So, what is the point?

Ok, so I decided to go to church on this particular Monday evening’s Singles Fellowship (the one where I met The Yuppy Sugar Daddy near), if you want to find out more about The Yuppy Sugar Daddy, click here. I sometimes find Singles Fellowship amusing because different people come for different reasons. Some people come to hear how to improve their relationships, some just came to learn. Some came to look for wives while many more came to look for husbands.


When I got there, they happened to be having prayer meeting because they had been fasting (I use ‘they’ because it is not the church I work with and attend on Sundays but I am a regular member). We were told to pray for the fear of God because one of the major problems Christians were having is that we don't fear God anymore and I was really convicted of this. Niways, a little while later, I was in the ladies washing my hands. Some lady comes in talking on the phone. She was telling the person on the other end that she was in church. She then said she will see the person soon since the service will end by 8.00pm.

I assumed she didn’t know that we were closing 8.30, I wanted to correct her so that she will not unknowingly stand someone up but decided to keep my mouth shut. She ended her call and as she was walking out, she turned up her nose at the phone (you know, the sign that says 'ode, I just deceived you’), I just stood there dumbfounded. I was just wondering, ‘Eeeh eehh, even right in church, she was lying’. She had just prayed about the fear of God. I just wondered... So, what is the point of the whole ‘church thing’?

An Irony

(Image from African American Elders Resource Directory)

Every morning, I go to work and a middle-aged man greets me and opens the gate for me. I get to my desk, a middle-aged woman walks past me and starts mopping the floor, another one comes to clean my desk. All the while, what do I do when I see these people? Do I just ignore them? No. I greet them, good morning, good morning. I realize that any of them could have been my Dad, Mum, Uncle or Aunt? It is such an irony of life, the elder serving the younger and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Or I could look at it this way, everyone is just doing his or her job. But can I really say it is as simple as that?

Do those elderly people really look at it like that? Funny thing is that two years from now, my career would have really progressed but those elderly people will still be at the same spot, talk about stagnancy. Where is the progression for them? Yes, they might have had a slight increase in income but nothing significant enough to change their status in life. I really don’t know what these people's stories are but whatever the case, is it really too late for those guys to do something to change their lot in life. From my myopic view, my answer is 'I don’t think so.

There are many great people who started late in life such and ended up successful. Examples are listed below

• Mary Kay, the famous cosmetics maker who started her business in 1963 at the age of 45.

• Harrison ford, the famous veteran actor was not a successful actor until the age of 34.

• Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, was 43 when he began drawing his legendary superheroes and his partner Jack Kirby was 44 when he created The Fantastic Four.

• Julia Child didn't even learn to cook until she was almost 40 and didn't launch her popular show until she was 50.

• Harlan Sanders, the Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, was 66 when he began to promote his style of cooking and create an empire.

I could go and on but the examples are just too many. Even if one doesn’t have an education, it is never too late to start. Nothing says that because one started late, one cannot succeed. Trying is in itself a form of succeeding. Succeed at valuing yourself and go for it!

If, as John Greenleaf Whittier says, the saddest words are "it might have been," the next saddest have to be "I should have tried."

On the Brink of Volatility

(Image courtsey of freddywinter)

Hi everyone, let me just go straight to the gist that the last post couldn’t contain. One of my clients gave us a driver and one morning when he was taking us to work, he was playing a ‘message’. I normally allow my mind drift in cars but when I started hearing the words 'Jesus' and 'Bible', I took interest. I did this because I love listening to sermons but what intrigued most me was that from the accent you could tell that it was a Hausa man that was 'preaching'. So I decided to listen to the 'word', it was an interactive session kind of message. I still can’t forget the things I heard. Here is a summary.

Jesus is a servant of Mohammed. He said he could prove it with the bible. When asked to prove, he quoted Matthew 26:39, you know when Jesus bowed his head to the ground asking God to take the cup from Him if He willed it. He said at that point, Jesus was praying to Mohammed because he bowed his head to the ground. Whaaaattt? He also said that in the amplified version, Acts 3:13, where Apostle Paul referred to Jesus as the servant and son of God. The ‘Preacher” conveniently forgot the son part o. He said this proves that Jesus is a servant of Mohammed.

