Milkeyes... by Atilola Moronfolu


I looked at Tessy, beautiful Tessy. Her lovely large Chinese eyes with eyeballs as white as snow. I nicknamed her Milkeyes as her eyes reminded me of the television advert of a popular evaporated milk. The first day I came to this compound, and lay my eyes on her, I knew I was in for big trouble, as she was capable of letting my weakness surface again. I had been running from this demon that has been chasing me from place to place, but always seemed to have the upper hand.

The first time I saw Milkeyes, I shivered as I became hard down there. She walked past me with her friends and smiled sweetly at me. I smiled back and she waved innocently. If only she knew what I was thinking, she would have run far far away. I instantly checked myself. No, my demons would not take over. Not this time!

The next week, I saw Milkeyes, she hugged me so tight. Gosh, she is very friendly, in fact, too friendly. Didn’t her mother tell her about the world and the wicked people in it? She kept holding my hands. She had just lost a tooth. The wide space in her dentition seemed to attract me further. I pulled her closer to me, hugged her very tight, and tickled her underarms. She responded with loud innocent chuckles which turned me on.

Over the months, Milkeyes and I became close, almost inseparable. She trusted me and told me about all her friends. I told her about my work. She could not be muted as her curiosity was insatiable. “What is this, what about this?” She always asked. Damn, she could never stop. She was such a smart lass, and always had a comeback for everything I said. Well, this was what made me love people like her more.

One fateful day, I heard a light knock on my door. I opened it and looked down, and there was my beautiful Milkeyes, with her white eyeballs staring at me sheepishly. The gap in her dentition was beginning to be replaced by another tooth half in size when compared to its surrounding companions. The pink Alice band and colourful accessories adorning her hair was in a class of its own. Oh, what a sight to behold! She was as excited to see me as I was to see her. Quickly I pulled her in through the door, passed my balcony and locked my sliding glass.

And then, just like that, BAM! He took over. I tossed Milkeyes on the bed, covered her mouth and ran my fingers all over her, every single part of her. She looked scared, I did not like her scared face so I told her it would be alright, but not before I had shouted at her to dare not make a sound. After playing with her body, I told her to touch me too, in the place where I love to be touched. I told her to play with it. At least, if I could not get any other person to touch me, I could force Milkeyes to do it.

I finally had my fill with six year old Tessy and eventually asked her why she came. With tears in her eyes, she said her mum sent her to collect my blender because hers suddenly blew up while using it. Gosh, it was an emergency! By now, her mum must have been wondering why she was taking so long. So I walked into the kitchen and gave her the blender. “If you ever tell anyone what happened today, I swear, I would kill you and your family. You don’t want to test me. Now dry up your tears, and tell your mum you had to stay long because you got carried away with the games on my new iPad.” I said to her. Tessy cleaned her tears and hurriedly ran out as I unlocked the sliding glass.

The demon left immediately she stepped out. Oh my God, what have I done? I have done it again. I did it to Tessy, my beautiful and innocent Milkeyes. She would never be innocent again. I waited anxiously that night, wondering if Tessy’s mum would badge in. Every knock on my door that evening was a source of anxiety.
One day, two days, one week, one month… no one came, no one asked anything. Life remained just the way it was before my encounter with Milkeyes. I guess my empty threats worked wonders in her mind, and I would be escaping jail one more time. I don’t know if I would be lucky next time.

I saw Tessy this afternoon. She has, for long, stopped playing with me. Her eyes doesn’t look up eagerly to me when I pass by anymore, I can’t even tell if they are still milky. I miss our times together, her innocent smiles and her never-ending questions. Our eyes suddenly locked. After few seconds that seemed like an eternity to me, she looked away to her friend and smiled. Something seemed missing from that smile… her innocence… and I was the cause of it.

She is gone. Milkeyes is gone, and left just plain Tessy behind.

The Atheist! by Atilola Moronfolu

I am happy to announce that I have started submitting some of the writing assignments you guys gave me in this post. If I haven't submitted your assignment, just know that I am either working on it, or would get to it sooner or later. But one thing is for sure, I would do it and get to you sooner than you expect. If you did not give me any assignment, and would want to add yours, please, feel free. I would really love to write for you.

When I wrote The Atheist, I had more of spoken word, rather than poetry, in mind. Reason for the long sentences and the nature. I might still change the title. If you have a title in mind, you can suggest. Thanks.


