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People do things to please family, friends, foes, everyone but themselves. We are all aware of the radical decisions people make to please others, but that is not what I want to talk about now. I am talking about simple everyday decisions.
Do you know that choice is not a gift or privilege to you? It is your right as a human being, and you should exercise it every day of your life, knowing that every choice you make has its consequences.
As a child, you have the right to obey or disobey your parents. It is your choice, but you must fully understand the consequence of disobeying your parents. So you can choose to obey them because you understand that the consequence of not doing so will spell doom for your future, not because you are a robot devoid of choice.
As an adult, you have a choice to be lazy or hardworking. You have a right to choose how exactly you want your life to play out. You shouldn’t graduate from school and then look for a job just because society expects you to. You should understand that you have the choice to be a lazy bum just occupying a space on earth, and you must understand the consequence of that choice, which is that you will become no one to be reckoned with, and possibly poverty-stricken, suicidal, and depressed.
Why am I taking this angle?
The lack of understanding of choice and consequences is what has driven so many people to frustration today. People live by the guideline that society has set for them. I have to obey my parents because I was groomed to do so. I have to study hard and excel in school because my parents would like it. I must then get a job because that’s the next thing society expects. I would then get married because well… that’s the next thing on the agenda. I have to slave for a promotion at work or strive for my business to expand because my children have to go to good schools. And so it goes on and on and on. After 50 years, we get a successful but frustrated individual perfectly cooked up in the pressure cooker of ‘societal expectations.’
Do you know what? No you don’t! You don’t have to obey your parents. You don’t have to study hard. You don’t have to get a job. You don’t have to get into a relationship or get married. You don’t have to strive for a better pay. In fact, you would be exercising your right as a human being if you do the opposite of all these. You won’t be doing anything wrong
But…
You must understand the role of choice and consequences. Each choice leads to an outcome, and you must choose wisely. So let’s flip the script a little bit.
I choose to obey my parents because disobeying them would cause my future to be doomed (or earn me serious thrashing if you are an African child, lol). I choose to study hard and excel in school because I understand the role it plays in the opportunities presented to me later on. I choose to get a job or start a business because I understand that I have been placed on this earth for a purpose, and I want that purpose fulfilled before I die. I choose to get married because I understand the role of companionship in the life of an individual, I found someone I love and loves me back, and life would be dreary without him/her. I choose to strive for promotion at work or business expansion because I want a better quality of life, and to give my family the opportunity to make well-informed choices like I have done. I choose, I choose, I choose.
After 50 years, we get an individual who knows that no matter how his life turns out, he can rest knowing that he made his own choices. This individual is bound to be more fulfilled, and would makes less mistakes because his life is well thought out.
I pray that in raising children, parents would explain well the principle of choice and consequence rather than take the because-I-said-so approach, which is what most people do. A child who understands choice and consequence to the tee turns out well in life.
And to the fully-formed adults, let us all drop the I-have-to-do-it attitude we approach life with. No you don’t. You don’t have to do it because it is expected of you. You have a choice. You have a choice. You have a choice.
You don’t have to marry that man. You can wait for a better man, even though you would have to wait a little longer. Why marry into misery?
You don’t have to stay in that job. You can resign, and fulfill your purpose on earth, even though you might have to be broke for a little while, and be more financially prudent. Why live a life of frustration?
You don’t have to join every trend you see in real life or social media even though you don’t understand it. You can choose to stand out of the pack, and be counted for something more reasonable. Why lose yourself just because you want to blend in?
You don't have to go to every friend's house to play and gossip. You don't have to buy that extra Aso Ebi, whether you have a similar colour in your closet or not. Trust me, you would save a lot of time and money by doing these two things. People will laugh at you, insult you, and say all sorts, but remember you have a right to choice. Any other thing is you handing that right over to society.
It is your life. It is not your father’s life, friend’s life, sister’s life, or brother’s life. It is your life!
You are not a robot disguised in flesh. You are a human being.
You have a choice! Exercise it.
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY LOVE THIS!!!! It has taken me a while but I think I finally got this concept about a year ago! EVERYTHING (to a very large extent) about this life and its living, is a choice! And every choice has its own consequences. For a while now, I have found myself saying (whenever I am told of person A or B or C taking a certain decision, however unpopular it may be) that, "It's ok. Provided he/she can own that choice, it is perfectly fine". These days, I am beginning to find that I am more irritable to discussions that center around adults who can't own their shit (excuse my French).
ReplyDeleteBut then again, people doing things, just because, is a choice in itself.
Oh well. To thyself be true!
It's really annoying to hear full grown adults who don't take responsibility for their choices. Are you a robot???
DeleteApplause!
ReplyDeleteNothing like being boxed in by societal expectations. Dreadful indeed
Exactly. Thank you. But some people are just natural people-pleasers.
DeleteThis reminds me of the popular song by Dr Alban ... it's your life...la.la.la. it was a hit back then ... as you make your bed, you will lie on it shikenah!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Some people don't realise that their the ones who actually lie on the bed.
DeleteTHANK YOU!!!!!!!! I`m sending this to my cousin.
ReplyDeleteLol. Why? He/she doesn't believe in choice and consequences?
DeleteAti-gurl! This post is gospel truth. It's your life, live it and don't let other live it for you. Thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteThank youuuu. Come back soon.
Delete1Cor 10:23 - Everything is allowed (permissible) but not everything is awesome (beneficial).
ReplyDeleteWe always have a choice and we always have to bear the consequences ourselves, irrespective of who (or what) influences the decision. Hence choose wisely. (Deut 30:19).
You should watch the Lego movie if you haven't yet (No it's not a Christian movie :p )
I have watched lego movie. Did so last year. Though I cannot remember the whole story line well, I know the underdog had to be courageous, brave to tackle some things, etc.
DeleteBB - YASSS!!!
DeleteGirl!!! I say this all the time. I find it annoying when people go "what will people say if i do bla and bla" Whatever anyone says is their business. My purpose in life is not to please people particularly when we all know everyone CANNOT be pleased. I'll do me. If it gives you a headache, use panadol. My life, my choices; my business. Fini
ReplyDelete"What will people say?" actually gets people into trouble. Most times, other people are too busy sorting out their own lives to care about the choice you make about yours.
DeleteWe are coming up mma !
ReplyDelete