Destination Wedding Blues - Day 2: Getting the MRS degree

My wedding day started as an ordinary but exciting day. My plan was to have breakfast, and then have my hair styled. By the time I was having breakfast, my pastor's wife 'A', looked at my nails and asked what I was doing to it. I said 'nothing', so she dragged me off to do a manicure and pedicure. Though I didn't fix my nails because it's something I have never done, I got it painted in the french tips style.

This unplanned manicure and pedicure session set me 2 hours behind time. By the time I was ready to take my bath and make my hair, it was already noon, and we were supposed to start taking professional pictures by 4.00pm, since the wedding was to start by 6.00pm.

I wrote my vows during the manicure session (covers face). Let's just say after we read our vows that evening, I wanted to cover my eyes in shame, cos I scored like 2% and by husband (who has been writing the vows for a couple of months) scored like 110%. I also couldn't join the choreography rehearsals that morning

Most of our guests... gathering to pray and rehearse on
the morning of the wedding day
Anyway we rushed off to do my hair, and makeup. We couldn't be ready by 4.00pm, but we were set by around past 5.00pm.

We finally started the photography session, which was supposed to be at the beach, poolside, and garden. As a group, we could only do beach. But we as a couple also did poolside, and just a little garden.

Destination Wedding Blues - Day 1: Dance, decor, food, et al

I had intended to go to Gambia two days before everyone would come to join me so
  • I could meet with the vendors
  • Run through the whole wedding arrangement with the hotel's management
  • Arrange airport pickup for our guests
  • Get guests' rooms ready, and put their welcome packs on their beds.

Thanks to Arik, not only did I not get to the venue two days before the wedding retreat, I got there one day after the wedding should have started, so we lost a whole day's activities.

For one reason or the other, we had not concluded on decor, DJ, and makeup artist. The hotel's management was acting as a go between to get all these sorted, but we still had to make sure they delivered what we wanted.

In the plane... enroute Gambia

How my destination wedding almost got ruined

Hey guys, how's everything? Merry Christmas, and happy new year in advance. It feels so good to be back, even though I have just been gone for a week. It feels like I abandoned the blog forever. I really tried to blog last week, but the Internet where I was is a mess on all levels. My husband told me to just chill for that week, cos everyone would 'understand' why I missed the post.

So our destination wedding was a success in every aspect... except one. I have decided to do a series of posts about our destination wedding, destination weddings in general, and share a few tips on how to pull one off.




Firstly, I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who sent their wishes. Thank you very much for all your comments and kind words. I really appreciate them, from the bottom of my heart.

As for the wedding, we are back from the trip. If I could do it again, I would have had us stay longer... maybe till few days before new year.


The pictures did not tell lies at my Traditional Wedding

Hi guys, how are we all doing? Hope your holiday is going on strong. We are preparing for the final phase of the event happening this weekend.

The traditional wedding pictures are finally out. It was a great event. God came through for us in so many ways. Shout out to Major Works for capturing every single moment of the event. We got over 1200 pictures. Enjoy few of them.




Oh ma gosh... surprise surprise!

Hello everyone, how are we gearing up for the festive season, and rounding up 2017. I'm yet to put up a post about the traditional wedding, which was a great success, thank God. But for now, I don't have enough pictures to make a post out of it, so I want to wait a bit.

Yesterday, I planned to go out with BH, so we could clear out things on our to-do list. I was driving behind him, wondering where he was leading me to. We got to a restaurant, he led me to a private sitting. We opened the door, and right there, my date with BH came to an end before it even had the opportunity to statr.

Surprise surprise, it was my bridal shower.

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

I always think there's no way someone like me would have a bridal shower because my friends and not cohesive. So for them to find each other in different circles, and pull one for me... It seems so unbelievable. I'm still very shocked.

The theme of the event was afro, lol... to which some didn't adhere to.

Natural hair afro cake
This cake was made by Cakes (Berry's husband) factory, to think I was with Cakes the previous night, and he had this up his sleeves...


The enormous blessing of being single

Hello people, hope you are all doing well? I'm traditionally married now, and it was a success. We thank God. This post below is the final post I wrote as a single lady, and it's gaining massive read and shares all over the internet (I just heard it's even on Linda Ikeji, lol). Please read and share your opinions about it in the comment section.


I’m getting married tomorrow!

But that is not what this article is about because in as much as marriage is a good thing, and I am looking forward to what that phase holds in store for me, I am not under the illusion that my life would suddenly transform from that of dystopia to a life of utopia.

You see, almost all my friends are married, and I have asked most of them few months or years after marriage, that “Which is better, being single or being married?”

It is interesting to note that not a single one of them has been able to tell me conclusively that being married is better than being single. They all respond with the familiar lines of “It’s different. Marriage is good but it comes with its responsibilities. They all have their pros and cons.”