You called me an atheist and said I deserve a punch
Just because I highlighted the hypocrisy in the new generation church
I choose to speak against this myopic label
Cos as we know, atheism is synonymous to being a rebel
You said I look at the church with a funny philosophical light
Because I complained about the five loudspeakers blazing through my window every Friday night.
My ear drums have bursted, I can no longer hear my pastor’s sermon on Sunday morning right
Nor sing praise and worship, without my head feeling light

Should I tell you the stories of how God miraculously saved me from the throes of death
Or how he lifted me on high and made my enemies fret
Are you with me when I cry out in worship and praise every morning and night
Do you ever wonder how come I spit Isaiah 60 like fire and rhyme it tight
Oooh oohh, I guess you thought my sudden upliftment was by the works of my hands?
It was nothing but a quantum leap effected by the Grace of God pulling the right strands

Of course you don’t know this, cos to me you choose to act like a Pharisee
And take what you don't know less important than what you see
You just call me an atheist because I speak the language of God instead of religion
And refuse to join the people who claim to be many, for their name is legion
Don’t get it twisted, God called me the Light of the World
That’s why I get restless when everything goes wrong with the world
I am not bitter, I am not sad, and very far from evil
After all, when Jesus spoke against the Pharisees, he was called a devil

If you know what God has done for me, you would never call me an atheist
Instead, you would face the pastor who chose to be a rapist
The masochist
And the one who chose to speak to his wife with his fist

So pardon me for the choice of where I flash my torch
Even if for now, its beam seems to rest on the church

Blessing Gbeborun - Reading by Atilola Moronfolu

Hello people, if you live in the UK and have not entered for the UK giveaway of my book, Antonyms of a Mirage, well, times-a-runnin'. Click here to enter for the giveaway after reading the instructions.

So who listened to my interview on Wazobia FM ooo? It was so much fun. I spoke pidgin all through, as its the prerequisite to being on that station. I had a lovely time. Lolo1 of Wazobia FM is just too on point, and has a sweet sweet spirit. I ended up reading the Pidgin Poem I had in the book, as it was the most appropriate content for the station. I got a standing ovation from the Radio crew when I was done, and my head wanted to burst.

Blessing Gbeborun is my first and only pidgin poem yet. I remember that when I was doing the entry game, a lot of people voted for me to put this poem on the blog, but it lost with just one vote. Apart from the Wazobia, I have since performed it at two shows.

Before you watch the performance, permit me to quickly insert one gbeborun political story. I have followed the whole Edo state election story. I was particularly pissed with the people of Edo state when I heard that PDP was buying off their voters card, for as high as N40,000.00 sometimes. And as you know, once you sell your card, you sell your POWER to make a difference in this country. Since I am not really into violence, I feel the only collective power we have is our vote. I was so so so so so pissed, so pissed that I even wrote a stinker poem for the people selling the voters card. If you read this post I did one time, you will understand why I had such a high degree of 'pissedness'.

Come the D-Day, everyone came out and voted en-masse for Oshiomole. Okay now, where did lots of people get voter's card to vote if they sold it to PDP? JAMB Question. It was later found out that people were doing coloured photocopy and lamination of their voter's card and selling to PDP so they still had their original card and went ahead to vote for their preferred candidate. I laughed so hard when I heard this. Oh my gosh! See mass scamming. Them say 'Cunny man die, cunny man bury am.' Edo people, did I initially say I was pissed? No no no, I love you guys. This is exactly what an 'un-bornagain Atilola' would have done.

P.S: I don't support any party oo, as I am not interested in politics. I support candidates, not parties. I was just doing a political gbeborun on what I heard on political programs.

So, back to my Blessing Gbeborun poetry reading. /The setting of the story is the Typical face-me-I-face-you one. Sorry about the picture quality but see the picture below to get how I really looked in the video

Blessing Gbeborun by Atilola Moronfolu

Antonyms of a Mirage - UK Hard Copy Giveaway

I want to start this post by thanking you all for your kind comments in my last post. I am really grateful. Yes, when there is life there is hope... hope for replenishment. God bless you all.

