If you can stomach this love affair, you can help me

Hi dearies. How are you all doing? Hope you are keeping your heads above water, and steering of random and idle words.

That time has come again, when I would ask for your help, lol. I never cease to ask for help, right? Well, I am humble like that.

It's been a while since I talked about books, writing, etc, on this page. In fact, I have not talked about book publishing since 2013. It was very intentional. Even though I did a lot of marketing of my books in 2012 and 2013, it was very tiring, and I decided I wanted to take a break from the whole self-publishing thing, and go the way of traditional publishing if I had the opportunity. As we all know, traditional publishing is almost non-existent in Nigeria. But then, when has something or the lack of something ever stopped me.

All I am trying to say now is I think I want to self-publish another book. In fact, the book is ready. It has been ready since the year 2013. No, it is not a collection of poems, short stories or comic write ups. It is a proper novel.

And this is where you guys come in. I need 10 people to read this book of mine, and assess it, giving their honest opinions, no holds barred.

I don't think it is a boring book, I think it is a page-turner, but there's a comma in this book...

It might rub some people the wrong way.

It features an affair between a young man and a teenage girl.

You see why it might be too sensitive for some people. Read the first paragraph of the book below.

Some people say loving a child the way one should love an adult is either a sign of mental illness or just plain depravity, but I beg to differ. There was definitely nothing sick or depraved about the love I had for (...). One thing about my love for her is that it is real, which is more than I can say about the ones many adults have for one another.

Anyway, I need 10 people to volunteer to read my novel. and then I would decide what to do next about this book of mine. I need book lovers to help me finish this beta reading in 2 weeks. Don't be scared, it won't be boring, lol.

All you need to do is put your email address in the comment session if you want to read this novel, or send your email address to hattylolla@yahoo.com, so I can mail the soft copy to you.

Please help me o. I need to earn in dollars this year, abeg. I gotta publish this book. Help me read this book, so my market can sell.

The Dummy's guide to making money during the Economic financial crisis

(Making the Inversely proportional equation work in your favour)

Do you know that every single second naira falls against the dollar, the monetary value of everyone who earns in naira drops. This means that if you were rated 40% poor last year, you have automatically become 80% poor now.

I am not here to trend-blog or complain about the economy. I just want to open your eye to some facts, and if possible, encourage you with some thoughts.

Before I start, I need to mention the fact that I am not an economist or financial expert. I am just a young business woman who understands mathematics very well. So we won’t be plotting supply and demand graphs, discussing 10 steps to wealth acquisition in the time of recession or spewing economic jargons that frankly no one likes to read. We would not be talking about the government, how to attract investors, diversify the economy, or all the things you have been reading and hearing since December 2015.

We would be talking about just one thing, and that is YOU. In fact, the whole of this article is going to be simplified into just two basic points that even the most simple-minded educated person can understand.

Firstly, to put it straight, this is the worst period to earn in naira, and spend in dollars. The more you do that, the poorer you become. So for now, if you want to buy foreign products, use the money you have earned in dollars. If you haven't earned dollars, please buy Nigerian products. It's that simple.

Now, that’s the first level, which is the most basic way to survive in these times. Earn in naira, spend in naira. The bite of the fall in naira will be reduced on you. But there’s a higher level.

If you are very observant, in this period in Nigeria, there are three categories of people. Firstly, the ones who are all over social media, schools, work, churches, mosques, etc. complaining about how terrible the economy is. I call them the victims.

Secondly, we have the decision makers, who are either trying to salvage the economy or sabotage the economy, depending on the divide you fall into. They are mainly people in the government, who get blamed for everything, ranging from why the naira has descended to a level lower than Jesse Pinkman did in Breaking Bad season 2, to why the cockroach we sprayed in our rooms last night with insecticide refused to die, to why we are having the 7th daughter in a row after trying to have a male child in vain. I call them the villains

And lastly, there are the wise people. They are the ones who at this moment are very quiet. They are not complaining. In fact, they are hiding undeground. They are taking advantage of this situation, and making serious money. That is what they do. They take advantage of every situation you drop them into, and turn it around for their goods. I am in this third category, and you can also join it.

Remember I said when you earn in naira, and spend in dollars, you become poorer. This is an inversely proportional equation. Therefore, the reverse is the case. When you earn in dollars and spend in naira, you become richer.

So you would think that in situations like this, many people would wake up to this reality, and take advantage of the situation, instead of complaining about how Buhari or Jonathan has ruined the economy.

The world is now a global village, so don’t think you cannot earn in dollars. Not only can you export products, you can export services and intellectual properties. When you write a book and sell on amazon, do you earn in naira because you are a Nigerian? No, you earn in dollars and pounds.
Google adsense pays bloggers in dollars. As an editor catering to writers all over the world, you would get paid in a foreign currency. There so many services you can sell on fiverr.com. The common factor here is that the market be international.

There are so many services you can sell all over the world without leaving the comfort of your room. You don’t even have to take your bath if you don’t want to. The days of people rushing to work every morning as the only option to earn income are fast plunging into oblivion. If you are still stuck in that era or mindset, get ready because the moving train is about to leave you behind.

This is the time when any idea you are developing should cross the boundaries of Nigeria. And if you are exporting physical products that are in wide demand, lucky you, it is your time to get rich while others are crying.

As a one-liner bonus, I’ve said this and would keep saying it. Watch your tongue. Don’t spew careless words this season. If you don’t have anything good to say about the economy or your situation, don’t say anything!

In essence, what I am saying is that it is not all gloom and doom that everyone seems to think it is. Don’t believe the inverse hype, people are getting rich. You can choose to join them or sing the bandwagon canary song. It is your choice. The question is “are you willing to put in the work it takes?”

