Oh gosh, I was forced to kiss a man + When does married sex become legitimate?

Hello people, what’s happening to everyone? Hope we are all good? So part 1 of the climax of journey to marriage happened last week. I’m still so excited, but it’s all surreal for me. I don’t think reality has dawned on me yet, lol.

We had to do a registry wedding because we are not doing a church wedding, since we opted for a destination wedding, though we have 2 officiating ministers following us outside Nigeria for the blessing.

Our experience at the registry was somewhat mixed. Getting married at the registry is not stressfull at all, though it is a mad cash cow out there, with everyone looking for ways to milk money out of you. At the end of the day, it was a success, and we thank God for that

Here are a few pictures from the event


I think soft colours look good on me.







After signing, the asked us to kiss. I turned away, and give my husgand my cheeks. Then the official stood up, and gave me serious lecture, lol. So I had no choice but to kiss him... slightly... for like half a nanosecond, loooooollll.







I got a fine boy, right?



So all I can do is glow.


Part 1 is done and dusted. So now, we await part 2, the big trad wedding coming up this weekend. I don't know how it will go, but all I know is this... I am going to dance like never before, lol.

Also, there's always the controvery about sex. When is it legitimate to start having sex with your husband? 
  • As soon as you are legally bound but the laws of the land?
  • As soon as dowry has been paid traditionally, and family has given you away in the eyes of the public?
  • As soon as you have exchanged vows in the sight of God?

This question is assuming that you are doing all three.
It is different if your court is this week, and the wedding is next week. What if your court and white wedding is like 6 months apart, lol?


34 comments

  1. Lovely, you look great Atilola! Congratulations on this leg of the process. You're photographer was ready and on target in capturing the "half a nanosecond" of your kiss.

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  2. Waaaaoooohh... #Claps hand, Congratulations Atilola, U look so beautiful and the oga is foooine as well... You look good hunnie.. May God bless ur union abundantly... I think the sex should come after the dowry has been paid o.. By God's grace in nine months this flat tummy of Atilola shall produce quadruplets #Countdowntothetrad

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    Replies
    1. Haaaaaa, you have no chilll, lol. You don't want me to enjoy small? *wink*

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  3. Congratulations again! You look gooooood! I think the sex it for both of you to agree the one you want.
    After the court you are already married biko! I know a couple who already got pregnant from after the court then the church refused to marry them. Lol. The guy said His wife was following him home after the registry, no one could argue with him.

    My own church wedding was 2 weeks after so we decided to wait till after. Some other people after 6months... aint no body got time for that kinda waiting.

    P.s: This was the same guy that married us too. :)

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think it's always more dicey for people who have the weddings far apart.

      Lol at that guy.

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  4. Congratulations on the first leg of your wedding ceremony. I think you both can decide when it is best, you are legally married and will be traditionally married. But then if you are all religious, you can wait till the final leg.

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    Replies
    1. Thank youuu. I guess it's what the couple holds deares to heart.

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  5. Awww.finally the pictures. I am so happy for you.
    Yes! You got a fine boy.
    Yes! you glow.
    Yes! Soft colors look good on you.

    The faces smiling happily at the kiss Is so sweet.like Yes! Finally. Lol

    Congrats Atilola. As for your question, i think it all depends on you,and when you think the real marriage is.
    I remember that Berry asked a question like that a long time back on her blog.
    Lemme look for it.

    http://berrydakara.blogspot.nl/2013/08/on-sex-after-wedding.html

    I looked through and saw your comment lol. Funny right?

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    Replies
    1. Loooll. Thanks for searching this out. I guess we see things differently when it's not us in the situation. We have decided to wait till all three is done.

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  6. Pretty Lady! Congrats.

    As for the business of the wedding bed, I would imagine the when would be based on the reasons why you're abstaining in the first place.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm, I love the angle which you bring to it. I guess our reason is what is making us wait till the final lap.

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  7. You look beautiful!
    Loving your hair and dress.
    CONGRATULATIONS to both of you...and yes, he is a good looking :D





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    1. Oops! Strike of the 'a'.

      To your questions...hmm...in your own case, after the destination wedding.. that has been your focus. But after any of the process has been completed first, couples can have sex.

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  8. you look BEAUTIFUL

    congratulations and i hope the remaining festivities go as planned

    i wish ou and your guest safe travels

    and of course Happy married life to you and the MR

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  9. Beautiful!
    Congratulations Atilola!! So glad and excited for this new phase of your life... Iyawo Ibo :-D GO and Mama will be so happy!!! Lol
    Lots of love hun!! xxxx

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    Replies
    1. Lol, Of course, they are. Thanksss.

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  10. Congrats love! I've enjoyed reading all the bits of your story.
    God's blessings!

    www.KacheeTee.com

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  11. Congratulations Atilola!!!

    Looking so beautiful and yes your hubby is foine. all the hair.. your children sha..
    And the post title is funny.. the question posed too.. okay, lets let others answer. people like us are concentrating on holiness and for us it means abstaining.. so make we nor too think am. lol

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    Replies
    1. Looooollllll. Okay, others have answered. We have always wanted to wait till the final phase.

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  12. Congratulations Atilola.
    You glowed! Bros is fine!
    Everything was beautiful.
    I've seen you in bright colours and you rock them well too, just like you did this fabulous gown.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, thanks. Maybe I should start moving away from dark colours.

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  13. you look amazing and your hair is gorgeous. Congratulations Atilola.

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  14. Congrats dear, I wish you happy married life!

    As everyone has said, it depends on the couple...personally, I feel once you've done one (court oh, church/mosque oh, trad oh) you are joined because walking away means a divorce paper/return of dowry and or bride price and what have you. . .culture goes a long way into deciding cos most Yoruba's will accept the bride price at the introduction and Igbos will be doing church/white wedding after 4 kids. The general public does not really care when you have sex, not like it changes the price of gari in the market. Anyone who does is plain jobless in my honest opinion. Once again congratulations and feel free to indulge Mrs. . .

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    1. Loool at after 4 kids. Those are the real MVPs. Some aprokos care sha. They will be counting when you had sex once your stomach starts protruding.

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  15. PS i have helped you mark August 21st 2017. . .you're welcome!

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  16. I think right after the traditional rites have been done cos in the eyes of the family and customs you are legally married. Right after our introduction, my wife's family didn't care if she was sleeping at my place for days on end but I had to hold out till the wedding nite. In the final analysis, the timing really doesn't affect the outcome of a marital union. Adefemi

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    Replies
    1. True. In the end, it's the outcome of the union that matters.

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  17. First of all...congratulations (again...I started from the later posts). Secondly, you are serious hair goals! And you looked so stunning. You both make a beautiful couple. Why do you like falling hand tho? Why would you give him your cheek??? Sigh! Good for you that they made you kiss proper. If I were the officiant, I would have put a clock on it sef, say like 5 minutes, to teach you a lesson. Lol.

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  18. Love your dress, where is it from?
    Regarding the legitimacy question, I don't know o!

    Tuke's Quest

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What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.