Parental Consent turns Deadly

First of all, let me say Happy New Month to you all. I pray June will be a far better month for you than May was. Can I hear an Amen?

Source
I once knew someone who like many people, was not allowed to get married to who he wanted to marry. Now, if you are a Nigerian, you basically know that this is not a new thing, as parental approval is a big deal here.

I asked him why, he said his mum said this girl is not God’s will for him, bla bla bla. His mum goes to CAC (Christ Apostolic Church), and according to him, after some of them prayed, their spirit just didn’t agree with the girl. That was the only reason he gave me.

About three years later, this guy’s sister in law told me that the full reason was that after ‘praying and checking’, it was revealed to them that this girl didn’t have long life in her destiny.

Now here is the thing, by the time the SIL gave me this aspect of the story, the girlfriend in question was already dead! 

She had died about two years earlier after falling ill for some time, and I remember that my friend was devastated, although he did not tell me his family has ‘seen’ that this girl didn’t have long life. I honestly don’t think they told my friend about the long life part until the girl died much later.

So my friend goes ahead with his life, started dating someone he had met a long time ago, proposed to her. The girl later broke the engagement and returned to her ex, in turn breaking my friend’s heart. He picks himself back up after some period of serious bitterness, and was ready to move on again.

And then, one day, my friend was on the road taking something from the back of his car, when an absent-minded driver who was looking at his phone while driving on high speed hits my friend against the boot of the car, killing my friend instantly. My friend was 30 when he died, and his dead girlfriend must have been about 26 when she died.

Now this is what gets me anytime I remember the whole story.

When they were ‘checking the destiny’ of another man’s daughter to see if she was suitable enough for their son, did they ‘check the destiny’ of their own son to see if he was good enough? How come they were spiritual enough to sense that the girl was going to die soon, yet not sensitive enough to know anything about the guy’s short life? If their son had gone ahead to marry his second girlfriend, assuming she had not called off the engagement, and he had died, how would his parents have felt, knowing that the grief they didn’t want their son to go through because of another girl’s impending death is the same grief another woman is now going through because of their son’s death?

This is one thing that has baffled me for long, and honestly, I have no answers, or don’t know why, so I won’t pretend to be wise, and start sharing insights.

But really, my main question is this? How come they saw the girl didn’t have long life, but they never saw it in their own son?

Please, I really want to know what you guys think. Even though you might not have a definite answer, just share your opinion. Gracias.

34 comments

  1. Wow I didn't see him dying coming. I'm interested in the answer to your question too.

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    1. You are not helping me here o, lol.

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  2. What a sad story. This left chills all over my spine. Death has so many questions and no answers. I am just going to wait for comments

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  3. It is that feeling some parents seem to have that their children are of a superior 'quality' to others, so they think all is well with them and everything is wrong with the other person. I have a similar story, so please permit me to take a little space.
    When I was pregnant with my daughter I went through so many upheavals including losing all my property and being kicked out of my house, and everywhere I stayed. At some point I had to stay with a former colleague/friend. The day I moved into her place her mother was visiting and I noticed that the woman was extremely cold to me.To cut a long story short, my friend eventually revealed to me, weeks after, that her mother had consulted one of 'those people' before she came to visit, and the person had revealed that the guest, who was coming to stay in her daughter's house, would die of complications of childbirth. So she hated me because I was apparently bringing trouble to her child.
    To cut a long story even shorter, my friend's elder sister was also staying in that house and was also pregnant. She gave birth before me and had such a complicated delivery. It began with labour that lasted 12 hours, after which they decided to perform a CS. The CS was extremely tedious because the lady had had a fibroid operation previously and her organs had been tampered with. She had to be incised vertically 3 times! She then had excessive bleeding and had to be given 9 pints of blood! However, she and the baby survived.
    I gave birth a few weeks later, after pushing for about 4 hours without complications. Turns out the vision they had was for them not for me.
    The moral of the story is not to think that God feels better about one person than the other and then to push someone away because of some questionable prophecy. Pray for the person as you just might be praying for yourself.

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    1. Wow!!!! I totally agree with this.

