African Naturalistas is here

Picture from The gloss

Good day ma peeps. As some of you know, I mentioned starting a natural hair blog to some bloggers some months back. The blog is to focus on core Africans as most natural hair blogs focus more on black Americans, and you and I know that what they call natural hair is different from what we call natural hair, as ours is harder to maintain

A lot of mental planning has gone into this blog, as people that know me well know that once I decide to do something, I put my all into it, as I am a very passionate person. I won’t like to start something I can’t keep up with or continue.

Anyway, my intention was to start the blog next year because I thought that is the time I will have time to dedicate to it, but for some reasons I can’t go into, I started now. I have written posts that can last me about four months so putting up posts won’t be an issue this year at all. At least, I have two posts up already

So for all African natural hair carriers, those that just cut off their relaxed hair and those thinking of transitioning to natural hair, those who have friends in these categories mentioned, I welcome you to African Naturalistas. Please visit the blog, follow and inform your other African friends who will find this blog helpful. It promises to very insightful and educative. See you all there. Thanks

P.S: I have read from some blog posts that there is currently a ‘Team natural’ vs. ‘Team relaxer’ war going on. I have never witnessed this, as natural hair isn’t really common in Nigeria. I personally think the war is not needed, as everyone has reasons why they carry their hair the way they do. I am in no way promoting this 'war' with this blog. I just want to help people with difficulties, since people always ask me how I 'do it'

P.S.S: I do not plan to abandon this blog for one moment, it gave me a platform for writing and I looovvveee it, so don't think for once that I am going anywhere.

I am going to maintain separate identities on both blogs, even the username will be different, but it’s still the same face, as I am not an anonymous blogger.

Please, help!

Good day people, please, I need your help. I have not been able to see the follower gadget on any blog, including mine, for almost a month. I also cannot view my followers using the link on my dashboard. I am not talking of and on o, I am saying this gadget is permanently not showing at all, the space for it on my blog is just blank.

I can't view my followers and I can't follow new blogs I discovered. I also noticed that the number of followers the link on my dashboard is currently showing me has been constant since the time I started experiencing this problem, which would is unusual under normal circumstances. I just want to know the following

1. Am I the only one experiencing this, or has anyone been experiencing the same?

2. If everything is fine with your blog, can you see the follower gadget on my blog?

3. If you have experienced this problem in the past, how did you solve it?

Thank you very much as you join hands in helping a blogsister out.

CARRY THE SONG... CARRY THE SOUND!

Hi people, how’s everything? As bloggers that know me a bit must have noticed, I don’t like to trend-blog and I don’t like to complain. I am not one person that will complain about marriage, the situation of things in Nigeria, etc. it doesn’t mean I am not faced with the realities of the many problems we have, but I believe no one has a right to complain if we don’t have suggestions for solutions. I know many bloggers have suggestions about solutions, like I have read on different blogs, but I still would not complain. I have chosen to face the other direction and see differently, that is my own personal choice and I think I have a right to make it.

Even if my government has chosen not to do the right thing…. Nigeria has a great future

Even if the Boko Haram issue is not being resolved fast… Nigeria has a great future

Even if it seems corruption has spread like a cancer through every nook and cranny of the nation… Nigeria has a great future

Even if the power issue doesn’t seem to have headway yet… Nigeria has a great future

Even if *insert however Nigeria is frustrating you*… Nigeria has a great future

Yeah, I said it. If you don’t like my optimism in the face of harsh realities, if you think I am just going on the ‘wishful thinking’ path, well that is the way you choose to see it. As for me, I choose to look the other direction.

The truth is that we are where we are because we have options. A politician has headache, they fly him out of the country. As for most politicians’ kids and rich people’s kids, they all school abroad. The main thing is that people are choosing the other options that will not let the country develop. Choosing these other options are not bad, but take all the options away and you will be amazed at how fast the country will develop. When we fail to develop our country for selfish reasons and greed, because we have looted all the country’s money and can afford to take care of our family of six, then there is fire on the mountain.

