Hello and Goodbye!

Hello beautiful people. Sorry for disappearing for 7 weeks. I was ill, and when I got better, I could hardly get the motivation to write or blog. Thank you for asking about me, even though no one really asked about me, lol.

Anyway, I am back... to let you know that I am leaving this 2018... to come back in 2019. But if I decide to come back in 2018, don't scream, cos I am rebelling against culture, and I can choose to go back on my words anytime.

Next year, I will most likely be changing my voice/style on this blog to the more natural/gist style we were used to in the old days of blogging, cos right now, all the formality and blogging professionalism is just killing and boring. Please pray for me, that my 2019 will be better than 2018, and I won't lose my passion for blogging. Y'all also should be encouraging, and comment on posts jo, cos I know you read them.

Anyway, my laptop battery is almost dead. Happy new year in advance. See you in 2019

Chasing the next level, WIMBIZ conference, et al

Why do we like looking forward to the next phase of our lives, so much so that we don’t enjoy the current phase? Societal pressure hasn’t made this easier. As a single girl, people are looking forward to your marriage. As soon as the wedding is over, the womb watchers won’t get their eyes off your midsection until they spot a bulge. And once your first child started toddling around, they ask you why you are taking too much time, with stories of how gaps between siblings shouldn’t be too wide. It’s as if we are always chasing the next level, and hardly catching it before it slips away again. Personally, I am guilty of not enjoying the moment because I am always worrying about how to accomplish the next goal on my list. I wonder if I will ever get to the point when I will be at peace enough to rest, and say to myself “I have tried.”

I don’t know if it’s just me experiencing this, but doing business hasn’t been so palatable this year of 2018. There has been more misses than hits, and lord knows I worked my head off this year. I can’t really tell if it’s because I took some wrong steps, and didn’t calculate well, or if it’s just an economic thing affecting everyone. I will like to hear what you all think about this.

I left Instagram… again. I wasn’t as pissed with it as I was in the past, but I wasn’t just having it. I think I have found a way to maintain a social media presence without being there, just that it might cost me. Anyway, I’m still exploring my options. Let’s see.

I went for WIMBIZ conference last week. It was really fun, and eye-opening in some aspects. I don’t think I will be going again though, cos I think it’s too expensive for what I got from it. I used to wonder how they always get to fill the hall, despite the high cost. It was when I got there I found out that 80% of the attendees were sponsored by their companies i.e. big corporations in Nigeria. Very few people brought out their hard earned money to attend, like me.

Below is my look for the Wakanda-themed after party for WIMBIZ. I felt overdressed cos most people didn't follow the theme at all. They just wore Ankara blazers and trads. Such party-poopers, lol.

My new friend, Chibu, photobombing my selfie, lol.

I left Instagram, and here’s what happened

Yes, I did it! I left Instagram, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders at the time I did it. Long before then, I always had the urge to delete the app but I couldn’t gather the courage because I used it mainly for publicity. I felt I was going to lose a lot if I left. The sad part was that my long-term annoyance with the platform had been preventing me from putting myself out there , not my personal life but other areas of my life that I felt should be projected for people to see so I could further grow in those areas.

Anyway, some weeks ago, there was a lot of pressure on me because of things that weren’t going according to plan in my business. Instagram became a form of escapism, with me just wanting to spend 5 minutes, and I end up spending about 20 minutes. And instead of me to focus on solving my problems, I kept escaping from them. Whenever I went on Instagram, and later closed the app, I didn’t feel at peace. I felt like “what am I doing on this app, why am I wasting my life?” So I made the decision to delete the app, and come back when all the things I need to sort out were done.
With so much pain, I sorted some of the kinks out immediately, and had to start others from the scratch. There are still some things hanging, but I will be done soon. Once I am done with most of them, I will reinstall Instagram. To be honest, I am not going back there as a way of rewarding myself for hitting some set goals. I am going there because I need the app to publicise one of my upcoming projects, lol. I guess we can say “Instagram… you can’t live with it, you can’t live without it.”

Do I miss the app?

Honestly, No! if not because I think I need it, I won’t even be going back. Once I log in, I will just post what I need to, and leave. God help me. One of the reasons I was sad about leaving is Lasisi Elenu, SLK, and DANG. It felt like “how can I survive without them?” Ironically, I didn’t even have withdrawal symptoms after stopping the lasisi dosage. It’s like he doesn’t even exist to me.

Am I behind on current affairs?

Third part interference in Marriages... and other STRONG nmatters

Hi everyone. Hope we are all doing great, and enjoying our Easter Break? Did I abscond from the blog? No! Never! I can’t even try it, lol. Happy Easter to everyone reading this blog. I hope you are enjoying your long break. So with the recent developments around me, a lot of things have been on my mind, and I would like you guys to weigh in on some of them.

