Monitoring Spirits on BBM


Happy new year my people. Thank God for seeing us through 2015. It was a great year for me, and I enjoyed the peace that surpassed all understanding. I never shook, through any storm. I never even felt any storm, lol. 2016 will be a greater year for us all in Jesus name.

If you are my friend on BBM, you would know by now that I am of strange ways when it comes to BBM updates. I might not upload a picture or status for a whole year, then update for 2 weeks, and disappear for a whole year again.

In my opinion, BBM is more personal than facebook, Instagram, blogger, and the likes. Anyone on your BBM is supposed to be closer to you than the general gbogbo ero. I have noticed that some people add you up on BBM not specifically because they want to get closer to you, but they want to have their noses all up in your business.

My BBM friends have no advantage over my blogsville friends. In fact, I say absolutely nothing on BBM, and if anyone wants to ‘monitor’ me, the best way to do it is to read my blog, of which the update would come weeks or months later, anyway.

When I first got a blackberry, I used to update status and pictures regularly, but sometime in February 2012, I stopped. I just wished the whole world would go away and leave me alone. But then, I published my first book, Antonyms of a Mirage. People started putting the picture of my book cover on their DP, in order to celebrate me. So I was shamed into coming out of hiding, so I started updating pictures again, mostly with my book cover.

By 2013 ending, I stopped again, mostly because I wanted the world to just leave me alone… again. I noticed that anytime I change my DP, people would start chatting with me. And I didn’t want to chat.
So I started updating DPs at about 1am or 2am when I wanted to go and sleep, when I know people would be too asleep to chat me up.

But then, I would wake up the next morning, and see some chats waiting for me. *sigh*

It was as if they were monitoring me. I couldn’t even upload a DP in peace. I started getting scared of uploading DPs, lol.

People would be greeting you, asking directionless questions, trying to strike up chats that go nowhere, just because you changed your DP. So I left my phone totally blank. It was time to start chatting with people who remembered me regardless of whether I change my DP and status or not.

At this time, I had started losing taste for my pictures. For over two years, I had stopped displaying my pictures, not even on my birthday. People hardly knew my birthday (which was intentional, as I took it off all social media pages), and for the people who knew, they won’t put up my picture on their DP, since mine is blank, and they get the message that I don’t want to be acknowledged. For the ones who actually go out of their way to put it up (like old time friends), I reach out to them, and tell them to take my picture down. And till now, that’s how it has been.

I don’t celebrate my birthday, anyone’s birthday, new year, new month, Christmas, Easter, Salah, trips, or anything on my DP.

So it got to a point I asked myself “why should I be afraid of uploading anything on the DP of the phone I bought with my money?”

Anyway, I am no more afraid. I have learnt that when people chat you up, you don’t have to reply immediately, you can wait till you have time. And if you don’t want to chat, you can end the conversation by giving answers that leave no room for dialogue, in a very polite manner. Eventually, people get the message, and just leave you alone.

For the past one month now, I have uploaded about 5 DPs of the quotes I make for Instagram, and the few responses have been positive, yet not intrusive. I really want people to learn from the quotes, which is why I braved up the courage to start uploading again. I think people just get the message after a while, and leave you alone.

I have been a good girl for the past one month. If BBM monitoring spirits start manifesting again, I might be forced to go back into hiding.

Is there anyone who feels my plight, or am I the only strange one here?

19 comments

  1. In a way, I understand, and in a way, I dont. Prune your contact list and be as free as a bird....lol..As i type, I have a message opened from a contact, talking about "oh you forgot me since after wishing me a happy new year". It will show him that it has been read...and that is all I intend to say to him...NOTHING! And the world wont end. Lol

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    1. Lol, HoneyDame, you are meeaann.

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    2. I have just 15 contacts on my bbm btw. There is room for only one love interest. Once we park up the relationship, you are making room because there is no room for number 16.

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    3. See en, Hd has spoken my mind. And you can remove the update feature per contact so I hardly see useless updates

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  2. I have like 15 people on my BBM contact list and half of them are family. I don't accept invites from people I know I won't chat with for months or have nothing to say to. As it is, it sometimes takes me days to respond to some messages sef.

    NaijaBachelor.com

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    1. Ahn ahn, Biggest Boi. The people in Your inner circle are really privileged o, lol.

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  3. Lol. You are alone o. Just remove people you don't want and be free. My sister has like just 5 or 10 people she wants.

    No one owes anyone any special treatment of "when someone should respond" I am more free with my own bbm sha but there are times I also want to be left alone, those times, I go offline. sikena

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    1. Mean! That's what you are. *sticks tongue out*

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  4. I have 8 people on BBM. If someone doesn't send a message to me, sometimes I forget I even have it. I'm a lot more constant on Whatsapp and I enjoy that I don't have to see updates.

    Berry Dakara Blog

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    1. Berry I think the monitoring spirit is worse on WhatsApp cos someone can know when last you were online, if you're online and so... I prefer bbm, if I don't update or read your message you won't know I'm there. I might actually be the one doing the stalking and you won't know lol. A friend of my husband hasn't changed his do for over a year now, he's no longer on bbm as far as I'm concerned, but he's first to call when he notices something on your do the moment you update it, creepy much.

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    2. @Berry: Lol. Updates are why people love BBM naa?

      @Lohla: Yes o. It just occurred to me last week that the monitoring on whatsapp is second to none. Kai, that's last seen feature can drive stalkers insane o.

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  5. I guess I agree with you. I dont mind acknowledging people's birthdays and such. I am not a big selfie taker and so I rarely upload my own picture. I celebrated by anniversary by uploading my wedding pic from almost ten years ago and people still use that pic on my birthday. I simply do not share what I don't want to on social media and that is that. On the other hand, I don't understand why people want to post everything. If I acknowledged your trip on Monday, I am done, until you get married or have a child, I am ignoring all your other pics. If you post so much of your life on bbm, whatsapp, or facebook, you want to be monitored. Do not invite someone into your bedroom and then ask why they are looking at your bed.

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    1. Your last statement mehn, so sagacious. I doff my hat for you.

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  6. Lol! Sigh! I'm with you on monitoring spirits! For those who ask silly questions lol is usually my answer or if they have no business knowing just ignore

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  7. You can turn off the 'last seen' feature on whatsapp. Neither party of whatsapp will know when/whether the other person is online.
    I much prefer bbm to whatsapp because I have more control over monitoring spirits in bbm . I have never updated a status or picture on whatsapp. The singular fact that all a person needs into my private space is my number is creepy. And on bbm, I have deleted people who have no relevance in my life since we neither chat nor felicitate with ourselves on birthdays and stuff, but did you know, these people monitor themselves back into my life and re-add me. I just chill till I can chill no more, and delete them again. If we see in person and ask if i deleted them, i can either affirm, or for the sake of peace claim the likewise valid reasoning that i just changed my phone, or my bbm crashed. I rarely update personal statuses or pictures on bbm as a result of monitoring spirits.

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  8. I have 10 active members on my bbm and I don't update or change DPs. I don't give out my PIN sef. If anyone asks me, I just say I don't chat.

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  9. Atiola, Ahhhh. ... that's my eyes in that picture. I will sue you ooo. Lol.

    I wrote a similar post - Somebody Is Watching

    These monitoring spirits sha!

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What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.