A Letter to Undo

Hi People, how did your Christmas go, hope fine? As I might have hinted on some bloggers' comment boxes, I am not actually a fan of Christmas because I feel it is always abused by some people, I still managed to have a relatively good time. I tried not to eat too much cos I hate having to deal with a bloated stomach.

As for the bombing, I have been trying so hard to hold my tongue from uttering words against Mr President for the past three months. Words are powerful and I don't want to prophesy negatively into his life. I didn't vote for him and I don't regret my decision. I don't even want to think to much cos it makes me feel powerless and I hate feeling powerless. This I know, 'One day, bush meat go catch the hunter.'

As for the entry game, Apart from one person, every single person that voted asked for A Letter to Undo. I found this very surprising, as I thought everyone will ask for In My Pocket, which is the one I prefer in the three. Though, no one voted for it. Its all good sha. Please, find below the unedited verion of the entry. Constructive criticisms will be appreciated, thanks.

SORRY! THE LETTER HAD TO BE TAKEN DOWN AFTER 28 DAYS IN ORDER TO SERVE ITS INTENDED PUBLISHING PURPOSE.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

P.S: I am in the process of expanding my business, it has nothing to do with hair. I am currently opening it up for private placements. It is a business that is not affected by the power supply or fuel subsidy situation of Nigeria. Send a mail to hattylolla@yahoo.com if you think you might be interested in owning part of it.


Regards.

Awards and Hankiddictions... The Entry game continues

Good day people. How was your weekend, hope cool? Mine was really nice. Apart from a little itch when OH lost his car keys late at night in Eko Hotel and we had to go in mine and did not find it until the next morning when we went to church, also at Eko Hotel, things went fine.

My company’s end of the year party was on Saturday, it was an old school affair. As some of you already know, I work for one of the world’s Big 4. You are allowed to speculate which one of them it is cos the day I mention it, that will be the day my blogging activities will end, as long as I am their staff. It is a matter of company policy cos the firm give’s opinion all over the world and I have to be seen as not giving opinions on social network. If by now, you still don’t have a clue, well, all I can say is wait till I am no more their staff.

Niways, guess who won the award of the most unusual and different staff on Saturday. Well, you guessed right... me. This is my second award at work this year. I talked about the first one in this post. Before you assume that i am one performer like that, let me quickly mention that none of these awards are work related. The one of July was the community service award of the year, while that of Saturday was because I am actually always different in everything, the way I make my hair, wear my heel, etc. They called this category the Lady gaga award, so you can imagine. Though I don’t like Lady gaga at all, I don’t even know any of her songs, I like the description of the category. In fact when nomination categories were sent out, I laughed silently, knowing that I was a number one culprit and no one could actually get this award but me. Most human beings are just too normal.



The Community service award. A sane pic of me at the background



Me in my elements

Me rocking the party, old school style

Leaving awards aside, I want to thank God from curing me from an addiction of 11 years. It might not sound serious but I can tell you that it wasn’t funny anymore. It is about handkerchiefs. Since year 2000, I couldn’t do without holding handkerchiefs. In fact, if I did not hold a handkerchief in, my palms will start shaking and sweating, eventually spreading to my face. It later got serious and handkerchiefs were no more enough. I graduated from hanky to face towel. I later realized in 2009 that people thought I did it for spiritual reasons but I had no knowledge of this until someone decided to ask me. Imagine my surprise... I guess it’s because they realized I couldn’t do without it.

OH complained about it when our relationship started getting serious so I decided to step it down to handkerchiefs again. The main issue was that I had to hold on to something, either a handkerchief, phone, etc. If I lost the hanky along the way, I looked for a tissue paper or saviette. One day, I looked at some of my pictures, every single one had an image of face towel or handkerchief in my palms. At this point, I knew the situation was beyond control. I desired to stop but could not.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me announce to you today that my hankiddiction has been cured. One day, I just realized I wasn’t holding it anymore, yet I wasn’t shaking and sweating. It started by me not having to hold it for several hours without even noticing and later I just stopped completely. This is what prayer can do, break 11 years of minor addictions. Thank God

As I said, the entry games continue. What do you want to read next?

1. A letter to undo- It is a letter about a girl who regrets the decisions she made writing a letter to her past, trying to tell her past what not to do. She is basically wishing the letter could automatically change her past

2. In my pocket- This involves short skits of drama eclipsed with a poem. It is about chief shokolokobangoshe and how he has all the sectors of Nigeria in his pocket, how he abuses power and uses it for his selfish needs. He is very boastful about this fact

3. Professor Greed- This is a poem about a man whose whole being has been consumed by greed since he was a child. He is basically asking greed to leave him alone but he is trapped.

So, which one do you want to read? Remember, the one with the highest vote gets published. Also, it will only be on my blog for a minimum of one month and a maximum of two months, before it finds it permanent place in the book.

P.S: No one got the answer to the question in my last post. I get to hold on to my gift and also I will keep the answer to myself.

Its December 15!

Hey people, it is December 15, exactly the beginning of the third week in Decemeber. It is time for me to come back to my baby, like I promised. I mistakenly said I'll be back by the third week, instead of the fourth week but since I already said it, I will stand by my word. My word is the only thing I can give people like you so you can have it, lol.

So to kick off, I did some things on my blog a month ago. Who can tell me what this is? There will be a gift for the first correct answer oo. Yea, I know it is difficult, but considering the fact that it is going to be a copy of my first book ever, I think it is worth a try. Though, the 'gift' won't be ready until next year.

When I took a break from blogger, I kicked off my editing business. Forget the typos you see on my blog post sometimes, that is if you see any. But as some of you know, I have been the editor and publisher of some neighbourhood newsletters in Lagos for the past two years. So yeah, I have experience but that is another business. I sabi English, no be small. I am one of the people that actually listened to their English teachers back in primary school, so preposition, conjunction, defininite and indefinite articles, etc still dance alanta in my brain. I guess it is just my passion.

I commenced the manuscript editing business sometime in September and I would love you to give me a chance if you have an unpublished book you desire to publish. I am currently working on a fellow blogger's book, which I am almost done with and by the Grace of God, will be working on another blogger's book, come January. If you have more questions, just click the 'Edit your Books!' tab or just click here.