I remember vividly sometime in the year 2012, former president Goodluck Jonathan came to Lagos. I was on my way back home from work when I was stopped at the end of third mainland bridge. It was so painful because I was just about to pass when we were all stopped. No one gave us any reasons. I was just looking at the clear empty road ahead of me yet I couldn't go. We were made to wait for over 1 hour before we could pass. You know the funniest thing? The president did not even pass our road. He passed the other side of the bridge, the one facing the island. So why on earth were we who had nothing to do with his route stopped? I was so pissed with that government that I vowed to never vote for them even though I never did before. So you can imagine last week when the whole Lagos was in a chaos because of a presidential visit. I wondered why we operate an oppressive government. Were those complicated logistics really necessary? Were there truly no other ways the president could have come into town with other citizens getting frustrated? Selah

I'm currently wondering when it's time to start being strict and stern with a child.

If these people can do it, what is your excuse?

Hello everyone. How are we all doing? I’m very happy that the pregnancy series is over. I did not want my blog to become a woman blog, pregnancy blog or mummy blog. I have been trying to be very careful about this because it sometimes seems automatic for a blogger’s new reality to take over the content of their blog, especially when it is a lifestyle blog.

This week’s post is quite brief. I want to talk about the recent trend of people spamming blog comments section with talks of herbalists and hex men helping them get their husbands back or in extreme cases, killing someone like the screenshot below.

I've always thought that there's no way on earth that someone will fall for this, and patronize such people. But then again, if their marketing strategy wasn't working, and no one was patronizing them, they would have stopped this gimmick a long time ago. You might have come across them on your blog if you are also a blogger

Gone are the days when you had to enter one bush to go and look for one 'baba' to do one jazz or the other for you. You can find them right here online, no more traveling to a remote village. One would think that the advent of technology would make us wiser, and send these people into extinction, but no, they wax stronger daily and now have websites and Facebook pages.

I think the several native doctor comment on the blogosphere is by the same person though, just that the person keeps using different profiles and email addresses all the time. Some people have time sha.


Are you aware of anyone who has fallen for these kinds of people? How did it turn out in the end?

So the real question here is what is stopping you? If jazz men, whether real or fake, are innovating, and changing the the demand of the recent times, what is your excuse? Some of us think that our trade is not marketable online, or we have just plainly refused to adapt, but I say if the Babalawos can do it, then you shouldn't be dulling.

The real Lucky Ones

This is just a very short rant about how I currently feel



I am of the opinion that those born in the 1800s and early 1900s and lived a full good useful life, then died are the luckiest of all men

They were part of the great developmental era, that have led to the modern day inventions we see today and they are not alive to see the terrible decay the world has fallen into

Many times I envy them, and wish I could

A Menace no one is Immune from

Ok, so I had a long bout of illness recently, and lost a lot of energy. Along with my illness came self-pity because I couldn’t function as effectively and efficiently as I used to. My production level went down to almost, and I was depressed a lot of times. Nothing depresses me like not being able to achieve the goal I set for myself.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my motivation level went down to -50. I mean, I lost every drive and motivation within me, that I couldn’t even believe it. Even the things I should normally do, I didn’t do, cos I did not have the will to do.

Yesterday, my mum sent a picture of an SUV on third mainland bridge. I don’t know if you got it. People gathered round the car, just spectating. The owner of the SUV had just gotten down from the car, and jumped into the lagoon.

JUST LIKE THAT

I was shocked. That could easily have been me. I mean, don’t we all have problems? And here I was, wallowing in self-pity, losing the will to move on, just because I lacked enough energy to walk up the stairs, and somebody has problems large enough to warrant suicide, by his/her own justification.
When we are in the heat of our bad situations, it’s always hard to believe that it will pass, especially in that moment of fire, but

IT WILL PASS

Just remember, no matter how bad the situation is, it could always be worse, so thank God for what it is now, though that might be difficult.

My human temperament is Choleric and Melancholy, so it’s always easy for me to slip into self-pity and depression when things don’t go the way I plan, but thank God for His Spirit, who brings a different perspective, and keeps away suicidal thoughts.

Yesterday’s incident helped me remember that even though I am not happy with the way things are going, life will become better for me soon, and park my car on third mainland bridge, and jump off.

Have you ever had to deal with suicidal thoughts? How were you able to handle it?

Doing business is risky, and other random thoughts

Hello everyone, how are we all doing? It's been long I did a set of random posts, and I feel like doing one now. So let's go


I am extremely tired. From Monday till Saturday last week, I was on my feet from morning till night (from 11-12 hours everyday). This week doesn't seem like it will be any different. How does one achieve balance, cos right now, so many parts of my life are out of tune at the moment. By the grace of God, things will get better in a couple of weeks.

