What is she doing here?

I was recently led to work with the teenagers in my church, and like my curious self, I have constantly been studying their ways and mannerisms. Needless to say, I have observed a lot, both positive & negative.

On a particular Sunday, a girl in her late teens walked in and she was practically naked. Her back was completely bare and her front her breasts was barely covered, her hair was fixed to look like an old school Rihanna style, her skirt rode far above her knees. Adorned with her designer bag and neck and hand bead, she looked like she was going to a night club. When I saw her, my jaw dropped, she walked in with two other girls who were also flamboyantly dressed but still looked descent.

The first thing that crossed my mind when I saw her was ‘which parent allowed her child to leave home like this?’ It was bad enough dressing like that but worse when the intended destination is church but I tried to compose myself so that my face won’t betray my thoughts. I am sure the same thing was going through the mind of other adults. One mixed race boy of about 13 yrs of age behind me suddenly said, ‘where do they think they are, they don’t even know that they are coming to church (hiss)?’ Now hold it there, didn’t she dress that way so that other teenagers could admire her and see her as a hot babe, why the opposite reaction from them?

I thought to myself, what could I do now? Maybe I should just walk up to her and ask her to go out and dress properly (no, that would be very unchristian and unwise), or maybe I should just look for a scarf for her to cover herself. After a while, I managed to ignore my longing to solve the problem.

As I teenager, I have dressed crazily, I wore spaghetti gowns (I still do), I wore contrasting pairs of earrings, I sagged my jeans, I hung my baggy dungarees on a single strap, and when I started realizing that I am a lady, my grandmother complained that my tops were always too jumpy, my earrings were too big and my lip gloss was too shiny. If any part of my stomach showed, she would pull my pants or skirts up, and hold it wit safety pin so that they won’t ride down again. This was quite understandable as I am her first granddaughter and my mother was just tired of me. The only person that seemed to ‘understand me’ and wanted to be like me was my younger sister, which also was not surprising since I was the only elder female influence she had in her life and she admired my independence. So, you wont blame me for being shocked when I saw ‘sister scandalous’.

Where are the parents, who have they relegated their duties to, the school, the teachers or the church? We need to be aware of the kind of children we are nurturing and take an active position in their decision making instead of raring breeds who will eventually become a potential danger to their generation.


  1. Everybody gotta right to decide his or her destiny. In this, it ain't no one's business mendling. Two ways lead into life, one goes in the right, another goes in the left, I choose the left: the choice oughta be mine, in as much I do not infringe on somebody's privilege. There can never be a union from a conglomeration of different entities. In as much we are embeded in the cosmos of free-will, and individualistic desiring, there's gotta be a like case of the teen in the above topic. Ain't it written in the Holy bible that "the wolf would dwell with lion"? "the weeds and the grains"? Only an infernal wayward men will be swept by a hallucinatory nakedness of a lady to wanna commit promiscuity. Yea, because it ain't nakedness alone that stimulates orgy. Our thoughts rings our emotions, and emotions in turn rings desires. Whether the teen dressed in punjab or puddah, or veiled head downward to the toe, men of base mind will yet be swayed. Don't we have rape, and sex avariance in arab, or among moslems, despite the coverings? Let's take cue, and be wary not to blame the parents. Anyway, I think ya shock or reservation about this teen projecetd from the culturality of decency of the Nigeria people-especially the Yorubas. Come see in US churches, and I bet ya shock will decimate.

  2. I am not really surprised that teenagers are leaving their homes that way, after all, their parents do the very same.

    We really should realize some things. We keep blaming the government for ills in the society, but they really begin from the homes. When parents and/or guardians turn a blind eye on the
    activities of their children and/or wards.
    When parents are too busy pursuing things to notice or be bothered by what their kids are doing.
    Sometimes, the kids are simply looking for the attention of their parents, and when they don't get it, they rebel.

    Parents are looking to the teachers to correct their kids, teachers are afraid that the parents will come and "harass" them for the discipline....so the big question is Who is responsible?

    Also, we really need to understand that what we wear to church should be decent, at least for fellow church goers.


What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.