In the mean time, don’t say Nigeria is finished, don’t give up on us because we are just starting. As for me, I am not going anywhere because I have nowhere to go, so I have no choice but to root for the only country and only home I have, before some bad leaders pull the rug under my feet.

Till the time we have no option, when the time we have nowhere else to run, till we have nowhere else to go… the future is here

As for those who agree with me, I beg you to CARRY THE SONG… CARRY THE SOUND!

This post was inspired by TY Bello’s ‘The future’. I think all Nigerians have to listen to this, if they haven’t. Okay, I am on my knees, begging, please watch the video below. Thanks



TY Bello - The Future from Kemi Adetiba on Vimeo.

The Second First Impression.

I hope this post wouldn’t sound like ranting to you. How many of us have totally written people off because of the first impression they made on us? We don’t even bother to give them a second chance, we just conclude that nothing good can come out of them.

On my 18th birthday, I realised that I don’t make good first impressions. I was celebrating with my close friends. Noticed I said CLOSE friends. Most of us were in ministry together. There is this thing we normally do on each other’s birthdays. We talk briefly about the celebrant. This was the general review on my birthday, ‘when I first met @ilola, I thought she was like A…. Now I know her better, she is like B…’ Every single person said this, I mean every single soul, including the then boyfriend. It was then I thanked God for second chances. So this is how I wouldn’t have had friends, abi?

I was so surprised, these are the people that will always tell me I am funny, nominate me as most friendly and basically tell me how weird I am at times. I never knew that this people did not ‘gbadun’ me at first. In my much adult life, when I started working, some people just felt my personality was a mystery and they decided to ‘figure me out’. After about 3 months, they gave up and called me an enigma, which is where I got the name from. It also inspired an old post of mine, you can check it out through this link.

But seriously, don’t we all need to be given a chance to make a second first impression on a few people? Sometimes, some people catch us when we are in our elements, which might be good or bad and some people are just hard to please. But when everyone has the same story to tell, just like in my case about us, then water don pass gari be that.

If I have made a bad first impression on you, please, give me a chance to make a ‘Second First Impression’, I promise you will be pleased. After all, that is what God sent his son to do. He gave us a chance to make another impression on him. If you got that chance, I deserve that chance too and so do others.

So much Drama...

Hello, blog friends, I first of all want to apologise for my inconsistency in visiting and commenting on your blogs this past few days. So many things have been happening the past few weeks, but I still determined to visit blogs everyday,

July 10: OH and I held back in flood on sunday and did not get home till July 11. We had to go back to his parents house to sleep. I so hated it, just because I love my bed and was not prepared to sleep out. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

July 13: OH and I were robbed while climbing 3rd mainland bridge when coming from church in the evening. Please, note that the flood thing also happened after we left church for his parents house o. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

July 15: I won the community champion award at my company's AGM. (A ray in the dark). I kept blogging and visiting blogs

All the time: I kept working on two very engaging jobs, one was my official job while the other was the job I won the award above for. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

All the time: I kept organising a reunion, and kept making hundreds of calls like a customer care officer. I chased money and souvenirs. This particular task threatened to pull me apart for the past 5 weeks. The reunion is coming up this saturday, so it will soon be over. I kept blogging and visiting blogs

(Picture from HD Leader)

July 23: THE FINAL STRAW- My laptop crashed! Really? As in Really? After everything, you just had to crash, yes I am talking to you laptop. All the details of my two jobs, reunion, write-ups, poems etc, are on you and you had to dull me. At this point, I coudn't keep blogging and visiting blogs anymore.

So my people, even though I decided that I wouldn't be a blog-snob anymore and I decided to be blog-friendly, I just had to take a chill pill. What the flood, robbers, jobs or reunion couldn't get me to do, a simple crash made me cool down. The good news is that the laptop belongs to my company, so I took it back to them and even though the drive was fried, I recovered all my documents.

As for my last post, My Son's Wife, it has nothing to do with me. I have no problem with OH's mum, we are cool with each other, so Myne and Adura Ojo, don't fret.