I really need a camera. Who loves me, and is willing to get me one? I need it for a banging blog (why rebrand when you are not ready to upload high quality pictures?), I need it for my business (product upload, development, etc), I need it to shoot videos (my spoken word career needs a new life), and so many more reasons. Do I need to tell you more? Oya please get me a camera. I promise to love you forever if you do.

Just honestly baring my heart out

I honestly don't know what to write, but I know it is Monday Morning, and I must put up a post. I might just bare my heart out a bit in this post, and give an honest rant.

Sometimes, I get really tired, with the workload coming at me, left, right, and centre.

Source

I serve on so many leadership positions, and it can be overwhelming wearing several hats. I thank God for having several teams of wonderful and selfless people though, if not, I'd have been dead by now.

The African Naturalistas staff I work with are just the bomb. They do all they do with a good heart, and expect nothing in return. The African Naturalistas cosmetic production staff are so effective and get the job done, but mehn, the workload is too much for us. The bad part is that I can't seem to hire more people till we move out of where we currently are. The space is just too much for the amount of work we are currently doing, and we are still expanding despite that. I can't wait to get out of that space, which should be later this year by God's grace. I will tell you the reason later.

The Rhyme and Reason team is going strong. To be honest, I don't think they need my energy anymore. They extracted it a long time ago, and multiplied it. Now, they are just on another level. We a starting a special academy soon, and that too will take it's chunk of time.

Speaking of Spoken Word, I am getting more work lately, and I am happy about it, but it is putting me in more tight corners. Everyone seems to be wanting special themes, which require that I write and rehearse new pieces in just a few days, which would have been nice if I wasn't previously encumbered with so much work. Still, I can't reject these jobs, because they are jobs many of my Spoken word colleagues would kill for, and to be honest, I don't charge small money. I'm not saying I charge millions of naira o, but compared to my colleagues, I know my fees are far more. So what I am saying is that I have to go for these events despite the fact that I am busy, cos they are the kinds of event I want, and they pay the bills!

I have paid my dues, by making sure I hone my skills, and strive for excellence, so now that I have been elevated, I have no need to complain. I should up my skills, busy or not busy.

I was not happy yesterday morning. I had taken time out to do a spoken word video shoot for a program, and it basically took two whole days of my week, only for it to be struck out of the program because of some reason that didn't make sense. This was a video whose script I wrote in three hours, under intense pressure, after writing it two previous times, and they kept changing the brief. I took two whole days to do this shoot, and African Naturalistas suffered for it. Yet, it was cancelled.

The bad part, I was not informed. I found out only when I went backstage to find out when it would have been aired. If not, I would have been sitting in the audience like an idiot.

The worst part, they got a guy to read my script out, who did a terrible job, reading it like a newscaster. This is exactly why I hate releasing my script. You can't just interpret the voice intonations and mid rhymes. And they even removed some sentences, and inserted theirs.

Till now, no one has called me to apologise. And all these, I did for FREE. But it's all good sha, God dey.

One thing was that I made sure I left the event with a heart free of offence, cos I need a clean and clear heart for Thursday, to perform something I have no idea of. I have not even started writing, and it is a very big event, and they are paying me, so lack of excellence is not an option... even if they were not paying me.

I honestly don't know how I would go through the week. So many products to make, so many orders to fulfill, and personal goals to achieve... plus I have a photoshoot this week, and my hair is currently a mess. I know that I would not go to the salon this week, cos I want to let my hair out for the shoot, something I hardly do in reality.

I have never done this kind of post, where I would just come and rant real time, on the blog. But you know what? I feel better doing this. Not everytime superhuman superwoman... sometimes, we just have to be real with ourselves and with the world.

Heat vs Cold. Which kills faster?

I spoke to someone who told me what she had been doing to cope with the heat. It is not news that the global warming is fast becoming a global warning, and it is not smiling with us in Lagos again. To make things worse, situations like this that would have been a non-issue by people sorting themselves out with their generators has now become a big deal because people don’t have fuel to power their generators. This season has become a leveller, and the number of people who can now form ‘status’ have drastically reduced.

Back to the story, she said she couldn’t sleep, no matter how much she tried. No amount of baths or manual ‘fanning’ could stop the heat. So she took her cover cloth, dipped it inside water, and squeezed it. In its damp state, she laid it on the bare ground, lay on it, and immediately, she was able to sleep.

I saw the sense in what she was trying to say. I was hot, so I created a soothing situation for my body, and it cooled me down. But alarm bells rang in my head. Was that even healthy for the body, especially the bones?