People, I have really missed blogger but I know wasup with all of you sha. As long as you blogged about it, then I can tell you that I read it. 9Ja Great has suddenly become a counsellor and a caring man, *smh*. Myne and Dunni are taking a ride down the Babs lane, Gospel Girl is nowhere to be found, Naijamum has fallen off the flat surface, Hazel suffered some shenanigans from her house help and nanny, Cherry Chatter is not finding it funny at all when it comes to the relationship thing, she's dishing it out very hot, Blessing is finding contentment, TamunoIbifiri is trying to lose weight, Unveiling Gold has finally passed her exams, HoneyDame and Ginger just keeps asking of me, etc. If I didn't mention you and you blogged, just know this, I know what you did last night. Some people have left, new people have come. I have to start searching for new blogs to follow.

Concerning the entries for my book, we will continue the one out of three entries game in my next post. Thanks so much for everything guys, I love you people, I really do. So here is a picture I am dedicating to myself, that is assuming I was missed. In the mean time, don't forget to allow me edit your books. I need to buy food to feed myself, abeg.



Picture from maronsi.com



I'll be back

Hiya, my blog family. Yes, do you actually realize that we are a family? Well, I will explain why I said that in another post. But this post is for another matter.

I know some people don't notify the blog family before they do this but as for me, blogging has become a very important and major part of my life and I will love to keep it that way for as long as possible.

So many things have been happening to me lately and many more will still happen between now and December. After weighing the current circumstances of my life, I have decided to stop my blogging activities for the next two months. Believe me when I say that if I don't do this, so many things will suffer. This is because I am very much addicted to blogger.

I won’t be updating and I won’t be commenting on your blogs. I will be using Google reader to read all your posts whenever I am in Lagos traffic, so if you thought you were gonna gossip about me cos I am not here, you better think again. I am going for a while but I still have a camera on you all *evil laughter*.

To everyone that gave me the versatile blogger award Priscy, a9Ja Great, Dammy Jewel and others. I really thank you so much. I actually thought I would have been able to do a post on that but unfortunately, that is not the case. Please, don’t stop nominating me o. Remember, I am watching

As for my book entries, the one that i am supposed to be putting one in every entries on blogger, I will continue that when I get back

I will be updating the natural hair blog because all the posts are ready and will be scheduled, some naturalistas have come to rely on that blog and it is good to be consistent

I will really miss you guys and your plenty comments on my blog. Someone once asked me how I get so many comments. She has far more followers and gets like 10 and I have lesser and sometimes get 40 - 50 but I really didn’t know the reason why that is the case. So I am taking time to thank you guys so much. I am very grateful.

Picture edited by @ilola

I’ll be back by 3rd week in December, if I don’t come back by then, don’t allow me rest on twitter. I seriously doubt that this will be the case. *tears and tight emotional hugs* commot dia 9ja great, no hug me tight jo, don’t you know you are a naughty? Lol. Na you talk am o, no be meee o.

*grins, cries, waves goodbye, turns back and runs off*.

One lovely blog award

 I have gotten three different awards/tags in the past four days. I just have to find a way to doing all of them in the order which I was tagged. The first is One lovely blog award, I was awarded this by The relentless builder. I want to thank you so much for the recognition

Here goes the rules


Link back to the person who gave you the award
Complete the form below
Tell seven random things about yourself
Nominate 15 bloggers


Name your favorite color

I don't have favourites. No favourite anything. Sorry

Name your favorite song

No favourite

Name your favorite dessert

No favourite

What pisses you off?

Shallow people and shallow discussions

When you are upset you

I hardly get angry but if that ever happens, I like to sleep. I feel better when I wake up

Your favorite pet

None, I don't do pets

 Black or white?

Black o, white gets dirty easily. The dust in Lagos is not fun at all

Your biggest fear

Fear of death. I know I shouldn't have this phobia cos I am a Christian. I guess I still have more work to do on myself

Everyday attitude

Achieve all I can achieve for the day. Maximise it to the fullest

Your best feature

My hips.

What is perfection?

Perfection is having a flawless relationship with God

Guilty pleasure

Thinking about the day I will get married and have the legally spiritual right to have sex. What will it be like? etc.. Please, don't yap me ooo

7 Random things about myself:

• I am 5'5 in height 
• I am a British size 6, American size 2
• I work three jobs. 
• I can listen to sermons from morning till night, I never get tired of hearing people preach
• I spend more money on my hair care than food or anything else. And I don't even use extensions. smh
• I enjoy watching cartoons. I don’t think I will ever outgrow them. 
• I have a strong personality, which can work against me at tmes

Tags

Please, let me twist it a bit. I tag the first 15 commenters, excluding me. Thanks a lot for reading


P.S: I don't like watching cartoons. It was a copy and paste error from the person that tagged me. Sorry, Relentless Builder. 
I kept wondering where cartoon comments came from till I checked the post again.

Mummy likes mine best

Hello people, thanks for all the comments in my last post. They were really helpful, and I have learnt more, what will I do without you guys? I am definitely going to rewrite a whole lot on the story. My phone has been repaired, but sadly I lost all my documents. I wanted to repair it in Nokia at first, they said N10,600 but the sad part is that they couldn’t guarantee that the documents won’t be lost so I just took it to computer village where I repaired it for N3000. At least, I did pay as much even though the N3000 pained me small too. I just lied to you all, I did not lose any document, it is all intact. I am dancing up and down now

So onto today’s post, I realised that some people were finding it hard to believe how the mother acted in the last post. Well people, that stuff is real and some girls went through such after being abused by their fathers. Niways, by the time I am done with this post, you will realise that that mother was an angel compared to some other mothers

About nine years ago, I was listening to a program on Metro 97.6 FM, where some counsellor of an NGO was being interviewed. At some point the woman told us of a call she got that same morning. People, this is true, better believe it. I did not hear this story from someone that told someone that told someone, I heard it directly from the NGO counsellor that was handling the case. When she was telling us, the case was still with the police force

Basically, the guy had four children. The first born was about four-five years, a set of twins of about three and a last child of about two. Can’t remember the gender arrangement, I can only remember that the first born is a guy. The parents are both working class people and they had a wonderful marriage. So the man walks in one day and finds the children seriously arguing. They were saying ‘mummy likes my own best’, ‘no its mine mummy likes best, she told me’, ‘no its mine’, etc. The guy wanted to find out what the cause of argument was and then called the children.

