The Reality (or Myth) of a Well-Balanced Woman

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Before I got married, and later had a child, I constantly heard about how a woman could not successfully balance the different aspects of her life, i.e. her career role, motherly role, wifely role, ministry role (if she is has one). It is said that at every point in time, at least, one aspect has to suffer for others to succeed.

I have listened to several views on this, especially with the rise of several interpretations of feminism. Some say it is possible, while others say it isn’t. Some ask how come men can do it, while women can’t. Some say it is possible, but very difficult, and a lot of sacrifices will have to be made.

After deliberating on this for a very long time, I came to my own conclusion last year, after having an eye-opening discussion with a friend. And this is it. Whenever there are varying viewpoints and philosophies flying around concerning a particular subject, that is when it is time for you to shut all external chaos and noise, and look for the truth. So I asked myself what God said concerning this issue. Is there anything in the word of God that says I can't have it all, and be a totally balanced woman? Yes, I know sacrifices will have to be made, but it is not an impossibility.

Most of the women mentioned in the Bible were not housewives. They were working women, and as far as was portrayed, well balanced women.  So why would I choose to accept man’s philosophy when God hasn't said so. We know that many people's opinions about this are based on the experiences that they and many other women have had. They said, it's the reality of the society we live in. But we also know that reality is relative. Your reality is not my reality

Last week was quite tight for me. By weekend, I found myself having to manage several fronts, and ensuring
I didn't drop the ball at any time. My mum had been asking to see her grandchild for a while, and it had been almost impossible. We finally agreed to drop him with her on my way to rehearsal vigil (I have 9 production shows in the first quarter of the year) at night. I was to go for the vigil, go back home on the island, get back to the mainland by noon, for an event we at African Naturalistas were hosting at O’Naturals, pick my baby after, and then head back home. A major challenge was that my baby, who is being exclusively breastfed, had recently started rejecting bottle in its entirety, something he had been doing in bits before, but my mum kept insisting I bring him.

So I left home by 9pm with my baby in the car, went to my mum on the mainland to drop my son, and then headed to the vigil at about 11pm. By 5.15am, I was back on my bed, and woke up three hours later to get ready for my event. I called my mum, and found out that my son had totally rejected the bottle, just as I suspected. So plans had to be adjusted. I had to pick my son before going to the event, which would mean I will be delayed a bit if I didn’t leave home earlier than initially planned. My assistant delayed me a bit so by the time I got to meet my son, it was already past noon, and the event had already started. My mum had force fed him with syringe, but seeing that I hadn’t breastfed for over 16 hours, the guy wasn’t satisfied. I had to breastfeed, run to the event with my son, nanny, and assistant, and got the event at about 12.35pm. We were done three hours later. By this time, we were all and rushed out to have our first meal of the day, and then headed home, all the while periodically breastfeeding. I got home, slept off cos I had hardly slept in almost 2 days. My son slept too. We woke up about 90 minutes later and got him ready for bed. About 9pm, with my son fast asleep, I opened my laptop and resumed work again.

And this basically has been the cycle of my life lately

It is not a matter of not having a support system or supportive spouse. I reflected on the events of the past weekend and considered where my husband could have helped me out, and I concluded that he couldn't. It was my cross to carry. He couldn't have helped me run to the other end of Lagos to breastfeed my baby. He couldn't have gone for vigil rehearsals for me. He couldn't have given my company’s products presentation for me. If he had gone with me to anywhere, it would have been just for gisting purposes, not necessarily to help me. I have enough family and spousal support in abundance but sometimes, you just have to face everything squarely.

In the process of typing this blog post, my baby has disturbed like a million times, with him crying and throwing tantrums, and me carrying, dropping, carrying, dropping because the nanny is off duty today. I've switched from laptop to phone and vice versa

The question is who sent me message... to want to have it all? It's me that sent myself message, so I only will have to pay the price. If not, I will drop the ball somewhere and join the crop of people telling other aspiring women that they can't live a balanced life, that one aspect will have to suffer for another to succeed

What about you? Do you think a woman can have a well-balanced life in all areas?