How Movie Adaptations defrauds its viewers

I am an avid book reader and a movie watcher.  After immersing myself into both worlds, I have come to understand that a movie adaptation has never ever done justice to the book it was adapted from. Not Harry Potter, not Curious Case of Benjamin Button, not Lord of The Rings or The Hobbit, not Silence of the lambs or Hannibal, not any Chronicles of Narnia, not Les Miserables, not any book.

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While reading Les Miserable, and for the first book in the first volume (it is divided into volumes, books and chapters), I was wondering if I had the wrong book, as I had done myself the injustice of watching the movie first, even though I got the book before I got the movie. A whole lot was cut off from the book when it was made into the movie. If you are curious and are interested in getting the complete story, not just 30% of what you think is the story, please, get the book and read. No matter how good the movie had been, it is just not it when compared to the book. All I can say is we were defrauded.

Les Miserables, using it as an example, is literary fiction, not commercial fiction. Commercial fictions are plot driven books, while literary fictions are character driven books. This means if you adapt literary fiction to movies, and you cut what makes the character out, you have cut off about 80% of the book. I understand the fact that Les Miserables is a very voluminous book, and they would not be able to adapt every single part into the movie, but the injustice done in this case was massive. Imagine a bishop who had a whole Book with several chapters dedicated to him in the book having just two scenes in the movie. Marius's grandfather and father nko? Nothing!

Now did the movie script writer do anything bad by cutting important parts out? No. Was the script interesting? Yes. Was it good? Yes.

But the question here is, does it give the viewers the whole picture, does it tell the whole story? The answer is a big No. If you think because you watched a movie adaptation, you know the whole story, you would only be kidding yourself.

Why does Severus Snape hate Harry Potter so much, what is his origin? Why exactly did the bishop cover up for Jean Valjean, what legacy did he leave? All these things are not what you can get from the movies. You have to read the book to know the whole story, eat the real cake and not just get fed on the icing sugar these movie adaptations tend to feed us.

This is not just about Les Miserables, I'm just using it as a case study. This is about all books that have been turned into movies. I haven't read or watched Hunger Games, but I heard it is one of the most poorly adapted movies ever.

So what am I saying here? If you watch or want to watch a movie adaptation, and you love the story line, and you really want to get the whole picture, then please, read the original book. The book is always far more interesting than the movie, anyway, since it always has the whole story.

Don't let yourself get robbed

In other news, when I watched video the stage performance of the Les Miserables cast at the 2013 Oscars, I got goose bumps, and almost cried because I couldn't sing. I am so sad that Gavroche wasn't in the performance. Did you know that Gavroche is Eponine's brother? So, you see why you have to read the books? Anyway, wacth the video

A new kind of scam in Nigeria

I was lying gently on my bed when what looked like recharge card numbers came as a text message on my phone. Since I wasn't expecting such gift from anyone, I decided to call the number that sent me the 'credit' to find out whom God laid on his heart to bless me this Holiday season. I then remembered that I had no credit on my phone, and decided to go out to get credit. As I was going downstairs, a call came on my phone. The caller said one Baba in Ife wanted to send credit to his son in school, and mistakenly sent it to my number. I felt relieved that I didn't have to stress myself to get credit again, and I told the guy I was also wondering why someone will send me credit. I told him I was just about to go and get credit to call the number, and that they should not worry, that I did not load it. They should use the credit.

The guy said he wanted me to text the credit back because the Baba threw the voucher away before he realised his mistake. I told him the message should be in the sent items. The guy said the Baba doesn't really know much about phones, that I should please send it back. Disappointed that I still had to get the credit after all, I proceeded to go and buy it.

About two minutes after I sent the credit, the guy called me back and said the Baba is really grateful, and wants to personally thank me. Then he passed the phone, and I heard one shrill voice that sounded forced.