They were reluctant to answer at first because the mummy told them not to tell daddy or so, but you know kids, it did not even take much effort from the man before everything came out. Basically, the woman was telling her children to perform oral sex on her. Yes, you read right, she always asked them to take turns in licking her vagina every night. She then went on to even say one pleases her the most and I guess she had told them this statement at different times and it led to the argument. So it was a thing of pride for them.

In case, you forgot their age, you can read the fourth paragraph again. They couldn’t have known they were doing anything wrong then, so she basically used their innocence to please herself and abuse them. Pure evil! I really pitied the man when I heard this. The counsellor said the man was as confused as anything at the time she was giving the interview. What do you expect the man to do? He never suspected because, mehn! This is their mother we are talking about. A normal looking human being like our colleagues we meet at school and work. Apparently, they don’t label people’s foreheads with the word ‘Child Abuser’ when we are looking for a partner

How else can we protect our kids? You keep them from lesson teachers, nannies, uncles, cousins, etc. So will we now start keeping them from our spouses? Or is it that before we leave our houses every morning, we will not tell our partner ‘honey, I am leaving for the office, please make sure you don’t sexually abuse junior, because you know these things happen?’

Well people, here it is, happening here live. Those kids are almost teenagers now, only God knows what happened to them and became of their family.

Leaving you for now, you can blow off your steam in the comment session. I am all ears

So, I am still working on the entries for my book. I need 60 entries but right now I have only 33, some of which are poems and comedy from this blog. Anyway, I will be posting some for you to read as we have been on this journey together. So this is how intend to go about it. After every three entries I complete, I will put the title and what they are about. Then you will all choose the one you want to read and I will put up the one with the highest vote. I won’t be responsible if you choose the wackest of the three o.

So onto the current three

1. Blessing Gbeborun- A pidgin English poem about a neighbourhood gbeborun. I don’t think it is so on point. I wrote it and it is my opinion, so people that will be voting to read this, don’t say I did not warn you
2. Akanni street- A poem about numerous churches in Nigeria, disturbing neighbourhood peace and not really impacting the nation
3. The same cane- A poem about a husband snatcher that got dealt with the same blow after chasing the woman out

So choose the one you want.

P.S: I featured J’Odie, the famous Nigerian soul musician in my AfricaNaturalistas, Natural Hair blog. She talked about why and how she decided to go natural and will write more posts later. You can read the post here

Peace out for now

Phone Crash + Short Story from my Book

Hello everyone, sorry I have not posted in two weeks and it was on purpose, I have started the write-ups for my upcoming book and I couldn’t afford to start putting them up yet. Right now, I am not happy at all because I did a short story and a poem on my Nokia E63, but the phone went off and has refused to come back on. Please, any help will be needed as some important but incomplete write-ups are on that phone. I tend to write in traffic on my way home, that is why I use my phone at times. But now, I have started rewriting. I don't know if it will be better or worse than the first. The upcoming book will have a series of comedy write-ups, poems and short stories. Anyway, her is an excerpt of what I wrote, it is one of the short stories. I wrote it in the first person singular/present continuous tense style. That is my preferred style for writing this particular story

Picture from Chantle White

Two weeks to your eleventh birthday, it is summer time. You are not allowed to play or travel because your results are not very good. Your brothers have gone to the boys scout summer camp. Mummy is in a conference in Brazil and the nanny stays with you before your private lesson teacher comes to teach you. You haven’t taken your bath and still in your nightwear. Daddy comes home from work by 11am. He says he is too tired to go to work, he tells the nanny to go home. You are happy, daddy has come home to play with you. He sits down and you jump on his lap, you pull his ears and nose and laugh at how big they are. He touches you small breasts, you think it is a mistake so you ignore. Then he starts groping you all over, you are in shock, this is daddy, your lovely daddy, not Uncle Peter or Cousin Kola. He removes your cloth and forces himself inside you. You are screaming as he is on you, he covers your mouth and slaps you. He gets up, he tells you never to mention a word to mummy because she will never believe you. You run into your room, you cry all day. Mummy is coming back from Brazil tomorrow. You don’t believe daddy so you decide that you will tell mummy, because you know she will do something about it. You don’t sleep all night, anxiety takes over your being.

Tomorrow comes! It is 1pm, and mummy arrives. She is happy to see you, she sees your eyes, she takes you to your room and asks what is wrong. She hardly gets the question out before the events of last night all comes spilling out of your lips. You are done talking, you see the emotions, the change in mummy’s face and before you know what is happening, a hard smack lands on your cheeks. Same cheeks daddy smacked last night, second time in a row. She says ‘How dare you? How dare you concoct such lies against my husband? I know! I know you have been trying to seduce my husband and take his affections from me. When your plan did not work, you now decided to tell lies against him. I am very sure my baby was switched at the hospital, because you can never be my daughter.’ She hits you harder all over your body and sends you to your room. Life between mummy and daddy remain the same as usual, they are all smiles but mummy now hates you and makes you do all the house chores and calls you small devil.

Cut

The end goes this way

You are 38, a bank manager, used and abused by all sorts of men in the past, domineering in the present. You haven’t seen your family in eighteen years, and you have no intentions of doing that. You are wealthy and lack nothing but you are searching… searching for love, the love you have never found, but everyone seems to have. You are looking in the wrong places, searching for love…

This is all I can share out of the story. The rest is inside the book, lol. Please, share your comments and criticisms. They are much needed

P.S: For those not following my natural hair blog, please, read the Most Popular Natural Hair Myth on it. I posted it some weeks back. I believe it will clear some misinformation about natural hair and how difficult it is to maintain. Thanks so much

African Naturalistas is here

Picture from The gloss

Good day ma peeps. As some of you know, I mentioned starting a natural hair blog to some bloggers some months back. The blog is to focus on core Africans as most natural hair blogs focus more on black Americans, and you and I know that what they call natural hair is different from what we call natural hair, as ours is harder to maintain

A lot of mental planning has gone into this blog, as people that know me well know that once I decide to do something, I put my all into it, as I am a very passionate person. I won’t like to start something I can’t keep up with or continue.

