Don't call me Mama (1) - Lust visited, and the visitor got lost

I started my period at the age of 11, and never for once since then had I missed my period. They were as regular as a tax calendar. So imagine my shock when 6 weeks after marriage, the period got lost, considering the fact that we were not planning to have a child immediately. I felt we had been careful, counting the cycle. What a joke!

I told my husband about the lost period and told him I was suspecting pregnancy because I had never missed a period. He kind of laughed it off, saying "it's like you are eager to get pregnant." I felt like punching him. After another 2 days, when the ‘lost’ wasn't found, I told him again, and then we brought out the pregnancy kit

I had bought two pregnancy test strips at pound land last year October. Even though I wasn't married, my wedding was around the corner, and I figured that at least 9 months from then, we should be trying for a baby. I felt it was a good idea to save money by buying the strips for 1 pound each and keeping them for a year than coming to Nigeria to buy them at an exorbitant price in Nigeria

So I used the strip, and it gave a negative result. I was a bit relieved but still confused. “If I'm not pregnant, where exactly is my lost period?” We had been suspecting that maybe it was the antibiotics I used 3 weeks earlier that messed my cycle up, but mehn, I've used antibiotics before and nothing bad happened.

A week later, still nothing. I confided in my friend, and we decided that I should use the second strip which I had been miserly with. I used it.

It wasn't negative

It wasn't positive

It was invalid!

Kai. Wahala. There goes my last strip… So much for saving money from pound land.

The next morning, I had a big fight with the husband. In annoyance, I made an unplanned trip to a diagnostics centre. Blood was pulled and what I suspected all along

It was positive!


Even though I knew what the result would be, I couldn't describe the emotions. My face was just flat. No smile. No cry. It was like my life was over.



The lab attendant noticed my demeanour and started wondering what was wrong. She then bombarded me with loads of questions because she was flabbergasted by my lack of excitement. I guess the excitement on people's faces when she hands them a positive pregnancy test was a major perk of her job (since she was not supposed to know my result but she opened it right in front of me, and read it out to me, as if I was an illiterate who couldn’t read and write)

"Why are you not happy? Are you not married?  I wasn't wearing my wedding ring cos I had left home in anger.

"Is the father around?"

"Yes!"

“Have you done traditional wedding?”

“I've done it.”

“So what is wrong? Oh you've not done white wedding?”

“I've done it.” I replied

“So why are you not happy?”

She just couldn't comprehend why a woman who was perfectly married wouldn't rejoice at the sound of the statement "you are pregnant!" Even though her line of questioning was sad, it revealed the reality of what some women go through. As pathetic as it was, it just wasn't my own reality.

This was my reality… IT WASN’T THE PLAN!

First of all, I had never been as penniless in my life like I was at that moment. I had just done a wedding and rented 2 places (a factory in Ajah and a store front on admiralty way which was going through furnishing). I don't exaggerate when I say millions and millions of naira had been spent in less than 3 months. At that time, maybe I had like 5000 naira in my account.

This was the time for me to sit down and recoup all my investments, not to have a baby. There was just no money for a baby.

Money was my major worry, but there were other worries like. I was hardly married and I was already pregnant. I didn't even get to enjoy my husband first.

I got married as a virgin, and this sex thing we have waited and waited and waiteddddd for, I've not even enjoyed it, and I'm thrusted into motherhood.

I told my friend. “Don't you understand? I can't have a baby in this country (I will explain my reasons for this in a future edition). And I don't have money at the moment.” She kept saying don't worry, money will come. Just plan yourself well. You have nine months to be ready

Even though I wasn’t happy, I could not really be sad or sorrowful. A lot of ladies in my shoes were looking for children of their own. My friend, Berry Dakara, who introduced me to my husband waited for over 3 years with her husband before they had their own child, so I dare not cry because this blessing came at a time when I felt I wasn’t prepared.

And so, I took my blessing like that, not knowing exactly how I would survive 2017 with it, but knowing I would!

Have you ever dealt with unplanned pregnancy or do you know someone who has? How did you or she handle it?

Please, let me know if you have any questions or want me to clarify anything in the comment section.

18 comments

  1. This is so good already. I'm going to enjoy this series....looking forward.

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  2. Ur stories are alwaz so similar...seems like I am reading about myself. Congrats.. enjoy d next 9 months journey

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    1. Really? Interesting coincidence. There's nothing new under the sun, lol.

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  3. Ur stories are alwaz so similar...seems like I am reading about myself. Congrats.. enjoy d next 9 months journey

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  4. I learn from every post you publish, there is wisdom in you.
    Never been in this shoes before, so i'll just glean.
    However, i like the quote you made: "a baby is never a surprise or mistake"

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    1. Thank you for the encouraging comment. I really appreciate.

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  5. Congratulations once again.


    I love the quote, "a baby is never a surprise or mistake"

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    1. Thank you. The quote isn't my original thought though.

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  6. Interesting read...congratulations once more.

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  7. I couldn't comment on the baby post, so I'll just do it here. Congratulations girl... Sorry I meant mama born boy lols. A child is always a great blessing. Welcome to motherhood, its an amazing journey/experience.

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    1. Aww, why couldn't you comment? Hope it's not blogger issues.

      Thanks for your pleasant comment.

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  8. Congratulations! Better get a contraceptive in this time around or else get ready for Irish twins. It’s not rocket science, you’re exposed, well travelled and well read - as long as you didn’t do this that means at the back of your mind you were ready or subconsciously trying to have a baby even if you won’t admit it!

    Motherhood is quite the journey. I believe you’ll make a great mom! Enjoy it!

    P.S: You didn’t have to include Berry’s conception challenges in your narrative.

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    1. Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate.

      Berry is my very close friend. She talked about her challeng a lot of time, before and after conception. Most people reading this know about her previous struggle, so...

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  9. Taken antibotics can make contraceptive ineffective. . that's if u were on contraceptives. Looking forward to the series

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