As a newlywed, when people greet you, it is mostly in reference to your marriage. It is as if the whole world suddenly forgets that there are other existent parts of your life apart from being married. After a while, you begin to wonder when you stop becoming a newly wed in the eyes of people.
Most of these greetigs/comments are not at all offensive to me. I just find the amusing most times. In no particular order, these are the three most common greetings I get
1. How is married life? As a newlywed, nobody asks you how is work, how is your health, how is business, or even how are you doing? It is How is married life? If you are not careful, you might even lose yourself and begin to derive your identity from your new status because that's all people now ask about you.
2. Marriage is sweet abi? Honestly, when people ask this, I don't know what exactly they have in mind. The struggles I had as an individual before marriage are
still the struggles I have as an individual in marriage. Something tells me that when people say marriage is sweet abi, they are referring to sex, but I don't want to indulge such questions by asking them to clarify their meanings, so I just smile.
3. Marriage is not what you expected abi? And then there are the downers who are trying to protect you from impending disappointments by telling you not to get your hopes up. They say things like Men change o, so don't be too shocked if something happens. Brace up for whatever comes your way. How can this even be something you say to a newlywed? It is safe to assime that the people who pass these comments have suffered many disappointments from their partners. The fact that I don't go about gushing about my marriage up and down does not mean I am getting disappointed daily, so if I am silent, just take it as my choice to be silent. Don't assume it is not what I expected.
Thankfully, I don't get the "when are we coming to carry baby?" comments. It's either my demeanour doesn't allow for that or the world has suddenly become wiser because I know newlyweds used to complain so much about this.
As a newlywed, what were the most recurring comments you got? And if you are not yet married, what comments have your newlywed friends complained about