FALSE MIRRORS - BY ATILOLA MORONFOLU

 High School Physics taught is that there are different kinds of mirrors. Plain Mirrors and False Mirrors. The false mirrors are the concave and convex mirrors, which give a false of reflection of your image. 

If you ever have the misfortune of having a wrongly constructed mirror in your bedroom, like many people do, you will always have an issue with your image. These mirrors might be slightly concave or convex, but you will not suspect because they appear plane to you, especially since the distortion is not usually obvious

The implication of this is that you might be on a weight-loss journey, but you will always be discouraged because you can’t see any improvement when you look at the mirror. Ever heard of the saying “this mirror always makes me look fat”? Yes, it really does happen with false mirrors

We have badly constructed mirrors everywhere. One moment, you are at home, looking all curvy and toned, and you get to the gym, look in the mirror and you are plump and stout.  

This is the same way many of us look into false mirrors when we want to see how our lives really look like. We get opinions of how we look from people who are by themselves distorted in their perspectives, and they reflect a wrong image of us to ourselves when they give us feedback. We take these things to heart and feel bad, not knowing that the mirror is false.

Some make us look too good to be true, like concave mirrors, and become sycophants, that we refuse to work on our weaknesses. Also, some constantly make us look so bad that it becomes impossible to take a quantum leap out of the cycle of condemnation

False mirrors are not completely useless. They are perfect for doing things like magnifying imperfections on our face, making a near object appear far or vice versa, and a thousand more uses. However, these are not the mirrors we should be looking at when we want to see our true reflections

In the same way, feedback is generally not bad. But they must be sieved and put in proper context. Feedback and opinions taken from a very wrong perspective actually have the ability to send you into a downward spiral.

Whenever we want to see who we really are, we have to get neutral opinion, the opinion of God’s word, what He says we really are. Anything apart from this will lead to nothing but distorted life view, and not propel us into the reality of what God wants for us.

How I got my writing groove back

For almost three years now, I have had issues with my creativity and writing. If you have been a consistent follower or reader of this blog, you should be able to testify as to the change in my write ups.

I have not been able to write creatively for sometime. I have not written my usual witty, comedy, tragedy posts in years. I have written very few spoken word poems, and it was because I couldn't get away with it, as they were paid jobs, in which I had to deliver.

Thankfully, I knew when my problem started, and the factors that triggered this unfortunate circumstance. I noticed that as soon as I got married and moved out of my parents house, something changed in the way my mind was working. I moved from a very big house to a tiny two bedroom flat in a high brow area in Lagos. If only I had known the effect of this, I wouldn't have agreed when me and my fiance-turned-husband were looking for a place to stay. It was a big compound with several blocks of flats, and ours was just a tiny flat amongst other tiny flats. I never felt like I was at home, neither did I feel a sense of ownership. But worst of all, even though the house wasn't small for my husband and I to occupy physically, the space was too small for my brain to operate.

Immediately we moved, my creativity moved, spontaneous ideas ceased, I became increasingly sad, and sometimes depressed. I just couldn't write again. My personal blog and African Naturalistas blog were greatly affected. Before this, I never knew the correlation between space/dimensions/comfort and creativity/inspiration.

Thankfully, we have moved out of that place, most especially because we outgrew it in just over two years, though my mind had outgrown it from Day 1. We are now in a far bigger place, with a wide space I can solely call mine. My mind is free to roam, just like my hands are free to plant. My creativity is back, and my family and I are more settled.

Thank God. I will be writing again. I'm so happy.

If you can stomach this love affair, you can help me

Hi dearies. How are you all doing? Hope you are keeping your heads above water, and steering of random and idle words.

That time has come again, when I would ask for your help, lol. I never cease to ask for help, right? Well, I am humble like that.

It's been a while since I talked about books, writing, etc, on this page. In fact, I have not talked about book publishing since 2013. It was very intentional. Even though I did a lot of marketing of my books in 2012 and 2013, it was very tiring, and I decided I wanted to take a break from the whole self-publishing thing, and go the way of traditional publishing if I had the opportunity. As we all know, traditional publishing is almost non-existent in Nigeria. But then, when has something or the lack of something ever stopped me.