My Daddy is Samson... not!

Remember the post where I related my talkative stories and how I embarrased my mum all the time? Check this link if you missed it. Well, one thing I deliberately left out is that I argued a lot because I wanted to do this sequel. Sorry for keeping you out of the loop, lol. I could argue with anything or anyone, so far I was convinced that I was right. I still argue now, but the difference then was that I always argued blindly, even with my parents.

What made it worse was that my dad was an expert at fabricating stories and always painting them to me as real. And you know, to a first daughter, her father could do no wrong. On a particular day, this is what went on in my house when I was about five years old. I really don't know how the conversation started but it was something about a lion dying.

@iola: No one has ever killed a lion, only Samson in the bible has killed a lion.

I naively thought Samson was the only man that had killed a lion, I did not put it rightly that Samson was the only man that had killed a lion with his bare hands, since the bible says David killed a lion when he was protecting his father’s sheep.

Dad: what her you talking about, how can you say only Samson has killed a lion?

@ilola: Well, that is what the bible says that only Samson is strong enough to ever kill a lion.

And so we kept arguing back and forth. Remember, I am five years old and my dad is 33 years old in this scenario.

Dad: See you this small girl, I have killed a lion before

@ilola: (wide eyed) It is a lie!

Dad: It is true, I am the second man that has killed a lion.

@ilola: It is a big lie!

Dad: See this small girl (he loved saying this a lot), instead of you to ask how I killed it, you are arguing

@ilola: Oya tell me.

Dad: One day, I was walking in the bush and a lion came out of nowhere and started walking towards me. It was roaring at me, so we faced each other and I brought out my spear and threw it straight into the open mouth of the lion and it died instantly.

@ilola: Wooooowwww!!!

I must tell you, by this time, I had ‘chopped’ my dad's ‘fabu’ hook, line and sinker.

Later that day, I was talking to my mum, she is 32 yrs old in this scenario

@ilola: Mummy, do you know that dad has killed a lion before?

Mum: (casting an annoying glance at me) Who told you that? You are not serious, how can your dad kill a lion?

@ilola: It is true, he killed a lion, he threw a spear straight into its mouth and it died.

Mum: it is a lie, he has not killed a lion before

@ilola: He has killed a lion, you just don’t’ know but I know

And so the argument ensued between my mum and I. I argued and argued and argued

Mum: Get out of here, you like to argue blindly!

Are you guys still reading? Well, it was not my fault, I truly believed my dad had killed a lion…

Below is a picture of my dad and I some months after he told be the lion story. He told me he was celebrating my 6th birthday because it was some weeks after my birthday. Little did I know that the get-together was for his Masters graduation. He later consoled me, saying that the celebration was for both of us. *smh

 
P.S: I am dedicating this post to my dad. Today is his 6th year remembrance. He was brutally murdered in cold blood on 16 July 2005, story for another day. However, I wouldn't want you to pity me because God has really been good to me and my family these past six years. So I would really appreciate it if your comments revolve round his murdering the lion and you thanking God for keeping me this far.

If I were a Boy

I know Lady NGO had done a post on this, but the truth is that I already had this in draft and considered publishing it after hers. I finally decided to go ahead since our posts are different

When I was younger, I used to wish I was a boy and at some point, I was a tom boy but later I wholly embraced being feminine.

Over some time in my years on earth, I have noticed some characters in me which has made me conclude that God did me a big favour by not creating me as a male. It would have been a disaster. In the days I used to wish I were a boy, I would say ‘If I were a boy, I would have been a very fine boy and girls will be tripping all over for me’. Now I know that if I were a boy...