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The guy started thanking me profusely and praying for me, my finances, future, family, husband, and everything you can imagine. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you would know by now that when strange or shocking things happen to me, my immediate reaction is to start smiling, with a sarcastic grin on my face. In the face of grave danger, I have been known to have this look. This was the same look on my face when the Baba was praying. He asked for my name, I told him. He said shebi I live in Lagos, I said yes. He asked where I work, I said I don't work. He kept on praying. It was all those very intense Yoruba prayers. After a while, the prayer was getting too long, and I was becoming tired and suspicious. He now said the reason why he's asking for where I work is so that he can pray for me to excel at work. I said I don't work. I expected him to end the call. He still kept on praying. So I just cut the call on him.

Two weeks later, I was chatting on my BB, which is not my primary phone. Emails and messages came in, but I couldn’t read them because I was still chatting with someone. Next thing, a call comes in and I pick. The guy goes, one Baba in Ife wanted to send credit to his son, but mistakenly… Immediately I heard Baba, Ife, and Credit, I just cut the line. I checked my text message, and behold it was a string of recharge card numbers that I am sure were fake. The guy called again, I cut it again.

About 5 minutes later, the guy called once more. I picked it and said "Look here, look here. Don’t come and be yarning dust for me. You called me two weeks ago, saying this same rubbish, and one Baba was saying fake prayers…”

This time, it was the guy that cut the line.

I just want to warn people out there. This is the new kind of scam going on. If they can call two different lines of mine in a space of two weeks, I wonder how many people they would have reached.

These people are most likely identity thieves, and they use a technique call Social Engineering. All they need is very few basic details about you, and they will get all other information enough to clear you out. It is easy for them to get the vulnerable ones. Unfortunately for them, they met a like mind in me. I have been scheming from my mother’s womb, and I know that if not that God saved me a long time ago, I would most likely be a female fraudster. Where their own ends, that’s where my own starts. Rubbish people.

Four sure-fire ways to stay awake throughout church night vigils

It really breaks my heart to see people go for church vigils, and end up falling asleep. I mean, is it not better to sleep on your bed, than to go church, suffer yourself unnecessarily, and then sleep in church, while your bed remains empty? You don’t get to pray, yet you don’t get to sleep comfortably. Talk about losing both ways.

When you see someone geared up for vigil, and during praise and worship or the first one or two prayer points, that person is bouncing up and down round the hall, shouting on top of his voice, etc., know that this one no go last. In the next 20 minutes, his eyes will begin to expire.

Why is that? It is because there is a skill to staying awake all night during vigils. It has nothing to do with how holy or unholy you are, or how long you slept or didn’t sleep during day. During vigils, it is a different ball game. There always seems to be a demon of sleep prowling around, and I am going to give you strategies to conquer this demon. These strategies work. This is not an OR circuit, it is an AND circuit. It means you must implement all the strategies to get the benefit.

1. Kopiko or any other coffee sweet is your friend. This is very important. You must bring enough kopiko for yourself and the people sitting beside you. When you open the pack, ask your seat neighbours if they want. They will most likely say yes, as people don’t really are very open and down to earth during vigils. Whether they accept or not, at least, they will know you are ready for serious business, and don’t intend to sleep. And if they know what is good for them, they will not sleep too. If your eyes are threatening to close, just slip kopiko into your mouth. If your head or hands are going limp, slip in the kopiko. Any sign the demon is coming near you, slip in the kopiko. The idea is that by the time the vigil is coming to an end, you must be high on kopiko.

2. Come armed. Not with charms or guns to kill the sleep demon. In your bag, pack sweets, water, Fanta, and other sugary drinks. Don’t pack eba or pounded yam o. In any case, the goal is not to consume all these things you came armed with. It is actually the fact that the knowledge that you have something in your bag to keep you awake, will actually keep you awake. Don’t ask me how, but it works. I guess it’s a mind thing. If you feel your eyes getting closed sometimes, you can just take a gulp of water from your ammunition, every 30 minutes.

3. When praying, don’t stand on a spot. Standing on a spot when praying will make you feel relaxed, and let the tiredness descend on you. Before you know it, you will be sleeping and standing at the same time, and people will think you have entered the spiritual realm, not knowing you are in dreamland.

