By the virtue of my job as a trichology practitioner, I encounter women of all ages, varying backgrounds and life experiences, at my hair clinic
Many times, during consultation we have to go down to the personal area of their lives, and I must say, this is one of the things I enjoy most about my work as a trichology practitioner. The fact that women who were previously strangers to me can forget their inhibitions and get personal with me.
Recently, I was discussing with a mother of three. She's a very young career woman, basically got married early. She took a year off her career to focus on her family, and will be resuming a new job soon. When it comes to family support and child care, she's blessed with a supportive mother in law and good domestic hands. She seems to have it all, and obviously, she's basically done with child birth (she has both genders)
Anyway, in the course of our discussion, it was revealed that her IUD had fallen out for sometime, and she wasn't aware, so she continued having sex with her husband, assuming she was protected all these while. It wasn't until the stuff came out while she was using the toilet (hence the topic), that she realized she hadn't been protected. At least, let's thank God it didn't get stuck in her system and cause infections or some other serious internal problems for her.
As at the time she came for consultation, she was waiting for her period, and her hCG level couldn't have been high enough to give a definitive pregnancy test result.
Anyway, some days later, she told me she was pregnant!
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Oh gosh, I was weak. I was speechless and haven't called her till now. First, I don't know if I should be prying and secondly, I don't know what to say
1. She's supposed to resume a very very very good job in an international firm very soon
2. She currently has 3 infants tugging at her skirt hems
3. She's going to have 4 children, all before the age of 30
Basically, it looks like complication of matters, from several perspectives. And all this is because... her chosen family planning method failed
I can't say I feel her pain. I mean, I don't even have children yet.
What do I say to my client? On the day she sent me the message, she was supposed to come for another appointment, which she didn't make.
Has this ever happened to you, or someone you know? How did you/they handle the situation?
Please let me know in the comments section. Hoping to hear from you all.
All i have to say is this life is not just fair. I have two very good friends who are practically having sex every minute with their husbands just so they can conceive. For over 4yrs now yet no show. The other friend keeps having miscarriages, the universe doesn't want to give them a break and nothing is wrong with them. They have done all the tests possible. It's the person that's done or one miserable teenager that can't clean up well the babies will be going to. I'm just upset.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be upset o, lol. This imbalance is just one of the many we see in life. Life can be a pot of beans.
DeleteOh wow!!! I don't even know what to say. You should probably call her just to check up on her though. This is tough o
ReplyDeleteP.s: I've missed this space
Don't disappear again oo.
DeleteA really difficult one indeed,tough call.
ReplyDelete... but it happens in life, and she will find a way out.
DeleteShe has a supportive MIL and nanny....so she can leave the baby with them and resume work ... unless it is against the new job policy to be pregnant within a certain frame of time ... I remember, it has to be every 2 years when starting a new job right?
ReplyDeleteTell her to accept it .. e don happen ...e don happen be that ...she is still very young, after the birth of her child, she can go back to work. Many are begging GOD everyday just to have one.
We are not really sure about the policy of the new job, but from what we heard, they are supportive to women.
DeleteOh wow.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how long she had had the IUCD in for and if she was going for the checks regularly. I know someone it happened to. The IUCD had migrated and she got pregnant. She last child was in her teens. She chose not to have the baby. Said she couldn't.
It's a tough one for your client. I think you should check on her. She chose to tell you all this so far I don't think it would be prying.
She had the IUD for about 8 months before it failed.
DeleteI feel for your contact sha. Raising a child after so many years won't have been easy. However, I am not in favour abortion.
This is tough.
ReplyDeleteYou will then need another 3 months maternity almost immediately you start a new job. Wow! This is tough!!!!!! If her employers don't mind, I guess she can fall back on her support system.
Just talk to her and encourage her. It won't be prying like Tamie said, your relationship is already more than that. Plenty hugs to her, she has a tough call to make!!!
Yeah, she will need the maternity leave about 7 months from entry. I pray everything goes well for her.
DeleteI guess it depends on the policy of the new organization on pregnancy and maternity leaves. last last, she will get unpaid maternity leave in the first year.
ReplyDeleteYou should check on her, it is not prying.
Well, as it stands now, it seems the company is very supportive to women
DeleteCheck on her. Like someone else has said, she has a good support system; it is actually recommended that a woman bear all of her children as early as possible (before she is 35) and the closer to 35 she is the higher the risk (in America over 27 is automatically considered risky). On the other hand, the good job. To me that baby is a blessing. It is a sign of what is to come (yes I am also superstitious). Ultimately, she will choose what is best for herself. I am not about to pretend that married women do not abort pregnancies for convenience. As long as it is done early, she can go on to have healthy kids later on.
ReplyDeleteI actually conceived when I had a three month old. I was erroneously told that breastfeeding would prevent ovulation. I was 29, no help whatsoever and hubby is not the most helpful either. I chose to have him because as inconvenient as it was, I knew too many people ttc and he has been nothing but an angel since he was born. I have two boys who are 13 months apart (second baby came late, based on my edd they would have been exactly 12 months apart) It was a rough first six years for all of us but if I had to do it all over I would not choose different. On the other hand, it s really a choice that she needs to make for herself.
Over 27 is risky in America??? wow
DeleteI'm very inspired by your story. I've never been an advocate for abortion, mistake or not.
Sigh... get in touch with her and ask how she's doing, this must be a bit hard on her, but she should accept it and hopefully not resent the child, there will be better opportunities in the future if this one does not go as planned because of the pregnancy. I wish I all the best!
ReplyDeleteShe's definitely not the kind to resent a child. I've called her, and she has accepted her plight.
DeleteIf she doesn't want or can't afford this child, it's best to have an abortion.
ReplyDeleteAnd IUDs are inserted into your uterus via your vagina.
How could it have come out of her ANUS?
Was that a typo?
No, it's not a typo. It is normally inserted through thr vagina, and comes out through the vagina. But in her case, it came out through her anus. The doctor was also surprised, and said there must have been a breach caused by a piercing of one of her organs, but the hole must have been so tiny that it would have healed by now. I didn't want to type all these details in the post.
DeleteOh wow.....
ReplyDeleteA friend once got pregnant when her first was 4 months old. She prayed and miscarried naturally. She still hasn't forgiven herself even though she's gone on to have a perfectly healthy second child.
Another friend had 2 kids (girls) and her iud failed. She also prayed for a miscarriage which didn't happen till almost 20 weeks of pregnancy. Turns out they were triplets (3 boys). She still doesn't feel bad and instead was grateful that God answered her prayer as she wouldn't have financially been able to add 3 more to the headcount of the family.
From what I know, ALOT of married women PRAY for a miscarriage when they "mistakenly" get pregnant.
Is this a sin?
I'm not exactly sure about God answering prayers for 'miscarriage'. It totally goes against what He has said in the scriptures, and we know that God is not an author of confusion.
DeleteCan we consider that some of the women don't take care of their pregnant selves cos they don't even want the babies in the first place, and this factor might contribute to miscarriage?
wow, no idea what to say, this is really tricky
ReplyDeleteJust the same way I felt.
Delete