Don't Call me Mama (3) - Six Things No One told me about Pregnancy

The pregnancy journey is indeed an interesting one. It is like a trip you take, and you encounter many strangers, both pleasant and unpleasant, along the way. The thing is whether you like it or not, you will have experiences that will be very surprising to you, and most of them, you will be shocking  because no one prepared you for the journey. Without more talking, here are some things I definitely wasn't prepared for when I found out I was pregnant.

That I will be a nine-month spitting machine

I started spitting some weeks after pregnancy. It started like a joke, till I had to start carrying a stainless cup everywhere I went. I tried everything under the planet. I tried bitter kola, ginger, ice cubes, minty sweets and gum, crackers, everything. Nothing worked. It just got worse. They said it would stop when I was like 5 or 6 months gone. It never did. Even when I had my baby, I kept spitting for about the next 6 hours. And just like that, there was no urge to spit.

The condition is called ptyalism, and it sometimes put me in some embarrassing situations. I remember going for a meeting, and I underestimated the length of the meeting so I didn’t have enough sweets with me. I was down to my last butter mint sweet, and the meeting wasn’t even half way. I told my pastor, mehn I’m in trouble. We asked the man we were meeting with for sweet. I basically said excuse me sir, there’s an emergency “I need sweet right now.” He was confused, but had to get me sweets from one of his subordinates, after which we explained my condition. After that day, I switched from using minty sweets in meeting to using strong minty gums. I used to sleep with tom tom in my mouth at night, in order not to spit on my husband’s chest where I had to lay my head on because of pain emanating from my left ribs. Later the tom tom stopped working, so I switched to minty gums, but they made my mouth feel somehow in the morning. We basically settled to laying tissue paper on part of his chest so that when I moved from unconsciousness to sub-consciousness, and the spits starts dripping out, the tissue will prevent his chest from taking the hit of my condition. The guy basically sacrificed his chest for me for months. He is the real MVP, lol.

That everyone’s journey is different

When I got pregnant, my eyes made the mistake of seeing Ciara dancing with her big baby bump, and moving mountains, while I could hardly lift my hands, even though my stomach was as flat as a drawing board.
This sent me into further depression (read my previous post for more details). I didn’t get swollen body, face or feet like some others. I didn’t have dark patches on my face or any skin hyperpigmentation, but I had my own challenges.

That there’s something called pregnancy depression

We all hear about postpartum depression, but depression in pregnancy doesn’t get as much attention, possible because there’s no live baby at risk yet. Depression in pregnancy is real. I lost my drive. I was ill. I turned down editing jobs, I even returned one guy’s book. I lost the drive to do basic things like even taking my bath or cleaning my face at night. It’s like you just sit down and watch your life pass you by, without lifting a finger. The good news is that this phase doesn’t last long.

That I would be vulnerable

I tried, God knows I tried. Every time I got a call from the HR lady I hired that there was someone around to interview for a position at my company, I dragged myself to the office to see the person, and when the situation was really bad, I told them to come to my house, where I interviewed them in the car. Many of them turned out to be unsuitable.
There was a time my store manager ran out on me after a month. It was like my world came crashing down. She was so brilliant and efficient that I felt she was one of the best things to happen to me. When she bailed without prior notice, despite my convincing her that she was breaching her contract, I cried to my husband that night. It was so bad that he had to compose and send out a BC on my behalf to his contacts about the vacant position (this was a big deal because he never sends BCs).

That I would resent my other half

I mean, two people came together to make this baby. Right? So why on earth does one person have to suffer all the physical consequences? Well, that is life. No matter how much we fight for equal rights, a man can never carry a baby. And when as a woman, you have a hard time in pregnancy, it can lead to resentment when you see the man just going about his business as usual. He’s not suffering like you, he’s probably jumping about with his friends, having fun. And even if he invites you to join him, you won’t go anyway. The worst part is that no matter how much you explain, he can never understand because it is not his body. The truth is that it is not his fault. What the man can do at this point is to be sensitive about the woman’s struggles and be supportive in all the ways he can. I have a very supportive husband, but it still didn’t stop me from resenting him when push came to shove.

That it gets better later

Apart from the ptyalism that never went away, second and third trimester was a breeze for me. Life pretty went back to normal, apart from the fact that my stomach was growing bigger, thus shifting the centre of gravity of my body.

Have you been pregnant before or seen someone go through the pregnancy journey? What was the most surprising thing that hit you about the journey?