 |
| Source |
If you keep pressuring single ladies with statements like “so when are we eating the rice?” you are what is wrong with marriage.
If you keep asking your 33 year old single friend or cousin “when are we wearing aso ebi?” you are what is wrong with marriage.
If you keep telling your daughter to hurry up, because most of your friends’ daughters are already married, you are what is wrong with marriage.
If a lady comes to you for advice because her fiancée/boyfriend is abusive in anyway, and you tell her to grow up, and count herself lucky because she has a man who is even interested with her, you are what is wrong with marriage.
Marital status is not a social status.
Singleness is a state, not a disease, so don't rush or pressure single women into marriage, and treat them like something is wrong with them.
When they react to your pressure, and get married to the wrong person, you will be nowhere to be found when the bubble bursts.
The marriage is about the person, not you. We know you are itching to join the AWMD (Association of Women with Married Daughters). We know you can't wait to attend one more wedding, but why should that single lady suffer for your desires. Are you so party-starved that you can't afford to wait? The wedding you so much want to attend will last just a few hours, while her marriage will last a life time. Let her think straight while making her choice. Your pressure and snide remarks are not allowing her to do that.
Stop pressuring single ladies. Stop asking them for wedding rice. If you are hungry, go and cook your own. Stop asking to wear useless Aso Ebi. That tradition should even be banned; it’s been abused for way too long. Also, you already have enough in your wardrobe. Stop passing snide comments to single ladies, or asking stupid questions. Stop it! Most of them want to get married, so they don't need you to remind them with your indirect questions. Stop contributing to what is wrong with marriage today.
Atilola Moronfolu
 |
| Source |
I am hereby seeking the author's permission to reprint billions of copies for myself so when I am asked useless questions, I can hand out a copy like someone distributing "Watchtower". YES!!!!! This is the answer to every stewpid question I've been asked but I've been too polite to respond to appropriately. Next time I go to a wedding and hear 'ti e na a'de o" after saying 'amin' I will give the person this article to forestall further questions. Next time an aunty comes to my house and says 'are you posing for them ni?' I will give her her very own copy. Please say I can reprint as many of this as I want. Pretty please!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and b...t..dubs, I was at my cousin's wedding in Abeokuta three weeks ago and someone practically begged me to go and catch the bouquet. I told her my cousin's bouquet I caught in 2008 is sitting in the house gathering dust and has proven so useless by not compensating the grievous bodily harm involved in catching it...so I'm good on the bouquet front. Clearly the bouquet mojo doesn't work...at least not for me.
Deletelol! All true, I'm a guy but I don't know why people tend to say "ti e na a'de o" at a wedding ceremony to the girls. Pressure to wed is like preparing a volcano for divorce. It is well!
Deleteahahahaha @ print and distribute 'watchtower'
DeleteLmaooo but I'm totally feeling this Cherry. very annoying something. This past birthday, prayers from older people was basically "this time next year, in your husband's house with twins" smdh
Delete@ Cherry wine: Please feel free to print a million copies, and share. Pass it to busybody aunties, lol. I never caught a bouquet. How can I when I don't even attend weddings?
Delete@ Wale: I don't go for weddings, so I don't hear that nonsense.
@ Toinlicious: Ehm, maybe they plan to supply you the man and the twins, lol.
hahaha...the pressure is real madam, I just dont bother with attending weddings anymore.
ReplyDeleteLol. Hope it is not pressure that made you stop attending sha?
DeleteStrange, I wrote something like this today on my post....though different perspective......but seriously it's getting tough out there to be a single woman and the society isn't helping matters...what about the single men, who's pressuring them?
ReplyDeleteI'm a guy. Well, its crazy to pressurise to wed. I'm about to read your publication on 'Mrs somebody'. I believe its better to turn deaf ear to their request of "ti e na a'de o"
DeleteStrange-r I just mentioned it in my comment below before reading yours! ahahha
Delete@ Sykik: I have not see your post o. Maybe your posts don't update on my dashboard anymore
DeleteHahahahaha " Stop asking them for wedding rice. If you are hungry, go and cook your own"
ReplyDeleteAtilola baby, WHEN AM I EATING RICE MY FRIEND!
Hmmm....this marriage matter ehn lol, e no dey end o. Unfortunately, few mothers will heed not to pressure their kids. I remember my sister;s wedding; a night before the traditional wedding my dad called us all to the parlour and pointedly told my sister that she should not think she can't change her mind o, that if she doesn't want to get married she should tell him so he will call it off as it's not too late. My sis cried and my mum was so mad at my dad haha! The old man was just being caring ni o.
Go and cook your own, lol. I love your dad jo. He get sense die.
Delete*sigh*..... When we push women into marriage, we end up with Ray Rice like situations.
ReplyDeleteI heard about the Ray Rice story shortly after your comment came in. Sad!
DeleteLmao! @ Stop pressuring single ladies. Stop asking them for wedding rice. If you are hungry, go and cook your own. Atilola ooooo!!!
ReplyDeleteLol. Abi I lie?
DeleteThe Lord is speaking to someone on blogsville Halleluyah! Sykik wrote something along these lines too!
ReplyDeleteI don't even attend weddings. Plus, mans are still young for this kind of pressure.
But, after reading sykik's post and yours... The after effect of the pressure is worse, I think you should also do one for the single ladies.. Bike don't allow yourself to be pressured (Ofcourse in your more articulated words ;))
Loooll. You are still young o jare. I wrote this article with ladies over 30 years old in mind. I might take you up on your offer. Who knows?
DeleteYes!!
ReplyDeleteAs in the pressure is much! I thank God very much for my mother whose lack of pressure is almost worrying lol..
