Knowing when to Speak up and when to Zip it up!

What do you do when...

You meet your friend who is currently in a relationship or courtship, and you know without an iota of doubt that should this courtship lead to marriage, there’s bound to be misery, which might or might not lead to divorce? I mean, all the red flags are waving dangerously in your face, and giving you cold shivers, but you don’t really want to say anything because you don’t feel it’s your place.

If this person was a chummy buddy of yours, whom you could share everything except toothbrush and underpants with, it would have been easier for you to speak up, like hot knife on butter. But even though this person is your very good friend, you are not close.

So you feel you are in a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t situation.

I met a lady out of the country about 3 years ago. We started talking because we needed to work together in the hair care industry. I met her in 2014 for the first time. Between 2014 and 2015 when I met her for the second time, we had grown a bit closer, and I knew she had started a relationship. Anyway, during my next visit to her, I noticed few red flags.

Oh ma gosh... surprise surprise!

Hello everyone, how are we gearing up for the festive season, and rounding up 2017. I'm yet to put up a post about the traditional wedding, which was a great success, thank God. But for now, I don't have enough pictures to make a post out of it, so I want to wait a bit.

Yesterday, I planned to go out with BH, so we could clear out things on our to-do list. I was driving behind him, wondering where he was leading me to. We got to a restaurant, he led me to a private sitting. We opened the door, and right there, my date with BH came to an end before it even had the opportunity to statr.

Surprise surprise, it was my bridal shower.

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

I always think there's no way someone like me would have a bridal shower because my friends and not cohesive. So for them to find each other in different circles, and pull one for me... It seems so unbelievable. I'm still very shocked.

The theme of the event was afro, lol... to which some didn't adhere to.

Natural hair afro cake

This cake was made by Cakes (Berry's husband) factory, to think I was with Cakes the previous night, and he had this up his sleeves...

Merit list into the school of death

I lost a friend two months ago. Well, a former friend and colleague… we used to be close, but not at the time of his death. We lived close to each other, and he took me to work and back home everyday before I got my own car. Eventually, I resigned, and one way or the other, we were no more close the way we used to be.

When I got the news of his death, the first thing I asked was what everyone always asked. “How did he die?”

My friend slumped while jogging.

Well, life sucks, and some things are not unusual

It is not unusual for young people to die
It is not unusual for a friend to die
It is not even ususual for people to slump while jogging.

What hit me the most was “Why kelechi?”

I mean he was one of the most jovial, fun-loving, life-living people I ever met. The only time you see him with a straight face was when he was very sucked into his laptop, working. He was tall, light, always bouncing, smiling, and laughing. When it came to radiance, this guy could compete with sunshine itself.

So I thought to myself, it is not fair.

Why didn’t death take someone else, someone that didn’t love or appreciate life, couldn’t live life to the maximum, maybe someone who is always gloomy… who couldn’t appreciate that health he had, perhaps someone that even wanted to commit suicide?

This should be the merit list death should use if it want to admit people into its school

All I am saying is that if death is roaming around, trying to rip people’s lives off, there are some people it has no business touching, and Kelechi Umelo is one of them.

Life sucks many times
But death sucks so much more.

The Second First Impression.

I hope this post wouldn’t sound like ranting to you. How many of us have totally written people off because of the first impression they made on us? We don’t even bother to give them a second chance, we just conclude that nothing good can come out of them.

On my 18th birthday, I realised that I don’t make good first impressions. I was celebrating with my close friends. Noticed I said CLOSE friends. Most of us were in ministry together. There is this thing we normally do on each other’s birthdays. We talk briefly about the celebrant. This was the general review on my birthday, ‘when I first met @ilola, I thought she was like A…. Now I know her better, she is like B…’ Every single person said this, I mean every single soul, including the then boyfriend. It was then I thanked God for second chances. So this is how I wouldn’t have had friends, abi?

I was so surprised, these are the people that will always tell me I am funny, nominate me as most friendly and basically tell me how weird I am at times. I never knew that this people did not ‘gbadun’ me at first. In my much adult life, when I started working, some people just felt my personality was a mystery and they decided to ‘figure me out’. After about 3 months, they gave up and called me an enigma, which is where I got the name from. It also inspired an old post of mine, you can check it out through this link.

But seriously, don’t we all need to be given a chance to make a second first impression on a few people? Sometimes, some people catch us when we are in our elements, which might be good or bad and some people are just hard to please. But when everyone has the same story to tell, just like in my case about us, then water don pass gari be that.

If I have made a bad first impression on you, please, give me a chance to make a ‘Second First Impression’, I promise you will be pleased. After all, that is what God sent his son to do. He gave us a chance to make another impression on him. If you got that chance, I deserve that chance too and so do others.

My Best Friend’s Wedding(site)

Hey people, long time. Sorry there has been no post for a while, I’ve been doing some things that made me lose creativity and go blank. Plus where I am now is killing my inspiration. So therefore, this post might sound a bit watery to you. Beware!
A very close friend of mine is getting married soon but what is unusual is that this friend of mine is a very young guy and most guys don’t usually get married at his age.
Well, he sent me the link to his wedding site for me to check out sometime ago. On visiting, I saw something very interesting and shocking. On the how they met segment, he said his ‘wife to be’ was the first person to see his first employment letter (obviously to make the story sound very romantic). My eyebrows rose at this statement immediately because I was actually the first person that saw the so-called letter, I could even remember the salary structure and the excitement on his face.
Lesson: never believe anything you see on these wedding sites, everyone wants their story to sound very nice and they spice it up a bit.
The reason I actually saw the letter first was that he really liked me and was planning to ask me to be his girlfriend. He was trying to make up his mind between me and his fiancée (this, I found out from him about a year later). But he asked me a test question which revealed my lack of interest in a relationship with him and that’s how I got kicked out of his list of options. If it had happened otherwise, I’d have been getting married to my very young friend next week or I’d have broken his heart four years ago thereby losing our friendship. That is to say, I am satisfied with the way things went.
Well, trust me, after seeing the story, I got back to my friend ASAP and asked why he lied, he then said it was a mistake. This was my reply to him:

You have to do one of these

1. Go back to the site and tell the truth, say 'your fiancée is d second person that saw the letter, the first person was ‘@ilola’.

2. You can leave the statement but change the picture and the name to mine, just to preserve the truth. The implication of this is that you will have to marry me on that day.

3. You can leave it that way and let me come and disrupt your wedding day when it gets to the 'how they met' segment.

YOU CHOOSE!!

To say that my friend was scared after reading this would be an understatement. He has always had a knack for taking me serious when I am just joking. I had to calm him down and put his mind at rest. I hope when he sees my face on his wedding day, he won’t start urinating in his trousers!

For my Friends

I have written about different things but never about my friends. I consider the word ‘friend’ very sacred and I don’t use it lightly. Because of the kind of person I am, I have so many acquaintances and few friends and so therefore, those few are very good ones. With all these said, I am dedicating this post to the people who have remained with me through thick and thin.

Bose- The faithful one
Tejiri- The generous one
Dolapo- The understanding one
Kolapo- The listening one
Oba-t- The sacrificial one
Rita- The honest one

With these descriptions, whenever I make reference to any of them in future posts, you will have an idea of kind of people I am talking about. Thanks guys, for being who you are to me.