I’ve been single for all my life. Yes, it might not be a lengthy period of time in some people’s eyes, but it is far longer time than I intended to be single, especially considering the fact that I graduated at the age of 21, and have been financially independent since then.

And I would like to say something that an average young girl might never get to hear.

Oh gosh, I was forced to kiss a man + When does married sex become legitimate?

Hello people, what’s happening to everyone? Hope we are all good? So part 1 of the climax of journey to marriage happened last week. I’m still so excited, but it’s all surreal for me. I don’t think reality has dawned on me yet, lol.

We had to do a registry wedding because we are not doing a church wedding, since we opted for a destination wedding, though we have 2 officiating ministers following us outside Nigeria for the blessing.

Our experience at the registry was somewhat mixed. Getting married at the registry is not stressfull at all, though it is a mad cash cow out there, with everyone looking for ways to milk money out of you. At the end of the day, it was a success, and we thank God for that

Here are a few pictures from the event


I think soft colours look good on me.

The church and its lack of appreciation for Talents

When it comes to talent and its expressions, we all know that there’s a thin line between work and ministry. There has also always been the age old argument of whether people should charge for ministry work, or even be paid for it. One now begins to wonder why this argument comes up when it has to do with the church parting with money, cos it never comes up in the cooperate organisations.

Something happened to me, which made me think long and hard about this topic.

When it comes to my spoken word career, it is both ministry and work for me. Spoken word is the work I do, by which I use to minister directly to people. Unlike people like Janette…ikz and Ezekiel, I am not a Christian spoken word artist. I am a Christian who is a spoken word artist, and they are entirely different.

Just like a Christian who is an accountant, he is first a Christian before he is an accountant. Even when he stops being an accountant, he will keep being a Christian. He is expected to shine the light of Christ in his accountancy profession.

So even though I am not a Christian spoken word artist, it is always evident in my message that I am a Christian, because naturally, my values will be reflected in my message. Also, I organise spoken word and rap concerts that are Christian and kingdom driven, because that is my mandate for now. I also teach spoken word in church. I don’t train my students to become Christian spoken word artists, I simply train them to be spoken word artists. Whether they want to use their skill for evangelism, entertainment or social transformation, it is for them to determine. My own job ends at skills transference.

Because of my kind of message, I get invited to perform at all kinds of event… all kinds. The only kind I haven’t performed at yet is a funeral, and I am up for the challenge whenever it comes.
When I get invited, I state my fees, they pay, I rehearse and rehearse and rehearse. I perform and it ends… mostly in that cycle. If I don’t like the fees, I negotiate upwards or recommend someone else. On very few occasions, I perform for free.

So last week, based on the recommendation of a pastor, a lady invited me to perform at a church departmental end of the year party. I stated my fees, and we reached an agreement.

In the course of the next week, she ran into some personal issues, and some other woman took over. This person didn’t reach out to me on time, so I cancelled out the program from my schedule. Two days to the event, she called, and I made an allusion to the fact that I had almost changed my mind since I didn’t hear from her. We talked a bit more, and I agreed to come even though I’ll be under too much rehearsal pressure. I asked how far with the agreement for my fees, and she was like "what fees?"

She asked for the amount, and then I shouldn’t worry because she was under the impression that I was just coming to ‘bless them’. To say I was shocked was an understatement?

What if I had started working on their piece, which ideally, I should have cos she called 2 days to the event?

She didn’t even try to negotiate me down, or use the usual ‘please come down for us, it is the work of God, church has too many expenses’ line. She just expected me to come and do it for free.

She expected me to invest my time, my sweat, my brain, my saliva, and energy, fuel… for free.

Can you see something wrong with this thinking? And here is my reply for her and other church people who think this way. If you are one of them, please make sure you read well and well enough.

“First of all, I am not coming to bless you. I am coming to work, to do a job. In the process of my work, you will become blessed. If I am coming to sow, I know that's what I'm doing. If I'm coming to work, I know that's what I'm doing. You are not the one that will tell me to sow. I choose to sow when I want.”

When church ministries act this way, and don't want to pay, I don't take them seriously, and I don't go. It is not because I'm mean, greedy or I can't afford to do it for free. It is because in most cases, those people don’t really appreciate you, your art, the work you do, and the time you invest into churning out excellence. The value they place on you can be equated to how hairdressers treat hair lice.

I mean, they paid the caterer, decorator and other service providers, so why shouldn't I get paid? Is my work less important than theirs? Do you know how much intellectual work goes into creating an average piece, talk less of a good one?

Did they ask the caterer to bless them with their food? Of course not. They paid her because they understood the value of good food. No wonder the church loses its talent every day because the secular world never treats talents like this.

When the woman dropped, I didn’t feel bad. I was only sad because she was referred by someone I respect, and if that pastor should ever ask me, I will just show him this blog post.