Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts

How to fight dirty in the Information Age

Have you ever been cheated in a business transaction, by a business colleague? Has any business ever taken you for granted, and basically called your bluff because they felt you were a dog with a mere bark, and no bite? Do you have a strong social media presence, then let me teach you how to fight.
How do you like my pitch? Oya, straight down to business.

I am not ordinarily one for public shaming, especially since I know it is not cool to be a victim. However, I have now come to realise that sometimes, we must engage in public shaming, not because of any desire to humiliate or disgrace, but because sometimes, we must protect ourselves, warn other people, and send a message to people that they cannot just to things to others and think they would get away with it because their hands are tied. Now, I understand what Okechukwu Ofili must have felt when he called out Silverbird bookshop and other major bookshops in Nigeria who had been ripping off self-published authors because they had no one to stand up for them.

I started engaging a certain man, who we will call Mr C, when my herbs supplier in India introduced him to me as the man who could ship my herbs from India. She had gotten his contact online, through his website – another reason I think this medium is most appropriate since there are others like me who might make the mistake of trusting in his credibility after meeting him online.

After some calculations, and consulting with his colleagues in India, it was agreed that I would have to pay something close to 300 dollars to ship and clear my herbs. My supplier shipped the herbs to his Indian colleague. He asked me to pay 200 dollars, which I did in a matter of hours.

I was really eager to collect my herbs last year October, as I knew I would be travelling soon. He kept promising me my products. Let’s just say that between then and now, I have travelled to 5 different countries, yet he never brought my products to me.

It started with the story of the fact that some airlines were rejecting the herbs because powders required more scrutiny in Nigeria, which I completely understood, though my frustration knew no bounds.

Then the lies started. “The powders have been shipped. No, they were not shipped, NAHCO strike is affecting it. The warehouse has been locked for days. Christmas problems. New Year problems. Election problems.”

Through it all, I stayed calm. Mostly because I had no choice. The goods were with them, and my money was with them.

Some weeks after election, I got frustrated, and decided to call his Indian colleague. I found out this colleague was in Nigeria, and had been here for quite a while. He had dumped my package with another colleague of his there. That one had hustled to ship the herbs, and it had been here – since January!!!

I couldn’t believe my ears. This was a transaction I started since last year September, that was supposed to take few days. And this was now April.

To cut the long story short, the Indian counterparts asked Mr C to bring 510 dollars to clear the products. Mr C seemed to be fuming because we felt that was just too outrageous to clear products worth about N40,000.00. He said he would keep pricing it, and by this time I was getting impatient.

Anyway, two days later, Mr C said he doesn’t want to use his own personal issues to disturb me, that I should go and clear the herbs myself. He said he would return my 200 dollars. This was in April. I asked which personal issues. He said “I told you my father died. We are doing the funeral in the village.”

It was at this point my countenance towards him changed. He had told me about three weeks earlier that his mother died, and he went to bury her. Now, he was lying that it was his father.

Let’s just say between then and now, it has been a deluge of lies, avoidance, and more lies. He later begged to return N40,000.00 instead of 200 dollars, to which I agreed. The most painful part was that if Mr C didn’t pay the money, how would I take 510 dollars to clear those herbs? It would amount to me using 710 dollars to clear the herbs, and my loss would be massive.

After waiting and waiting and waiting, with more tons of promises, lies, and lies, and lies, I finally decided to clear the herbs myself, without informing Mr C. I did this because I didn’t know the reputation of the agent they had given my herbs to, if they would just dump them somewhere once they don’t see me. And most importantly, the herbs had been there since January. I had bought them since last year September, and they had expiry dates. I couldn’t let Mr C’s fraudulent character kill my own business demands.

On the day I cleared the herbs, Mr C paid me N10,000. Maybe in his mind, he felt he has paid me my money because since then, he has gone from lies and pleas to even raking for me. He just keeps saying “I will pay this week. I will pay next week.” I think because he believes it might not be a lot of money, I will get tired and leave it for him. But the truth is that it means, the loss I am already incurring would even be more.

And he was right in his thought. I got tired. This whole affair had gone on for too long – almost a year! Trust me, what I wrote here is a serious understatement of the real story. The full story will just be too long.

So what did I do? I decided to call Mr C out online, since the internet it where he gets his customers. So I wrote a full blog post like the one you read above, but I included his name, company, website, picture, etc.

I ended with this… “Don’t ever patronise Mr C. He is a liar, cheat, and a fraud! He takes advantage of the fact that people have no way of lashing and fighting back. Many times, he likes to play smart, but he is not that smart. Everyone who imports should stay far away from this man. I have decided to add his picture, in case his current company runs down, and he decides to set up another company.”

And then I sent the blog post to his email, telling him that the only reason he tried this nonsense with me is because he doesn’t know me and my reputation on social media. I told him he had till Monday morning 11.00 am to pay me my money, or the blog post would automatically appear. I would never take it down, unless the money was paid. Anyone who searches for his company would see the blog post. I then scheduled the post to appear at the promised time.