Is sleeping on something wet the way to go? Wouldn’t that lead to hypothermia or anything similar? I understand adjusting the temperature of the environment to regulate the weather and our bodies’ reaction to it. But sleeping directly on wet cloth?

Maybe some have tried it in the past, and it has worked. I am not a medical doctor, so I can’t give a definitive answer to this. But it doesn’t sound like something healthy for our body.

What do you think?

I think there's something wrong with me

Please, don't be fooled by the title of this post. It is not as serious as it sounds.

But seriously, I think there's something about me. This is a secret I have never shared with anyone before. So it means the matter has reached the level of code red.

So I want to take about 5 minutes to lay my bed at night, but I end up spending 26 minutes because I am using 21 minutes to dance in between.

Yes, I dance in my room, alone, lots of times. So I am wondering... Is this normal?

On Saturday, while scheduling some blog posts, I had to restrain myself, to finish writing the blog post, before jumping up and dancing. It was like my body was just pinching me to get up and dance.

Please, is it normal? Lol.

And it is not just normal move body dance o. It is serious stepping, jumping, twisting, mad moves, Lol. And I always always always dance in front of the mirror. And no, it's not work out (I already work out vigorously every morning). I'm also not trying to lose weight (I have no weight to lose)

I used to be a professional dancer, but never a partying person like that. So I was basically a stage dancer. But never make the mistake of inviting me to a party when 70% of the attendants are my friends, then we gonnn burn the dance floor. Anything less than 70%, I won't even attend.

Now, I don't really dance again. I'm just all by myself. But still, I dance all the time, during worship session, just walking to the bathroom, etc. And I do it alone, where I am seen by no one.

Anyway, is it normal? To just be dancing anyhow, just be getting up and be dancing, in the middle of serious work.

One more thing, my dance craze starts anytime from 7.00pm.

Another thing, please someone should help me interpret this one-liner poem of mine below. It's so simple, but no one has given me the answer.

Happy Valentine's Day. Please can someone interpret this one liner poem of mine for me? The message is very simple, but I would find comfort in knowing that what I'm trying to say was what people understood when they saw it. Really, it's not that deep. Please interpret in your own way. #wordsbyatilola #poetryofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poemsofinstagram #poetsofinstagram #valentines #valentinepoems #valentine #valentinesday #instapoet #instaquote #love

A photo posted by WordsByAtilola.com (@hattylolla_) on Feb 14, 2016 at 3:20am PST

If only they stayed this way forever

One of my students is mixed race

Nigerian mother, Indian Father

Her personality is like the sunshine

She lights up every environment she steps in

Always smiling

Extremely extremely extremely sanguine

She never stays down, even when you try to curb her

On Saturday, she was 45 minutes late for the class

Because her parents did not leave home on time

She was the last to come in to class

I did not interrupt the class for her, as I continued

When done with the other student, I turned to face her

She was tense and red

Her unhappiness was like a glass you could see through

My heart broke at her sadness that I took time to explain what she had missed

I continued teaching, and later stepped out of the class for bit

When I got back, she had become the sunshine again

She had done an imagery on my earrings, and nailed it

After the class, I asked

When you got to class, I noticed your face was red

Her brother responded

She was crying on our way

Why were you crying? Because you were late?

Yes. My brother made me late.

"You were crying because you were late?" I couldn't believe my ears.

Well, thank God you didn't really miss anything since you were able to catch up fast

"Yes, and I did an imagery on your earrings, and you didn't even know the object was on you."

At that point, I wished that 10 years from now, she would still remain the same.

I wish I could take her innocence and sunshine, and bottle it up

And then someday show her

This is the way you used to be

Don't let anyone tamper with it

Dangerous Sex

So one night, I unlocked my door, and walked into my room. NEPA was on their usual duty, so I shined the torch of my phone.

What did I see?

Two creations of God… having sex… in my room.

The worst part? They didn’t even flinch when I entered. My presence did not matter to them. They just carried on like no one had entered, and it was their territory.

I was so angry.

How dare they do this to me? How dare they have sex in my own room? Didn’t they know how I reacted to their colleagues trying to do the same thing by my window?

My room is a spinster’s room, and no sex… ABSOLUTELY NO SEX should go on there.

First thing I did was calm down, turned on my camera, took several pictures of them at far and close range, so I could use as evidence in case anyone ever accused me of wickedness in future.

And then in my pious rage, I took my insecticide, and sprayed them. I sprayed and sprayed in anger.

Evidence in the court of law

BLOODY COCKRAOCHES.

Then and only then did they flinch, and then they fell down from my wall.

Do you know the worst part? As they were dying, they did not disengage. They were still joined together, as they continued to have sex even in their final moments on earth.

