berry is not taller than me. I was
wearing the same pair of sandals. She made
everyone wear flats, while she wore
something high 

Don’t overindulge

I was so intoxicated with the whole Berry and Cakes combination that when they said we should go from Lekki to coldstone at the palms, I should have said no, but they tempted me, and I couldn’t resist the temptation. I had a truckload of work waiting for me at home. In fact, Cakes insisted that I watch an 8.50pm movie with them, and I have to sit in-between them. I respectfully declined. I did not want couples holding hands behind my back, with me in the middle, or worse, arguing over my head, because that was bound to happen. Cakes rejected my refusal, but Berry saved me from his hands. In the end, we went to coldstone, and we had ice cream… just Cakes and I, while we left Berry to eat the breeze blowing, lol. I knew I shouldn’t have gone with them there, but I just couldn’t resist them. They are just such a great couple. I had a series of Spoken Word ministrations at a Redeemed church the next day. In fact, it was extremely important, because the whole church service was built around my Spoken Word ministrations. I got home that night, and I couldn’t rehearse one bit. Thankfully, I had rehearsed well before that day. If not, ehn, overindulging in Berry and Cakes would have just destroyed my ministry. All my work was therefore moved to Sunday also, and my whole week suffered just because of the enormous work load caused by that simple shift.

They were so great that the only thing left for me was to go and sleep in their house, which they actually suggested jokingly, lol, but the love for my bed was just too strong for me to betray it.

At the end of the day, by 9.00pm, I hugged the couple, left them to go and watch their movie, while I left, exhausted.

Just look at everyone's feet. You see I wasn't lying
when I said she made everyone wear flats? Who
does that on their wedding day?

What is on your mind, can you be honest?

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I wrote and posted this on facebook sometime in May. I think blogsville people would love it. Enjoy



I logged on to Facebook today, and the first question I was asked was “What’s on your mind?”

I then wonder, “What exactly do you want to do with the information on my mind?”

What if I were honest…

What if I told you I had been thinking about the latest punches and kicks I received from my husband? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “And they look like such a perfect couple.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how after 33 years of singleness, no man is even looking my way, sending me to tears every night? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “Upon how fine she is? She must have a bad attitude.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how my flashy lifestyle has gotten me into heavy loan debts with banks? Then what would be on your mind about me? “And I was envying him, thinking he is a big boy.”

What if I told you I have been thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years, cos he was just a frog that would never turn into a prince, no matter the number of kisses (and sex)? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “And I thought she had the best BF in the world.”

What if I told I have been thinking about how the stigma of been gang-raped 7 years ago has not afforded me the opportunity to move on? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “You self, how did you get yourself into that situation?”

What is I told you have been thinking about how God is good, the best thing that ever happened to me, my best friend, etc? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “All this religious hypocrites, always making themselves look holy on the internet.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how I have not had a job for two years, can’t provide my family, and my wife is the current breadwinner? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “He is not even a real man. I’m sure his wife is controlling him at home.”

What if I told you I have been thinking…

So dear Facebook friends, I definitely know what is on my mind

But you, I do not give that luxury

Because if I do, your perspective of me would change forever

And then the whole purpose of social media would have been defeated

After all, isn’t social media supposed to be for portraying the perfect side of us, and making everyone believe our lives are all fun and dandy?

Next time I log onto facebook, please ask me…

“What do you want everyone to think is on your mind?”

Now, that... I can be completely honest about.

Atilola Moronfolu

Pleeaassseee..... I need you to save me

Hello everyone,

Do you love me? Do you like me? Do you hate me, dislike me, can't be bothered about me, have no feeling for me whatsoever? Do you know me at all, or this is the first time you finding out that I exist? In fact, are you reading this blog post?

If you fall under any of the categories above, which you should if you are alive, this is the time for you to please help me. I am calling, begging, pleading, asking, for your help.

African Naturalistas Hair Products was nominated for the Youth Citizen Entrepreneurship Competition - an international contest launched by The Goi Peace Foundation, Stiftung Entrepreneurship (Berlin) and UNESCO. At https://www.youth-competition.org/groups/entrepreneurship-competition-2013/contests/1/571 you can read the details of the project and can vote for it. The award ceremony is during Germany's biggest entrepreneurship event, the Entrepreneurship Summit in Berlin, October 11-12, 2014.

I am asking for you to please vote for me. All I need from you is just one click on the vote button. Please, click here to vote. 

