Anything for the Boys?

I got back home from church on a demanding but very fruitful Saturday. I had gone early morning to inspect the presentation of some teenagers I trained on spoken word for a mentorship camp, while my students in church were waiting for me. I quickly ran to church and we did our spoken word rehearsals for a final presentation that was supposed to happen in service the next day.

By this time, I was already absent for the Bible boot camp we organised for our teenagers, where we were talking about the influence of music and media. I quickly finished up my rehearsals and went for the boot camp, where I tried to do some regulations, and looked for a little trouble. After, I had to run to Tomi Akibo’s house for an apology visit because I missed her wedding (due to work at church).  I then quickly ran home to sort myself out. I had two presentations in two different services the next day. I was basically praying for magic powers to help me split myself into two.

I got home, and someone packed insanely in the middle of the road, such that I couldn’t enter my house, and then my brother blocked the gate!

I was like “whaaaaattt? After such a day, this is the time for me not to be able to enter my house with peace of mind.” So I was stuck in the middle of the road. I got down, and thankfully I saw the road blocker, and begged him to remove his car, while I went to my brother’s friend’s house to call my brother to remove his own car. Nobody answered my knocks, so I walked back to my car, so I could get my phone to call my brother when it happened.

One of the neighbourhood carpenters who sometimes does menial jobs for me walked up to me, and said “se ki n wa?” should I come?

I said “fun kini?” for what?

He said “Fun nkan weekend.” For weekend things

I said in yoruba, “guy, is it not money we are all working for?” I was already getting pissed that I wasn’t able to reach my brother.

Immediately, the second guy, who I happened to call Uncle something cos we basically grew up in the same neighbourhood before he left and built his family, and had now come back to become a nuisance, said in a toutish “Emi nko. Ti o ba tie se weekend fun owun, sebi was a fun emi, egbon e?”
What of me? At least, if you don’t do weekend for him, you will give me, your senior.

I was boiling at this point, thinking “what do these people think of me? That I am father Christmas, or I just go out on weekends, and return with money?”

I said “nkan weekend wo?” what weekend thing?

The 40 something year old guy said “O ni lo o ti o ba se weekend fun mi.” You won’t leave if you don’t do weekend for me

I said “Okay, e duro sibe.” Wait there. And I basically, walked away, extremely annoyed. Yes, I walked away.

Bill Cosby Disdain
Source
I was like this guy is not even ashamed to harass me for money. This guy was a full grown adult when I was celebrating my second birthday o. He doesn’t even know how I hustle from money to night to get money.

Anyway, I finally got my brother to remove his car, and packed properly in the house, totally ignoring the man, like he wasn’t even there.

So my first question is how do you deal with people who just walk up to you because they know you, and ask you for money just because they saw you, and no other reason?

Another thing is few weeks ago, I had the fantasy that I must change my car because I felt I saw a good deal, and I had always wanted a jeep. My brother said I shouldn’t get the car, the parts are expensive, it chops fuel, bla bla bla. He said I should get a smaller car. I said I wanted a big car. So after all the back and forth, I decided that I wasn’t getting any new car because the truth is I want a new car, but I don’t need a new car for now.

So imagine me driving that big car I fantasised about, and these people saw me. They basically have the feeling that I have hit jackpot somewhere, not considering how long I drove my old car, and how long I saved for a new one.

Once you drive a big car, you must be stinkingly rich, and ready to give them free money. If you don’t give them, then you must be stingy. It doesn’t matter how much responsibilities you have.

So my second question is how do you enjoy your climb on the ladder of success without everyone around you thinking you are a wicked person for not dishing a slice of the cake to them?

26 comments

  1. Aunty e wa se weekend fun mi o. Lol

    For me, it depends on my mood and whether i have cash on me. I can be magnanimous when i am in a veryyy good mood. I have come to accept such people so i really don't see it as a big deal anymore.

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    1. So when will you give me my own cut o?

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  2. I'd say its the environment you are in, and the people you are surrounded with. Familiarity can be a dangerous thing as you've clearly pointed out. And with people who always appear to take from others at every opportunity, its a shame really. Greetings!

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    1. Funny enough, I really keep to myself o. I am not the kind of person people can just get familiar with. It is because this guy knew me as a child that he tried that.

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  3. See ehn!!!!This is a real issue! Very very real! The assumptions that people readily make as well as the danger it can pose to once life is not measurable! Our society does not encourage climb to success o! You gats move away from that area ni! Because otherwise, people think they actually know all about your life and struggles and they wont shut up too!

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    1. Hmm, there's really wisdom in your comment. It is just an irony because it is not really a 'local' area like that.

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  4. This topic you raised, is a big problem! I dislike the fact that people simply think they are entitled to money because one has it, by the way one dresses or the house one lives in or the car one drives, or simply being related to someone they think is rich!

    I have had my own fair share of experience that it made me put up an un-smiling face! It also taught me to know how to keep low combined to my introvert nature,it was my defense mechanism. For the fact that I don't complain to people about my challenges, it does not mean that, I don't have any! I rather stay in my own corner and try to climb my ladder of success jejely, until it became obvious... just like pregnancy, you cannot hide for long.