I would have been a womanizer

This is because even as a woman, I love seeing beautiful and nicely shaped women. When I see a great figure, I look twice. Don’t think too far, I am not a lesbian and I am not physically attracted to women. I just like the way women are shaped. If not that I have a great figure myself, I would have driven myself to depression. When I entered the university, there was this very beautiful girl I saw, to me she was the most beautiful woman I ever met. Again, there was this N20 hand made mini cards they used to sell then, there was one which said ‘omo, you too fine’. Guess what? I bought this card and gave the girl. I then told all my friends that I bought the card. Some people were like ‘why did you buy it? She will think you are a lesbian.’ I was really surprised at the statement, because to me, I was just being sincere. I must have being really naïve I was only sixteen years old. If I could do this as a girl, imagine what I would have done as a man.

I would have been egocentric

Men are naturally egocentric, but I think mine would have been more than average. I like standing by my opinions and I can be overly assertive at times. I am strong-willed and once I have determined to do something, only God can change my mind. If I were a man, I probably would not listen to my wife. Thank God for making me a woman

I would not respect women

Even as a woman, I think a lot ladies are fickle, shallow and materialistic. Back in school, I used to have a lot of male friends. You wouldn’t blame me since I was in the department of Electrical and Electronics Engineering. Bottom line is that I did not like the way most ladies carried themselves and I did not think they had a lot to offer. Coupled with being egocentric, I would have been a disaster waiting to happen if I were a man.

I would have been incorrigible

This is where my mum and I have disagreements. As I said earlier, as long as I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, it is always very difficult for me to be corrected. The truth is that when someone cannot be corrected, the person is already going on a fast lane to his grave

I wouldn’t love God this much

If I were a man, I would be more ambition driven than I am. With the kind of brain God gave me, I am sure I would have been very successful as a man and a serious ‘high flyer’. This will have made me rely more on my own abilities than on God, which is the case of a lot of men today. And if I don’t see the need for God, why should I love Him?

In conclusion, I thank God for creating me as a woman. I thank Him all over again. The truth is that even as a woman, I had a lot of bad traits, just like everyone but overtime I have been broken and remoulded by God. I am still a work in progress but the amount on work God has done on me now might not have been this effective if I were a boy!

P.S: I would have blogged about how I left my house by 6am on sunday morning and got back home by 2pm on Monday due to the Lagos flood but I don't like 'trend-blogging'. I might just gist you guys some other time. Who knows?

No be me...

Lately, I have come to realize the importance of education and God's grace in this life. I know a lot of people with whom I grew up in the same area and now the difference between them and I is as clear as crystal, just because they only managed to finish secondary school either due to laziness or lack of funds. Many of them opted to learn a trade while some just stayed at home. I am so thankful to God that my parents gave me an opportunity to go to school. When our parents used to tell us to work hard when we were young, we thought they were being too harsh but now we know better.

Some other people furthered their education but went to colleges of education and polytechnics. It is a sad reality that Nigerian employers still discriminate against graduates from the aforementioned institutions. Some also finished from universities, but managed to finish with pass. So secondly, I thank my parents for making sure I went to university and I thank God for giving me the grace to finish with good results.

Some people went to universities and finished with average results but could not get a good job on time or at all, maybe because they could not pass job aptitude tests or could not defend their results or for whatever reasons that I cannot explain. The standard of education has really fallen in Nigeria. Only the federal universities are seriously trying to maintain good standard of education, but the peanuts the government is paying lecturers is not making it easy for them at all. Anyway, for this, I thank God for giving me a good paying job immediately after graduation.

I have been thinking of writing this post for a while, but what made me actually take the step is that I went to the office canteen sometime back and I looked up, only to see a former neighbour of mine. He was a classmate of my senior brother in primary school and we always came back home from school together. He later went to a boarding secondary school, I think he went to one of those eastern universities or polytechnics, I am not sure. Niways, we greeted each other well and I asked if he was working in the canteen, to which he replied in the affirmative. You see, he was working for the caterer and was about to pack the plates that my colleagues used to eat when I saw him. Here I was, a 'professional' in my own field being served and cleared after by my old school mate. Now, it is clear that it is just because of God’s grace that I am where I am right now but sometimes I fail to thank God.

I just thank God for his grace and mercy and for elevating me, because it is not by my power but by the Spirit of the Lord.