Please, support my dreams of entrepreneurship in Nigeria. You would not regret you did. Thanks

Close Shaves Series – part 6. The ruff rider story

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On February 25, 2010, I left client site, with the intent of going for my Business Unit meeting at the office. I had been loaned to another Business Unit for some time, and literally had to insist that they allow me go for my meeting, if they didn’t want to go for theirs. Both the client site, and my office were on the island, and I was not driving then, so I had to take a bus, since my other team members were not interested in going to the office.

In front of silverbird galleria, I saw hands hailing from a car. It was three of my colleagues, and they were going to the office for the BU meeting, from their own client site, so they parked, and waited for me, so I could join them in the car. I was about to cross to go and meet them when…

From their point of view, they waved at me, and beckoned on me to come, and then, I disappeared from the face of the earth. They were wondering what kind of magic just happened, since I wasn’t Enoch that walked with God, when they noticed a commotion.

From my point of view, I was crossing to go and meet them, and few seconds later, something was climbing my body.

Yes, a bike was riding on top of me, like actually riding. Now, to the story of how I did not die. Everyone in my office carries a laptop bag everywhere they go, and we normally prefer to carry the back pack, rather that the shoulder sling one. So I had my back pack on me, and as the bike was riding on me, the laptop bag on my back kept protecting me, and causing the bike to move backwards, as he tried to climb back on me. So it was like a back and forth ride on me, with the back pack pushing it back all the time. To cut the long story short, the back pack protected my real back, and the prevented the bike from climbing fully over my head. I shudder to think of the state of my skull, were it not for the back pack.

The next thing I knew, my body was sprawled all over the ground, my shoes gone, my phone scattered. I just thank God that my colleagues were actually around. They got me safely into the car, picked all my items, took me to a pharmacy to sort me out, put me in a taxi, that then took me straight to the hospital. They couldn’t take me to the hospital themselves because the hospital I chose using my HMO was not an island one, and my skull wasn’t shattered anyway. Till today, I don’t know what the bike or the bike guy that ran me over (and ran over me) looks like. My colleagues did not even stay on the scene for a second, after they moved me into the car.

I had bruises on my face, my knees (the fall was so bad, my trousers couldn’t protect my knees), my upper arm, my wrist, etc. I had bruises all over my body, but the worst was my right ankle.  In fact, if you apply pressure there today, I will still scream. I still have all the scars from the accident, except the on my face.
So I went to the hospital, and got dressed up. My brother came to pick me from the hospital, and my mum kept calling from the US to be sure I was very much alive. See pictures of some of the bruises below. These are by no means the only injures sustained, but the ones I have in picture

See the knife scar on my cheek. That wasn't a
close shave though. Another story

If the bike accident, the dressing of the bruises, and the daily visits to the hospital were all, it would have been great, and I would just give testimony.

But…

About a day or 2 later, my body started swelling. In fact, if you saw me, you would have thought I had miraculously grown fat. It started with my legs, and after a while I couldn’t really walk again. Even though I was not supposed to go to work, I was bored at home, and I went to work. By the time I sit for some hours, my whole body will swell. The only solution was to raise my leg, so I used a carton to support it. My team lead did not like the way the whole thing looked, so he told me to stop coming to work. He said it would look to clients like they were making me suffer, by making me work under such conditions, and would not know I was the one who wanted to work. As for me, I think my whole sight just irritated him. See pictures of swollen leg below.

Even though my whole body was swollen, the right foot, in
particular, was the biggest, since it was the most affected part

Anyway, that is how I left that team. I did not stay at home for long before my own BU called me back from the BU they loaned me to, and sent me to another client site, where I was free to wear slippers for as long as I pleased. See picture of when the would started to heal. You can see that tissues were affected. I think that is why I still feel pain till today.

In summary, the reason I am alive today is because of a the grace of laptop bag

And this is the end of the Close Shaves series, part 1-6. I hope you guys enjoyed the stories that caused me pain, and many times, brought tears to my eyes. But remember, the goal here is to celebrate the many occasions God has delivered me from the claws of death. If you missed any of the editions in this series, you can click here to catch up on them.

P.S: The worst physical pain I have ever experienced was not featured in this series. It was something I went through as a result of complication after a dental/jawbone surgery, in 2006. I would not wish the experience on my enemy. Even though it was the worst experience so far, it wasn’t a close shave with death.