All I am trying to say now is I think I want to self-publish another book. In fact, the book is ready. It has been ready since the year 2013. No, it is not a collection of poems, short stories or comic write ups. It is a proper novel.

And this is where you guys come in. I need 10 people to read this book of mine, and assess it, giving their honest opinions, no holds barred.

I don't think it is a boring book, I think it is a page-turner, but there's a comma in this book...

It might rub some people the wrong way.

It features an affair between a young man and a teenage girl.

You see why it might be too sensitive for some people. Read the first paragraph of the book below.

Some people say loving a child the way one should love an adult is either a sign of mental illness or just plain depravity, but I beg to differ. There was definitely nothing sick or depraved about the love I had for (...). One thing about my love for her is that it is real, which is more than I can say about the ones many adults have for one another.

Anyway, I need 10 people to volunteer to read my novel. and then I would decide what to do next about this book of mine. I need book lovers to help me finish this beta reading in 2 weeks. Don't be scared, it won't be boring, lol.

All you need to do is put your email address in the comment session if you want to read this novel, or send your email address to hattylolla@yahoo.com, so I can mail the soft copy to you.

Please help me o. I need to earn in dollars this year, abeg. I gotta publish this book. Help me read this book, so my market can sell.

Please people, I need your help... again.

Hello everyone, from the blog topic, you can already tell that I need your help. I hope you are not tired of me asking for help, as I would be asking for another one in two weeks time. Lol

So, my second book is ready. No, I did not just complete it. I finished it since last year October but did not really do much to it, as there are some things I want to accomplish with it. Anyway, it is a comedy book - not serious literature, its just pure comedy, to make people laugh. The bloggers that took part in the analysis on the book last year understand what I am talking about. So after doing all my background check, I titled the book 'For Laff's Sake', and the book went on to be designed along that line.

The problem is that I have now developed a kind of not-good feeling towards that title. I feel it's too explicit, simple, etc. I told Geebee I was looking for a title that is very catchy. I suggested 'I dare you to laff' and 'I think I am funny'. He did not like both of them. I think the latter sounds lame too, after considering it again.

So here is where I need help. Can you suggest titles for a comedy book? It is not one story, it is several short stories, written for the sole purpose of easing stress and making people laugh. Here is what I want.

1. The title shouldn't sound Nigerian. The book has some Nigerian contents in it, but it's for the international market, so I tried as much as possible to balance it.

2. The title should sound catchy. This should be something that would make people take a second look at it when they see it on bookshelves. Something like 'I will kill your father', lol. I don't plan to kill anyone's father, but at least that title got your attention.

3. The title should hint at comedy/humour, but does not have to spell it out explicitly. An example is Ellen Degeneres's humour book, 'Seriously, I'm kidding'. You get the drift here.

4. The title should possess some form of magic, lol, that would just make people love it.

Thanks in advance for your help. Please, please, I need it ASAP. Don't leave this blog with the intention of thinking about it later, you would most likely forget. Please, think now and drop your suggestions in the comment section, more than one suggestion is welcome.

As an appreciation, I would release the back page that was designed for the book for you to see and read. If a publisher eats this dodo I am frying for them, I probably would have to drop this back cover.

In the mean time, enjoy it and let the suggestions flow.

Back Cover - Cick to enlarge and read

My new book - Reader survey needed

Source

Hi people. I know I am always doing this, but really, what are we here for, if not to help each other? Ehhmmm, I need your help once again. Well, the help of at least 10 people to be exact.

The content for my next book is ready yaaayyyy! Finishing this required me to be more disciplined, but thank God I pulled through.

Some of you might already know what the book is about, and the irregularity behind it. To be point blank, just like my first book, Antonyms of a Mirage, was, this book will also be the first of its kind in Nigeria.

Because of this irregularity, I will be carrying out a reader survey, which is where you come in.