To everyone that tuned in to listen to my interview with T-I-T-I on 92.3 Inspiration fm last Friday, MUAH!!! That is a big wet slippery kiss on the cheek for y'all. Thanks so much. What would I do without you guys? Once again, I would be live on air, talking about my book, with Igos and the one and only Lolo 1 on 95.1 Wazobia fm by 10.00 a.m. tomorrow. You want to know whether I would be speaking pidgin with them? Wonder no more, just tune in tomorrow. Catchyas

Its time for the second phase of the Hard Copy giveaway of my book. The first phase was for Nigerian residents. If you are in Nigeria and did not partake or win in my last giveaway, don't worry, Relentless Builder is giving out three copies of my book, Antonyms of a Mirage, this month. Just click here to participate. Who knows, you might just be one of the lucky winner.

This second phase of my giveaway will be going to the interested readers in the UK. All my Jand followers, say Aye. Lol

So you know the rules, but for you guys, I will be adding one tiny bit. At least, you guys don't have internet issues like we do in naija, so it shouldn't be a problem. So here goes it...

1. You must be residing in the UK.
2. You must be a follower of this blog. Click on the follow button, on the follower gadget, on the right hand side of this blog, if you are not yet following this blog
3. Follow me on twitter. The handle is @hattylolla.
4. Like my any of my editions of Antonyms of a Mirage on amazon by clicking the like button on any of these pages here, here or here. (Liking just one will get you qualified, but you can like all, just in case you are over-killing this. Lol)
5. Drop a comment indicating your interest below.

For those hearing about the book for the first time, read the synopsis and watch the trailer below. You are sure to love it. Even if you have heard about the book, still read the synopsis because I know you haven’t read it before.

A character suffering from multiple personality disorder decides to express herself. With six different personalities in her head vying for the spotlight, a constant battle occurs as the book progresses.

The sagacious one starts with her wise stories, in her usual mature style. As the bitter one, the melancholic one and others take over, more heart wrenching issues are exposed, and the reality of the world we live in comes to play. Each character invites you to her world, to experience what they are experiencing in their own unique way.

The article starts with one about corruption in Corruption Noni, where the writer had the opportunity to interview corruption and then progresses to really deep stories that touch prostitution, religious hypocrisy, marital pressures, and other societal ills. Each article portrays a reality that you can relate with.

At the end, the comic one ends up defeats all and is victorious with her funny stories, proving that no matter how twisted our reality is, there is always a reason to laugh in the end.

On fire + Akanni Street - Spoken Word by Atilola Moronfolu

I thank you guys that rose to the occasion of helping me in the previous post. I have complied the suggestion and came up with just thirteen topics. This means I still have a long way to go so please and please, I still need your ideas oo. Click here to read and help if you don't know what I am talking about.

Yesterday was not a good day for me at all but I thank God that I am alive and kicking sha. Part of my car caught fire and burnt. I was so weak. Good Samaritans came to help me put the fire out. For the first time ever, I realised I did not have a fire extinguisher. A trailer on the other side of the express parked and passed his extinguisher to my side. I was too shocked to do anything reasonable. People helped me put the fire out and pushed my car to one side of the express. There are still good people in Lagos o, don't listen to everything you hear.

This incident has affected my schedule a great deal. I am supposed to have a reading at the US Embassy this afternoon, but I will be absent. Yes, I know its somehow , but if it were worse nko? From there, I am supposed to be at another reading event at Maryland in the evening. I can't even imagine going to the island in a cab at this period when third mainland bridge is being renovated. I can't be doing my normal up and down in this Lagos without a car as I spend 90% of my working hours on the road.

I decided to just sit at home and sulk a bit, then take time to thank God that my life was spared cos I believe my brain actually disconnected for some seconds as I did not seem to know how to unlock my door and get out. I was just praying for God not to allow the car explode. I am taking today to replace the burnt parts cos it must be ready today. Yes it will cost me some money, but meehhhnnn, I just have to close my eyes and do it, even if I might have to drink garri for a while. Another good news is that the car engine was spared.

Away from the bad news, lemme cheer myself up a bit. The video below was supposed to be a normal poetry reading, but it turned out to be something else, Maybe it was because of the topic or because of the way I read it. I think I read it as if the issue pains me, because sometimes it does. In fact, this particular poetry and video is what some people saw before I was invited to the US consulate to read some of my works, and they asked me to do this again there.

Some of you might remember when I posted the poetry version on this blog last year, as it attracted loads of comments.

Watch what happens in the middle of the reading. Even though the stuff wasn’t funny to me, I ended up being infected as I had to start all over again.