He said Jesus wasn’t sent to the whole world or to die for mankind that he was only sent to the jews to fulfil the law of Moses i.e. Jesus is not a saviour. I did not stay in the car long enough for me to hear him use the Bible to prove this one.

He also said there is no place in the Bible where Christians are asked to go to church in Sunday but the Quran asks Muslims to go to mosque on Friday.

You could tell this man had done his homework on the bible well and had looked for ‘scriptures’ to support his word. The annoying thing is that the people that he was preaching to (I believe they are Christians because they had Igbo names, I know this because they were introducing themselves before asking questions) were being swayed. That is why it is good to be well grounded

It was a long message but of course, we had to come down from the car when we got to work. One of my colleagues said she consciously tuned off her mind from the message after a while and the other said she decided to sleep off, silently praying that the guy will take us to our destination and not elsewhere. They were both of the opinion that the guy deliberately played the ‘message’ for us to hear. We were four in all and we are all Christians.

Do you know that it is things like this that cause religious crises in the north? If the guy should play something like this to some Christian fanatics, they will just start killing each other. Or can you just imagine someone going to some strong fanatics in the north and telling them that Mohammed worships Jesus, I can tell you that not only will they kill that person, they will kill his family and some people will kill on his dead behalf and then, another era of violence erupts. This makes me wonder, why are people just looking for trouble, especially in an area prone to violence like the north?

Harmattan, Asians, Beggars et al

(Image from Allposters.com)

Ooohh (a sigh of relief)! I got back to the hotel room the next day and found out that my Bible is still safe, thank God. I have been here for almost a week now and I have learnt so much. Apart from the process of making textile and leather, my eyes has been open to see things I never knew.

As we know, there is an uneven distribution of wealth in Nigeria leading to a wide gap between the rich and the poor. It is even more pronounced here in the north. The rich is very rich while the poor is very poor. If you happen to be caught in traffic in the morning, you will realize that the number of beggars that will swarm your car can never be compared to those at the Maryland junction in Lagos before the era of Fashola. The roadside beggars are different o, those ones are able bodied. There is no reason why they should be begging, it is their trade because I noticed that their children are beggars also. They are passing it to future generations.

Enough about beggars. Do you know that it is mostly the Asians that are making money here? I mean the Indians, Chinese and Lebanese. They own and control the industries here, they are the major exporters, they employ few of the northerners who are ‘ready to work’ but the top management are all expatriates. Men, we Nigerians need to wake up o, especially these northerners

Also, I found out that fish is expensive here because of the fact that it is a dry region. Eateries like Mr. Biggs don’t even sell fish at all. Eeya, I'll miss my fish

For the first time in my life, I experienced a new kind of weather. The one where the sun will be shining and you will be feeling cold at the same time. This is how it works, even though the sun is shining, the wind blowing is different. The harmattan wind will still be blowing and it is more harsh in the north. So every where is sunny but you still feel the cold wind.

Aaahh, this post is already too long. There is no time for the real thing I wanted to tell you. I will tell you in the next post. Stay tuned...

A New World

(Image from American Museum of Natural History)

I went to Kano for the first time in my life and I am going to be there for a few weeks. I have been there for only two days but I have learnt new things. First thing I noticed was that most of the men were wearing winter caps because it was so cold. You are wondering about the women abi? Well, apart from two girls I saw coming back from school, I never saw any woman throughout my journey from the airport to the hotel, or maybe I did not look well.