Anyway, my intention was to start the blog next year because I thought that is the time I will have time to dedicate to it, but for some reasons I can’t go into, I started now. I have written posts that can last me about four months so putting up posts won’t be an issue this year at all. At least, I have two posts up already

So for all African natural hair carriers, those that just cut off their relaxed hair and those thinking of transitioning to natural hair, those who have friends in these categories mentioned, I welcome you to African Naturalistas. Please visit the blog, follow and inform your other African friends who will find this blog helpful. It promises to very insightful and educative. See you all there. Thanks

P.S: I have read from some blog posts that there is currently a ‘Team natural’ vs. ‘Team relaxer’ war going on. I have never witnessed this, as natural hair isn’t really common in Nigeria. I personally think the war is not needed, as everyone has reasons why they carry their hair the way they do. I am in no way promoting this 'war' with this blog. I just want to help people with difficulties, since people always ask me how I 'do it'

P.S.S: I do not plan to abandon this blog for one moment, it gave me a platform for writing and I looovvveee it, so don't think for once that I am going anywhere.

I am going to maintain separate identities on both blogs, even the username will be different, but it’s still the same face, as I am not an anonymous blogger.

Please, help!

Good day people, please, I need your help. I have not been able to see the follower gadget on any blog, including mine, for almost a month. I also cannot view my followers using the link on my dashboard. I am not talking of and on o, I am saying this gadget is permanently not showing at all, the space for it on my blog is just blank.

I can't view my followers and I can't follow new blogs I discovered. I also noticed that the number of followers the link on my dashboard is currently showing me has been constant since the time I started experiencing this problem, which would is unusual under normal circumstances. I just want to know the following

1. Am I the only one experiencing this, or has anyone been experiencing the same?

2. If everything is fine with your blog, can you see the follower gadget on my blog?

3. If you have experienced this problem in the past, how did you solve it?

Thank you very much as you join hands in helping a blogsister out.

CARRY THE SONG... CARRY THE SOUND!

Hi people, how’s everything? As bloggers that know me a bit must have noticed, I don’t like to trend-blog and I don’t like to complain. I am not one person that will complain about marriage, the situation of things in Nigeria, etc. it doesn’t mean I am not faced with the realities of the many problems we have, but I believe no one has a right to complain if we don’t have suggestions for solutions. I know many bloggers have suggestions about solutions, like I have read on different blogs, but I still would not complain. I have chosen to face the other direction and see differently, that is my own personal choice and I think I have a right to make it.

Even if my government has chosen not to do the right thing…. Nigeria has a great future

Even if the Boko Haram issue is not being resolved fast… Nigeria has a great future

Even if it seems corruption has spread like a cancer through every nook and cranny of the nation… Nigeria has a great future

Even if the power issue doesn’t seem to have headway yet… Nigeria has a great future

Even if *insert however Nigeria is frustrating you*… Nigeria has a great future

Yeah, I said it. If you don’t like my optimism in the face of harsh realities, if you think I am just going on the ‘wishful thinking’ path, well that is the way you choose to see it. As for me, I choose to look the other direction.

The truth is that we are where we are because we have options. A politician has headache, they fly him out of the country. As for most politicians’ kids and rich people’s kids, they all school abroad. The main thing is that people are choosing the other options that will not let the country develop. Choosing these other options are not bad, but take all the options away and you will be amazed at how fast the country will develop. When we fail to develop our country for selfish reasons and greed, because we have looted all the country’s money and can afford to take care of our family of six, then there is fire on the mountain.

In the mean time, don’t say Nigeria is finished, don’t give up on us because we are just starting. As for me, I am not going anywhere because I have nowhere to go, so I have no choice but to root for the only country and only home I have, before some bad leaders pull the rug under my feet.

Till the time we have no option, when the time we have nowhere else to run, till we have nowhere else to go… the future is here

As for those who agree with me, I beg you to CARRY THE SONG… CARRY THE SOUND!

This post was inspired by TY Bello’s ‘The future’. I think all Nigerians have to listen to this, if they haven’t. Okay, I am on my knees, begging, please watch the video below. Thanks



TY Bello - The Future from Kemi Adetiba on Vimeo.

The Second First Impression.

I hope this post wouldn’t sound like ranting to you. How many of us have totally written people off because of the first impression they made on us? We don’t even bother to give them a second chance, we just conclude that nothing good can come out of them.

On my 18th birthday, I realised that I don’t make good first impressions. I was celebrating with my close friends. Noticed I said CLOSE friends. Most of us were in ministry together. There is this thing we normally do on each other’s birthdays. We talk briefly about the celebrant. This was the general review on my birthday, ‘when I first met @ilola, I thought she was like A…. Now I know her better, she is like B…’ Every single person said this, I mean every single soul, including the then boyfriend. It was then I thanked God for second chances. So this is how I wouldn’t have had friends, abi?

I was so surprised, these are the people that will always tell me I am funny, nominate me as most friendly and basically tell me how weird I am at times. I never knew that this people did not ‘gbadun’ me at first. In my much adult life, when I started working, some people just felt my personality was a mystery and they decided to ‘figure me out’. After about 3 months, they gave up and called me an enigma, which is where I got the name from. It also inspired an old post of mine, you can check it out through this link.

But seriously, don’t we all need to be given a chance to make a second first impression on a few people? Sometimes, some people catch us when we are in our elements, which might be good or bad and some people are just hard to please. But when everyone has the same story to tell, just like in my case about us, then water don pass gari be that.

If I have made a bad first impression on you, please, give me a chance to make a ‘Second First Impression’, I promise you will be pleased. After all, that is what God sent his son to do. He gave us a chance to make another impression on him. If you got that chance, I deserve that chance too and so do others.

So much Drama...

