Yes, you a man! No, I will not serve you!



Last month, I attended a digital marketing training organised by a bank, at Sheraton hotel. At the end of the training, there was a buffet.

While serving myself fruit salad, a young guy dropped his plate in front of me, smiled at me lightly, and walked away to serve himself another type of dessert. I was confused so I asked him “what?” He said “serve please.”

I was so shocked and mumbled “no” just because I assumed he must have thought I was a waiter, even though I wasn’t dressed like one, and it was a serve yourself buffet. He then drew out a long “plsssss” and laced it with a patronizing smile. In my mind, I was like “you can’t be serious. So you even know I’m not a waiter.”
I looked at him, raised my eyebrows, shook my head emphatically, and said no quietly but firmly. I learnt that move from my husband, and it has an interesting way of communicating “no further questions.”

I picked my plate and walked away, still shocked. What baffled me was that the guy didn’t think he was doing anything wrong after my first refusal, and went ahead to patronize me. Also, there was some part of me that questioned myself that “maybe I was being unnecessarily mean.” But deep down, I knew there was nothing wrong with my actions.

When you are not my husband, brother, or guest, why would you make such request? This guy did this because in his head, I’m this small petite (probably single) girl he could flash a smile at, and get his dessert served... at a buffet, even though he knew me from nowhere.

Would he have asked a fellow guy to serve him? Would he have asked a bigger corporate-looking madam to serve him? Would he have asked me to serve him if I were standing with my boyfriend/husband? Obviously, there was something about him and me that made him think there was nothing wrong with him walking up to me and asking to serve his dessert even though the food was running nowhere.

Honestly, I’m not angry, and I’m just baffled. I just walked past him, as I was typing this on my phone. My eye caught his, staring at me and grinning foolishly. Maybe he knew he did something wrong, after all.

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