The topic of this post speaks for itself. When do we cross the line that we can actually say that we are cheating on a loved one? Is it (1) when you double date
(2) when you have a fling or one-night stand
(3) when you have fantasies about someone else when you are in a relationship or
(4) when you act on those fantasies?
I, personally, think it is very difficult for one to be with someone for quite a while without being attracted to another person. Even if you are the most holy angel in this world, you will always find someone better in one way or the other than who you are with. It’s the commitment made that matters. I call this other person a ‘passing fancy’ and sometimes ‘useful distraction’. I believe we cross the line when we start acting on the attraction.
It is even worse when sometimes we seek advice when we find ourselves in this situation and the so called ‘advisor’ tells us “follow your heart”. We then get ourselves caught in a web of lies and deceit. I wonder when our hearts became something we could trust? No wonder our hearts and mind are at war most times.
And for those who believe that cheating starts when we are attracted to someone else in any way, then I’ll tell you that I am a born cheater. In fact, I will say I have been cheating all my life and I am still cheating as we speak!
You cannot prevent birds from flying over your head but you can prevent them from building nest on your head. Getting attracted is natural and normal. It becomes cheating when you begin to give it consideration. Deal with it before it consumes you.
ReplyDeleteI, along with most guys, believe that cheating is when you actualy sleep with a babe apart from your girl.
ReplyDeleteSo, kissing, smooching and even oral sex does not count as cheating.
Did you say something about fantasising?
That's taken for granted.
My opinion, of course.
I'm sure most ladies would disagree.
That said, I'm also there are a lot of male saints that think otherwise.
A lot has been blogged about this subject.
See: http://eyemuse.blogspot.com/2008/07/cheating-on-me-cheating-on-you.html
@ kehinde: i agree with u but don't u think it's possible 2 neva get attracted 2 someone else while u r in relationship? lets ask our 'SU' sistahs and brodahs.
ReplyDelete@tobenna: of course u know dat i completely disagree with u. u urself know dat after d dat after d kissing, smooching and did i hear u say 'oral sex'? what is left den, omo dat one is cheating o and no man can convince me otherwise
You've said it all.
ReplyDeleteYou begin to cheat or 'commit adultery' against your spouse when you start acting out your fantasies with the 'third party' with complete disregard to your spouse.
Deal with those fantasies before they consume you.
Fantasies can be a sweet distraction (trust me *winks*)and at the same time great temptation... Cheating Starts when you act on them.
ReplyDeleteBut i sometimes feel "emotionally guilty" when i find myself attracted to someone else.
@tobenna yeah most ladies would disagree..
Fantasies can be a sweet distraction (trust me *winks*)and at the same time great temptation... Cheating Starts when you act on them.
ReplyDeleteBut i sometimes feel "emotionally guilty" when i find myself attracted to someone else.
@tobenna yeah most ladies would disagree..
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