A Stolen Kilishi and a Broken Heart

After ignoring the whole world one day, and spending my whole day making hair products (I shut the world out when I make products, cos it is such a physical and mental activity), I was finally able to settle a bit by 4pm. I saw my brother eating kilishi, so I begged him for small so I could drink garri with it since I had not eaten anything since the previous day.

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I carried my part of the kilishi to my room, and then remembered I had no sugar left. I ran out to buy 10 naira sugar, prepared my garri in the kitchen, and went to check the bed rest for my kilishi. Behold, my kilishi had disappeared. I immediately suspected the culprit, but I wanted to give it a benefit of doubt. I searched the whole room and even the kitchen. Behold, no kilishi. It was just my brother and I at home, and I was the only one on that floor, as my brother was in the pent house section. Besides, my brother couldn’t have stolen my kilishi. He was the one who gave me, and he still has his own left. So I knew for sure the rat that had been living with me for the past two months stole my kilishi. I looked at the part where I kept it again, and I saw a crumb of the kilishi there. My suspicions were therefore confirmed.

I had already put water in my garri, sugar and milk before I realized my kilishi had been stolen, so there was no going back. I had to drink my garri without anything. Besides even if the thief returned my kilishi, or I caught it, I could not collect it back from it naa. Abi how can I be dragging food with rat?

Believe it or not, as I was drinking the garri, I was hearing the rat right behind my bed, eating the kilishi. I’m serious. I was drinking plain garri, and the rat was eating the kilishi, and making annoying noise while doing so. It was a heartbreaking situation.

What is the moral of the story, you might say? Actually, a lot. If you must have a roommate, have one you can accuse, beat, talk to, ask for a return, should they ever steal your stuff. The second lesson is that when you have a good thing, the pests around you will notice it, especially if the thing has a great aroma, and they will try to snatch is from you. It is your duty to guard your stuff well, especially when you have bad people (pests) around you, if not, they will steal your stuff, and even parade it in front of you, leaving you with emotional wounds to nurse.

Thirdly, never ever try to endure a parasitic relationship. If the relationship is destructive or draining you, you are the one who does the texting, calling, giving, every thing, the other party just eats and collects, end it before it even has a chance to start. I knew I should have killed that rat since, my mum even told me over and over again to poison the thing, but I chose to endure and hoped it would just go. See what it resulted to. A stolen kilishi and a broken heart.

50 comments

  1. Lol
    You will not kill me
    Try rat poison, should work the magic :)

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    1. Lol. The reason I did not do that was because I did not like the idea of having a rat die in my room. It has never happened before, and I don't want it to happen.

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  2. Replies
    1. You can imagine. E no even fear, lol.

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  3. ahahahaa......love your analogy!
    Do we ever listen when we are advised to cut off parasitic relationships? Until we see the damage they cause?

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    1. Abi o. Me too, I dint listen to my mama.

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  4. LOL...I had the same thought at 1+ The One: bold rat indeed! Please, you must get rid of it!

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    1. I have. Or should I say it mistakenly got rid of itself, lol.

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  5. lol, I have a poem I posted on Mr. Rat years ago... I hate those things, almost as much as I hate mosquitoes.Sorry about your Kilishi.

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    1. It was a sad event. Thanks for commiserating with me.

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  6. Oh God I hate rats. I would have abandoned the room. And the way you used the situation to analyze relationships with people, genius. Now I guess it's time to end this parasitic relationship. Please poison that rat.

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    1. Lol. I didn't poison it, but it's gone.

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  7. LOL! Such an awesome read! Love how you made a lesson out of that !!

    KIMBERLYLUXE + From A Wildflower

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  8. The rat must have been watching you as you jejely placed the kilishi on the bed rest. That is one bold rat sha. I don't like them sam sam.

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    1. Very true, now that you mention it, because I didn't even waste time in coming back.

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  9. Rats...eeek!!!!!! Disgusting!!! I love how your mind works. A friend of mine recently ended a parasitic relationship last week and she's all the better for doing so. As for that rat, don't kill it first, use a gum pad so you can eyeball it when it is caught before handing it over to a mallam for the final show down! Bastard rodent. Such impunity!!!

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    1. Looolll. Kai, you know I know you are mean. But the rat deserves it sha.

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  10. How dare it. The rat is bold! Ati poison the rat already.

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    1. I just did not want a dead rat in my room. Don't mind me.

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  11. Good moral of the story. Now just make sure that rat dies!!!

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    1. I'm not sure its dead yet, but we are no more room mates, lol.

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  12. It's a funny story that managed to coin very real life messages.Advise the rat to disappear before something brings me to your house,else....................

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    1. Wow. You sound like a professional rat killer. I should hire you.

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  13. Hmmm... I like the lessons that flowed from your experience; very serious lessons! I have taken them into consideration...

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    1. Eeya, thanks. I actually wrote and scheduled the post when the rat was eating the stuff.

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  14. Lol rat saga! nasty little fing....
    Serious lesson learnt, WORD!

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    1. Really nasty. It had no pity at all, and carried the whole thing.

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  15. You should have just given the rat the garri nau...so the meal will be balanced...That rat deserves to die by hanging for stealing in broad day light...pele

    Parasitic relationships can be annoying and it's draining also...

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    1. Give the rat wetin, lai lai o. I had not eaten since the previous day, and that was what made the whole thing even more painful.

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  16. Lmaooo@Sykik. Wicked sombory. After she lost kilishi, she should now give up the milky garri too? lool. That rat though, such guts!

    Parasitic/draining relationships went with 2013 biko. No more foolishness

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    1. Sykik didn't consider how hungry I was when she made the statement, lol. The rat is really bold, now that you guys are saying it.

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  17. Lmao!!!!!!
    I Love the moral lesson.
    EVERY WICKED SOMEBODY THAT STEALs MY "KILISHI" LET THEM BE SEPARATED FROM ME BY FIRE OH......hehe.........
    Who's with me???

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    1. Amen oooo. We don't need such parasites on our lives.

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  18. Now that is really funny!! Your rat tenant that lives rent free in your house.. Now as the movie that says "Romeo must die" your version should be "rat must die"

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    1. Abi o, not paying rent, yet stealing my stuffs. Such impunity!

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  19. You see?!!! When I extolled God for the demise of the tenant in this post http://honeydame1.blogspot.com/2013/06/testimony-time.html you people were judging me! U see life?!
    Dey dere o! Let the tenant be eating the spoil of the land, while you are being the martyr!

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    1. Lol at Martyr. I refuse to be a martyr to such a creature, when there are bigger things to die for.

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  20. Looool, i like the concluding part of the story. Pele dear, it must have been very painful!

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    1. It was really painful. I wanted to cry.

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  21. Ahn ahn, such nerve! All these rats sef.

    Please poison the rat o before it drags your plate of food someday :)

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    1. Na from clap e dey take enter dance. Nothing is impossible.

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  22. Loool interesting post.

    You should have been the best hostess by offering the garri to the rat as well...it would love you forever haha

    Parasitic friendships/relationships....*sigh* if only life was that easy.

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    1. If I catch you and break your head, ehn. I can dash you the rat.

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  23. Interesting post with great moral.....do yourself a favor and poison that rat

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  24. Chai! I might have cried! Kilishi o! They no born that rat well lol. Pele Abeg kill the thing.

    As for the morales lol

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    1. Thanks jare. I just tried my best not to cry.

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  25. Am liking all ur post keep it up.

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  26. Am liking all ur post keep it up.

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