Hello, blog friends, I first of all want to apologise for my inconsistency in visiting and commenting on your blogs this past few days. So many things have been happening the past few weeks, but I still determined to visit blogs everyday,

July 10: OH and I held back in flood on sunday and did not get home till July 11. We had to go back to his parents house to sleep. I so hated it, just because I love my bed and was not prepared to sleep out. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

July 13: OH and I were robbed while climbing 3rd mainland bridge when coming from church in the evening. Please, note that the flood thing also happened after we left church for his parents house o. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

July 15: I won the community champion award at my company's AGM. (A ray in the dark). I kept blogging and visiting blogs

All the time: I kept working on two very engaging jobs, one was my official job while the other was the job I won the award above for. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

All the time: I kept organising a reunion, and kept making hundreds of calls like a customer care officer. I chased money and souvenirs. This particular task threatened to pull me apart for the past 5 weeks. The reunion is coming up this saturday, so it will soon be over. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

(Picture from HD Leader)

July 23: THE FINAL STRAW- My laptop crashed! Really? As in Really? After everything, you just had to crash, yes I am talking to you laptop. All the details of my two jobs, reunion, write-ups, poems etc, are on you and you had to dull me. At this point, I coudn't keep blogging and visiting blogs anymore.

So my people, even though I decided that I wouldn't be a blog-snob anymore and I decided to be blog-friendly, I just had to take a chill pill. What the flood, robbers, jobs or reunion couldn't get me to do, a simple crash made me cool down. The good news is that the laptop belongs to my company, so I took it back to them and even though the drive was fried, I recovered all my documents.

As for my last post, My Son's Wife, it has nothing to do with me. I have no problem with OH's mum, we are cool with each other, so Myne and Adura Ojo, don't fret.

My Daddy is Samson... not!

Remember the post where I related my talkative stories and how I embarrased my mum all the time? Check this link if you missed it. Well, one thing I deliberately left out is that I argued a lot because I wanted to do this sequel. Sorry for keeping you out of the loop, lol. I could argue with anything or anyone, so far I was convinced that I was right. I still argue now, but the difference then was that I always argued blindly, even with my parents.

What made it worse was that my dad was an expert at fabricating stories and always painting them to me as real. And you know, to a first daughter, her father could do no wrong. On a particular day, this is what went on in my house when I was about five years old. I really don't know how the conversation started but it was something about a lion dying.

@iola: No one has ever killed a lion, only Samson in the bible has killed a lion.

I naively thought Samson was the only man that had killed a lion, I did not put it rightly that Samson was the only man that had killed a lion with his bare hands, since the bible says David killed a lion when he was protecting his father’s sheep.

Dad: what her you talking about, how can you say only Samson has killed a lion?

@ilola: Well, that is what the bible says that only Samson is strong enough to ever kill a lion.

And so we kept arguing back and forth. Remember, I am five years old and my dad is 33 years old in this scenario.

Dad: See you this small girl, I have killed a lion before

@ilola: (wide eyed) It is a lie!

Dad: It is true, I am the second man that has killed a lion.

@ilola: It is a big lie!

Dad: See this small girl (he loved saying this a lot), instead of you to ask how I killed it, you are arguing

@ilola: Oya tell me.

Dad: One day, I was walking in the bush and a lion came out of nowhere and started walking towards me. It was roaring at me, so we faced each other and I brought out my spear and threw it straight into the open mouth of the lion and it died instantly.

@ilola: Wooooowwww!!!

I must tell you, by this time, I had ‘chopped’ my dad's ‘fabu’ hook, line and sinker.

Later that day, I was talking to my mum, she is 32 yrs old in this scenario

@ilola: Mummy, do you know that dad has killed a lion before?

Mum: (casting an annoying glance at me) Who told you that? You are not serious, how can your dad kill a lion?

@ilola: It is true, he killed a lion, he threw a spear straight into its mouth and it died.

Mum: it is a lie, he has not killed a lion before

@ilola: He has killed a lion, you just don’t’ know but I know

And so the argument ensued between my mum and I. I argued and argued and argued

Mum: Get out of here, you like to argue blindly!

Are you guys still reading? Well, it was not my fault, I truly believed my dad had killed a lion…

Below is a picture of my dad and I some months after he told be the lion story. He told me he was celebrating my 6th birthday because it was some weeks after my birthday. Little did I know that the get-together was for his Masters graduation. He later consoled me, saying that the celebration was for both of us. *smh

 
P.S: I am dedicating this post to my dad. Today is his 6th year remembrance. He was brutally murdered in cold blood on 16 July 2005, story for another day. However, I wouldn't want you to pity me because God has really been good to me and my family these past six years. So I would really appreciate it if your comments revolve round his murdering the lion and you thanking God for keeping me this far.

If I were a Boy

I know Lady NGO had done a post on this, but the truth is that I already had this in draft and considered publishing it after hers. I finally decided to go ahead since our posts are different

When I was younger, I used to wish I was a boy and at some point, I was a tom boy but later I wholly embraced being feminine.

Over some time in my years on earth, I have noticed some characters in me which has made me conclude that God did me a big favour by not creating me as a male. It would have been a disaster. In the days I used to wish I were a boy, I would say ‘If I were a boy, I would have been a very fine boy and girls will be tripping all over for me’. Now I know that if I were a boy...

I would have been a womanizer

This is because even as a woman, I love seeing beautiful and nicely shaped women. When I see a great figure, I look twice. Don’t think too far, I am not a lesbian and I am not physically attracted to women. I just like the way women are shaped. If not that I have a great figure myself, I would have driven myself to depression. When I entered the university, there was this very beautiful girl I saw, to me she was the most beautiful woman I ever met. Again, there was this N20 hand made mini cards they used to sell then, there was one which said ‘omo, you too fine’. Guess what? I bought this card and gave the girl. I then told all my friends that I bought the card. Some people were like ‘why did you buy it? She will think you are a lesbian.’ I was really surprised at the statement, because to me, I was just being sincere. I must have being really naïve I was only sixteen years old. If I could do this as a girl, imagine what I would have done as a man.