I love Cherry's comment.. LOL @ the bouquet from 2008..
And that phrase 'Ti e na a de'....Smh
My mum too doesn't pressure. Thank God for that.
DeleteI think the best antidote to the "pressure to get married disease" is an understanding of purpose and a consciousness that one is in line of purpose + God makes everything beautiful in HIS own time. For all the single people (guys + ladies) on this platform, "ti yin na a........."
ReplyDeleteLoooll. You aint serious.
DeleteI just came from Sykik blog and she also talked about Mrs v Singles! And now you!
ReplyDeleteI like! Why? Because it reminds me of my own days of spinsterhood and the pressure.....oh, the pressure! Especially when my elder brother got married before me! Chai! ahahaha....am laughing now, but then, it was not funny o!
I believe the pressure is reducing now because of the enlightenment, the global economy and divorce ratings that is on the increase. So people are more cautious since love alone is not enough to sustain the marriage.
I foresee a time,parents, relatives and friends would STOP these pressure because what seemed so important to our generation, would be considered 'NOT' in future. Marriages would be entered after much consideration like educational status, financial status, then physical attributes. Did I hear someone ask Love?
*ask what of love?*
DeleteI forgot to agree with you about this aso-ebi ish! It's so getting out of hand and at so much a price! A lady had to tell her friend who likes celebrating every event with aso-ebi that she won't help her pay her children's school fees if she continues buying aso-ebi!
Haa. I actually don't think the pressure is reducing o. Trust me. With all the weddings left, right, and centre, mothers have increased their pressure o.
DeleteLool. I like that friend, she is honest jare.
My in-law just told me the story of another in-law who is party crazy and can have aso-ebi to announce that his dog has given birth. It;s so crazy that in a year only him can celebrate about 5 events and this has been going on for years...
Delete@ sykik: He obviously is not living a purpose-driven life.
Deletehattylolla you are alive on point.
ReplyDeletemore to come from me. i will contact you next week about mindblowing similar stuff.
till then, rem GOD DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.HIS opinion is most important anyway.
And nobody can protect any future husband or children or the womaN herself but HIM.
Life is very personal so don't mind them. In the scheme of things in your life and mine, only two people exist, GOD and you or me. Evertything else is inside HIM (all us too), sha I hope you get the gist.
No looking back(declining), around (aunties used by evil spirits or Satan), down (discouragement). ONLY UP.
Adapted from Be The Best, Be The Very Best by Daddy G.O.
Your comment always cracks me up. Thanks for always reading.
Deletehattylolla you are alive on point.
ReplyDeletemore to come from me. i will contact you next week about mindblowing similar stuff.
till then, rem GOD DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.HIS opinion is most important anyway.
And nobody can protect any future husband or children or the womaN herself but HIM.
Life is very personal so don't mind them. In the scheme of things in your life and mine, only two people exist, GOD and you or me. Evertything else is inside HIM (all us too), sha I hope you get the gist.
No looking back(declining), around (aunties used by evil spirits or Satan), down (discouragement). ONLY UP.
Adapted from Be The Best, Be The Very Best by Daddy G.O.
LOL
ReplyDeleteI feel the pressure
I will get married when I am good and ready
To someone who wants me not someone who just wants to get married
To someone who cherishes me, not someone who just wants to show off
To someone who knows marriage is covenant not someone who just wants to get that old things done
Good post.
I love your criteria. You are too special to be a trophy wife jare.
DeleteI here it mostly in church when a Christian mother gives my sweet mum asoebi for her daughter's wedding. I just smile and say, very soon.
ReplyDelete@Cherrywine, don't hand them Atilola's post as hand bills oo. They will take you to church for deliverance and say Atilola doesn't want their child to get married. Just smile and walk away abeg.
Sometimes I think our aunts and mother's friends are clueless. Them no go mind their business. They will be putting their mouths into what does not concern them. Most times, they are the ones that make our mothers put pressure on us.
In short, give them hand bills.
Uniquely different with Fredilia
Loool. Church folks and their drama. Everyone should answer their own surname jare.
DeleteLOL! at "go and cook your own" or they ask "when are we drinking your wine?" I thought I was just a baby girl till my childhood friend who is also my age called to tell me I should start thinking seriously about marriage. I thought she was joking oh but this babe was very serious.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard about the wine comment o. I'm sure that will be more common among the Igbos. Your friend should take it easy o.
DeleteOur society is marriage-crazed and it's the reason for so many domestic violence,divorce,infidelity etc. I didn't bow to pressure cos i'd always known i'm the one to live with my partner.I took my time (dated her for almost 4yrs) and now that we're married,i'm happy and glad i didn't rush things.Marriage isn't a must,really. These days,it doesn't even come with the prestige it used to carry,so don't get pressured into your own unhappiness as a single person.
ReplyDeleteThey pressure you??? But you are not old na? Lol. I am glad you are enjoying yourself o jare.
DeleteMy comment just disappeared......
ReplyDeleteI like that- marriage is not a social status. People will pressure people into getting married but they won't be there to help them carry the "weight" that comes with being married. It is well
Thank you so much for this post. The pressure is real...lol!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog already...will keep dropping by.
Aunty Kari Jobe has a good testimony to share to the Glory of YAHWEH... Maybe, they should rather learn from her and continue praying for their "Omoge" in the secret rather to pressuring them... Sincere heartfelt prayers work!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mstarz.com/articles/13778/20130603/kari-jobe-marriage-tips-young-girls-single-women-during-k.htm
http://www.christiantoday.com/article/christian.singer.kari.jobe.gets.engaged.to.singer.and.pastor.cody.carnes.youre.my.miracle/39643.htm