    Please, buy a small new car, to avoid attention being drawn to you, because such people can be dangerous, and can sell their soul for a bowl of porridge! During the political crisis in the late 90's, and people were scared there might be outbreak of war and non-Lagosians will be asked to leave, one man jokingly mentioned the name of a rich man's house he will quickly claim as his! I was mortified because I know this person, and he helps out this particular man with money, food and clothes! Like Blogoratti said, the environment one lives and people they surround themselves with, truly matters!

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    1. Hmm. Small car abi? I think I will just chill for now sha. One day, by the grace of God, I will leave my parents house, and then buy the car of my dreams, lol. The funny thing is when it comes to money and spending, I really lay low. I am not a big spender at all.

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  5. ... I digress.... God bless you for all the work you are doing with teenagers/ young adults. Most people feel when they give financial support, they have done a lot, but there is nothing greater than giving of time and energy. God bless you plenty

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    1. Aww thank you. It is a serious sacrifice, and I have basically has no weekend life for the past 3 years. The good thing is I love what I do, so it is like nothing to me. God's grace made sure of that. Thank you.

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  6. If you don't NEED a new car that's fine but I don't believe you should get a "small" new car just so people don't "disturb" you.....for security reasons...yes...for that reason...No. Enjoy your blessings from God whilst making sure you're not rubbing it in anyone's face or flaunting it unnecessary. How can we pray, fast, ask God for blessings and then become worried because of what people will say?

    Mi o ni is simply mi o ni, end of story. If however, it would become a security risk then just "pipe low". Maybe I have this view because i'm not home, but ko si babanla anybody that will stop me from purchasing what I need if I believe it's the right decision and time.

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    1. Hmmm. It's not a security risk. And I'm not the flashy kind of person, as you know. The thing is no matter how you innocently enjoy your blessings, some people will still think you are rubbing it in their faces. Buy honestly, I don't send. If I need it, I will buy it o

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  7. This "happy weekend sir" people are really annoying. The way they even go about it, you'll think they somehow put the money in your pocket or contributed to your success. Me I just squeeze my face and ignore, except I'm in a very good mood.

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    1. Exactly. The entitlement mentality is appalling.

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  8. Grow a thick skin and rebuff any "weekend" greetings. Whenever someone wishes me a "happy weekend" I say thanks and keep going my merry way. If I really don't want to be bothered, I pretend I'm on a phone call.

    I don't understand why people think that if you've bought a new car, or new anything, you have money lying around to dash people. Hello? I just spent a boatload of money, can I recoup?!?!?!?!?!? Ugh!

    Berry Dakara Blog

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    1. If he greeted happy weekend, it would have been fine. The annoying thing was that he wanted to use his familiarity position to force me to give him money, by blocking me. The walking away I did was because I was already getting touchy because I was being delayed from entering my house after a long day.

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    2. I so agree with you. No one should be able to make me feel bad or blackmail me because of my successes. Happy weekenders are really annoying, especially when they approach you with an entitled air.

      What about i ask "broda mo se ra motor, eyin lo ye ke fun mi lowo".. lol

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    3. @Liftetitudes? Ha, na wahala be that o. That question will just officially earn you the title of "The tightest fist" on the street.

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  9. Annoying!!!! Even at work. I don't mind most times (if I'm in a good mood and i have enough at hand). It annoys the eff out of me when a certain person ONLY calls to ask for money or when they turn it into "everyday is Christmas".

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    1. And Tomi got married??!!! Congratulations to her!

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    2. Yeah, Tomi got married. Obviously, you haven't really been around. You sound really nice, so yes you should be Father Christmas everyday, lol.

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  10. Berry's comment reminds me of what happened last weekend when the lady that makes my mum and I's hair saw her drive in with her new "big car" and started relating how she has been saving for a new freezer and wants my mum to "lend" her 50k like the car means she is now buoyant enough to furnish all the houses in the area *smh*

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    1. That's called "putting someone in a tight corner". I absolutely stamp my foot down when someone tries to do this to me. If you want me to help you, try to give me the choice of saying no without seeming like a devil.

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  11. Lol t is probably easier in the UK as the culture doesn't exist but when we visit naija it is rife! Everyone has a list of what they want you to buy not even knowing how much you earn. That you live in the UK is enough reason for them. They don't care that you also have to sort your bills, save and buy things you need they are all looking for Awoof! If you had the same mentality as they did, you wouldn't be where you are today! Just handle them with wisdom!

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  12. I typed a reallllly long comment on this. And it disappeared :( No strength to retype. Long and short of it is GERRARAHIA MEHN!!!!!!! Shiiiiiii!!!!!

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  13. Ati, e ni se weekend fun emi na ni? Hahahaha

    Most times i just smile and walk away like you did. No time for nonsense jor

    www.mylifeasmoby.com

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What's your opinion on this? Let's learn from one another.