The Honeymoon is over!

A friend of mine told me about a male friend of hers who, after the honeymoon period in his marriage, his wife asked him to do something for her and he replied my telling her, ‘look here lady, the honeymoon period is over!’ That single statement almost shattered the marriage and he had to spend four good years convincing the wife that nothing would change in their marriage.

A somewhat similar thing happened to me, I was chatting with a ‘friend’ online and I told him that I missed him, he then replied saying ‘but we talked yesterday’. I felt like cold water had been poured on me, I couldn’t express myself freely from then on. Incidentally, a male friend of mine was beside me when all this online drama took place. So after I logged off, I kept ‘raking’ for the friend beside me about the whole thing, guess what he said, ‘@ilola, the honeymoon is over’. He asked me if I expected my friend to treat me like we were just starting a relationship and is still trying to impress me. He went further to say that my friend’s statement proved that the relationship between my friend and I had moved to a more serious stage. Many of us will agree with him but I consider the whole theory to be jargons.

In most cases, the man sets out to get a wife or girlfriend, does all he can to impress her, he becomes the most loving guy on earth and then after the honeymoon period, he says to himself, ‘my work here is finally done’ and then he changes totally.

Some people say this is reality but it doesn’t have to be. If you can’t keep the fire that was burning in your courtship to still be burning in your marriage, then the whole marriage thing becomes another boring aspect of life that we have to face. This sometime leads to couples growing apart, separation or even divorce.

We know there are more commitments in marriage than courtship like the kids, career, etc but it is very ironic since your spouse is the main reason you took on these commitments in the first place. Consequentially, you end up losing the interest of that person or losing that person totally.

If your marriage is lacking fire, ignite the sparks by doing those things you did during courtship, it might seem strange at first but with time, you will get used to it again. For newly weds young marriages and people in courtship, never ever have that ‘ The Honeymoon is over’ mentality. Be creative, find new ways to make the marriage fun and most importantly, keep the fire burning.