These roaches were gangster. They would rather die together than allow anyone separate them. Well, if only humans would learn from them.

Anyway, when they get to their next life, they would warn their mates, and tell them to keep away from @ilola’s room because any sex that goes on there is a DANGEROUS SEX, and it would only lead to death

I am sorry. Please, forgive me

Guys, I am extremely sorry about the past two weeks. Posting about Mama peace and Mrs Brown back to back was a pure coincidence. I didn't even realise until it was too late.

You see, what happened was that I knew I wasn't going to be around, and had scheduled some blog posts for the upcoming weeks. I had writers' block, so I took some articles from my comedy book, For Laff's Sake, and scheduled them. So when I got new inspiration, I started moving articles around, and before I knew that those two articles ended up side by side, it was too late. So please, forgive me. I am sorry.

Source

I promise I am still normal, and don't have weird neighbours. Besides, if you haven't read For Laff's Sake, what are you waiting for? Order your own copy on Amazon now. There are way more funny stories in that book, but I can't post them here because they are too long. Besides, there would be no need for you to purchase again if I do that. Oya, click here to purchase.

So I haven't been around o. I was touring the world, lol.

I went on a trip that sent my account straight to red, but at least, I enjoyed myself. I did a whole lot of things on vacation. I think I was forced to have fun this time because I didn't have the comfort of staying with family in two of the states I went, so I was forced to actually go out without having to depend on anyone. If you know me, you know I actually don't like going out of the house.

Trust me when I say I went to a whole lot of places, but the major highlights were Hollywood and Beverly Hills in California, bowling with my cousin in Dave and Busters in Baltimore, then watching the Veterans Day parade in New York City, and the height of it all for me was watching Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. At this point, I was almost crying at the money I had to spend, but my love for Phantom of the Opera was just too much for me to resist.

So here's the thing, I am supposed to give you guys highlights, right? Since the trip was overpacked, the most sensible thing to do is to break it down into series, like my Seven days in Brazil series. But I don't know if I want to be blogging about vacation for one month, since I blog just once a week. The alternative would be to have it in one single looooong post.

Anyway, let me know what you guys think. I will do what the majority says.

But in the meantime, I neeeeeeeeeeddddddddd Moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Ruining my neighbours' sexual escapade

A male and female lizard were courting each other right at my window pane. Immediately I saw the back of the female arched in a semicircle and her tail raised, with the male lizard continuously going round her, I remembered what my biology teacher taught me, and knew they were about to mate.

Right at my window pane?

So this is what they do when I'm not around?

I instantly blamed my parent’s decision to use texcote to paint the walls, right there and then

I said to myself “no way, this is my territory. There will be no premarital sex going on here. Where is your wedding ring sef? Show me now because I cannot see any. Damn you lizards.”

"Something I am not doing, you people have the liver to do, right in my very presence. What audacity! You don't even know your mate."

I mean, it was like they were saying to me "I'm having sex, and you aren't. Deal with it." So I decided to rain on their parade.

Source

I immediately brought out a leg of my trainers and threw it at the window to startle them. The male lizard immediately ran away, but the female one didn't. She looked really startled and moved a bit, hanging on the wall but was still there.

Na wa o, this female lizard must really be in the mood. So I kept using my shoe to hit the window. Believe me, it still hung on, and was looking straight at me (or should I say, diagonal since its eye is at the side of its head). I couldn't see whether it's tail was still raise because it was hanging vertically and I was inside my room.

Can you see how in times of pressure, men just run away, and women stay no matter whose ox is gored. I even slid my net open and shut it forcefully about three times but this lizard did not shake from its hanging position

I wasn't sure whether it was hanging for its dear life or it was determined not to give up on the sexual escapade I was bent on ruining.

When after 20 minutes, it was still there, I concluded that they were having sex, but since I was inside, I could only see the head of the female lizard, and the male lizard was beneath, doing the deed.

I concluded that since these lizards did not fear God, and had decided to be unchristian in their ways by having unwedded sex in open space, how would they even fear me?

And you won’t believe it. I am not lying or exaggerating. I was rushing to church the next morning. I was about to close my windows when I saw these same two lizards. The male was courting the female by circling her, and the female had her back arched in a semicircle and her tail raised.

Ewoooo, they were at it again.

Source

Apparently, they don't give a hoot about my ‘no premarital sex in my territory’ law or even the anointing oil I sprinkled overnight to drive spirit husbands that might want to have sex with me away.

I just slid the glass window shut, stepped out of my room, and locked the door, pretending I didn’t notice them.

Damn my horny reptile neighbours! All these lizards of nowadays. Ko si respect mo.

