I almost married the wrong person

As young adults, we are most probably familiar with the fact that many disappointments are blessings in disguise. Yesterday, an incident flashed through my mind that made me remember this, and just smile.

Two Decembers ago, when I had accepted that I wasn’t being as sociable as I should be, thereby making me open to matchmaking as a means of making up for the resulting consequences of my ‘socialless’ life, my friend invited me to go with her siblings and their friends for paint balling.

I was friends with her siblings too, so it wasn’t a strange gathering for me. Her brother, who was the main organiser brought some of his friends, who also brought their friends, siblings, in-laws, etc. It was basically a cool gathering of working class adults who wanted to have fun in a sane atmosphere… and a place where you should be able to meet one or two eligible bachelors, lol.

We got there, settled down, and I noticed one of his friends was looking at me from time to time. Bad news was that he brought a girl to the gathering. The boy was what you would call ‘very finnnnneeeee’ – Tall, not really dark, and very handsome. The girl was mixed race, and extremely beautiful. However, she scowled throughout the duration of the event. She stayed alone, and didn’t talk to a single soul. From time to time, this guy would go to sit with her, say some words to her, just to make conversation, and she would scowl even more. We didn’t know the exact relationship between them.

Anyway, the paint balling was over, we had snacks, and left. When she dropped me at home, she suggested that she could hook me up with the guy in question (who is actually her childhood friend). I told her I noticed the guy looked at me from time to time. We talked about the mixed race girl, and laughed at her terrible attitude.

My friend told me about the guy, and his family. I did my own little research on the guy on social media, and he seemed like someone I would like to know more, and date – cool headed, good family, Christian, calm, etc.

Two weeks later, my friend gave me feedback about the situation. Mr Man was really serious about Miss Mixed Race, and was about to take it to the next level with her. So, nothing for me, sorry. To say that I was pained was an understatement.

Exactly a year later, I was at a hotel, taking my professional engagement pictures. We moved to the lounge for more picture taking. There was a guy sitting there, who we had to beg to change his position, so we could get an angle we were aiming for in the picture. He gladly obliged.

It was then I noticed his trousers, and then his face. It was the same trousers he wore when I met him. There were some features that made it unique, which made it easy for me to recognise it anywhere. I looked at him again, and then called him by name.

I asked if he remembered me, and he said I was familiar. It was really strange, with me all in my engagement attire, chatting up this guy looking casual like he was just coming from the gym. I reminded him of who I was, and how and where we met. He then asked what was exactly was happening, why I was all dressed up, and taking pictures. It seemed like the most stupid question ever to me. Wasn’t it obvious? I told him I was getting married, and just taking pictures.

The guy was somewhere beside me in this picture

I told my friend about the encounter. I then found out that it never worked between him and the mixed race lady (big surprise?), and he could be slow and sluggish at times… and basically hadn’t made much of a progress in the space of that one year when I met him, and when I met him again.

I later pondered on this ‘coincidence’, how on December 2015, I meet a guy whom if I had been given the chance, I would have jumped ship with, and November 2016, while getting married, I see, basically doing nothing. So if I had gotten my wish then, I probably would have jumped in and then out, and wouldn’t have met the guy I eventually got married to.

I personally think that second meeting wasn’t a coincidence. It was just God’s way of reminding me/us that sometimes, when we don’t get that thing that we think is good for us, it is because there’s something better awaiting us, and our ‘wish’ was never in God’s plan for us in the first place.

What do you think about this? Has something like this ever happened to you… you missing out on something, only to find out it was a blessing in disguise?


  1. Actually yes, I lost an opportunity for a job but got called back to interview for. A higher role which I got and my not getting the initial one made perfect sense in hindsight thought I was so disappointed at the time.

    You sound kind of condescending in this post. Everyone is on a journey, learn to be kind. Her attitude may have been terrible but do you if she had had a shitty experience prior to coming to that location. Also we measure progress by different yardsticks in life and you didn't have to put the brother down that way


    1. Wow. Didn't mean to sound that way. I think it's about perspective. This post is really not about that guy and the girl, but the fact that I was never supposed to be in that equation at all, even though I longed for it... without knowledge of the full picture.

      The guy is actually really cool, but our destinies have nothing to do with each other, in that sense.

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  3. What is to be will be.
    The fact that he was constantly gazing at you while he is with another he "supposedly" serious about is a red flag. I would say you dudged that bullet. No woman wants a man with a wondering eye. Or with lack of descretion to be decreet about that jingling eye.

    1. Hmm... you have a point here. Never thought of it that way.

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  5. I think that every one of us someday met a wrong person. But I think that there is no such thing as 'wrong' person. Every person, no matter how bad he was, teaches us something. No, i'm not saying that they become less 'wrong' but II'm telling you that this is wrong to think that you wasted time of that you mush be better in choices. Nah, you was right. By the way, I saw this idea for the firs time at the http://flashessay.strikingly.com/


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