A Menace no one is Immune from

Ok, so I had a long bout of illness recently, and lost a lot of energy. Along with my illness came self-pity because I couldn’t function as effectively and efficiently as I used to. My production level went down to almost, and I was depressed a lot of times. Nothing depresses me like not being able to achieve the goal I set for myself.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my motivation level went down to -50. I mean, I lost every drive and motivation within me, that I couldn’t even believe it. Even the things I should normally do, I didn’t do, cos I did not have the will to do.

Yesterday, my mum sent a picture of an SUV on third mainland bridge. I don’t know if you got it. People gathered round the car, just spectating. The owner of the SUV had just gotten down from the car, and jumped into the lagoon.

JUST LIKE THAT



I was shocked. That could easily have been me. I mean, don’t we all have problems? And here I was, wallowing in self-pity, losing the will to move on, just because I lacked enough energy to walk up the stairs, and somebody has problems large enough to warrant suicide, by his/her own justification.
When we are in the heat of our bad situations, it’s always hard to believe that it will pass, especially in that moment of fire, but

IT WILL PASS

Just remember, no matter how bad the situation is, it could always be worse, so thank God for what it is now, though that might be difficult.

My human temperament is Choleric and Melancholy, so it’s always easy for me to slip into self-pity and depression when things don’t go the way I plan, but thank God for His Spirit, who brings a different perspective, and keeps away suicidal thoughts.

Yesterday’s incident helped me remember that even though I am not happy with the way things are going, life will become better for me soon, and park my car on third mainland bridge, and jump off.

Have you ever had to deal with suicidal thoughts? How were you able to handle it?

5 comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Atilola, God is your strength, continue to cast all your cares on Him, God cares about you

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  3. I haven't had suicidal thoughts, but there were times (even as recent as last year) where I really thought I'd rather die than continue in whatever circumstance. I feel sad that a lot of Nigerians still think depression is an oyibo thing, and doesn't affect us.

    That being said, there's nothing that's too hard or too big for God to fix. Like you said, "this too shall pass."

    Berry Dakara Blog

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  4. I have been depressed so many times but I have never had the courage to take my own life. I learnt the power of vision board right on this blog. " I WILL SURVIVE THIS'' is boldly written on it.

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  5. I really wish there were more avenues to discuss depression (as in clinical depression, not just sadness- but sadness too) in communities of color the world over. Its such a taboo and there are so many ppl who can be saved from fate's like this if we're just willing to talk and to listen.

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