A completely honest post: The downside of marriage and motherhood

I interviewed some very smart young ladies over the phone this past weekend. I asked them for feedback over the shortcomings they have noticed on my business page. While their answers were very revealing to me, what struck me was the fact that majority of the trends in my life that I am currently not satisfied with was largely due to my fault.

I have been complaining of less productivity, declining results, etc. But as I traced the timeline in my head, I realised that this negative trend started when I got married, and later started growing my family. It is not that I became lazier or laid back, but I completely ditched some important aspects of my business, and outsourced what I couldn't ditch to people. Outsourcing is not bad, but I didn't occasionally supervise the outsourced areas. And I also realised that the parts I ditched should never have been ditched in the first place, at least, not for so long. This is because this is actually the engine that ran the entire business, something I was completely oblivious of.

Ever since I got married and started building a family, my creativity has been on the decline. Sometimes, I look at old articles and quotes, and ask "was I really the one who wrote these things? Where is my former brain?" It's like since I left my parents' house, my brain has shut down. After I had my son in 2017, I have been under constant pressure (self-imposed), I hardly smile, I can't remember when last I genuinely laughed, my level of productivity has declined, taking my income along with it. I like to think that I've been able to balance motherhood, marriage, and business, but if I am not producing as much result as I used to, then the balance is just an illusion. The truth is I haven't yet found a rhythm that works for me, like I had in my single days. It's like the world is moving forward, while I am receding

Please, if anyone reading this has gone through, or is going through what I am currently going through, let me know in the comment section. If you are already out of it, how were you able to free your mind from being held back.

P.S: I am talking about lack of, or decline in productivity and results, as a result of change in marital status or motherhood, not marital pressure in itself

1 comment

  1. Hmmm, hattylola. you r indeed a strong woman... I used to think I was a bad person 4 thinking thots like these. My 2 year Marriage and indeed one year og motherhood has topple a lot of things in my life as against the independent single life I once lived. We need to find ourselves again.... but how...🤔🤔🤔

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