Bloggers, Readers, Writers... your help is needed

Remember the last post where I said I was going to 98.1 Smooth fm for a Book Reading/Review session, Author Interview and all? Well, I had a lovely time with the presenter, Hauwa. I hope some of you listened to the interview oo. I ended up taking few pictures.

My interview with TITI on Inspiration fm is this Friday, by 11.00 a.m. Please, don't forget to tune in. Thanks.

Hauwa, the presenter, and I

So as the topic implies, I need your help once again. I am currently working on a project and I think this approach is good, as it will make me more accountable. When i was a diary writer for my department in my former office, I realised that my articles were funniest when they gave me a specific topic or tagline to work on. I had to crack my brain and had to deliver well.

Anyway, I am working on a project, in which most of the articles must be funny but if I wait for inspiration from myself alone, I might take longer than required. So this is what I need you to do for me. Everyone should give me a topic or theme they want me to write on. I determine the setting, the characters and how the story will go. All I want from you is a topic or a theme. Then after writing, I will submit the story to you through your email address. So you get the story for whatever topic you choose, but you are only allowed to read the story aloud to one person. The story is yours and must not be shared. Let’s just put it this way, you are the teacher, I am the student. You give me an assignment, and I submit to you.

The guidelines for giving me a topic are stated below.

1. I, Atilola, should be able to relate to or understand the topic. For example, prism wrote about ratchet, which I believe is a reigning slang in US used for a very tacky person. That’s what I understood after googling it, I might be wrong. In this instance, I won’t be able to write about ratchet cos i can’t relate with it. So I won’t be writing about US or Asian slangs for that matter. Softly softly on me.

2. It must be a topic or a theme I can turn into something funny. For example, you can’t ask me to write by taking on the character of a paedophile. I am currently working on an article where I am a paedophile, but in no way can that article be funny to me or any right-thinking person. It can only be a melancholic or bitter article.

3. Please, think wide. Think outside the box. Be creative with the topic. You are allowed to suggest more than one topic, suggest as many as you like.

I am sure you are wondering why I am, stressing you guys when you the ones helping me. Abeg, I am on my knees, please, just be my teacher for once. Please

My punishment
After you guys give me your topic, once I have decided that I can write on your topic, I will be committing to a submission deadline to each person, which I will mail to you guys. If I don’t submit it by then, unfollow me on my blog and twitter. I sure don’t want to lose followers, so this is a serious punishment for me.
Thanks in advance for all. You guys are too much. So let me see what kind of suggestions I will be finding in the comment section.

Update on my Radio Tour - 93.7 fm + 105.1 fm + Atilola and Hauwa on Smooth 98.1 fm

Just in case you missed my wednesday update in my last post, I had to postpone my interview with T-I-T-I to next Friday,13 July 2012, because I had to attend to some urgent stuffs.

I had a live interview with Jennifer on City 105.1 fm yesterday afternoon, she is one free and uppity lady. I also had a live interview with Omalicha and IK, yeah the Big Brother presenter, IK on Rhythm 93.7 on Wednesday. I did not have enough time to broadcast it on blogger, so please, forgive me. It was really fun, they even ended up using one of my poems, 'Because', to diss themselves, lol. I had to think on my feet. Sorry for the messed up picture quality below.

IK and I (Yea, I know I am short. I was stretching, while
he was bending. Still... I no reach anywhere)

Omalicha and I. Yeah, they are as crazy in person as
they sound on radio
I have been working on this radio tour for like two weeks, and I did not intend to visit radio stations back to back like this, but it ended up being this way, so I am still happy.

I will be live with Hauwa on 98.1 Smooth fm for a Book Reading/Review, Author Interview session tomorrow Saturday by 10.00 a.m. We will still be discussing Antonyms of a Mirage and what inspired me to write it. So to everyone that has been missing my radio interviews, tune in to listen to this.

So tomorrow, keep it locked down with Atilola and Hauwa on 98.1 Smooth fm.

I am out

Chief Nakedfeet

Guess who was interviewed live on the on-air book club on 92.3 Inspiration fm? Yes, you guessed right? Me. We mainly talked about someone else’s book at first. We later talked about my book for a whole, and I was interviewed.

Anyway, my own main session is this Friday. We will be talking about Antonyms of a Mirage and Atilola Moronfolu. Portions of my book will be read and listeners will call in to ask me questions. Please, tune in by 10.30 am to 11.30 am to listen live.

