The Second First Impression.

I hope this post wouldn’t sound like ranting to you. How many of us have totally written people off because of the first impression they made on us? We don’t even bother to give them a second chance, we just conclude that nothing good can come out of them.

On my 18th birthday, I realised that I don’t make good first impressions. I was celebrating with my close friends. Noticed I said CLOSE friends. Most of us were in ministry together. There is this thing we normally do on each other’s birthdays. We talk briefly about the celebrant. This was the general review on my birthday, ‘when I first met @ilola, I thought she was like A…. Now I know her better, she is like B…’ Every single person said this, I mean every single soul, including the then boyfriend. It was then I thanked God for second chances. So this is how I wouldn’t have had friends, abi?

I was so surprised, these are the people that will always tell me I am funny, nominate me as most friendly and basically tell me how weird I am at times. I never knew that this people did not ‘gbadun’ me at first. In my much adult life, when I started working, some people just felt my personality was a mystery and they decided to ‘figure me out’. After about 3 months, they gave up and called me an enigma, which is where I got the name from. It also inspired an old post of mine, you can check it out through this link.

But seriously, don’t we all need to be given a chance to make a second first impression on a few people? Sometimes, some people catch us when we are in our elements, which might be good or bad and some people are just hard to please. But when everyone has the same story to tell, just like in my case about us, then water don pass gari be that.

If I have made a bad first impression on you, please, give me a chance to make a ‘Second First Impression’, I promise you will be pleased. After all, that is what God sent his son to do. He gave us a chance to make another impression on him. If you got that chance, I deserve that chance too and so do others.

30 comments

  1. Awww. I really like this. I also think I don't make really good first impressions. May be that's why most people think opposite of what I think of myself. :/

    It's hard to want to give others a second chance (for first impression). But, it should be given...so you can get to know the person better. First impression aren't always right. So one should not always judge others by that.

    Thanks for sharing.

    http://foreversweetlybroken.blogspot.com/

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  2. I love this! I have been such a victim of running along with firt impressions, but I have learned that a lot of times it never ends at the first impression. So I consciously make an effort to move past the first impression I got, it never easy especially when the first impression wasnt pleasant but its worth it at the end of the day.

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  3. Frankly, this isnt something I have iven too much thought to. Perhaps it is because I am a silent observer and rarely make conclusive profiles about people on meeting them for the first time (unless I met them just once). I shudder to imagine what people thought about me as first impression....



    HoneyDame
    honeydame1.blogspot.com

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  4. Thanks for sharing this,I hold onto first impression a lot,maybe it because people also hold onto their first impressions about me but that twist in God had his son has the answer,lemme see what I can do *huggs*

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  5. It is good to always give someone the benefit of a doubt cos like you rightly said meeting them the first time they might not have been their best. God gave us a second chance to make a better impression and he keeps giving us chances. Well written @ilola.

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  6. I totally don't always make a good first impression. People tend to mistake my shyness/reserve for snobbishness

    ... so yah.. that's how I learned to TRY to give some time before making my mind up about people's personalities... like i stated "I TRY" lol

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  7. I also don't make the best first impression but I think I've improved with time.

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  8. How many second first impression do you need in three month; when the guy gave up? haha

    Sincerely, even God is a God of second change.. so, we humans should. I think I do give second chances just not on a regular basis. Some people I just conclude on them and it stays - I should try and be more lenient perhaps...

    - LDP

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  9. This is such a good post ... To be honest I have my good days and my not so good days (yeah you know when everyone seems to be conspiring against poor me...lol), God forbid if you met me on one of the not so good days...all I can say is thank God for second chances. x

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  10. I work with recruiters and I have to be honest and say - I find it really hard to shake off bad first impressions I might have of someone.

    I always feel that if you are meeting someone for the first time, you should make an effort.

    As an adult, I feel that as soon as one leaves his/her home and goes into a social/work environment, one must make an effort to be polite, personable and non-confrontational.

    My tuppence

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  11. fantastic post

    and so very, very important.

    these past few days i have been trying to unlearn a lot of my old habits, one of them is a habit of judging people or forming strong impressions about them too quickly.

    it hasnt been easy, sometimes we do it unconsiously, but so far it has been so worth it because i have been gaining some amazing new perspective.


    thanks for writing this : )

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  12. Yeah right,I dunno what my first impression always is especially with Okada, conductors and service providers...in fact I don't do good when I'm so irritated so if I can flip I should also excuse others when they act funny bla blah.

    I've also realised with some of the relationships I have today that our first impressions didn't make us dig each other till we got talking and found out many other strong parts/characters that complemented us(not just picking on the weaknesses alone).

    Btw,my first impression of ‎​you :D...was your first comment on my blog where I concluded that "this babe is just blunt..." But I decided to follow yours and make comments just to clear that thought and to help my heart and I guess it has helped a great cos I'm not supposed to pass judgment on ‎​‎​‎​you or write ‎​you off on just one note-afterall we've never met.

    Be who God made Atilola to be, "can't please dem people always" BUT keep shinning so men will SEE your good works and glorify God in Heaven) :)

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  13. Second first impression, that sounds so right on every level, me too oh, the thing I always hear is, I act snobbish and blah blah blah, but I can swear I`m not snobbish so I don`t know where they all get that from but anyways like you said we all should be given and also give others the "second first impression", it`s definitely worth it. Thanks for this post.