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    2. Happy for you. GOD is the revealer of all secrets. Whatever plan the enemy makes at night, GOD will reveal it at day, so we can pray and make their plans void. Every revelation from GOD is with clarity, but from mediums, it is more of permutations. The bitter truth is that all parents are self-centered when it comes to their children, because they simply want only the best for them. So imagine the equation:, self centered parents of the boy + self centered parents of the girl = ??????

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    3. @Chili Pepa: I am really sorry for what you had to go through. The fact that you had no choice but to stay in a place you were not full welcome. Your opening statement is just killer. You hit it on the head.

      @Nitty Gritty: Yes o. These parents should watch themselves. Many of them are not clean too.

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  4. Lohla, I didn't see the guy's death coming too o. Chili Pepa, you have made this post 2 in 1, thank God for your life. Parents indeed do not agree or see any form of negativity about their wards. I hope to learn from the comments that will follow mine.
    I remember my cousin who had wanted to get serious with a girl at a time and his younger sister was seriously against the relationship because she had heard tales of how wayward she was and still was at the time. Boy-cousin wasn't haven't it and my uncle called me into his room one night to talk about the whole wahala, I told him to pray that God's will will be done and that while at it he should pray for his son too that God should prepare him for the right woman if she isn't the one for her. My reason was, knowing my boy-cousin for who is having lived with the family (in & out) for years, he's not all that golden too. I wouldn't marry him as a lady myself.

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    1. Exactly. Many of these guys are not good guys. They sleep around and do all sorts, yet their families will be saying one girl is not good enough for their son, when their son is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Nonsense and rubbish

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  5. I know that in the end each parent has the best interest of their children at heart so much that they lose sight of the purpose or the motive behind what 'enquiry' they want to find out and automatically believe that their children are the 'perfect' ones and what to know who or what is best for them.

    I can't pretend I understand these things because based on experience I have more questions than answer.

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    1. As they are checking someone else's own, they should also check for their own children, abi.

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  6. Where did they check the girl's destiny?
    I am asking because, I observed that no matter how Christian or churchy or religious some people are, they will always search destiny of future spouse ... From mediums.

    Maybe their destiny was intertwined, and they both had short life span together? Who knows if his ex that left him also went to check his destiny and she was told he won't live long, hence, she walked out of his life.

    Seriously, if everybody destiny has already been written, then we should not blame people for what they are and what they do abi? After all, they were destined to be that ke?

    I know every parents wants the best for their children, but, if every parents begin to check who will be good for their child, there will be many broken relationships and few marriages.

    I do not believe in this destiny checking because, they did not hear it from GOD, but from other sources. Did GOD not hear the cry of King Hezekiah and added more years to his life, though he was destined to die during his illness? Didn't Jabez prayed for GOD to change his destiny? Prayer is the solution.

    May their souls rest in peace.

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    1. I know this family personally. I can tell you for a fact that they didn't consult mediums. That why I stated that it was CAC people that did the prayers. It's just like saying MFM or Deeper Life consulted mediums. These people are the staunch kind of Christians.

      I don't like the whole destiny-checking thing too o. I agree with you on that. For this case, according to them, they just prayed about the girl, and it was revealed to them that she doesn't have long life, not that their intention was to 'check', you get.

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  7. Checking destiny? I hear new things everyday.
    I have the same questions as you lola.

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    1. Lol. This is not new o. Even King Saul in the bible did it.

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  8. Just to reiterate, and to answer Lola's questions, while some people go to all sorts of sorcerers and magicians, babalawos and stuff, others stay within their religion and go to pastors, Imams and their equivalents. I try not to knock anyone's belief but I think I have been a Christian long enough to know that these things are unChristian. If God wanted us to know the future he would have given us that ability. It is our ignorance of tomorrow that encourages and strengthens our faith in God- a necessary tool for the faith. And why the belief that God is so far that he requires a middleman? Secondly, as a parent I understand the desire to provide the best for your child even in his/her choice of partner but there is also a certain selfishness associated with that. When I gave birth I began to feel more strongly for other people because I saw them as someone else's child like mine. I do not think that feeling dies as you age, and if it does then there is something wrong there. That sort of spiritual genetic manipulation is both selfish and again unChristian. At the end of it all it is a manifestation of our insecurities and deep-seated need for control.

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    1. Thanks for coming back. These people stayed within the confines of Christianity to pray, and it was revealed to them, no babalawo thinz.