Of course, he knew I wasn’t kidding because I had already done the blog post. If I had gone to that length, then I couldn’t be bluffing.

As usual, he started agitating, and making promises. I didn’t even say anything, and never called him or made a request. Let’s just say that two days later, I received my money.

And that, my friends, is how to fight a battle in this age, without lifting a finger.

My Baffling Instagram Relationship

So I've been on Instagram for about a month, and I'm not sure how to describe my feeling about it. My refusal to join for a very long time was as a result of so many things including the fact that I hardly take pictures and its promotion and encouragement of narcissism.

Sometime last month, I just had this inexplicably urge to open an Instagram account even though I had absolutely no idea of what I would post on it. I informed Berry about the urge, and she basically asked me to just go ahead and open it.

So I opened the account and posted a flyer of one of my speaking engagements at oriental hotel. I followed some friends on Facebook and before I could say jack, got some decades of followers.

Right from them, I have observed some things about Instagram, and this is what I plan to share.

Instagram is too expensive to maintain, like a greedy mistress. It embezzles all my data without a care in the world. So after a week of being on it, I began to blame myself for getting on it in the first place.

Selfies and posies get the best likes. For every like you get on a quote picture, you can get 20 likes for selfie, posie picture or pouting pictures. So if you are more concerned about likes, go the route of narcissism. This was an issue for me because of course, I don't take pictures. So I have decided to accept that I won't have many likes. It is fine.

The only pictures I actually go out of my way to take are pictures of my food. I am a bit adventurous with food, but I'm not a foodie, if you get what I mean. I am an extreme healthy food enthusiast, and I like to make cheap food with whatever is readily available, yet not be boring. I therefore take pictures to keep records. I have loads and loads of pictures of my food. So once in a while, I post pictures of these on Instagram, letting people know they can have cheap healthy food right in their houses. These pictures also get more likes than the quotes.

Source
When it occurred to me that I will have to find something worthwhile to do with my Instagram account since I'm not a posie, and not exactly a foodie, I decided that it was best to put out my own intellectual property, in form of pictures. So I started making my pictures right from the scratch, using excerpts of my spoken word performance. This for me is the most genius thing I have ever done with the IG account, because I believe they are actually spoken word lines that jump at the reader and they have a strong message. Unfortunately, these get the least likes.

I was baffled at first. I thought it was something I was doing wrong. It was later I realised it was just the way it was. People would rather like a selfie than a quote. Most people don't go on Instagram to read, they just want to see another picture of a pretty face. Anyway I have decided to just be myself and keep posting my excerpts. If I do anything else, I'm sure I will shut the account down in less than 24 hours.

As for me, what kind of pictures do I like on Instagram? Since, I am more about content, I like pictures that have a clear message. Be it a quote, food, selfie, posie, once it has a clear message, I'm game. So I'm the kind of person who will like a picture with someone dancing with one leg over his head than with him just posing for the camera, because he is sending me a clear message that he is crazy and carefree.

Basically, if it speaks to me, I like it. If it's just another picture in the world of pictures, I will pass.

So here's what I learnt from Instagram. I will rather be myself than gun for likes. Narcissism is like greed. It can never be fed full. The more you get, the more you will want. It is best not to even go down that road. It's not cool to be that person who would take a million selfies just to gain approval on Instagram, but if it’s your cup of tea, be my guest.

Source
In the meantime, I will keep doing what suits me, whether I get likes or not, and that is to picturise my excerpts.

So after all said and done, please follow me on Instagram by clicking here or searching hattylolla001, and you will see pictures like the one below. Please let me know what you think about my pictures below.







The Stupidity and Foolishness of Social Media

I’m finding it really hard to understand the nonsense going on around social media now, especially Instagram, as many people complain. The nudity, endless pouting, pushing out of hips, look-at-the-ground pose, like you are looking for a lost coin, endless pictures of oneself on the internet is just appalling. I don’t have an Instagram account, so thankfully I have been spared from all these, but I hear endless complaints about this every day.

Some people might ask me why I am beefing. Is it them that sent me message not to like dressing up and taking pictures, not to know how to take a selfie. I am sorry o, I am not beefing. I am only saying I don’t understand, so if you are one of these people or you know them, please seat me down, and explain to me.

Why are people getting so narcissistic? Are they using it to oppress people? Are they using it to validate themselves? Or are they using it to seek validation from people? Why can’t we validate ourselves in the middle of our rooms? Why do we need social media to validate ourselves?

Gone are the days when the in-thing was to post graduation pictures from Stanford, imperial college, Harvard, and the likes to earn admiration of people.

Now the trend is wear fine cloth, suck stomach in, push non-existent hips out, turn face sideways/look to the ground, pout, snap 100 pics, choose the finest one (or the only fine one), edit it a bit, and post. Why, why, why?