I would have been egocentric

Men are naturally egocentric, but I think mine would have been more than average. I like standing by my opinions and I can be overly assertive at times. I am strong-willed and once I have determined to do something, only God can change my mind. If I were a man, I probably would not listen to my wife. Thank God for making me a woman

I would not respect women

Even as a woman, I think a lot ladies are fickle, shallow and materialistic. Back in school, I used to have a lot of male friends. You wouldn’t blame me since I was in the department of Electrical and Electronics Engineering. Bottom line is that I did not like the way most ladies carried themselves and I did not think they had a lot to offer. Coupled with being egocentric, I would have been a disaster waiting to happen if I were a man.

I would have been incorrigible

This is where my mum and I have disagreements. As I said earlier, as long as I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, it is always very difficult for me to be corrected. The truth is that when someone cannot be corrected, the person is already going on a fast lane to his grave

I wouldn’t love God this much

If I were a man, I would be more ambition driven than I am. With the kind of brain God gave me, I am sure I would have been very successful as a man and a serious ‘high flyer’. This will have made me rely more on my own abilities than on God, which is the case of a lot of men today. And if I don’t see the need for God, why should I love Him?

In conclusion, I thank God for creating me as a woman. I thank Him all over again. The truth is that even as a woman, I had a lot of bad traits, just like everyone but overtime I have been broken and remoulded by God. I am still a work in progress but the amount on work God has done on me now might not have been this effective if I were a boy!

P.S: I would have blogged about how I left my house by 6am on sunday morning and got back home by 2pm on Monday due to the Lagos flood but I don't like 'trend-blogging'. I might just gist you guys some other time. Who knows?

No be me...

Lately, I have come to realize the importance of education and God's grace in this life. I know a lot of people with whom I grew up in the same area and now the difference between them and I is as clear as crystal, just because they only managed to finish secondary school either due to laziness or lack of funds. Many of them opted to learn a trade while some just stayed at home. I am so thankful to God that my parents gave me an opportunity to go to school. When our parents used to tell us to work hard when we were young, we thought they were being too harsh but now we know better.

Some other people furthered their education but went to colleges of education and polytechnics. It is a sad reality that Nigerian employers still discriminate against graduates from the aforementioned institutions. Some also finished from universities, but managed to finish with pass. So secondly, I thank my parents for making sure I went to university and I thank God for giving me the grace to finish with good results.

Some people went to universities and finished with average results but could not get a good job on time or at all, maybe because they could not pass job aptitude tests or could not defend their results or for whatever reasons that I cannot explain. The standard of education has really fallen in Nigeria. Only the federal universities are seriously trying to maintain good standard of education, but the peanuts the government is paying lecturers is not making it easy for them at all. Anyway, for this, I thank God for giving me a good paying job immediately after graduation.

I have been thinking of writing this post for a while, but what made me actually take the step is that I went to the office canteen sometime back and I looked up, only to see a former neighbour of mine. He was a classmate of my senior brother in primary school and we always came back home from school together. He later went to a boarding secondary school, I think he went to one of those eastern universities or polytechnics, I am not sure. Niways, we greeted each other well and I asked if he was working in the canteen, to which he replied in the affirmative. You see, he was working for the caterer and was about to pack the plates that my colleagues used to eat when I saw him. Here I was, a 'professional' in my own field being served and cleared after by my old school mate. Now, it is clear that it is just because of God’s grace that I am where I am right now but sometimes I fail to thank God.

I just thank God for his grace and mercy and for elevating me, because it is not by my power but by the Spirit of the Lord.

Sunshine Award

Yayyy, I was given the Sunshine Award by four lovely bloggers. Rhapsody, Naijamum, Ibhade and P.E.T Projects. They claim that my blog has brought sunshine to their lives. I really appreciate this from you guys. Thanks so much.

I am now supposed to tag ten other bloggers in this and inform them, I won't be tagging the four bloggers that tagged me for obvious reasons. Before I do this, I just want to let you all know that you have your blog posts have brought sunshine to my life. I have learnt so much from you all and I am now addicted to all your posts. I am officially in love... with blogsville. I really don't know why but I can hardly go a day without blogsville.

So here we go,

Kitkat- Addicted blogger that has gone on a little break. Lovely posts that remind me of my teenage days

Sisi Yemmie- OMG! Comedian Number 1. Blogsville won't be the same without you.

H: Best personal blog!

Maid of Heart: You inspire me so much, and you are a lovely writer

Le Dynamique Professor: My best motivational blog. One has no reason to fail after entering a mind like yours

Prism of an Immigrant: A bundle of raw talents, you are. Keep it coming

9jaFOODie: No wife has an excuse to fail in the kitchen if she follows you.

Naijalines: You have something I want, HER SON!

Unveiling Gold: I am still learning from your experiences.

Beautiful: You know I know you and I know your school. You better come back, else I'll fish you out.


Thank you all for bringing sunshine to my life

I am out

100th Post: Answers to your questions

Hello friends, so I finally get to this 100th post. For all of you that yapped me on my last blog, stylishly calling me 'FFO' (For Food Only), and for some others that wondered how come I was not fat, since I eat so much... Well, let me just tell you that the TGIFridays experience was a one-off o. I normally eat once a day and at most, twice. I don't really eat and I so love my figure. So, please don't worry for me.

As for your questions, I noticed that some people decided to ask me questions that have children and grandchildren like 1, 2a, 2b, 2bi, 2bii, which reminded me of my Engineering days. All on top this 100th post? I will still try my best sha. Moving to your answers.

1. Naijamum: As in really, did you just ask that question? Me wey go soon marry, but not this year sha o. Niways, check out this link to make you understand better. My Evidence

2. Unveilinggold: I am a consultant for now. As for impacting Nigeria, I intend to use my writing and publishing skills, which I am still honing to change its face later. You will hear more about it soon

3. Prism: Yes, I do. I have 1 brother and 2 sisters

4. Blessing: My greatest goal is to leave a mark here such that long after I am gone, generations yet unborn will hear about me, some what like Chief Obafemi Awolowo. It is possible and it will happen.

5. Omoregee: Five years from now, my compnay will be floated and will be four years old. I will also be a known editor all over Lagos.

6. Ibhade: If I may ask, what makes you think I am Born Again? Cos I have never ever said so. I am just kidding, I guess the fruit speaks. I first 'found Christ' when I was 9, but I must have been unserious because all I wanted was to write my name at the back of that small 'Gideons' Bible'. I think the time I was so serious was when I was fourteen years old.

