Journey to Marriage 3 - It was not Love at First Sight

Berry told me outrightly that our outing wasn't a date. It was just an opportunity for me to meet the someone. Even if I wanted to get excited, her constant warning wouldn't allow me. She asked me to pick the movie, and all was settled.

Berry did not give me a single information about this person. Not his  name or what he does.
Time and time again, I wanted to ask her for the tribe of this someone but held back. I was going to tell her that if he's not Yoruba, she shouldn't bother cos my mum would not endorse intertribal marriage. I didn't think cakes would have Yoruba friends knowing he didn't grow up in Lagos. What prevented me from asking Berry were the following

1. I didn't want Berry to see me as backward and tribalistic (I'm not. I just wasn't ready to start arguing with my mum because of a man, especially when we were told as kids that we could only marry Yoruba)

2. If I asked and he wasn't Yoruba, I would miss my first date for the year and might not meet my monthly goals

3. I assumed Berry should know that I was a Yoruba girl and therefore would be with only Yoruba guys.

4. Something kept telling me not to ask everytime the thought came to my mind.

Of all these reasons, number 2 was the strongest. I just needed to meet my goals

I went straight from vigil to a meeting. I felt my hair wasn't neat enough so my pastor's wife helped me tie a scarf I assumed was stylish. From my meeting, I went to the cinema in the evening, where Berry and cakes were already waiting, as the movie had started.

Cakes took me in, and the someone wasn't there. I expected him to be there cos I was already late. My heart sank but I couldn't bring myself to ask Berry why he didn't come cos I wasn't ready for her scolding. Cakes went to get my popcorn and later he was on the phone with the someone. I peeped at his screen and saw his name.

My heart sank. I don't know what he was, but he definitely wasn't Yoruba. What a waste of time. Right there and then, I decided to just concentrate on the movie and go home. The 'date' that wasn't a date was over before it even had the chance to start.

About 15 minutes later, someone walked towards us and sat near me. Berry and cakes did the proper introductions. He had hair, loads and loads of it. He was a fine boy and had a great speaking voice. But all that didn't matter anyway.

He was not Yoruba!

I offered him my popcorn which he declined. And that basically was it. I watched the remainder of the movie in silence, not saying a word. I wanted everything to end so I could go back to my father's house, never repeating such stupidity again. Thankfully, the movie was very engaging so it took my mind of my worries

He was one of those guys who joke loudly with their friends in the cinema hall, who you just want to tell "shut up." I roll my eyes internally at their kind.

When the movie was over, we all walked to my car so Berry could get her hair products. Berry kept talking and talking about me and my spoken word, how I have traveled all over the world, when next I'm traveling, just making unnecessary small talk that I wasn't down with. Cakes made me take off my high sandals to finally settle the beef between Berry and I about who was taller.

How Berry bullies me whenever we are together.

#merrychristmas to you from @berrydakara and I. Someone in this picture is not alright, and that person isn't me. #happyholidays #jesusisthereasonfortheseason

A photo posted by WordsByAtilola.com (@hattylolla_) on Dec 26, 2015 at 6:19am PST

After Berry and cakes were tired of small talk, they left us together. He collected my number (just to fulfill all righteousness). I drove home without any hopes. About 30 minutes after I got home, he called me when he got home (to fulfill all righteousness). The call lasted for 20 seconds

I did the strangest thing. I got down on my knees and said "lord I met someone today and he's not Yoruba. Lord let your will be done."

Right at that very moment was the last time I ever put it in mind that he wasn't Yoruba. Almost 20 years of sentiments went up in smoke that very moment.

What do you think about intertribal marriage in Nigeria? Even though you might not be tribalistic, is it something you can engage in?