Irresponsible Memes, Insults and Manipulations

Hi people. I realised it has been a long while since I put of a random post of different topics. I will just let you in on some things that have been going on in my mind

After the presidential elections, when the votes were being counted, even with the average percentage of turnout in the north, there were so many votes counted there. This is because the north is very large, and there’s a high population there, though low population density due to very large landmass. Anyway, someone thought it wise to create a picture meme stating that “with all the votes counted in the north, what exactly had boko haram been killing?” Unfortunately, many Nigerians thought it wise to broadcast this by putting it up on their DP, and laughing at it.

Source

I think this is highly disrespectful to Nigeria and the families of people who lost their lives to the insurgents in the north. It is sad that not enough is being done, and the families have not been compensated. People have lost lives, businesses, homes, and many people have been displaced. Yet some Nigerians are joking “What (not who) has boko haram been killing? As if people in the north are chickens.” What if any of us were the victims. The person who created that meme, and everyone who shared it on their status should cover their eyes in shame! Shame on you all!

Secondly, concerning the woman whose three sons were kidnapped by her new maid. Most people came out condemning her for hiring a maid in OLX. Someone even went on facebook, called her stupid, foolish, and unfit to be a mother. Let me not lie, that comment brought out unhappiness from me. We humans are quick to judge and condemn when unfortunate things happen to people (case of Job). Now, I am not here to debate the woman’s actions, or the rightness of hiring maids or au pairs on the internet. But why would we just come out and ignore people’s history (which we know nothing about), and then insult them because of their misfortune. If a woman loses her marriage, it’s her fault. If a man loses his job, it’s his fault. A child dies of illness, it’s the parents fault. People just find ways to blame the victims for their misfortune. Even though it seems risky, people have hired maids on OLX. Did we insult them? Just because this woman’s story went awry doesn’t give us the right to run our mouth and calling her names. Mind you, she is a mother of four boys (is it easy?). So many children have been kidnapped even with all the carefulness of parents, and so many children have been safe even with the carelessness of the parents. God’s grace comes to play a lot in these situations. Please, let’s dedicate our time to pray for this woman and her family, so they can go through this period with enough support till they get their kids back, and let’s pause on the insult. God forbid, if anything unfortunate happens to us, and people start blaming us in our misfortune.

Lastly, about underage voting. During the presidential election, there was a picture about a young guy doing accreditation that went viral. Some people also thought it wise to gather pictures of children queuing for immunization in the north, cropped the beginning and end of the picture out, and say it was underage voting. Also during the governorship election, there was a picture of a young girl in hijab doing her accreditation, going round too.

I am not partisan, and trust me, this is not a political opinion. But going by the pictures, I am not yet convinced that there were SERIES of underage voting. Maybe later, but not yet, and place emphasis on the word, series. Here is why. When I was 20 years old, I looked younger than two individuals in those 2 pictures who were accrediting. Basically, my face remained the same between 13 and 24. And since then, I would say I have only aged very slightly. If I take away my makeup and extensions (if I wear any), I look far younger than my age once I don’t open my mouth to speak. When I was about 15, a friend of my mother saw me and said “This is your daughter? This one won’t grow old o.” I teach teens in church. I regularly get comments like "we don't see any difference between you and your students. You look just like them." So what I am saying is you can’t say a guy is underage just because he looks young, if you have not seen his birth certificate. I am not saying there was no underage voting, I am only saying I have not yet seen pictorial evidences of series of the,. If we later see a lot of childlike-looking people coming out to vote in pictures (not the immunisation one), we will now raise complaint. But as for now, the only picture is of an individual (during governorship) and another (during presidential). I also think those people who doctored pictures of children on queue for immunisation did a very mischievous thing, and don’t have the interest of Nigeria at heart. Shame!

Anyway, that concludes my rant for now. Feel free to bash my head over or love me up in the comment session.

This is exactly why you don’t want me at your event

I was invited to a game day event by my friend, Jumoke, of Artrubic ( (Everyone really needs to check out artrubic.com mehn. It is all things artsy, a website where people go to upload their writeups, paintings, poems, videos, and many other artworks, and they are currently running a giveaway). I had been looking forward to the event, and decided not to miss it for anything, because I am generally a boring person who likes to keep to herself. I recently decided to change this aspect of my life, and socialise more, so far I don’t have to be buying aso ebi and go to weddings. I am not a fan of that at all.

So on Saturday, jumoke hits me up on BBM, and the conversation goes this way…

Jumoke: Hi dear

Me: Hey Wasup?

Jumoke: So I need to confirm if you are coming on Monday and what you would be bringing and who you might bring with you, etc.

Me: I’m not bringing anyone. I might bring bananas, biscuits, or groundnut.