Anyway, when my colleagues and I got to the reception desk, we were asked to fill a form. On it was written, this hotel is out of bounds to all female visitors, except spouses. Trust my jaw to drop and big mouth to talk, I read it out loud to my female colleague and I was jokingly spitting discrimination. Only for us to finish filling our forms and told the guys to go to one wing and the ladies to go to another. They actually split us! Even though we are all from one organization. We were all surprised, a male colleague of mine then said, what if we want to have a meeting? The receptionist was just smiling. When I got to my room, I told my female colleague that maybe they don’t want us to use their hotel to start ‘office romance’ or continue the one we started in Lagos.

The hotel rooms are quite beautiful, it has the Muslim praying mat and ablution kettle and I was left wondering, do they expect only Muslim guests or do they expect us to ‘convert’ before leaving. Well, I just brought out my Bible and put it by the bedside desk, hoping the cleaners have not be directed to throw it away because looking at it now, the inscription ‘Holy Bible’ on it is looking too bold and I am praying it is not desecrating their hotel desks.

Well, I am learning new things out here, new culture and all, even though I am of the opinion that the whole man woman separation is mostly hypocrisy. I will keep learning as long as I am here. To think that I almost turned down this particular client, I thank God I did not.

P.S: I love Muslims, I have Muslim friends and I think we can leave in peace and harmony if we just learn to tolerate each others beliefs.

Stylish and Versatile Blogger Award- Set up

I was one of the people awarded the Stylish and Versatile Blogger by Myne Whitman, the much celebrated fiction writer. This especially comes as a surprise to me as I would only consider myself for the award of the 'Most unknown blogger in blogsville'. I never knew I was stylish and versatile o, thanks myne for the award, it has really gone a long way in encouraging me. But, this is a set up sha.

Here are the rules of the award:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know that they have won.

Seven things about myself
1. I love my company, I like to be alone most times but people don't know this because I talk a lot in public
2. I am a very complicated person, if I were a course, no one will ever pass me
3. I have a very interesting mind, it is as of my mind has a mind of its own and I still don't understand how it works.
4. I have a phobia for travelling by road in Nigeria. When I was serving, I am the only one that used to stay awake all through the 12 hour Journey from Lagos to Benue because I was scared.
5. I am the most prudent person I have ever come across, I can save money out of 'nothing' and give you a fortune years later.
6. I have a very small stature, without makeup, I could pass for a 13 year old girl.

7. Because of my love for writing and snce I don't yet have plans to write any book, I became the Editor and Publisher of the only Neighbourhood Newsletter in Nigeria known as Gbagada Eye (Big achievement, lol)

Wow, the ordeal is over, it was not so bad after all.

Sisi Yemmie

Naijamum

Le Dynamique Professeur

betrayednaijawife

maid of heart

Jaycee

Writefreak

HoneyDame

2cute4u

doll

Rethots

Aloted

Fragilelooks

Goodnaijagirl

a-way with words

8 Questions you should not ask me this year

(Image from ibtimes)

There are some questions that people ask me regularly, even though I don’t like answering them. Unfortunately, not everyone has the ‘spirit of discernment’ and they keep probing. So, I have put together a list of questions no one should ask me this year, I have tried to answer some of them and explained the others away. I hope this will be a little bit satisfactory for the ‘wonderers’.


1. How is school?

Yes, I know that this may sound ridiculous to my friends but a lot of neighbourhood aprocco adults keep asking me this every year, like I am supposed to be a student forever, they forget that you shouldn’t judge people by their size. To set the record straight, I finished secondary school eleven years ago and it has been almost four years since I left university. So unless you are ready to pay for my Masters degree, please, don’t ask me this question again.

2. What ‘exactly’ do you do?

This is one of those questions that make me stall because I don’t know the answer, reason why I don’t like being asked. My employers told me that I am a consultant but I like to think of myself as an apprentice who is training to become an expert in the nearest future if I am patient enough to wait. But truthfully, I don’t know what ‘exactly’ I do.

3. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 yrs?

Well, I want to be the first female president of America. Oh, puhleeaassee… That is for me to know and for you to look out for. Please, face your own short and long term goals and try to achieve them instead of trying to dig out mine. Of what use is that knowledge to you? Unless I come to you for a job interview, I beg you, don’t ask me this question.

