Bad Daughter

Recently, I got a text message on my phone. Thinking it was an alert from my bank because it was pay day, I realized that it was from this strange number. The person had been calling me for days but Airtel network is not so good in Kano, so I couldn’t hear for 4 days. I do not like returning calls to unknown numbers because I believe that if it is really urgent, you will send a message. Anyway, the message read

‘Goodafternoon, I’ve been calling u since last week but the service is always bad. What type of a daughter are you that you can’t ask after us at home for over one week. I wonder what you will do when you are married?'

I have not edited anything in this message, hence the typos. When I read this, I wondered who this could be. But since I have only one mother (just like everyone), she was my first suspect. If it was her, then I was dumbfounded and she must have sent the message out of frustration. I started to justify myself in my mind, ‘why has she been calling with a strange number’, ‘I don’t return unknown calls’, ‘it is not over a week she’s been calling, it is just 4 days’, ‘I still talked to her 6 days ago’. Anyway, I called the number immediately and I found out that she was truly the sender. I explained everything to her and apologized giving the ‘I have been busy’ excuse.

I am not good at calling people, family members especially. My mum also knows this because when I was leaving home, she said to me, ‘if you like, get there and don’t call us regularly o, because you are used to not calling people. Since she was already expecting me to fail in this area, then why was she disappointed? I can count how many times I talked to my family members when I went for my 1 year service. I think I really have to change because when your mother starts sending you this kind of message, one should realize that ‘gari don pass water be that’. I am still asking myself this, am I really a bad daughter? Because I seriously feel like one.

P.S: I typed this when I was in Kano in January. When I went to England in April, it was worse o, I only called my mum three times. In which, I had received one round of blasting during my first week there. By the time I got back home, I receives lots of verbal Bazookas, she almost refused the things I bought her. Is regular calling really important? I am sure my mum is afraid that once I get married, I might get 'lost', but she is secretly thanking God that OH is a 'family person' and he has 'oyaya'.