Jumoke: Ok. Biscuits please.

Me: Hmm. You k now I’m into healthy eating, so biscuits were actually my last option (devil smiley). Can’t I bring garden egg and broccoli?

Jumoke: ABEG OK. BIKO! EJO! NOOOOOOOOO!

Me: (ROTFL smiley) Ok. Cauliflower nko? We need to eat healthy.

Lamide: Atilola this is Lamide (boxing smiley)

Apparent, Jumoke had given the phone to Lamide, her sister, to talk sense into my head.

Me: You pipu want to be eating marshmallows? And be getting fat? Lamide

Lamide: No try am o

Me: I thought you said you want to lose weight

Lamide: Ehn not in one day

Me: I’m helping you achieve your dreams na. You should be thanking me.

Lamide: Monday is a day cheat o

Me: (devil smiley, mischief smiley)

Lamide: No try am
Me: Ok then, let me bring agbo jedi to balance out the sugar. As you don’t want to accept my fruits and vegetables

Long silence

Jumoke: Back to Jumoke. Erm see I don’t mind biscuits. I’m not even picky, even crackers are fine. But hob nobs are better, and chocolate chip cookies. (grinning smiley)

Me: No! Digestive biscuit. It is whole meal, so it is healthy (ROTFL smiley). No chocolate o (Tongue out smiley)

Jumoke: Digestive ke? You don’t plan on eating rice ba? Or chicken?

Me: I am eating rice o. I am not on a diet.

See, my issue with these two ladies is that they always talk about how they want to lose weight. Lamide is very slim, while Jumoke is slightly bigger. They both aren’t what you will call fat, though Jumoke is bigger.

As for me as a person, I’m not the kind of person that would buy cake and ice-cream or any other of those things for myself or to an event. I eat them once in a blue moon if I come across them, but I wouldn’t buy them. So why would I buy them to an event when they are

• More expensive?
• Less healthy?

I find ways to incorporate fruits and veggies into all my meals. I don’t joke with my fibre at all. The fact that I hardly eat out makes it easy for me. In fact as we speak, I am fully stock with banana, orange, potato, plantain, avocado, garden egg, carrot, etc. And trust me, I am not a diet. If I try dieting at all, I will just disappear in 5 minutes.

Source

Left to me, I wanted to take banana, orange, or garden egg to that event, but I knew they would give me a BBM slap, so I met them half way to say, banana, groundnut, and biscuit. Abi, I no try, even though I don’t eat groundnuts because of acne? I also don’t take dairy products because they spike my sebum.

You might say that the event is not about me or what I want, but what others would enjoy, but remember that others will most likely be bringing all the sweet unhealthy stuff, so I am allowed to tilt the balance a bit, abi. Plus all these ladies always talk about how they want to lose weight.

So here is my grouse. I strongly believe 80% of the ladies at that event, including Lamide and Jumoke, always talk about how they want to lose weight, but when I offer them the way to achieve this dream of theirs, they turn around and throw my offer back in my face.

Abi did I do wrong?

Anyway, I will be taking biscuit to the event, and it will be whole meal digestive. I am doing it out of love, lol. They will thank me when they are 70 years old, and still competing with Usain Bolt.

So this still happens on roads

I was going to vigil last Friday night. I decided to follow someone because I had a busy weekend ahead, and I wasn’t sure I was going to get fuel, due to the current fuel scarcity. So I just wised up, and started saving my fuel. Funny enough, I later walked past the filling station, and there was no queue.

Anyway, so I left my house by 8.30 pm to walk all the way to my friend’s house, so we could go for the vigil together. I hate bus and bikes and I like to walk, so even though it was a very long walk, I decided to trek. I am a very fast walker and it took me 30 minutes to walk, so it would take a normal healthy person one hour to make the journey by trekking.

Anyway, after the first 10 minutes, some guy steps up to me. I had earphones on, listening to switchfoot, so I didn’t notice his presence. It was not until he got close to me that it occurred to me that this guy was trying to get my attention.

Seeing that it is a small world, and I am a nice girl, I removed my earphones to listen to what he was trying to say to me, in case he was trying to tell me that he recognised me from somewhere.

“Yes?” I started.

“Hi, I just want to talk to you and get to know you.” He said.

I put the earphones back on.

End of conversation.

Source

I kept walk, ignoring the guy. I told myself he would soon leave me and turn back, seeing that the journey was still very long for me. I kept saying to myself “so guys still approach girls on the road in this day and age of modern technology.” I thought all the first timer toasting had graduated to facebook, twitter, whatsapp, etc. I was really shocked. I mean, I can’t remember when last I have made a journey by trekking since I started working from home a couple of years ago. And the time I tried it now, this happens.