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When praying, the tactic is to map a straight line route for yourself, and walk to and fro along that path like a pendulum bob. Don’t rush the walk, or else you will wear yourself out, and don’t walk too slowly too, like you are counting your steps. You are there to pray, not to avoid sleeping. They are two different things.

4. Never sit down. If you didn’t do number 1, 2, and 3, you must do this. This singular point is why people succeed or fail when it comes to sleeping at vigils. The only time you should sit down during vigil is if the pastor is giving a sermon, and by that time, I expect that you are high on kopiko. If you are sitting and standing, you think you are saving your strength, but the truth is that you are giving your knees more work to do, and giving yourself a faster chanced to be tired. Don’t sit down when a scripture to back up a prayer point is being explained. Don’t sit down when a prayer point is being read. Don’t sit down when someone wants to pass in your front. I don’t care if the vigil lasts 3 hours or 6 hours. Whatever you do, never sit down. I know it sounds harsh, but the problems that chased you to vigil in the first place too are also harsh and not smiling, and remember you have your bed to embrace all day, so delay the gratification. If you sit down, you will be tempted to sit for 10 seconds more, and another 10 seconds, and another…. Before you know it, you will deceive yourself into believing you can pray effectively while sitting, and then what happens, BAM! the sleep demon wraps itself round you. What do we have here? Another one bites the dust.

So here are fail-safe ways to keep yourself awake during prayer vigils. That problem that gave you the idea that you should leave your comfortable bed, and go to church all night must die o. You cannot let sleep deny you your breakthrough, lol.

Try all these four pointe, and you will be an expert night vigil-kipper in church. If you are lucky, you will even receive an award for it, by becoming the head of your department in church.

A Stolen Kilishi and a Broken Heart

After ignoring the whole world one day, and spending my whole day making hair products (I shut the world out when I make products, cos it is such a physical and mental activity), I was finally able to settle a bit by 4pm. I saw my brother eating kilishi, so I begged him for small so I could drink garri with it since I had not eaten anything since the previous day.

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I carried my part of the kilishi to my room, and then remembered I had no sugar left. I ran out to buy 10 naira sugar, prepared my garri in the kitchen, and went to check the bed rest for my kilishi. Behold, my kilishi had disappeared. I immediately suspected the culprit, but I wanted to give it a benefit of doubt. I searched the whole room and even the kitchen. Behold, no kilishi. It was just my brother and I at home, and I was the only one on that floor, as my brother was in the pent house section. Besides, my brother couldn’t have stolen my kilishi. He was the one who gave me, and he still has his own left. So I knew for sure the rat that had been living with me for the past two months stole my kilishi. I looked at the part where I kept it again, and I saw a crumb of the kilishi there. My suspicions were therefore confirmed.

I had already put water in my garri, sugar and milk before I realized my kilishi had been stolen, so there was no going back. I had to drink my garri without anything. Besides even if the thief returned my kilishi, or I caught it, I could not collect it back from it naa. Abi how can I be dragging food with rat?

Believe it or not, as I was drinking the garri, I was hearing the rat right behind my bed, eating the kilishi. I’m serious. I was drinking plain garri, and the rat was eating the kilishi, and making annoying noise while doing so. It was a heartbreaking situation.

What is the moral of the story, you might say? Actually, a lot. If you must have a roommate, have one you can accuse, beat, talk to, ask for a return, should they ever steal your stuff. The second lesson is that when you have a good thing, the pests around you will notice it, especially if the thing has a great aroma, and they will try to snatch is from you. It is your duty to guard your stuff well, especially when you have bad people (pests) around you, if not, they will steal your stuff, and even parade it in front of you, leaving you with emotional wounds to nurse.

Thirdly, never ever try to endure a parasitic relationship. If the relationship is destructive or draining you, you are the one who does the texting, calling, giving, every thing, the other party just eats and collects, end it before it even has a chance to start. I knew I should have killed that rat since, my mum even told me over and over again to poison the thing, but I chose to endure and hoped it would just go. See what it resulted to. A stolen kilishi and a broken heart.