7. MsJB: Secret beauty tips? Naaa. I am not a specialist in that. The only think I can say is Charisma, Carriage and Character. Work those three things and the aura around you will be 'on point'.

8. Rhapsody: See JAMB question o. I guess you just want to make me reflect on my state of being right now.
1. Yes, I do.
2b. I listen to the Word of God. That is what nourishes me.
2c. I just ask God for forgiveness and I make try not to repeat such decisions.
2d. Yes, I forgive myself. There is no use beating myself up when God has already forgiven me.
2e. My uniqueness is in my personalty. I am truly an Enigma and I have decided to acceot myself that way, instead of trying to be like everyone.
2f. I keep myself motivated by habging around deep-thinking people. I watch the compnay I keep and the things I listen to. I make sure I don't hang around discouragers and dream-killers. This always motivates me in every area of my life

9. H: Yes, I am pleased with my current state cos God has truly blessed me, but I am not satisfied with it because I have not even scratched the surface yet.

10. Gospel Girl: Good Marriage, Sustained wealth and Peace of Mind

11. LDP: Yes, I have identified part of it. The other parts are still unfolding. Part of it is writing and counselling

12. Anonymous: What happens in the toilet everyday

And the winner is
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Rhapsody!!!

Though her questions stressed me, it made me reflect and do a little stock-taking of my life. Thank you all for caring enough to ask your questions, and I am so happy no shallow questions were not asked. It shows that I don't roll with shallow people, even on blogsville.

Just to let you know

Hi everyone, I really enjoy being part of blogsville family and you all have come to be a vital part of my life, believe it or not. So I feel it is the respectable thing to do when I make minor changes.

After some deliberation, I have decided to change the title of my blog from 'Light of the World' to what it is now. This is the decision I came to when I considered the practicality against other people's conception of my blog from the title, if you understand what I mean.

I am two posts away from my 100th post. I know I should cover my eyes in shame since I have been blogging for two years and I am just reaching 100 and have only 50 followers. I really don't know why this is, maybe you people can source for followers for me, cos I believe I am a blog friendly person, lol. Niways, back to the point of this paragraph, I don't really know how this works but I believe I am supposed to do something special for my 100th post. Experienced bloggers, please suggest what I can do to celebrate, cos I like having blog fun.

As I have been telling Naijamum, I have been having problem using my blog ID to comment on people whose comment boxes are embedded on the blog webpage, but I can still use my ID to comment on the two other types of comment boxes (the pop-up and the one that takes you to another page entirely). So what I do is that, I use the name option to comment and link it to my blog. It so annoying and tiring, but since you are all my blog family, it is something I must do. Please, if you have had any problem of this nature, help a sister out.

Finally, I will be going to Minna tomorrow and spending about ten days there. I went back to Kano two weeks ago, but I did not tell you guys because I only spent few days there and it was not adventurous, so there was nothing to tell. The problem with this Minna trip is that my Internet provider said they do not have coverage in Minna, they only have in Suleja which is another town in Niger State. Can you imagine, why won't you have connection in a state capital? Even my CDMA phone company is telling me the same thing, only Suleja. What that will mean is that I might not be able to connect to the Internet on my PC for almost two weeks. That is so sad, I will miss you guys but will do my blog rounds when I get back.

It does not mean you shouldn't drop the comments on the suggestions and help I need, I am so desperate for them this time. Please, drop them cos I get them instantly on my email on Blackberry. It is just that that I don't to read blogs on it, as I feel the words are too tiny.

Thanks so much, I love you all, and I aint exaggerating.

Who's Standards?

I have noticed a recent trend, people are getting so impatient with few people that call themselves Christians and their attitude does not show it in any way. Because of this, they have chosen to label all young Christians as hypocrites. Such that if one comes out to say one is a virgin, people not say anything to the person but in their minds, they will say ‘hypocrite’, ‘who cares?’, ‘after all you have done all sorts with your fiancée’, it does not matter whether they know the person or not, they just generalise. It is not impressive that nowadays, a young Christian trying to do right and live holy is not being encouraged but gets cold responses just because of a few bad eggs have given young Christians a bad name.

What about pastors? Many pastors are not true to themselves and have the ‘face of Janus’ as Ibhade will put it. Does that mean all pastors have suddenly become bad? Does that mean all pastors that dress well and drive good cars are now prosperity preachers that have discounted the message of salvation? It is so bad now that no matter the conversation being held, some people have a way of shifting the blame to pastors, even if it has nothing to do with them. When politics is being discussed, they will blame pastors, if it is marriage problems, they will blame pastors, what of poverty, they will blame pastors. I am not saying one should not blame pastor, but please be specific about the pastor you are blaming during discussions. For example, don’t just say ‘pastors are responsible for the bad government in Nigeria because they are keeping quiet and sending their children to good schools with the congregations offering’, let us be specific while accusing. Some people that used to go to church even decided to stop because some pastor disappointed them by falling. I ask, was your faith in the pastor or in God? If the situation was really bad, why don’t you pack your load to another church? Why discount all pastors and stop going to church because of one or two pastors. I can understand if you say you don’t think going to church is important, but most of them say going to church is no more important just because pastors are disappointing and fake. So logically, when pastors were sincere, going to church was important but now that pastors are ‘fake’, going to church is no more important. Is the church the bride of the pastor or the bride of Jesus?

Another thing I like to talk about is the people that talk by faith. If one wants to talk by faith and say ‘I am well’ when one is sick or ‘I am rich’ when one is broke, I don’t think it should be a problem. If one’s faith can carry it, then one should go ahead. The bible says ‘You shall have what you say’ and those people want to have good health and prosperity so they have chosen to speak it. I see no reason why people, especially some Christians should find it annoying. It is okay if one doesn’t believe in it, but one being ‘annoyed’ by it is too extreme. Proverbs 18:21 says death and life lie in the power of the tongue and those that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Do those people get results? Yes, they do. The truth is that those words energize their faith which makes them believe more and work towards what they desire. To them, it is very simple while to some people, it is some complex shizzle that I don’t even want to begin to explain. I, personally, don’t go on saying I am rich when I am broke, that is because I am not the kind of person that talks about my circumstances to anyone at all. What I do is that I try not to speak negative words when I find myself in unfavourable circumstances. I just try to stay calm and speak positive decrees into the spiritual realm when I am praying, although it might not be easy at times, especially when the situation is so overwhelming.

