Dear Single People: You are not welcome here!

In recent times, we've seen a deluge of advice on social media, most especially on Facebook... about marriage. To be honest, many of the advices I come across are quite sensible and will do couples well if only they applied it.

The good or bad thing, depending on how you look at it, is that many of these marriage advices are given by unmarried people and you find in the comment section where people tell them that a single person shouldn't dish out marriage advice because it would only be based on ideals and theories. They say they can never understand marriage if they are not married. One particular blogger turned relationship counselor who is still single does not hesitate to reply saying "I don't have to be married to give advice." Her argument is that you don't have to be married to know what is right in marriage for example domestic violence and cheating, no matter the gender involved, is wrong. But their comeback is always, go and get married first before you come to advise on marriage.

As for me, I find merit on the side of both parties. I mean you don't have to be married to see red flags where there are red flags. If your married friend is dying in her marriage, you won't just leave her to die because you are single and feel unqualified to knock sense into her head. On the other hand, ever since I got married, there are some experiences I've had that will define the tone of my "counsel" which will never be the same if I have never married before. This is not to say being married automatically qualifies one to be a counselor. After all, we know some married people are a disgrace to the institution of marriage.

Another angle to look at it is that some of these single people giving advice have married friends, parents in good marriages, great marriage mentors, etc. even though they are not married themselves. So we can say they have secondhand marriage experience. Are these secondhand experiences not enough for them to give counsel on marriage? Do they need to be married to know marital rights and wrongs?

But really, as a single person, why give advice to someone who might not listen to you just because of your status? So instead of them to take the advice, they turn your good intentions to a battle of single versus married.

So the question is, in your opinion, is it appropriate for singles to give advice marriage relationships or should their advice be limited to single people only?

Please not that single people here refers to anyone who is not married legally or traditonally.


  1. I am single and most of my married friends still turn to me for advice. I don't think there is anything wrong in that. But there is always a limit to the counsel I give them because I am not yet married.

  2. Sincerely, I try as much as possible not to give advice in a marriage relationships, except it's a close friend and my advise was solicited. Even then I do with caution.


What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.