Source
I once had one guy who claimed to like me, disturbing me with talks of how he must marry me. I went to his facebook page to find a little more about him, cos we were not really close in unilag days. I followed his IG app on his facebook page, and saw the kinds of pictures he was liking. They were all Nigerian girls, but my jaw dropped. I was DISGUSTED. Girls with heavily endowed booty and boobs will wear the tightest things, and then turn the backside to the camera. “Why do you want the whole world to see your backside?” Please, someone should explain. And then this guy will enter comments like “nice arse” and the girls will reply “thanks.” "Someone wake me up, I have fainted." I felt like puking. I thanked God then that I didn’t have an IG account.

Anyway, since this guy threatened me that he will marry me, I just jejely reported myself to my pastor saying “If I should ever bring a guy called xxx to you as a fiancée, never ever let me go through with the wedding.” Yes, I did that. I don’t joke with accountability. When guys like that threaten that they must get a girl, there’s no extent they won’t go to, including forming MFM stunts that they’ve repented.

I know a chronic womaniser on facebook who has children from multiple women. Till now, he does not take care of his kids or bear their financial burden. Anyway, he finally gets married to a woman who was not any of his baby mamas. His wife puts up a picture of her and hubby, and someone (most likely from the woman’s family, since I know everyone in the man’s family) puts up a comment saying “I just love this family.” I told my sister about it, and we were like “ehn ehn, so this is how people see pictures on the internet, and will be envying, not knowing what they are envying.” This is how people deceive people on the internet.

Now as for the celebrities flaunting wealth on the internet, as in raw cash and latest cars, I think that is the height of immaturity. I don’t know if because many of them just made such amount of money for the first time, or because they want to oppress their rivals. I honestly don’t know the reason, but it is completely crap. I read that some of them said they do it because they want to inspire others to work hard and be wealthy like them. Imagine! Someone that has not organised a seminar to help the creative industry in Nigeria or the world, or given a single music scholarship out is talking about inspiring. Issorait.

If you are one of the people oppressed by any of the categories mentioned or not mentioned in this post, well, let me tell you that respite has come. There is no need to feel bad or be oppressed, because 99% of the time, everything is a LIE!

Source
Anyway, whether it is the nudity on Instagram, the endless selfies and pouting and posing on Instagram, the lies about how our lives are perfect on facebook, flaunting of cash, cars, and champagne, we must all agree that there’s a menace, and we can no longer shut our eyes, pretending that it is not happening.

I am not sure there’s anything we can do about it than to keep talking about it till the guilty parties know that it is not okay to flaunt boobs, cash, latest clothes, and all sorts on social media. That way, maybe the menace will reduce, and it won’t be cool anymore. Or maybe I am just indulging in wishful thinking because I am not sure I see it getting better.

I just pity the next generation, to whom all these things might seem normal. Sometimes, I am just glad I will be dying in the next 60 to 70 years, because I am not sure how much more of this nonsense I can take without saying “Can somebody just kill me now?”

What is on your mind, can you be honest?

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I wrote and posted this on facebook sometime in May. I think blogsville people would love it. Enjoy



I logged on to Facebook today, and the first question I was asked was “What’s on your mind?”

I then wonder, “What exactly do you want to do with the information on my mind?”

What if I were honest…

What if I told you I had been thinking about the latest punches and kicks I received from my husband? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “And they look like such a perfect couple.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how after 33 years of singleness, no man is even looking my way, sending me to tears every night? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “Upon how fine she is? She must have a bad attitude.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how my flashy lifestyle has gotten me into heavy loan debts with banks? Then what would be on your mind about me? “And I was envying him, thinking he is a big boy.”

What if I told you I have been thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years, cos he was just a frog that would never turn into a prince, no matter the number of kisses (and sex)? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “And I thought she had the best BF in the world.”

What if I told I have been thinking about how the stigma of been gang-raped 7 years ago has not afforded me the opportunity to move on? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “You self, how did you get yourself into that situation?”

What is I told you have been thinking about how God is good, the best thing that ever happened to me, my best friend, etc? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “All this religious hypocrites, always making themselves look holy on the internet.”

What if I told you I have been thinking about how I have not had a job for two years, can’t provide my family, and my wife is the current breadwinner? Then what would be on your mind about me? Is it “He is not even a real man. I’m sure his wife is controlling him at home.”

What if I told you I have been thinking…

So dear Facebook friends, I definitely know what is on my mind

But you, I do not give that luxury

Because if I do, your perspective of me would change forever

And then the whole purpose of social media would have been defeated

After all, isn’t social media supposed to be for portraying the perfect side of us, and making everyone believe our lives are all fun and dandy?

Next time I log onto facebook, please ask me…

“What do you want everyone to think is on your mind?”

Now, that... I can be completely honest about.

Atilola Moronfolu