One more Blog Post

In the middle of the pain
We will act like nothing is wrong
We will smile when we get to church
Not the regular smile
We will find a way to fake a duchenne one
We will pull our pastor into a corner
Cry on his shoulders
Telling him of how lonely and hollow we feel
How he beat us again
After collecting our money again
How we are miserable again
Because no man looked our way or complimented us again
We would come out of the corner with smiles plastered on our face
After our pastor has dried our tears with his expensive suit
He doesn’t mind that we ruined it with our tears
It sure looks like the one we bought him from Selfridges on our last vacation
Similar to the one we would buy him from harrods on our next vacation
We run home, flip open our laptops
We will write one more blog post

But for now, we would hold our head high
We would tweet
We would act like our lives are perfect
We will not give in to the depression
We will write one more blog post

… A blog post about depression
How it is a cancerous disease that affects other people
Especially pretentiously happy celebrities
Robbin’ Williams of his last comic act
But would never touch ordinary people like us with a bargepole

We would post joyful-sounding status on facebook
Our best friend will ‘like’ our status
We would smile a knowing smile
Knowing she was the one who stayed awake all night to counsel us after he broke our heart once again
Her ‘likes’ really meaning “I know your secret, but I’ll just pretend with you on social media
And if that’s what you want
I will even comment when you write…
One more blog post”

We would go on Instagram
We would check out pictures
We would like pictures
We would post pictures
Pictures of us standing side by side with the source of our pain, swollen faces and bleeding hearts
People will check out our pictures
They would like our pictures
Each click of like generating a smile
Like a directly proportional equation
Till our smiles previously fake are forced into being real
We would lie on our beds once again
Heads on pillow, edges of our lips gradually curving concavely
Smiles turned to frowns turned to tears turned to regrets
Till our eyes close, and our hearts pray they never open again

The blessings of God disappoint us and the morning sunshine wakes us up
We have come to hate our lives
The cycles of pretence eroding the sanity of our moral uprightness
But for now
We must facebook, we must tweet, we must post pictures on Instagram.
We must open our laptops
We must write one more blog post

34 comments

  1. This is so lovely.. You are truly talented.. Happy new week to you all.



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  2. Interesting view and delivery. Nice one @ilola.

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  3. mehn This is too much talent for one person...kilode na.. Nice post *winks*

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    1. Abeg, don't let my head come and burst here o, lol. Thanks very much.

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  4. blessings.......
    pretending can be a dangerous thing....
    though we cannot always walk with our sorrow on our shoulders for others to see and peck at.

    good piece.
    thanks for sharing.
    Rhapsody

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    1. I agree. We don't have to write our emotions on our foreheads, but still, we shouldn't mask the real with a facade.

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  5. This poem, I so understand very well!
    It is everywhere...pretense, evasiveness, charade!!!
    Do I blame or fault them? ... Not anymore! Before I did! Why?
    Because, it is the same virtual people, that will laugh, snicker and mock them behind their backs!!! So, it is not a smart move to put all your problems out their for all to see, apart from your friends in your 'inner-circle'.

    Was it not on Fb many months ago, a lady posted a pic of her using the loo and breastfeeding her toddler the same time, because she wanted to keep it real, since some are complaining about the fakeness of fb, instagram, twitter ...what did she get back? 'EWWW' DISGUSTING' ..blah..blah! I said to myself, this lady now came out to show the reality of being a mother and she is being blasted! I applauded her courage. Many of them saying eww, probably were fed in worst, , deplorable environments!

    The fakeness, lies, charade, pass wrong messages to young ones, hence, causing their expectations to be so high, which is not a bad thing if directed to achieve positive things. But what I see in media is all based on materialism and living the good life!!! This gives an erroneous thoughts of having a shortcut to success and happiness! I wish people who share their success story, will also speak about the pains, sacrifices, wrong decisions, anger, doubts, and fears they went through to achieve that success, than sugar coating the process, that when these gullible, young ones, embark on the same path, and they cannot cope and fall by the road side, they will not think they are failures!

    You see, I tried to talk about the difficulties and challengings of living abroad, but I get cussed out anonymously in an entertainment blog for opening the 'ynansh' of diasporas! I know few, who have stopped communicating with me or visiting my blog, which don't bother me, because, it is not all rosy as they paint it on their pages! Some like hyping to make themselves feel better, but those who knows, knows, and like you said, they will like your post, comment well in your post, but snicker behind their hands, but as loyal friends, they cannot betray them abi?

    I also talked about the challenges in marriage, that it needs hard work, but I was seen as a prophet of doom, and like a commenter said, I am managing my own marriage, but don't we see the truth out there everyday in the divorce statics and domestic violence stories, ... just that those who talked against me then, are simply ashamed to come out to speak about their challenges and simply keep up appearances, like an old British comedy, 'keeping up appearances'. Young ladies, should not be carried away by the paparazzi on proposals, engagements and wedding ... if all that effort is directed into marriage, there will be lesser divorce! Our fore-parents and parents did not have all these paparazzi and they married long!!! Love is over-hyped! Respect in marraige is the key word! Because, you won't do unto others, as you don't want them to do unto you!

    An enjoyable post Atilola.

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    1. Nitty has finished all my sentiments about this er post. Another one is peeps shouting goals when they see a seemingly cute couple on IG, do you know exactly what you're wishing for? Hmmn it is well. Who no go no know indeed.

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    2. @Nitty: I really like when you leave these kinds of comments on my posts. I get to learn more, lol. But really, that picture must have been disgusting, lol. I never knew mothers breastfed their kids in the loo o.

      Can't I have both love and respect in my marriage? I want both o, lol.

      See ehn, all those paparazzi proposals, I don't even fall for them. Abi is it different from the relationships we are seeing everyday?

      @Lohla: Which one is 'goals'? I am not sure. Do you mean people claiming the same 'blessing' for themselves?

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    3. Am blushing, thanks Atilola. Ahahaha, of course, you can have both, if asked to choose between the two, I will advise any lady to choose respect. Because when a man respects you as a woman, wife and mother of his children, he won't mess up!

      The word love has been abused! A man will tell 3 women he loves them! How possible? But he won't joke with one of the ladies, because he respects that particular lady from the rest! As per paparazzi proposals, it is like a competition now, always trying to outdo the one trending!

      @melange, thank you.

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    4. oops! I just noticed my error in the previous comment..THERE and not their. Sorry.

      Humph! Atilola, pray make one kain s*** no hold you, and nobody to help you carry pickin wo! You go forget decorum abi etiquette sef! And enter toilet! If they are not moving yet, it is easier to put them on their rocker or walker, and pull it close to the door so you can be watching. But if they are already walking, forget it! They will enter the bathroom with you!

      One of the realities of being a mother is that you have to make do with whatever situation you find yourself IF there is nobody around to help you at that particular moment!

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  6. I such much love ur write-up full of wisdom for the wise ones, &@NittyGritty u nailed it i like ur comment, peoples fool themselves wt glitters things, to me keeping it won't hurt excerpt the fools #smiles.

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    1. Aww, thanks very much. We wouldn't be carried away.

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    2. @Sisilicious, Thank you.

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  7. Great post...Moreso because it's real.
    we try to fill the void and pain with activities but the truth is they can never heal us of the pain...
    Underneath the fingers that click "like" maybe one typing with a heart full of ache...

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    1. Very true. Both the likers and the likees, everyone has what they deal with.

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