Don't Call me Mama (9) - Labour is not that serious. Or is it?

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope we are all staying home, having a great time with family and friends. This fuel scarcity and traffic doesn’t have part 2, but we will still have a great time this holiday season because we choose to not let our spirit be down. I have a Christmas gift for you towards the end of this post

We are almost at the end of this series, and I’m very happy I went through with it. Without much talk, here goes my labour experience.

I always thought that when labour contractions start at home before you go to the hospital, the woman will be screaming and sweating and rolling on the floor, then she will stop and then start again. Or at least, if she doesn't scream, she will at least be moaning in pain

So continuing from last edition, when my labour started, I only knew because my contractions became more frequent. When the castor oil kicked in the contractions, I kept walking to and fro in a straight line in the living room for 2 hours and watching tv at the same. When the timing between contractions shortened, I knew I was definitely in labour. And when my mucus plug came out sometime later when I was on the phone, I knew there was no question about it. I casually said to the guy I was talking to on the phone

“I’m going into labour. You are the only one who knows now. Don’t tell the others yet. I will be a mother by this time tomorrow, and I will send you guys the picture of the baby.”

The guy was like “Oh wow, okay… congratulations.” I’m sure he must have been confused about what to say to me and how to respond because one minute we were discussing, and the next thing, I tell him I’m in labour, and then we keep discussing like nothing happened.  

After this time, I wanted to stay back home for one more hour just to be sure especially since I didn’t want to be charged for false labour at the hospital. I guess because I wasn’t screaming and rolling all over the floor, I didn’t want to take it too serious but my mum convinced me that it was time to go to the hospital. It was when I got into the car that I realised the reason I wasn’t feeling so much pain even though the contractions were very real.

I had gone through this process before but more severe and painful when I had the red degeneration of fibroid, so my pregnancy contractions were like child’s play compared to it.

Before I left for the hospital, I left a message for my husband about the development. My mother later said I shouldn’t have done that, so that I would just come out of nowhere and surprise him with a baby, lol. Apparently, she was just about to find out that my husband and I are gossip buddies number 1, and found it hard to keep things from each other. When I got to the hospital, the first nurse I met kept looking at me with suspicion like “girllll, you can’t be in labour right now.”

She kept asking questions “when is your due date, how severe is your pain, when was the last time you experienced contraction/pain?”

All I heard was “yeah right! Labour indeed. Madam, go home and don’t waste my time. You are not in labour.”

Anyway, she examined me. I expected that I was going to be about 1cm or 2cm dilated. My people, I was 5cm gone!
I was shocked. Apparently, I had been in labour for a very long time, and I didn’t even know. I filled some forms, and was then wheeled to the delivery ward, and they started the whole pre delivery procedure on me, while monitoring my contractions and the baby’s heart rate. I must say that the nurses who attended to me at the delivery ward were angels.

While waiting to keep dilating, they kept doing loads and loads of paperwork, and preparing me for the delivery process. I later got an epidural even though I wasn’t screaming my head out

1 hour later – I was still 5cm. 2 hours later, I was still 5cm, 3 hours, 4 hours, 5 hours, still 5cm. So far I wasn’t going to have CS, I wasn’t worried. My mum kept sighing and looking worried, and I kept telling her it would be fine since the nurses said it was common in first time deliveries.

They later moved me from lying on my back to my left side to see if the contraction would be better. I couldn’t move again because the epidural had kicked in. By this time, the doctor had broken my water and the nurse had inserted a catheter inside me. They also moved me to my right side, still nothing.

All these while, my husband was on whatsapp video call with us. In fact, everyone in the labour ward knew him, and were laughing with him. He knew all the nurses by name. We were gisting about so many things, such that it was hard to believe we were actually going to be parents in a few hours. He kept singing for me, and I had to basically force him to go to bed because it was pretty late in Nigeria and I was getting really tired.

The attending nurse later put an oxygen mask on me, in order to agitate the baby, I guess. And it worked because one hour later, I was 9cm gone, and they started preparing me for delivery. Suddenly, more nurses appeared in my room. I started hearing the clangs of several scary tools. My mum left the room because she couldn’t stand the whole sight of blood, babies and expanded vaginas, lol.

Next thing, the nurse said I should start pushing. Because of the epidural, I couldn’t feel myself pushing even though I was almost popping the veins in my head. I only knew I was applying pressure in my chest region. But the nurse and doctor said I was pushing just fine, so that’s all that mattered.

She would ask me to push three times in intervals of 10 counts. She would go 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10… stop and we would go through this process thrice. All, in all, we went through this cycle about 8 times, meaning I pushed about 24 times. And my push was about 20 – 30 minutes.

For me, this is a major testimony as a first time mum because many people say for their first time, they pushed for hours about 6 hours to even over 24 hours. The worst is that even after some women push for so long, they still went through caesarean section. So I thank God because I know I am not better than them.

During the process of pushing, I was informed that they would need to do an episiotomy on me (more on this next edition) because I was too small, and they didn’t want the baby to tear me by himself lest it doesn’t tear well. I wasn’t sure I had any choice in the matter so I agreed of course. When the doctor came in, he prepared himself, tore me, and I continued pushing.

Once the baby’s head was out, I pushed a bit more, and the doctor used forceps to draw the baby out. He cut the umbilical chord, and immediately dumped the creature on me, and it felt like he dropped a lifeless lizard or big rat on me. I didn’t hear any sound for some seconds.

I had been expecting those loud baby wails we see in movies and delivery videos but when the sound finally came, all I heard was a tiny sound was almost hard to hear if one didn’t listen well. it sounded twice, and that was the end. They took the baby from on top of me, and went to clean him up. It was then I realised why so many nurses had come into my room when I was about to deliver. They were taking time and different records of the baby.  

When the baby was cleaned up, my mum raised him and showed him to me, and I thought “Mehn, this baby is ugly.” I later told my mum this, and she said he is actually a very fine baby. Apparently, 5 minutes old baby are always ugly, and I wasn’t cutting mine some slack. It was later I realized that my son was actually a very fine boy, and eye-turner, lol.

My son when he was five minutes old

At 8 minutes old, with a funny looking head

At 15 minutes old

At 30 minutes old, when his head had started 'rearranging' and he started looking
handsome, lol.

I was asked to breastfeed the baby, given some apple juice, and then wheeled to the postpartum ward, really tired and sleepy.