What is required of you

1. I will send you the raw edited content of the book, along with an analysis form with questions you will be required to answer

2. You are required to read the book and submit the form to me exactly one week from when I give it to you (never mind, it is not such a big book). So, if you are a busy medical doctor who hardly gets time to sleep, you might not be able to finish it within the required time. As a regular 9-5 person who loves to read, this is what you might want

3. 100% confidentiality. Whatever you get must be limited to you and your eyes. No sharing with anyone.

What you will benefit

1. The opportunity to be the first person to read my upcoming book, and know what it’s about

2. When the book comes out, you get your guaranteed free copy (Hard or soft, whichever you want) anywhere you are in the world, I promise. Have I ever promised something and not fulfilled it?

So please, who is interested in partaking in this survey? Please, please, I need your help o, but most importantly, I need your commitment. There’s no use being able to help, if I won’t get it in one week.

If you are interested, just indicate in the comment box by putting your email address down, and I will send you the materials, or send me a mail to hattylolla@yahoo.com

Thanks in advance, as you volunteer you time to help me, and enjoy reading my next book for free.

Gracias

@ilola

Bloggers, Readers, Writers... your help is needed

Remember the last post where I said I was going to 98.1 Smooth fm for a Book Reading/Review session, Author Interview and all? Well, I had a lovely time with the presenter, Hauwa. I hope some of you listened to the interview oo. I ended up taking few pictures.


My interview with TITI on Inspiration fm is this Friday, by 11.00 a.m. Please, don't forget to tune in. Thanks.

Hauwa, the presenter, and I

So as the topic implies, I need your help once again. I am currently working on a project and I think this approach is good, as it will make me more accountable. When i was a diary writer for my department in my former office, I realised that my articles were funniest when they gave me a specific topic or tagline to work on. I had to crack my brain and had to deliver well.

Anyway, I am working on a project, in which most of the articles must be funny but if I wait for inspiration from myself alone, I might take longer than required. So this is what I need you to do for me. Everyone should give me a topic or theme they want me to write on. I determine the setting, the characters and how the story will go. All I want from you is a topic or a theme. Then after writing, I will submit the story to you through your email address. So you get the story for whatever topic you choose, but you are only allowed to read the story aloud to one person. The story is yours and must not be shared. Let’s just put it this way, you are the teacher, I am the student. You give me an assignment, and I submit to you.

The guidelines for giving me a topic are stated below.

1. I, Atilola, should be able to relate to or understand the topic. For example, prism wrote about ratchet, which I believe is a reigning slang in US used for a very tacky person. That’s what I understood after googling it, I might be wrong. In this instance, I won’t be able to write about ratchet cos i can’t relate with it. So I won’t be writing about US or Asian slangs for that matter. Softly softly on me.

2. It must be a topic or a theme I can turn into something funny. For example, you can’t ask me to write by taking on the character of a paedophile. I am currently working on an article where I am a paedophile, but in no way can that article be funny to me or any right-thinking person. It can only be a melancholic or bitter article.

3. Please, think wide. Think outside the box. Be creative with the topic. You are allowed to suggest more than one topic, suggest as many as you like.

I am sure you are wondering why I am, stressing you guys when you the ones helping me. Abeg, I am on my knees, please, just be my teacher for once. Please

My punishment

After you guys give me your topic, once I have decided that I can write on your topic, I will be committing to a submission deadline to each person, which I will mail to you guys. If I don’t submit it by then, unfollow me on my blog and twitter. I sure don’t want to lose followers, so this is a serious punishment for me.

Thanks in advance for all. You guys are too much. So let me see what kind of suggestions I will be finding in the comment section.

Book Launch – Against the Perfect Will by Rita Okoroafor

I got to attend the book launch Against the Perfect Will, by Rita of Ero inspirations two weeks ago. I must say that I thoroughly benefited from attending this launch, as I got to know Rita better and found out what inspired her to write this book.

Rita is very unassuming, she carries on the inside a wealth of experience and knowledge which you cannot judge, just by looking on the outside. I got to know her as very intelligent (raised to power 100 and more) and driven.