Anyway, the guy didn’t do what I thought he would do. He just kept following me. Sometime, I would think he isn’t there, and 5 seconds later, he is right by my side. I wondered what kind of wahala this is. It wasn’t like I was spectacularly dressed. I was wearing a normal loose-fitting top and baggy harem dropcrotch pants. I tied a black scarf, flat sandals, and slung an old messenger bad in a diagonal fashion. That is to say, I was looking very ordinary! Yet this guy kept following.

After a while, I became irritated. I removed my earphones, and asked him to stop following me. All he could say was.

“I just want to get to know you. I can see you are walking very fast. You must be in a hurry.”

I put the earphones back on.

End of conversation.

And so, this guy kept following me. He walked with me through major roads and minor roads. I increased my pace, crossed the roads, passed through expressways, passed through dark corners, yet he never relented.

One time, he brushed my shoulder with his. I screamed “what’s all these?”

“Sorry, sorry, I just want to know you.” He said.

I put the earphones back on.

End of conversation.

Finally and gratefully, I got the gate of my friend’s street, which was manned by security guards. I spoke to the guards and mentioned who I wanted to see. The guy finally left me and walked away.

 

Maybe he thought I was approaching my house, and reporting him to the security guards. Or maybe he thought he had made headway by finally knowing my street, so he could hang around from time to time to look for me, lol. As for me, I was happy to be finally rid of the unwelcome companion.

I know I look far younger than my age, but I thought all these things happened in those days when I was 14 to 18 years old. I can’t imagine that guys still waste their time and sweat following ladies on the road. That is joblessness of the highest order, and oh so outdated.

Random musings of an overwhelmed multitasker

There are many times when I can hardly wait for Monday to arrive cos I know one of my 20 scheduled interesting blog posts will appear, people will love it, enjoy it, and comment on it, and I will be a star writer of blogsville.

There are other times I pray for Mondays not to come becasue I basically have nothing to write. Life is overwhelming, I can't think, so many struggles associated with being an adult, trying to make ends meet, and maintaining a certain standard of living. The whole head just blocks, and creative juices stop flowing. And that is where I am at right now.

It is at times like this that I pull stuff from my archives, and just post. But still, it doesn't get the real job done. The work of connecting to you followers on the same level you do on a normal day. Followers can see through these things, you know? They can tell when we are not really investing in writing something specially for them, when we are just throwing content at them. It shows in the number of comments that follow.

At this point, I need God to come through for me. I have so much work to do. Too many people I am leading, too many committees I am handling, too many tasks to complete, that I can hardly find time to live life as it should be lived. I just wish people won't drop the ball, so I don't have to start policing anyone. If God doesn't help me between now and December, I am done for.

Source

I have never worked in my life, like I have done in this year if 2014, and trust me when I say I work hard on a normal day. I can't wait to just take a break from all these, and just take a vacation. I didn't even have one this summer, but Christmas shall not pass me by.

This is probably the 'randomest' post I have ever written. I just didn't want to leave this space blank, or pull another article from my archives.

I'm out. Back to the ups and downs of all the work waiting for me.

Celebrate with me. I have a new baby.

Hi people. Remember when I took 2 months break earlier this year? There were few reasons I decided to do that. One was because I did not have anything constructive to say then, and my posts started sounding like rambles to me. The other was because I was working on a few projects, and I knew I needed to concentrate because they were all interweaving and taking my time.

I was getting too overwhelmed, and one of the projects was not going as smoothly as I hoped. I was not happy about it because a lot depended on its success, and its success meant I had to fail along the way. So I decided to take a break, and told myself I wouldn’t resume until I finished my projects.

However, there was one of the projects I wasn’t able to complete in two months. This is because completing this project was like the process of being pregnant till I birth the baby. I knew I couldn’t afford to miscarry this baby. I also did not want to put external money into the project at this stage, because I wanted the project to generate its own funds.

After a while, it was obvious I couldn’t complete the project in two months, so I came back to blogsville without completing it, but know the fact that even though it was slower than I expected, the pathway had been laid, and it was just a matter of time (and money).

So people, four months later, I am presenting to you my new baby, a new and improved set African Naturalistas Hair products.

If you notice, I have reformulated, redesigned, rebranded, and expanded. This is in order to make sure that these products can stand any physical and scientific test, and be compared to the best Natural hair care products in the US. I noticed that many Nigerians use US products for their natural hair, just because they have no Nigerian products to cater for their unique challenges. So you have no excuse again, whether you are natural or a rtelaxed lady who just wants to reduce the amount of chemicals you use on your hair. We are here for you.

So if you want to find out more about these products, how you can purchase, etc. Click here. As for me, I am glad that I finally delivered this baby safely.