As I always say, humans are so fickle and we should never live by what pleases people or their standards, because that means we will keep changing to please them. I realized this a long time ago and I have always been a highly misunderstood person, so I am not exactly the kind of person to ‘send’ people’s opinions. I owe no one explanation about the way I live my Christian life because no one set a standard for me, God did.

It is a pity that we live in a world where the Normal become Abnormal and Abnormal has become Normal. So to live upright in this world, whose standard are we to live by? Is it the standard of the people that think all virgins are hypocrites or all pastors are bad? Or is it the standard of the religious fanatics that think my skinny jeans or drooping ear rings is the highway to hell? The truth is that if we depend on people’s opinions, confusion is bound to set in. my advice: search the scriptures and read the word in order to clear the confusion. So I ask again, who’s Standards? God’s standard.

I will appreciate as many comments as I can get on this post and please you do not have to agree with me in anything. After all it is not my standard. Thanks

The Bag Thing

Hi everyone, Sisi Yemmie tagged me in the bag blog thing. I  could have done it since but I have been so busy, but now, I can spare some minutes for it and my blog rounds.

Because of my profession, I have to go out with two bags most times, my laptop back pack and my normal hand bag, so I divide my things among both of them. Some things like notepad, lock lid, etc. won't appear here in my bag.

Yeah, this is a picture of the current bag I am carrying. It attracts attention because people say it has the design of a dress, though it is made of normal bag material. It is not the expensive deigner bag, it is made by arcad, which is a popular bag maker in dubai. My mum bought it for me. I only carry big bags, because I have load. If you give me a small bag, you can be sure I will hardly use it.

My Bag Contents
a. A novel: I like having a book to read in my bag at all time, this time I have a true life memoir called Forever Today. I bought it in a pound shop. It is a story about a woman whose husband lost his memory a year after their wedding. It is an extreme case of amnesia. He never recovered.

b. Coloured lip gloss: Though I never use it, because it doesn't last.

c. Flash Drive: I also don't really use it anymore because it is not encrypted for official purposes, so my laptop cannot recognise ir

d. Hand cream

e. Comb: I am a natural hair carrier, so I have to carry this with me when afro purposes

f. Mirror: It is broken, that is why I turned its face down

g. Nail Polish: Just in case I am bored and less busy at work, though I have not faced this situation in a very long time

h. Token: How come no one pointed out to me that I left this one out earlier? Maybe all y'all do not pay attention to details, lol. Anyway, this is my token for internet banking. Obviously, I use it for making bank transactions without stepping into the banking hall

i. Office ID card

j. Client ID card: Some clients can be so adamant, they want you to carry their IDs

k. Sermon CD: I always carry one or two sermon along with me, since I only have the opportunity to listen to such CDs at work while working on my system. I have like three others in the other bag I referred to earlier

l. My Room Key

m. Key to my office at client site: Again some clients can be...

n. Pen and Pencil

o. Sweets: I don't buy biscuits and sweets, but somehow, I always have them in my bag, since people always give me

p. Tissue Paper: I sometimes have one or two loose tissue in my bag, I don't really buy them in packs, not sure why

q. Charger: Let's be realistic, some of us need to carry these phone chargers around with us all the time, since we know the situation of power in Nigeria. And also Blackberry battery isn't that long lasting

r. 'Umblerraaaaaa': Umbrella, very compact one that I carry all around, just in case rain decides to flex its muscles

s. Phones: MTN Blackberry, Zain E63, Visafone Nokia. Every financially prudent Nigerian should have at least one CDMA phone, I think.

t. Wallet: It contains my Naira Master Card, HMO Card, loose cash, OH's picture

u. iPod Nano: I am addicted to this. It contains mostly christian rock.

Wow, this was not so hard at all. The work was in the pictures. Almost all my blog friends have been tagged, so if you have not been tagged, please, tag yourself

Bad Daughter

Recently, I got a text message on my phone. Thinking it was an alert from my bank because it was pay day, I realized that it was from this strange number. The person had been calling me for days but Airtel network is not so good in Kano, so I couldn’t hear for 4 days. I do not like returning calls to unknown numbers because I believe that if it is really urgent, you will send a message. Anyway, the message read

‘Goodafternoon, I’ve been calling u since last week but the service is always bad. What type of a daughter are you that you can’t ask after us at home for over one week. I wonder what you will do when you are married?'

I have not edited anything in this message, hence the typos. When I read this, I wondered who this could be. But since I have only one mother (just like everyone), she was my first suspect. If it was her, then I was dumbfounded and she must have sent the message out of frustration. I started to justify myself in my mind, ‘why has she been calling with a strange number’, ‘I don’t return unknown calls’, ‘it is not over a week she’s been calling, it is just 4 days’, ‘I still talked to her 6 days ago’. Anyway, I called the number immediately and I found out that she was truly the sender. I explained everything to her and apologized giving the ‘I have been busy’ excuse.

I am not good at calling people, family members especially. My mum also knows this because when I was leaving home, she said to me, ‘if you like, get there and don’t call us regularly o, because you are used to not calling people. Since she was already expecting me to fail in this area, then why was she disappointed? I can count how many times I talked to my family members when I went for my 1 year service. I think I really have to change because when your mother starts sending you this kind of message, one should realize that ‘gari don pass water be that’. I am still asking myself this, am I really a bad daughter? Because I seriously feel like one.

P.S: I typed this when I was in Kano in January. When I went to England in April, it was worse o, I only called my mum three times. In which, I had received one round of blasting during my first week there. By the time I got back home, I receives lots of verbal Bazookas, she almost refused the things I bought her. Is regular calling really important? I am sure my mum is afraid that once I get married, I might get 'lost', but she is secretly thanking God that OH is a 'family person' and he has 'oyaya'.