      I agree with you totally. It is a deep-seated need for control. People want to control the future. Thanks very much for your insightful comment.

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  9. Parents can be over protective most of the times, my own grouse is wont it have been appropriate for them to reveal to someone else in the girls family about their revelation so prayers for long life can be offered on behalf of the lady.

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  10. That's what happened when people are too addicted in going from one prophet to another. Had an article titled "worse addiction "on my blog some time ago..
    Great blog weldone

    Www.trendwithgloria.blogspot.com

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    1. Hmm. From your comment, I guess we should never play God, and just have faith.

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  11. Your late friend and his late ex girlfriend might have had a happy short life together. Those short years might have meant a lot to both people and just maybe their families might have grandchildren to remind them of their own who passed away now. I don't get why some parents just go into all these future checking nonsense.

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    1. I agree. They might have been happy together, no matter how short.

      This is a sad story Lola.

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    2. Yes Lara, very likely they would have been happy, goes to show why we should never play God.

      Sad.

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    3. From the inside info I have, which I couldn't reveal cos I'm not an anonymous blogger, the guy would most likely not have died if he married the girl. I can't say about the girl though.

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  12. How come they saw the girl didn’t have long life, but they never saw it in their own son?: They queries were directed at discovering the girl's destiny and not that of their son. In finding out this kind of stuff most parents neglect to find out what kind of contributory their kids are. If its to be done i think it should be both ways, that's if the parents are really concerned about their child's future and not just intent on chasing the intended.

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    1. Exactly. If they must check, let them check both ways, else it makes us believe they think there's nothing flawed about them, but only in others are there flaws.

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  13. "Checking someone else's destiny"....is that even right in the first place? :S

    I feel bad for both of them however dying at a certain age doesn't necessarily mean the person didn't fulfill purpose. Hopefully whatever message was meant to be learnt from their deaths has been learrnt and they didn't die in vain....and hopefully they knew God. As christians we shouldn't fear death but sometimes....sometimes...*shudders*

    Finally did the guy himself even pray and ask God if it was His will for him to be with the girl? My personal belief is that before you take a spouse home, you have prayed and are convicted.

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    1. Well, I know the guy as a very serious Christian, but I can't speak for him. With the inside information I have, I actually believe that if they had gotten married, the guy won't be dead by now. Not sure about the girl though.

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  14. Awww! This is one sad tale. Stories like this usually strike a very sensitive part of me. Thanks for officially ruining my day! Lol.

    Seriously now, I have heard a lot of stuff about so-called 'church parents' claiming to engage in prayers and fasts to determine who is suitable for their children. I think it's simply absurd. No one holds the future except God so we have no right to look into anyone else's or even our own destinies. All we should do is place our future before the Almighty God and allow Him cause all things to work for our good.

    Besides, I also believe our minds has a tendency of triggering some sort of spiritual reaction. If you believe some evil stuff would happen to you or someone and the person allows such an idea to settle in his/her subconscious, you just might have triggered a chain of events that would begin to bring about the occurrence of such an unfortunate event. We need to think positive here!

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    1. Hmm. I like your reasoning. Yes, the triggering part has some truth to it, but it is not like they told the girl or the guy naa. Anyway, better not to mess with things we don't understand, and allow God to take control.

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  15. Waoh!
    As an Mfm member myself I am a bit confused.
    They must have been very prayerful to have gotten that kind of revelation about the girl and it indeed happened that way,( though a part of me thinks that they could have warned the lady to pray against sudden death) so I am perturbed as to why they didn't see visions for their son.
    Anyway who am I to judge.peharps they had premonitions and it couldn't be averted.
    My two cents is that we all pay attention to our dreams. Most of this sudden deaths could have been averted if the dreamers took cognizance of their dreams.
    Dreaming of coffins, graveyards, dead relatives and so on indicate that the spirit of death is hovering around such dreamer.
    Pray immediately and cancel such dreams.

    Hi Atilola. Educating and engaging post.

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  16. Hi Atitola, just getting to know your blog after you were published in punch. This particular post is very moving. It got me thinking, what if their destinies were intertwined and God purposely dint reveal their son's early death so as to save the lady. I think if they had revealed to the lady and prayed against sudden death, the boy's life would have been spared. we need to be very careful of this "for my family only" mindset as we never look at the bigger picture

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What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.