For me, her book launch revealed that the book is very relevant to our times. It projects the real issues young people in our times face, and I am sure that everyone alive has one or two lessons to pick from the book.

I also enjoyed the small chops shared at the Book Launch, lol.

But seriously, you really need to read the book, I can assure you that it will be worth your while.

The synopsis goes thus

Omolola Aderemi (also called Lola in the book) is my main character. Lola is an intelligent, talented, focused young girl. She was raised in a Christian home. She is reserved and easy going. She did have her flaws – she was very clingy (she always needed someone by her side), she was a bit of a conservative, and she was totally unprepared for exposure.

She was very close to two people – her father, whom she lost to lung cancer when she turned seventeen, and her best friend Tolu, whom she had known since she was five years old. Lola’s relationship with her mother and siblings was a bit cordial.

Lola had great dreams of becoming a pediatrician. Against the Perfect Will is a story of how here strength of character was tested, and the resulting consequences.

The book can be found at amazon.com; barnesandnobles.com. There are both hard copies and soft copies (kindle, nook, etc). In Lagos they can be found at Patabah books (Shop B18, Adeniran Ogunsanya Shopping Mall, Surulere). For those in Lekki 1, Victoria Island and Ikoyi, you can be contacted her directly to pick copies of the book. There are currently limited copies in Port Harcourt - to be restocked in 2 weeks time.

The True Story behind the book – Antonyms of a Mirage

So for people that have read the book, people that are still reading, people that haven’t read and everyone... I am sure you are all wondering how such a book came to exist. You will all agree that you had never seen the concept of the book before. Well, I hope sha, I might be wrong. The truth is that I, myself, had never seen the concept before. I would like to be able to boast and say, this concept was mine, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. So if no one had ever seen such a book before and the concept wasn’t mine, how exactly did this come to being? Read the true story behind the creation of the book below.

As most of you know, I am not a romance writer, I haven’t published a thriller yet, I am not a mystery writer, I just write. I write whatever comes to my head because I have to write. If you have read the preface to the book, you will understand that. I write, write, write. I can look at you, get into your head and write anything that comes out. The thing is that I never write so that I can publish or sell a book. I Just Write. In fact, maybe I should rename this blog IJUSTWRITE. Lol.

I never intended to publish a book or be an author. Sometime last August, I was about to sleep, and (I am about to get spooky and spiritual here, so be careful) God showed me my book. He told me to take all my write ups and write some few more and make it a book. I couldn’t believe it. My write-ups were scattered. They couldn’t be categorised, they couldn’t be classified. Some were funny, some were bitter, in fact very bitter that I wondered how a happy girly like me could write such. A lot were introspective. They were just all over the place. A combination of my articles was like an irritating concussion rice that a bachelor would hurriedly put together so he wouldn’t go to bed hungry. So, I told God, ‘since I just write, what exactly will I say this book is about?’ People will say I am scattered.

Here was the reply. You will arrange the articles, classify them into sessions and they will be defined by different characters. This is because the writer has split personalities that are struggling in her head. When one character finishes telling different stories, another character will come and kick her out. You will depict them with fighting pictures.

I was so excited when this conversation was going on. My head suddenly started aching. It was pounding seriously. I wanted to sleep but God was talking. I had to shout STOP, STOP, I want to go and sleep. Please, Lord, STOP. I couldn’t sleep because of the excitement and the headache. I kept seeing the book in my mind, just like some of you have seen it.

People, the only problem was.... I never saw the Cover Page, and God did not tell me the Title. I don’t know why, but I guess that’s the way He wanted it. Seven months later, the book was with the Graphic artist and I was still begging God for a Title. You all know the story behind how I came up with the title. If you don’t know it, click here.

As for the cartoon on the cover page, the cartoonist came up with the idea. I told him I wanted a drawing depicting split personalities, something people will grab instantly without me having to explain it to them. I told him that I wanted someone looking into a shattered mirror and seeing six different personalities at the same time, but he said the personalities falling out of her braids will be better. I am not a choosy person, so I just rolled with his suggestion.