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  14. I feel you here. Much as we put a lot of faith and judgement into first impressions, there are hardly ever correct cause so many factors are usually in play. Thank God for second chances :D

    Adiya
    Muse Origins (Creative Nigerian Features)
    Muse Origins

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  15. so true sis, i had made such mistake and found out am wrong, likewise people had made such about me and found out i am B!.....YES! every deserves a 2nd chance, becox nobody is perfect and we all have our moods, BUT when it becomes a continual occurrence, then one has to accept the person like that or stay away....but FIRST IMPRESSION IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!

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  16. @ Sweetly Borken: True that! First impressions are not always right

    @ Giagerry: Thanks, at least you try

    @ HoneyDame: Why havent you posted since naa? Its cool to know that you don't make your judgements based on first impressions

    @ Gretel: Now you know, since first impressions are not always right

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  17. @ Abi Tobi: Lol at "I TRY". Please, try ooo

    @ Myne: Really? I think you've improved because you are a very blog-friendly person

    @ Okeoghene: Thanks. Yes, we all deserve second chances

    @ LDP: I think you got me wrong o, those were just my colleagues trying to describe my personalty.

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  18. @ Gospel Girl: Yes o, thank God for second chances

    @ Naijamum: Recruitment is a different case o. One must work out a very excellent first impression in such situations. Only that it may be a lie oo

    @ Mimi B: Very true, sometimes it is unconscious

    @ enybees: Awwwww, Sowweeee! Its true that sometimes, I can be blunt in my comments. I especially hate people sucking up through their comments on blog, especially when it is clear that you don't agree with them. One thing I thank God for is that I don't have bad mouth and I don't abuse people. It would have been bad. Was it the Nigeria complaint post that you are referring to here?

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  19. @ Coy Introvert: Lol, so you are not snobbish ehn? I understand sha, since you are an introvert

    @ Muse Origins: True o, 99% of the time, they are plain wrong!

    @ Ibhade: Continual occurence is not First Impression again o, that one is habit.

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  20. No o not the naija post, it was your very first post to move my Shelfari books/shelf and I felt like.....‎​ℓ☺ℓ but I no Vex at all,no mind ‎​​me. Your post made ‎​​me talk.
    You know what? I gbadun your consistency so much....keep it coming :)

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  21. Second first impressions...love the sound of that. I try to give people a chance for me to like them or at least understand them..

    On a personal level, i tend to make my best impressions at the least auspicious of times and vice versa...

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  22. Hahaha @ilola, you're just you. I had the same situation with Enybees hub. Mine was the one where you asked for questions to be directed to you. And I asked if you had any beauty tips, and you were like "Beauty tips? Please!"
    I was like "mehn girl is blunt". I followed your blog sha and I didn't think you'd care to check mine back but you did and followed back too :)
    I also think it's good to try to make an effort to let people be all they can be before you totally narrow them to a description. It's just the functioning of the human mind to try to pick everything at the first instance but I think we can stretch it and it's totally worth it.
    BTW, I think you're a nice person tho, I figured that with time (after I read more of your posts) :)

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  23. Hmmmmn, we seem to av a lot in common.

    Not too good with striking a 'wow' first impression myself......

    True, we should make excuses for people sometimes n give them an opportunity to do better......

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  24. @ enybees: Oohh, I remember, I had an issue with it, I think it was overlappin the follower gadget and not allowing me to follow, or something like that. sall good sha

    @ Ginger: Lol, mi o gbo oyinbo o

    @ MsJB: R u seriuuusss (covers eye in shame). Soweeeeee, but I followed you the same day you started following me o, maybe you did not notice on time.
    At least I made a good 'second first impression on you'

    @ Omoregee: I take consolation in the fact that 'no be me alone o'. lol

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  25. blessings ....
    sometimes it may be you sometimes it may not. If the person is really interested they will move pass the first impression to get to know you. there are times though when that first impression has a lot to do with your instinct and that you must listen to.

    hmmmmm....try not to turn yourself into a pretzel and be over accomodating. People can be very judgmental and a lot of what they have to say has little to do with the real you and everything to do with how they think and preceive the world.

    stay blessed.
    rhapsody

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  26. The funny thing is that this also describes me, so you are not alone :)

    So, I guess I also need to appeal to people to give me a second chance. The truth is that we all need 2nd chances because like you rightly pointed out, people do not always meet us at our best. But sometimes, that one chance is all you get.

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  27. @ angelsbeauty: Amen

    @ Rhapsody B: Very inspiring encouragement, thanks

    @ Relentless Builder: If you think you deserve a second chance, then others deserve it. So its not only me sha

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  28. I had a lot of that at a send forth organised for me a few months ago. When I met you I thought you acted like a diva, when I met you I wasn't so sure about you etc etc. It's scary cos I like to think people always like me. So when I come across those who had bad first impressions about me, I'm happy for second chances. Cheers to second chances!!

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  29. hmn, i always think peple like me o. leme send a bbm to all my friends sharp sharp and c wat my first impression on them was like. i know I'm an extrovert but i can be sooooo quiet sometimes, its confusing.
    a colleague of mine that i've been working with for about 3 years told me once that i am an introvert and i couldn't stop laffing! me?! i still don't get it o so mayb ders something going on that i dont know

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