Ageing Gracefully

Considering the title of this post, one might be tempted to think the blog writer is in the 50s or 60s which is not the case here. I just decided to write about one of the phobias that I have not dealt with.

All through my year in school (from primary till the end of university), I have always been the youngest in class. Sometimes, it felt good, sometimes, it felt bad. I remember someone teasing me seriously towards the end of high school which made me to make up my mind not to let classmates know my real age. From then on, I started lying about my age. I started by adding 3 yrs to it, then later, I added 2 yrs and finally reduced it to 1 yr. it got to a point that I didn’t even know my age anymore. Anyways, later my friends got to know the truth one way or the other.

The irony is that now, I feel like reducing my age, as I celebrate any birthday, I realize that I am getting older(which was what I wanted initially), but I want to be young forever and this makes me sigh. When I was 21, I wanted to be 21 forever, when I became 22, I wanted to be 22 forever which is not possible.

I greatly suspect that this feeling is not peculiar to me alone, most people go through this but happiness will only come when we learn to face reality and age gracefully. I have not yet found that happiness and this reminds of a particular poem that goes thus…

It was spring, but it was summer I wanted-
The warm days, and the great outdoors.
It was summer, but it was fall I wanted-
The colourful leaves and the cool, dry air.
It was fall, but it was winter I wanted-
The beautiful snow, and the joy of the holiday season
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted-
The freedom and the respect.
I was 20 but it was 30 I wanted-
To be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was 20 I wanted-
The youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age I wanted-
The presence of mind, without limitations.
My life was over,
But I never got what I wanted.

-Jason Lehman