The book is 136 pages, 44 articles, 70% of which were never intended to be published. This is why you will find some true life scenarios there like Atilola and Her Yuppy Sugar Daddy, My Daddy is Samson, etc. mostly written by the comic one. Although, out of 44 entries, only about six are true scenarios of mine. I believe that if I wrote because I wanted to publish, I would have never ended up with such a book. I know myself. The concept was never mine!

Antonyms of a Mirage will therefore come to you in volumes. The reason is this.... I Just Write!

The Last Entry Game

Hi people, how is the week going so far? Hope cool? Thanks for your kind words and encouragement in my last video post. I keep trying to do better.

I want to thank everyone that has supported me in my editing career. At least, I have edited novels for some bloggers and I thank God they were impressed. Please, if you need an editor or know someone that needs, do not hesitate to refer them to me. You can click on this link for my Terms and Conditions.

I think I want to start writing as a columnist in lifestyle magazines. I have my reasons for this desire. Please, fellow bloggers, biko, abeg can you mention lifestyle magazines in Nigeria, apart from Genevieve, YNaija and TW cos I have written to those ones already. If you suggest, please, be kind enough to add the contact email addresses to your suggestions Thanks

So we would be having the last entry game for this year. Unfortunately, there would just be two entries this time, I did not have any piece to make up a third one.

1. Fire and Brimstone Preacher- As the title implies, it is an article about a fire and brimstone preacher always preaching on the road in a judgemental manner. Before she preaches to you every morning, she has a premonition that you just sinned last night.

2. Memoirs of a Lagos Bus beggar - This is also an article about a man that uses begging to scam people in the bus, playing on their religious sympathy.

Please, you can only pick one. The one with the highest vote gets posted. Thanks

Antonyms of a Mirage

First of all, I want to thank everyone that helped me with suggestions and advice in this post. I don’t really know what I would have done if I were not on blogger. In fact, if I were not on blogger, I don’t think my book project would have been possible, because I wouldn’t have been able to develop my writing skills.

So, according to 100% of the opinions, I will be dropping the name ‘The Write Lady’. I will really miss you though, we were best of friends, but I need to leave you to your legal owner. I have already taken it down from my twitter handle @hattylolla, using my real name for the main time, that is till I find an untaken pen name.

As for the book title, though I love Curious Cases, after Myne discovered the issue with Curious it, I disliked her for the next 10 seconds and then after much deliberation, I decided to drop the name and wait for another 7 months for the next nice name to drop in my head. Fortunately for me, I waited for just one day and something struck.

The title Curious Cases really captured the concept of the book, not exactly the content. So I told myself, ‘I can either go the concept way or the content way. What if I look at the contents and name the book that way?’ That was also hard sha because of the nature of the book, which you all know by now. I then asked myself again ‘What is the common factor of all the entries in the book?’ The obvious answer to that was REALITY. The truth is that the common man can relate to all the entries, even though a single person might not have personally experienced every story (I hope so sha, or else the person will be pretty messed up). Apart from the reality factor, I don’t think there’s any common factor.

Obviously, even though the common factor is Reality, I can’t title my book Reality, it is just too boring and not catchy at all. Imagine if I said, ‘Hey Ginger, HoneyDame, buy my book, the title is Reality.’ What will be your response? So I asked myself ‘What is the opposite of reality? The title of my book will be the Opposite of the Opposite of Reality.’ I hope you get the concept. In maths, they said - × - = +. This means that the Opposite of the Opposite of Reality = Reality.

Another word for Opposite is Antonym and there are so many antonyms of reality in English language. I went for Mirage because it also captures the concept of the different changing characters in the book. So my dear readers Reality = Antonyms of a Mirage. There goes the book title, ANTONYMS OF A MIRAGE.