UPDATE on 04 JULY: Sorry people, I have had to postpone my live Interview with TITI on Inspiration to next Friday, 13 July 2012 for some unavoidable resaons. I had to be doing last minute runs, to find a writer to replace me in the interview. Still tune in this Friday sha, my friend will be talking about her book, The Blessing of Sarah, while I will be conducting mine next week.

I wrote a new article on Chief Nakedfeet. Please, read and click honestly in the opinion poll below. I hereby introduce to you Chief Nakedfeet.

Once upon a time, in a town called Baleria, which was made up of three major three major regions, there lived a man called Mr Nakedfeet. The people of Baleria decided to make Mr Nakedfeet their chief because they felt that since his feet were naked for a long time, and he knew what it meant to walk on hot sand, he would get rid of all the hot sand when he becomes chief.

The actual fact is that Mr Nakedfeet never promised the people of Baleria that he would get rid of all the hot sand, he only told us that his feet were naked for a long time, but the tribesmen of Baleria still assumed this.

Even when the little children of Baleria called Mr Nakedfeet to come and tell them what he would do for them once he becomes chief, Mr Nakedfeet decided to bear his middle name which was wax-filledears. When the children began to agitate, the elders of Baleria told the children ‘Sharrap ya mawut. All you small small shidren of nowadays. What do you know? Can’t you see his feet have been naked for a long time? You want him to still walk on hot sand to come and answer ya kweshons?’ And so the children of Baleria were silenced and forced to watch Mr Nakedfeet become the Chief of the town. After this happened, Mr Nakedfeet acquired thousands of shoes to wear. His feet were no longer naked.

What we did not know was that some people in a particular family from a particular clan were not happy that Mr Nakedfeet’s title had changed from Mr to Chief. They felt they were cheated and a member of their clan should have been made the chief, based on a meeting that some particular elders had some months back. This particular family called themselves The Diabulos.

So out of anger, the Diabulos started pouring fire on the sand the people were walking on. The sand became very hot, so hot that only people whose shoes had special soles could survive the heat. The people of Baleria all begged Chief Nakedfeet to save them from this hot sand because that was what they expected him to do, as the chief of the town.

On several occasions, the people ran to the Town Crier to report to the chief about the events.
Town Crier: Chief Nakedfeet, the people are agitating. The Diabulos have attacked the Kaduna family. They have made the sand there very hot... so hot that people are melting.
Chief Nakedfeet: Go and tell them that I VOW to end the attack of the Diabulos.
Town Crier: (Facing the multitude) People of Baleria, Chief Nakedfeet HAS VOWED to end the attack of the Diabulos.

On another occasion...
Town Crier: Chief Nakedfeet, the people are agitating. The Diabulos have attacked the Kano family. They have made the sand there very hot... so hot that people are melting.
Chief Nakedfeet: Go and tell them that I AM IN SHOCK concerning the atrocities of the Diabulos
Town Crier: (Facing the multitude) People of Baleria, Chief Nakedfeet IS IN SHOCK concerning the atrocities of the Diabulos.

On yet another occasion...
Town Crier: Chief Nakedfeet, the people are agitating. The Diabulos have attacked the Borno family. They have made the sand there very hot... so hot that people are melting.
Chief Nakedfeet: Go and tell them that I CONDEMN the attack of the Diabulos
Town Crier: (Facing the multitude) People of Baleria, Chief Nakedfeet CONDEMNS the attack of the Diabulos.

After these communication incidents, the people started getting tired. Chief Nakedfeet was always either in shock, condemning the attack, or vowing to end it. Yet, the sand kept getting hotter and people kept melting away.

This did not affect Chief Nakedfeet, as his feet were no more naked after he acquired thousands of shoes... shoes quality enough to absorb the heat of the sand

One day, after hundreds of people melted away, Chief Nakedfeet saw their wax remains and started crying. It was then the people of Baleria realised that Chief Nakedfeet had no idea about what to do to cool the hot sand. It was then the elders and children wished they did not make him Chief.

What will happen to the town of Baleria now? As we speak, the sand gets hotter by the day. People melt away, but Chief Nakedfeet cannot do anything about it, as he is still IN SHOCK.

Please, share your honest opinion using the polls below. The two polls are for different purposes and both important so please vote on both. Don't worry, its anonymous. But please, still leave your blog comments in the comment section. It is highly appreciated. Thank you very much

I think the Nakedfeet story is... free polls 

Chief Nakedfeet story in Series free polls