I think there's something wrong with me

Please, don't be fooled by the title of this post. It is not as serious as it sounds.

But seriously, I think there's something about me. This is a secret I have never shared with anyone before. So it means the matter has reached the level of code red.

So I want to take about 5 minutes to lay my bed at night, but I end up spending 26 minutes because I am using 21 minutes to dance in between.

Yes, I dance in my room, alone, lots of times. So I am wondering... Is this normal?

On Saturday, while scheduling some blog posts, I had to restrain myself, to finish writing the blog post, before jumping up and dancing. It was like my body was just pinching me to get up and dance.

Please, is it normal? Lol.

And it is not just normal move body dance o. It is serious stepping, jumping, twisting, mad moves, Lol. And I always always always dance in front of the mirror. And no, it's not work out (I already work out vigorously every morning). I'm also not trying to lose weight (I have no weight to lose)

I used to be a professional dancer, but never a partying person like that. So I was basically a stage dancer. But never make the mistake of inviting me to a party when 70% of the attendants are my friends, then we gonnn burn the dance floor. Anything less than 70%, I won't even attend.

Now, I don't really dance again. I'm just all by myself. But still, I dance all the time, during worship session, just walking to the bathroom, etc. And I do it alone, where I am seen by no one.

Anyway, is it normal? To just be dancing anyhow, just be getting up and be dancing, in the middle of serious work.

One more thing, my dance craze starts anytime from 7.00pm.

Another thing, please someone should help me interpret this one-liner poem of mine below. It's so simple, but no one has given me the answer.

When God cursed me

There's a church opposite my house that conduct services every day. Yes, you read right, every single day. The worst part is that the service holds in the evenings at the same time I'm doing bible study. The church is very small, really small but their loudspeaker is indirectly proportional to the size of the church. And guess the direction of the sound… straight through my window.

As outrageous as the above is, that is not the point of today's post.

Seeing the sound architecture of this church described above, it is therefore expected that I hear every single word uttered in their service, every praise and worship song, every off beat music, every prayer point and the whole sermon. Seeing as this is my current reality, I've learnt to block out the whole thing and just treat it like the noise pollution it really is. But sometimes I can't help but hear some things being said

And so it was that last Wednesday evening, doing my bible study as usual, this prayer point straight from this church loudspeaker, bypassed the word I was studying and hit my brain straight.
"Everybody say father, if I've done anything to deserve your curse, please forgive me in the name of Jesus." 
I immediately looked up, arched my back straight and stretched my ear lobes. I listened intently as the person giving the prayer point repeated it like 3 more times after which the whole congregation started praying.

I instantly became very worried. I kept screaming in my spirit “God doesn't curse people.” In my mind, I was crying for the people.

What kind of church is this? What kind of word is this? Don't people read their bibles? Doesn't the pastor/prayer warrior read his bible? Who will tell these people? Who will show this people the truth?

We are Christians. We are seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We have the same authority that Christ has. All principalities and powers are under our feet where it has been since the work was finished 2000 years ago. God can't curse you because you sinned. That was the whole essence of the cross. If you have sinned, you can come to the cross, obtain the forgiveness which has already been a done deal since ages past, and go and sin no more.

God cannot curse you! In fact, the devil cannot curse you. Yes you read that right.

Can we live under curses as Christians? Yes we can.

We can live under curses due to ignorance of what has been done for us. But once you know your right and the authority that was given to you when Christ resurrected, you place yourself in the position you truly are and begin to command things the way you want them with the mind-set that you already have the victory. You are just going to enforce your right.

Let me stop here on the issue of the believer’s authority because it is deeper than this.

The main things you should know are that…

God cannot curse you. He doesn't curse his children. Don't let someone put something on you that God didn't put there.

Read your bibles abeg. Or how else would you know that someone is spewing nonsense on the altar if you are not educated in the word?

Watch the church you go to. Honestly some pastors are not educated. I have a friend who was made pastor of a parish after spending few months as a worker in that church. He's a fellow blogger so he knows what I'm talking about.

I really don't want to do this but I'm sorry I have to so that the word will get to the ears of the right people. The church I'm talking about is one of the franchised redeemed churches. Maybe someone will tell Pastor Adeboye that regular inspections need to be conducted on their franchise so their members would not leave worse than they came in the first place


If only they stayed this way forever

One of my students is mixed race

Nigerian mother, Indian Father

Her personality is like the sunshine

She lights up every environment she steps in

Always smiling

Extremely extremely extremely sanguine

She never stays down, even when you try to curb her

On Saturday, she was 45 minutes late for the class

Because her parents did not leave home on time

She was the last to come in to class

I did not interrupt the class for her, as I continued

When done with the other student, I turned to face her

She was tense and red

Her unhappiness was like a glass you could see through

My heart broke at her sadness that I took time to explain what she had missed

I continued teaching, and later stepped out of the class for bit

When I got back, she had become the sunshine again

She had done an imagery on my earrings, and nailed it

After the class, I asked

When you got to class, I noticed your face was red

Her brother responded

She was crying on our way

Why were you crying? Because you were late?

Yes. My brother made me late.

"You were crying because you were late?" I couldn't believe my ears.

Well, thank God you didn't really miss anything since you were able to catch up fast

"Yes, and I did an imagery on your earrings, and you didn't even know the object was on you."

At that point, I wished that 10 years from now, she would still remain the same.

I wish I could take her innocence and sunshine, and bottle it up

And then someday show her

This is the way you used to be

Don't let anyone tamper with it