In other news, the book cover and character drawings are not ready. I am so sad, because my graphic designer was on his way to me for an appointment and guess what happened, he was robbed and by who? By fake policemen. They took his laptop, iPad and phone. He had my number in his head, and borrowed a phone from a passerby to call me and tell me about the situation. He said he was going to a police station to report the situation. People, I have not heard from him since then o. He hasn’t replied my mails but I was able to ascertain that he’s safe. I am not happy at all because this has drawn me back in my target time by 2 weeks. Anytime I remember the situation, I just get really pissed. I pray I get to see him very soon.


Have a great week

Your opinion is really needed

Hi People, sorry for the absence on my blog. I was really ill. I don’t know if you could tell from the one-word comments I was leaving on your blogs, but thanks to God, I am getting better.

I want to run something by you guys, just to get your opinions. I wanted to brand myself sometime last year, so I started calling myself The Write Lady. I made sure people identified me that way and attached the name to me. I was going to design the brand and then changed the template of this blog to conform to it. In the process of doing that, I found out that there was a female ghost writer who already calls herself that same name. In fact, she had already registered the name. I was really pained cos I really love the name. My question therefore is, will I be doing wrong to still address myself by that name and still let people refer to me that way, even though I am not going to legally own it. All I want to do is brand myself and everything about my writing and editing that way. So what do you guys think?

If you don’t think I should keep holding on to the name, what other name close to that can you suggest?

Finally, I think I found a name for my book. Can you imagine that my book has been with the graphic designer and the person doing the trailer for one month and it had no title? I didn’t even have the effrontery to rush them as I was the major culprit. The ailment didn’t make it any better. Anyway, I have decided to call my book Curious Cases. Wow, such a relief... after about 7 months of looking for a title.

I decided to go with Curious Cases because it’s an anthology with each page unfolding a very unexpected write-up. It is a book of split personalities, a total of six personalities dragging you into the book and all of them fighting for your attention, thereby kicking each other out of the pages. I really cannot explain, but when you see it, you will understand.

It has poetry, prose and drama. It has comedy, tragedy and serious stuffs all in it. It also has both animations and real life experience in it. One thing is sure, you will be able to relate to every single page.

Also, the book is going to be in volumes, because I will keep writing these sorts of things. That also delayed my finding a title cos I wanted a catchy title that will be able to retain its ‘catchiness’, no matter how the content might change and how long it will be required to stay in the market.

So the second opinion of yours I need is what do you think about the title, Curious Cases? Does it draw you to want to know what the book is about? Do you think it is a good enough title for an anthology with multiple volumes? Does it reflect a split personality? If you think you have a better title that reflects these things, please, can you suggest it?

Thanks in advance, as you try to address the two situations stated above.

Before and After (The magic of editing)

So... I have been working on my book for a while and that involved taking down some posts from this blog and editing them. Just in case you did not know, I took down over 30 posts from this blog in October last year. If you notice, whenever you click on any of my poems link in the poem tab, you will realized that they are all missing. In fact, that is the answer to the giveaway question I asked in my welcome back post, which no one got till today.

So, as I was saying, apart from the new entries for the book, which have been featuring in the entry game, I brushed up old ones and made them book-worthy. In the process of brushing them up, I realized that I had actually been putting up utter rubbish. In fact, while editing, I felt really bad for my blog readers. I was like ‘Why were they praising my writing? What the hell was I thinking putting such unprofessional works on blog?’ so I now officially apologise to you guys for putting up a shoddy job of some of my poetry and prose.

In case, you are not convinced, check out the poem below and let it speak for itself. It is a poem that was on this blog for a very long time. It is titled Already Taken

Need I say more? That, my readers, is the difference between a shoddy work and a well edited work. In case, you did not know or might have forgotten, I am not only a writer, but an editor (Terms and Conditions are here). Apart from editing fiction and other articles, I also edit poems, without allowing it lose its context, getting rid of unnecessary padding and clots in the process. This is a very sensitive process. I for one would rather edit fictions and regular articles, but if I have to edit poems, I won’t reject the offer. After all, I have to put food on my table.

So let me know... what do you think?

P.S: Thanks to all my new followers. I hope you like the blog. Thanks for dropping by