4. How is ‘He’?

It still amazes me how many people who don’t know much about you and are trying to find out whether you have a boyfriend or not, ask this question so they can get their answer, instead of coming out to ask you asking directly if you have a boyfriend or not. Just before you think of asking me this question, here is the answer. ‘He’ is fine, whoever 'He' is, wherever ‘He’ is. I don’t have a 'He'. I am single and not searching and please, this is not a job advertisement for the position of boyfriends so guys, don’t forward your CVs.

5. So… when is the wedding date?

Woooooo! I am tired of hearing this one (family members, please take note). There is no wedding date. I have decided to become a nun (yes, I have what it takes), so don't think of asking me this question in the nearest future.

6. Do you ever grow?

This is for the people that see me like once in every 5 yrs. The Answer is ‘No I don’t’. I have been the same size since I was twelve years old, which makes it difficult for me to discard my old clothes. Same height (5’ 5), same weight (45-50 kg), same body size (6-8). So if you see me after a very long time, don’t ask me this question because based on what you see, it is already obvious that I did not.

7. Is this your hair?

Whether my hair is relaxed, dreaded or virgin (its current state), people never ceased to ask me this question. Well, I don’t fix Indian or Brazilian hair, neither do I fix dreadlocks or afro weave ons. If you see anything that looks a bit natural on my head, please don’t suspect or think too much, it is mine. Are you looking for yours? Well I did not steal it, look elsewhere. Yeah, I know it is full and long but I’m sure I am not the only Nigerian to have such hair.

8. Are you a virgin?

Yes, I am a virgin, 'nuff said!

New Year??? Resolution

Image courtsey vatornews

At the beginning of every year, many people make New Year resolutions. I keep wondering why people still keep on making resolutions every year when they were not able to keep the previous year’s own. The first time I heard of the term ‘New Year Resolution’ was in January 1996, I had just resumed second term in JSS2 in a boarding school and everyone kept asking everyone, ‘what is your new year resolution?’ as if we must all have one because it is a prerequisite to being promoted to the next class. I am not sure I ‘formed’ any that year but one thing I know is this, I don’t make new year resolutions. Let us examine some of the reasons why people find it hard to keep their New Year resolutions even though they were really passionate about it when the year began.


Firstly, some New Year resolutions are just unrealistic. A neighbour of mine said that she was going to stop drinking coke totally. While stopping coke drinking might not be a big deal to me, I think it might be really difficult for her, considering the fact that she had 5 bottles of coke a day before. She is addicted to coke (yes, it can be addictive) so I think a more realistic thing for her to do is to reduce the amount she takes at first, adjust a bit and then eliminate it totally. Deciding to stop totally all of a sudden will just send her back to where she started before and the end of the story might even be worse than the beginning. There goes the downfall of a New Year resolution.

Another reason why New Year resolutions fail is because of laziness. Some people don’t just have the discipline and determination to see their resolution through because it might require breaking some old and stubborn habits. When they see how difficult and tasking it will be, they just give up along the way because they have decided that ‘it is just not possible’. There goes another New Year resolution down the drain.

Other New Year resolutions fail because the people that made it made it out of the ‘band wagon’ bug that bit them. It is the rave of the moment, every one is making one, so let me make one too. They forget that ‘everyone’ knows what they are pursuing or what is pursuing them. They also forget that ‘everyone’ won’t be there to monitor the progress of their resolution because we are all on an Oyo (on your own) level. So when, ‘everyone’ is no more is watching and the rave is over, they drop the New Year resolution like a hot coal.

This is my own opinion about New Year resolutions. . I don’t believe in New Year resolutions. I believe that for most people, they don’t work. I believe that we should all resolve to do the best we can in our lives and those of others regardless of whether it is new year or not. What is New Year anyway? It is just the end of 365 days. Why can’t we resolve to do better at the end of 364 days or 363 or 362 or 361 or 360 or……?